--Disclaimer: Don't own YYH, or The Reason, or Hoobastank.
Hiei finally tells Yukina the truth in a letter (in which I included the lyrics to The Reason by Hoobastank) before he has to leave on a dangerous mission. Please review!!--
He slid silently into the room. His dark form moved noiselessly to her bedside. His expression softened at the sight of her sleeping form, so peaceful, gentle. He greatly regretted what he had to do, how he had to do it. But he had no choice. He had to tell her before it was too late. Before he went on the almost impossible mission ahead of him, one from which he was sure he would never return.
The paper rustled in his hand as he clenched his fist slightly. Yes, this was the only way. He set the paper on her bedside table. Then he reached for the object around his neck and pulled it off. He ran his fingers over the smooth object, and then set it down on top of the paper.
A warm hand gently stroked her face. Soft, warm lips brushed against her cheek, hesitantly, but lovingly.
He straightened up. Something wet ran down his cheek. He caught it in his hand before it fell to the floor. It was hard, smooth, colored red and crusted in black. His first tear. He placed it also on the table. Whispering the words, "I love you," he was gone.
Yukina awoke to an open window, the curtains blowing slightly in the soft breeze. Funny, she didn't remember leaving the window open. She slid out of bed and put a robe over her shoulders.
The ice maiden walked over to the window and looked out into the clear night sky. her eyes locked with the crimson ones of a dark figure. What? Hiei? she thought. But she blinked, and the figure was gone. "I must be imagining things," she said to herself. She closed the window and went back to her bed. Then she spotted some items lying on her bedside table. She turned on a lamp and studied the objects. Two were gems, perfectly round. "Tear Gems!" she gasped.
Yukina grabbed them off the table and turned them over in her hands. The first looked old, battered, but still beautiful blue. The other was new, fresh, like it had just recently been made. It was black crusted, but through the black she could see shining ruby red. At once she knew that these were the Gems of her only relatives, the blue one her mother's, and the red and black one her brother's.
The koorime stared at the newer of the two, obviously the first her brother had ever cried, it was so perfect. Black and red..."Red like Hiei's eyes," she murmured. Her eyes grew wide. They shot to the other item on the table, a single folded piece of paper. She snatched it and unfolded it. Words were written in handwriting slightly sloppy, like it had taken much concentration to write, but looking very sincere. Gasping softly, she read:
Dear Yukina, the brightest among the stars.
-I'm not a perfect person.
There's many things I wish I didn't do.-
I'm writing to you now to tell you the truth.
-But I continue learning.
I never meant to do those things to you.-
I've put it off for so long. But now I must tell you.
-And so I have to say before I go.
That I just want you to know.-
I am your brother.
-I've found a reason for me.
To change who I used to be.-
I'm sorry I never told you.
-A reason to start over new.
And the reason is you.-
I just wanted to keep you from getting hurt.
-I'm sorry that I hurt you.
It's something I must live with every day.-
But now I see that the thing that hurt you most was me.
-And all the pain I put you through.
I wish that I could take it all away.-
I failed to tell you the truth, even when I knew you were searching for your brother.
-And be the one who catches all your tears.
That's why I need you to hear.-
I only wanted to protect you.
-I've found a reason for me.
To change who I used to be.-
I am a rouge, a convicted criminal.
-A reason to start over new.
And the reason is you.-
I didn't think you would be happy to know that.
-And the reason is you.-
I just wanted you to be happy.
-And the reason is you.-
-----FlashbacK-----
A soft hand grabbed my arm and held it fast. I looked up to find Yukina, my sister, with tears in her eyes. "Are you crazy?! Is this not the man who tormented you?!" I yelled, blinded by rage. "He is. But I have to bear that. Please. No more. Not on my account. He will never learn anything from death. Hasn't there been enough pain because of me? No more," she begged. Tears flowed down her face and dropped to the floor as perfect gems. Instantly the rage at Terukane left me. "Understood. I won't make you cry," I said. "He's too worthless for that." I dropped the gambler's ugly form. "You...seem familiar. Who are you?" she asked. My eyes widened. All I wanted to do was tell her, but I couldn't, for her sake as well as mine. I sighed and closed my eyes. "No one. Just...a member...of the team."
