When City of Heavenly Fire comes out, I think we all know who'd better get back together.
Every time he picks up the phone, he hesitates. Every single time.
And then he dials the number. His fingers always shake slightly, but he still manages it. He'd know that number in his sleep, carry it with him anywhere.
He couldn't forget it if he tried.
And the phone rings.
There's always that moment, when the phone rings-that moment of chewing his lip, heart racing fast, sweat beading on his skin. He's rung this number too many times to count, waited for that voice more times than he can remember-but it's different now. It's all different now.
Alec has never heard of any Shadowhunter turning back time, but for once, he deeply wishes the Nephilim could do magic. Could turn back the hours, the days, the weeks, so that he could never speak to Camille Belcourt, never listen to the offers she made.
But warlocks do magic. And some warlocks are tired of being pet warlocks.
Alec bites his lip and tries to push away the memory. Magnus' eyes, staring at him. That wondering hurt in his expression when he had asked Alec why. How.
Questions Alec himself didn't have the answer for.
He always wished he'd begged harder for a second chance-wished he'd got down on his knees and pleaded with Magnus. He wouldn't have cared if they were alone or if the room was filled with people, wouldn't have cared if the gesture was private or if the entire world was granted a viewing-if it meant Magnus would look back at him.
Ring, ring. The first ring. Alec digs his teeth into his lip and waits. And waits.
Memories teem through his head with each ring.
Ring, ring.
Magnus' mouth in their first kiss, hot and open and wet and better than Alec had imagined anything ever to be, breath on his skin, hands in his hair. Magnus' eyes, glinting as they watched him, smeared with eyeshadow that glittered with every blink. Magnus' voice in Idris, telling him the truth.
You stupid Nephilim. Why else am I here?
Ring, ring.
He remembers the stab of jealousy when he heard the word "girlfriend" on Magnus' lips, when he saw the way he stared at Camille, as if he couldn't quite believe she was here. He feels all over again the way he felt when she promised him there was a way to remove Magnus' immortality-as if the world were falling under his feet, and he's not entirely sure if that's good or bad.
I'm tired of you only wanting me around when you need something.
Alec bites his lip as the phone rings for the third time. Magnus will pick up soon.
Alec doesn't know what he'll do if Magnus ever learns to get to the phone more quickly.
Ring, ring.
Their last kiss, tasting of sorrow and cracks, and heartbreak and a soft, soft, devastating sweetness. The sight of Magnus walking away from him. Magnus' last words echoing in his ears.
I'm tired of being their pet warlock.
The silent sound of something shattering between them, as surely and silently as a dying breath, a fluttering wing.
Ring, ring.
There's a second, a second where Alec waits, a second of frantic anticipation-
And then he slams down the phone, before he can hear that voice, before he can feel that ripping sensation through his chest, before his mind can fill with Magnus' face.
But even with the phone slammed down, even with the call cut off, he can still see the warlock's eyes. Magnus still fills his mind, even when he sleeps.
Especially when he sleeps.
Alec's head tips back against the wall as he slides down it. His hands slide into his hair, and he clutches his head, wondering if it's possible to go mad with missing someone.
All he wants is to pick up the phone and call Magnus back. All he wants to do is tell him he's made the worst mistake of his life. His short, mortal life. And that he would never try to alter Magnus' immeasurably longer one.
All he wants to do is tell him he loves him.
But he can't.
Alec straightens up. He swallows. He turns away from the phone, ignores the prickling of tears at his eyes, the wrenching sensation in his chest, as if his heart is being slowly twisted in two.
Because, he wouldn't want to bother Magnus. He no longer expects him to pick up.
After all, why would he?
After all, Alec reminds himself fiercely as he walks away, teeth digging into his lip to hold back the hot tears, you can't hold onto someone forever. Not always.
Not when they're tired of being your pet warlock.
I'm supposed to be working on a longer fanfiction at the minute-but I've got to say, Malec fics have an annoying habit of dancing in my brain, wearing sparkly blue eyeshadow.