A/N: For those of you who have read my other story, "Of Computers, Magic, and the Meaning of Life" no I am not giving up on it yet - merely that I am stumbling into the pervasive writer's block from a lack of reviews. Well, that and my brain decided to think about writing a version of the typical 'Team Natsu kicks Lucy out' story (or maybe I've just read too many of them recently). There will be some foul language, and an OC later on. But anyways, this shall mark the start of my second story. Enjoy!
Also, Fairy Tail and related persona belong to Mashima. I can only claim the OC and plot development.
Chapter 1 (Lucy's POV)
I sighed to myself. I had just returned home from yet another exhausting solo mission, yet as grateful as I am for earning the Jewels necessary to continue paying for my rent I felt lonely that I wasn't going on missions with Team Natsu – even though they'd end up costing us about half of the mission reward anyways, they sure knew how to entertain during the mission without fail. As I stripped down and bathed, an all-too-familiar ache returned to my heart, one that until recently I thought I wouldn't have to feel ever again in my young life. It has been nearly 6 months since the Grand Magic Games ended and the war with the dragons brought on by Future Rogue. Sure, we did end up winning that war, but ever since then it's seemed to me that Natsu has only grown more distant from me.
Thinking about Natsu's current distance made me recall the month after Lisanna returned from Edolas. I'll admit that it was hard for me to take being ignored by basically everyone except for Levy, Gajeel, Mira, and Master, though I probably brought that upon myself seeing as I left their almost-constant partying only a few days after Lisanna's return to go on a mission so that I could pay my rent. Thankfully everything returned to about as normal as it could get in Fairy Tail, and once I got to know her I became friends with Lisanna since she was pretty much like her sister Mira but without a dormant demonic aura lying within. My wandering thoughts soon returned to my present state, and feeling the water being much cooler than when I had originally filled the tub I heaved myself out to towel off and head for bed.
As I lay on my bed, Natsu just had to pop into my head again and I groaned aloud seeing images of him spending increasing amounts of time with Lisanna. Back when she had just returned, he had spent the month of partying making sure that his childhood friend was really all safe and sound and whatnot, but he still willingly returned to help me out with paying my rent; now, he's been taking missions with her and Happy and caused the unofficial dissolution of Team Natsu – though that idiot probably doesn't even realize it. Gray finally accepted Juvia into his life, and as happy as I am for them (especially since Juvia no longer calls me 'Love Rival') I couldn't bring myself to ask them for help going on missions to pay my rent. Erza stoically returned to completing lengthy S-class missions alone as if Team Natsu had never existed, and I saw her so rarely these days I had to wonder if things were changing into what Fairy Tail would've been like had I never met Natsu and been dragged to this guild. Just thinking about this made my heart ache even worse, and as much as I wanted Natsu to at least acknowledge me again I couldn't bring myself to hate Lisanna – she is too sweet to have forced Natsu to leave me for her, and even if she somehow did I know that Mira would've been fussing all over it.
Shuddering at Mira's continued meddling in trying to pair us up, I drove that thought out of my mind and brought my hands up to cup my face, silently whimpering into them. It was going to be yet another restless night by the looks of it.
I woke up the next morning, hardly having rested despite being asleep, and even though my heart wasn't aching as much right now as it had been last night I could tell that today was going to be a bad day. I don't know how or why I came to this conclusion – I just felt as if it was already set in store for me with no way for me to change it. I blame the stars for this, even though I know they couldn't have had any influence on this except through their spirit forms, and as far as I am aware there aren't any other Celestial Spirit mages anywhere near Magnolia. So why do I feel so apprehensive about today? It's nothing different from any other day after I returned from another solo mission, right? With an effort, I drag myself out of bed and force myself to dress up in a presentable manner before heading off to the guild. Putting on a white tank top with a blue cross on it and dark blue shorts, I grabbed Cancer's key and shouted, "Open! The Gate of the Giant Crab, Cancer!"
"What hair style would you like today, ebi?" Cancer asked me as he arrived.
I glanced at myself in a mirror before responding. "If you could just straighten it out and then gather it back into a large ponytail, that would be nice."
"Understood, ebi." With that, Cancer quickly did up my hair the way I asked him to. Stepping back, he let me look at myself it the mirror and saw it hanging in a single ponytail looking as if I had never left the Heartfilia mansion. Smiling, I hugged him and said, "Thanks Cancer, it looks amazing as always! You can return if you want."
As he nodded and popped back to the Spirit World, I suddenly felt arms grab me by the waist and pull me into a hug. Looking up, I saw that Loke had come through his gate once again.