-----End flashbacK-----
-And the reason is you.-
I wanted so much to tell you, but I was afraid of rejection.
-I'm not a perfect person.
I never meant to do those things to you.-
I must leave you now.
-And so I have to say before I go.
That I just want you to know.-
I had to tell you before I left.
-I've found a reason for me.
To change who I used to be.-
You are everything to me.
-A reason to start over new.
And the reason is you.-
You are the reason my life has a purpose.
-I've found a reason to show.
A side of me you didn't know.-
You are who I fight for, who I'd die for.
-A reason for all that I do.-
-----FlashbacK-----
"Are you sure you can withstand the pain?" Shigure asked without even turning to face me. Without a sound, I drew my sword. Shigure turned just in time to see me pierce straight through my own hand. He saw my face distort in pain, but not a sound escaped my lips. He smirked. "I will give you what you want. But as your payment, you must never tell the girl the truth." I nodded, wiped my own blood on my cloak, and sheathed my sword. "You'll be wanting something for that," he said, and threw me a damp cloth. I tied it around my wounded hand and followed him to the operation table.
-----End flashbacK-----
-And the reason is you.-
Goodbye, sweet sister. You will always be in my dreams.
Yukina stared in awe at the letter. Hiei...her brother. The quiet one. The one with the gifted eyes. Was her brother. How did she not see? He had always been there for her, ready to protect her. He was the first to get to her evil captor Terukane. He had saved her from a collapsing wall at the Dark Tournament. He would brush it off like it was nothing, but really he cared.
How could she have been so blind?! Her brother, her only living relative, had been right in front of her eyes the whole time! And now he was going off to who-knows-where on a mission he might never return from. Tears ran down her cheeks, rolled off the bed, clacked to the floor as hard Gems. Useless Gems. They couldn't change the past. They couldn't bring him back. A soft breeze blew gently around her face, comforting her a little. Wait...a breeze? Didn't she just...
"Please don't cry for me," said a voice, serious but gentle. Yukina looked up in shock. There, in the window, stood her brother. He stepped down from the sill. "I'm not worth your tears."
"Hiei," the koorime whispered. Before the fire youkai knew what was happening, her arms were around his neck, and she was crying into his cloak. "You're my brother," she sobbed. "At last I know. I'm sorry I didn't figure it out. I should have known..."
Hiei hesitantly put his arms around her back. "Shh," he soothed. "Please, don't cry. The fault is not yours. I should have told you the truth from the start. I didn't mean for this to happen. I wanted you to be happy, but instead I just gave you more pain. I didn't think you would be happy to know who I was. You already knew my crimes, and I didn't think you would want a felon for a brother. I'm sorry I've caused you so much grief."
"Hiei, I would have loved you no matter what you had done in the past. That's what family is for, unconditional love," Yukina said. She straightened up to look her brother in the eye, and he gently brushed the last tear off her cheek. "But I understand why you didn't tell me, and you don't have to apologize. I probably would have done the same. So don't cry for me, either, for you have nothing to mourn." Hiei nodded, and brother and sister embraced.
The only sound that could be heard was the clock in the hall chiming midnight. "My time grows short," Hiei murmured. "I must go." Yukina nodded.
Then she ran to her nightstand and opened a drawer. She dug to the bottom of the drawer, opened a secret compartment, and pulled something out. She fastened it to a string and placed it around her brother's neck. "This is my first Tear Gem," she said, "and as such my most perfect. I want you to have it, just as you have given me yours."
Hiei fingered the green gem. "Thank you." He stepped up onto the window sill. "Please be careful," Yukina said. Hiei nodded. "I will." "I dislike goodbyes, so I shall say until we meet again. I love you, Hiei." Her brother smiled genuinely for the first time. "And I love you, sister. Yukina."
