Just a silly crossover to pass the time. This chapter has sort of a story within a story moment. It was a bit tricky to write, but I hope it's easy enough to read.

Also, there might be things someone might consider spoilers for Star Trek: into darkness. If you haven't seen it, get up right now and go. Seriously. RIGHT NOW. GO.

The freak in (22)1b

Sheldon's log

Earth date 6/27/13

A man moved into the apartment building a week ago. He claims he's an actor by the name of Benedict Cumberbatch, but I can't believe any of it. It's all too... perfect. His voice, his mannerisms, his facial expressions, his career. I believe that he's an actor. Just more so than he lets on. I think he's smart and dangerous and none of my 'friends' will listen to me. They've all fallen for his charm or whatever other forms of mind-control he used on them. I can't blame them too much. I would've fallen under his control as well, if I was any less than the superior genius that I am.

So, if you're reading this, it's already too late. Benedict's true nature has been revealed and nothing can stop him from going through with his diabolical plans, whatever they may be. I will be recording his actions from the moment I met him so that maybe you might benefit from understanding how this has come to pass. Also, I'd like to point out that I told you so. I told you so. I told you so. I. Told. You. So.

It all started the day he moved in, last sunday. I had yet to come into direct contact, but that afternoon I had a run-in with Penny on the stairs. And, lovable gossipmonger that she is, told me all about her recent encounter with 'the new guy'. I'll recount it to you as I eidetic memory recalls it.

"Have you met the new guy in 1b?" She asked, breaking the pleasant silence as we ascended the stairs. I shook my head, knowing that once she gets started there's no way to stop her. "I helped him unpack a little this morning. He's such a sweet heart. At first he was a little reluctant to let me in, but I told him about how I helped my uncle jeff set up his barn and he let up.

" 'Well, they do say two heads are better than one.' He said in this really deep british accent. He has a gorgeous voice. 'Or in this case, four hands.' He winked as he tore open the nearest cardboard box. I could've swooned.

"We spent the next hour mostly just setting up furniture and unloading boxes. Then I found a human skull in one of them. I asked if it was his, just to make sure he wasn't a serial killer or something. It looked pretty real to me.

" 'Ah, yes. Friend of mine. Helped me get through a particularly difficult adaptation of 'Hamlet' back in London. Just leave him on the coffee table.' I could barely believe it. Tall, handsome and an actor. I thought I had died and was staring at an angel.

" 'Oh, you're an actor? so am I!' His mint green eyes brightened like a little boy finding his lost puppy.

" 'No kidding! Oh, this is fantastic. Any good roles?' He said as he pushed the last armchair into place. We bonded over the hardships of acting and tea. He's in the new Star Trek movie, isn't that great? He says he's the bad dude..." I swore the stairs got longer with every step we took, but still she rambled on.

While most of her ranting was meaningless drivel, some of it set off some major red lights.

1) The human skull. He refered to it as 'friend' and 'he'. These can not be good signs.

2) Penny liked him. Based on past experience, men that Penny feels attracted to are liars, bodybuilders, idiots or some awful combination of the above. (Except for Leonard. [Actually, never mind about Leonard. I don't think Penny was ever actually attracted to him.]) So at best, we have a lying idiot. At worst, we have a deceptive hulk.

3) The villain in Star Trek into darkness is rumored to be Khan. Who was originally played by Ricardo Montalban. Who was a full-blooded mexican. Casting Khan as a british man in the new movie would be outright disregard for the original and will not be forgiven.*

Luckily, for the sake of my sanity, I did not get the pleasure of meeting him until yesterday. Leonard and I had been coming home from the comic book store when we heard what sounded like an explosion from what we later found to be Benedicts apartment. Leonard insisted that we check it out, even though I told him that it was probably just some inconsiderate idiot watching an action movie on full blast. His knightly sense of chivalry may be admirable at times, but it mostly just gets in the way.

"Hey, a-are you alright in there?" He squeaked, rapping on the door nervously. I noticed that the resident had scrawled the number twenty two beside the apartment number 1b. I think it might've been gang code or something. Perhaps a marker so his henchmen could find him.

"Yes, yes. Everything's fine. That was supposed to happen." The resident assured us. We were just about to walk away when a high-pitched sizzle seeped through the door. "That, however, is not! Stand clear of the door!" There were a few dull thuds and a crash followed by a six-foot man in a dressing gown and plastic safety googles bursting through the door. He leaned against the closed door, gasping. That is when it became obvious that we had a deceptive hulk on our hands.

"...What was that?" Leonard asked, breaking the shocked silence.

"Oh, just a... chemical reaction gone awry." He tore the googles from his head and shook out his curls like a model for a hair dye commercial. "Benedict Cumberbatch. Nice to meet you." I looked back up at the apartment number while Leonard stumbled through his own introductions and decided something was definitely wrong. What's an actor doing coducting experiments with explosive chemicals?

"...Penny told me you were an actor." I eyed him suspiciously but he seemed uneffected.

"It's a hobby." He pulled his lips into what people would call a winning smile. "Say, my flat is going to need some time to... air out. Would you mind terribly if I... came up to your place for tea?"

My hair-brained friend welcomed him into our apartment with a friendly smile and enthusiastic chatter. Whenever I tried to subtly protest he'd make up some excuse like 'this is a great opportunity to get to know the neighbors!' and 'he could be a great ally!'. I tried to make him see that something's very very wrong with him and even if we did befriend him, we don't have any extra seats for new friends and we'd have to eliminate a current friend. Howard may be the weakest link and thus the most exchangable, but I don't think another actor would be much of an upgrade.

Despite my subtle protests, he was let into our home and we chatted as is the custom. I tried to shake what I then thought as paranoia but now know to be common sense. Yet, I couldn't help but notice that Benedict took an unusual interest in our lives and kept from saying much at all about his own. I believe he might be keeping secrets.

The most damning detail was that, as he was leaving our apartment an hour later, he said the following as a farewell.

"Also, If anyone by the name of Mycroft Holmes, Jim or James Moriarty, Richard Brook, Ricky Waters, Sebastian Moran, Greg Lestrade, Irene Adler, or The Woman come asking for me or anyone of my description, you don't anything. Clear?"

If those aren't the words of a criminal mastermind with many enemies, I don't know what is.

*These are not my own opinions, just what I would assume Sheldon would think on the matter. Benedict is amazing in Star Trek (of course he is. He always is). And casting a white dude was actually a good decision, considering that Khan is literally a crash-a-ship-into-a-building terrorist. Casting anyone of ethnic descent would have the possibility of reinforcing the belief that all foreigners areout to get us or some crap like that.