"Hey Loke, what's up? Are you tired from that last mission? I know that I still am," I asked him. Loke only looked back at me with sadness showing in his eyes, and I could tell that he still felt my pain from last night. Sighing, I gave up attempting small talk and faced the window with a small pout on my lips. "Alright, alright, I'll tell you if you walk with me to the guild," I say.
Walking along the street, I tell Loke about how my heart still aches from the way Natsu continues to ignore me, though I do have to calm him down and keep him from trying to intentionally beating up the idiot when we get to the guild. Seeing the guild loom larger and larger as we approached, I thanked Loke for walking with me to the guild but asked him to return to the Spirit World in order to get him to not hurt Natsu. As much of an idiot Natsu may be, he would never intentionally hurt his friends or me so I figured that it wouldn't change things if Loke tried to beat up Natsu, right? With that in mind, I walked into the guild waving and smiling at everyone that would acknowledge me as if nothing was wrong – I mean, it's only a temporary emotional pain when most of the guild has been ignoring me for almost as long as Natsu has been avoiding me, right? It couldn't get any worse, can it?
Sitting down at the bar, I asked Mira for a strawberry milkshake, hoping that it could help me clear my mind. Mira smiled and left into the kitchen to make one for me. When she came back, she set it down gently in front of me and asked, "Is something wrong, Lucy? You can talk to me about it, you know."
I considered whether I should let my emotions flow out to her, but decided that now was not the right time so I shook my head and replied, "Not right now, no thanks. Do you know when Erza gets back from her mission? I haven't seen her in sooo looong," with a small pout betraying the sadness I felt from having so few people available to talk to. Gulping down a large mouthful of milkshake, I let my eyes wander from Mira's shrug to roaming around the hall searching for the few people who still made me feel like a part of the family called Fairy Tail. Besides Mira working the bar behind me and Master who was probably still up in his office, I could only find Gray talking with Juvia about something and Wendy chatting with Romeo about something else. Levy must've taken a mission or went off training with Gajeel, the latter being more likely since he wasn't around either, and Lisanna was doing some other mission with Natsu. With a sigh, I continued drinking my milkshake as I accepted the fact that there wasn't anyone around at the moment whom I felt could understand my pain.
Finishing my milkshake, I made to lay my head down in my arms on the bar when I heard the guild doors slam open accompanied by a roaring "I'M BAAACK!" by none other than – you guessed it – Natsu, closely followed by Lisanna. Of course, it snapped Gray out of his conversation with Juvia enough for him to go challenge his rival yet again.
"Oi, flame brain, what took you so long? We would've finished that mission in half the time you did!" … and there goes Gray's shirt. How does he even strip that quickly without realizing it?
"What'd you say, ice princess? We weren't gone for that long, and I sure know you couldn't have beaten them up so badly while trying to care for Juvia in the meantime," retorted Natsu.
"Oh yeah, squinty eyes? I'm sure I could've done worse than you did."
Surprisingly, Natsu ignored that last remark and, instead of starting another fight as usual, he started walking over to me with that big toothy grin plastered on his face. "Hey Luce!"
"H-Hey Natsu," I stammered. Why would he come talk to me, all out-of-the-blue as if he hadn't been blatantly avoiding me these past six months? This can't be good…
"I wanted to talk to you." I'm pretty sure my heart rate just doubled, and his dragon senses would definitely pick up on it. "About what?" I asked, since it seems like Natsu started to struggle with finding words to say.
"… About Lisanna joining the team–" My heart probably skipped a beat here "–but five members is too many people to split a reward amongst, so seeing as how you've been doing just fine on your solo missions these past few months … would you mind if Team Natsu went on missions with Lisanna instead so that you could easily pay for your rent and not need us to keep saving you on tougher missions? It'd also give you a chance to, well, get stronger as a mage."
I blinked, and time seemed to slow down. 'Wait, what? That can't be right,' I thought to myself.
I blinked again, as time seemed to stop. 'Did he just say what I think he said? And with that grin of his plastered on his face?'
I blinked to try and force time into motion again, hearing my heart shatter into a million pieces on the wooden floor. 'No … fuck … no no no nononooo! This can't be real! This can't be happening to me! Whyy?' I asked myself, recalling all too painfully just how big of an idiot Natsu really was.
Feeling tears threatening to flow out my eyes, I bit back my crying and I finally found enough sense in me to flee from of the guild, managing to stumble past a woman with scarlet hair and dressed in a full suit of armor who had just come to the doors but not hearing her voice nor her questions. Somehow I found myself back in my home, and I threw myself face first onto my bed as I let out all the emotions that had been building up inside of me for the past six months. Crying for seemingly hours on end, with all my tears having been absorbed by my pillow, I only calmed down enough to turn over onto my back and cry myself to sleep, not at all caring that I was lying upon a tear-soaked pillow.