Then he was gone, the only trace of his presence an after image, but that too disappeared, leaving the ice maiden alone. She went back to bed, and all through the night the image of her brother's smile sweetened her dreams.
-----Two years lateR-----
Yukina stood at her window, absentmindedly fingering the Tear Gem around her neck. Her thoughts drifted as they so often did to her brother. It had been two full years, and still he hadn't returned. Every time Kurama or one of the others would come to visit, she would ask after him. But every time they had no news for her.
She had even gone to the ruler of Spirit World many times, but not even he had received word from the fire demon. The problems Koenma had faced in the past had ceased, but he couldn't tell if it was a victory by Hiei or if the criminals had just disbanded and abandoned their goals. Even if Hiei had been victorious, the victory might have cost him his life.
Kuwabara thought him dead, and he was all the happier, or so it seemed. He was getting very jealous and suspicious with his love inquiring about the shrimp every time he would go to see her. Still, deep in his heart he was worried about his teammate.
Yusuke put on a brave face and took amusement in Hiei's disappearance. He joked that Hiei had won, and then vanished to keep the worthless humans from tracking him down again.
Kurama laughed at Yusuke's jokes and Kuwabara's jealousy. He was seemingly calm, pretending that he knew Hiei would soon return in victory and laugh at the petty concern displayed by his team. Still, the wheels turned continuously in his mind. Really he was sick with worry about the ruthless fire demon he had befriended.
But of course Yukina was the most concerned of all. He was, after all, her only brother. So there she stood, day after day, at her bedroom window, awaiting his return. And every night she went to sleep disappointed. But every morning there she was again. She never gave up hope.
One summer day, Kurama came to visit. She had cheerful conversation with him for a while, but then the talk turned again to her brother. "He will be back, I'm sure of it," Kurama said, smiling. "I know Hiei, and he isn't one to die that easily. Especially if he knew that you are there with him in spirit, as I know you are. You give him strength, Yukina, a will to live. As long as you're on his side he is invincible."
Yukina climbed the staircase to her room with those words in mind. I am on your side, Hiei, and I always will be.
She opened her bedroom door and was greeted by a warm breeze. Looks like I left the window open again, she thought. She walked over and stared out, fingering the Gem around her neck, thinking of her brother. He will come back. I know it.
"Are you so sure?" asked a harsh voice. Yukina gasped and spun around. Lying on her bed was a dark figure, cloaked and hooded. "Who-who are you?" she asked. "Don't you know?" it replied. She shook her head. It sighed and lifted its hands to its hood. "I would think you would recognize me by now."
Yukina gasped as the hood fell to the figure's shoulders. It was her brother, but he was...different. His crimson eyes reflected much suffering and death, a feature they had lost over the years serving with the Reikai Tentai. His features were battle hardened and worn. His Jagan glowed wearily, his bandanna lost. In his right earlobe was a hole, and from it hung a distinct earring, a mark of capture.
"It's good to see you, too," he said tonelessly. Then Hiei closed his eyes and let his head fall against the pillow. Yukina could now sense that he was very weak. She rushed over to him, and using her special powers, located the sources of his weakness. His left arm felt as if it had been broken, and time alone had healed it. Taking off his cloak, she discovered that he was very thin. He had numerous slashes in his chest and sides, and bruises hinted that he had been beaten.
How did this happen? No matter. She would have him talk later. Right now he needed to rest, and she needed to heal him. As she was about to, he caught her arm. "Don't," Hiei said, all strength gone from his usually powerful voice. "Save your energy. I'll survive." He looked into her eyes. "I only need to hibernate for a while."
Then he smiled. "Just make sure you find a safe place for my body where it won't get stepped on." Yukina nodded. She hugged him, and tears of joy ran down her face. "I missed you, Hiei." The fire youkai smiled. "And I you, Yukina."
The ice maiden held her brother close, and he fell asleep in her arms.
-And the reason is you.-