Sexcapade Similes

by MissRon

So, I have no qualms saying that I DETESTED the last few books in the SVM series. My hatred for the author and the crap writing she pulled will be something I will complain about for years to come. I particularly HATED a certain description of love-making in the final book. What follows is the culmination of exhasution, frustration and a sarcastic wit. Enjoy!

Hey you! Yes you. You over there! Fanfiction writer. Have you been struggling with writing those climactic love scenes and coming up with romantic descriptions? Have you been finding that your writing has been lacking that little something extra to give it pizzazz? Well look no further! You too can now become a 'legitimate' author with Sexcapade Similes with CH. Who can forget that scene stealing line from Dead Ever After that involved seals? No-one! That's who. And that is the kind of notoriety you want. With Sexcapade Similes you too can now find that perfect line to grab you're readers attention. Don't believe me? Then just read examples from each letter of the alphabet below:

Arched together like Antelopes

Bounced together like Beavers

Crashed together like Crocodiles

Dragged against each other like Deer

Erotically cried out like Elephants

Flopped together like flounder

Ground together like gophers

Howled like a Hyena

Impishly nipped liked an Iguana

Jiggled together like Jellyfish

Kinkily swatted like a Kangaroo

Lazed together like Lizards

Massaged like a Millipede

As Natural as Numbats

Oozed together like Octopus

Pulsing together like Puffer Fish

Quivered together like Quail

Ravished like a Rabbit

Straddled like a Sheep

Tangled together like Termites

Undulated like Urchin

Vigorously struck like a viper

Went wild like Wildebeest

we were x-rated like Xenurine

Yielded like a Yabby

Zealous like a Zebra

But wait! Sexcapade Similes aren't confined to just the animal kingdom! No! With Sexcapade Similes you can also learn other sensual similes to stimulate your sex scene. Buy now and you too can learn how to uses phrases such as:

I felt as empty as a beer can on Superbowl Sunday

He licked me hungrily like ants swarmed on a lollipop

He thrust into me like a snake-hose in a u-bend

She was open to me like the back of a hospital gown

That's right, with Sexcapade Similes with CH, you will never again have to wrack your brain trying to think of that perfect description.

Buy today and we will throw in a copy of her second book, Muff-diving Metaphors! Don't wait as these will run out the door!