The recorder's red light was motionless.

"I can do this." The young woman coached herself. "I can do this...," she muttered ruefully, dark eyes sidling over to the glossy paper with its bright red insignia within reach. Within touching distance of her dreams. "I can...I think." Doubt had never been farthest from her mind until that moment. The world felt like it had tipped its axis for her only a day ago.

Doubt was not a word in Julia Walker's vocabulary.

Big words were.

Those that dealt with science, with things of high intelligence.

But, things of emotion, those were different things indeed than what she was accustomed to. Without the strictest of warnings from her razor-sharp mind, her thoughts lapsed to the day before - that name - his name. Oh, Alan. Alan. Alan, why?

Alan, in his endearing yet big-bear clumsy way explaining the necessity for their attentions to shift focus.

She had known what was coming - call it the clichéd woman's intuition or the simple logic by which she guided her work ethic with. "It's not you, it's me." Alan was forming those words - thinking them, turning them over behind honest brown eyes. Julia could sincerely see he wanted to believe it was his fault they had come to this sorry impasse.

"It is you."

God, wouldn't it have been so easy to simply agree?

But, she hated failure and failure meant enduring the man's understanding of the simple phrase translated as it's really you, not me. It would be on her own terms, failure. She tried to save face; there would be other times, other men. Anyone but not Alan Farragut with his humbling, good-hearted nature.

No, Julia wouldn't let him win this time.

"I've received a job offer."

His mouth popped open; he blinked slowly in surprise. "Where?"

"I can't say." Evasive. She had seen it already, posted on a bulletin board. One of many flyers posted by companies during the career fair, hoping to score aspiring graduate students. Alan's expression took on a skeptical look. "You're a terrible liar, Jules."

Jules. Her nickname. She winced internally, hoping against hope her pain didn't show.

"So, are you, Alan." Julia said flatly, brushing past his taller form. Her plain, unadorned fingers closed upon the crinkled flyer among many, seeking refuge from his prying eyes. The words innovation and taped recording stood out. Different. Different was good.

"Is this the end?" He asked with the slightest edge of wistful what-might-have-beens.

"It's certainly not the beginning." She quipped with forced cheer, retreating up the hallway. Distance, she would concede, looking at it as lost ground. Alan surveyed her with sadness; she wanted to believe regret, was that for vanity's sake?

"Jules - "

She waited for more, for the sentence to break her pride. For the shimmering promise of might have beens to become glowing possibilities again. Alan seemed to sense it as well. Their eyes met, again that tug, connection between them. But, he was the one to look away from the intensity in her gaze.

"I wish you well." He whispered in that quiet voice of his.

"Thanks." Defeat was a bitter pill to swallow.

The recorder wouldn't wait forever.

Julia rolled the cursor over to the record button. The computer screen flashed from black stasis to a reflection of a thin young woman clad in yoga pants and a cream-colored sweater sitting on a neatly made bed. Straight black hair was twisted back from her face into a high ponytail, her eyes were downcast, her demeanor exuded hidden strength. She needed that strength now.

She took a deep breath.

Tossed her shoulders back and forced a smile to her lips.

The record light flashed red once, then green.

"Hi, I'm Julia Walker...," she spoke to the camera's eye as she would to a person whose face she had never seen before. Focused on her good points, her strengths, her education - mustn't forget that. Her record was fairly impressive even more so coming from the daughter of a mother whose work was still highly praised in some circles.

The recorder's light blinked.

Julia stopped her rambling.

"In short," she licked her lips nervously, her gaze dropping to her taut hands interlocked upon her lap. This was the hardest. Pleading. Julia didn't plead. "I would - " her voice wobbled on an expressive high note. "-would like to work for the Ilaria Corporation. .. Please hire me, Dr. Hatake."

- TBC

Disclaimer: Helix belongs to SyFy, I just play in their sandbox

AN: I love this show! And AUs :) (I could be wrong on a few things like Alan's eye color, just can't remember right now.

Probably inspired by SyFy's Access Granted ;)

No flames, haters or spammers!

Reviews loved :)