Mother. Why are you doing this to me?
Mother. Why do you hate me?
Mother. What have I done wrong?
What have we done wrong?
Mother. I'm confused.
Mother. I'm scared.
Mother. What am I?
Mother. What have you made me?
Mother. I want to go home.
Mother. I don't like it here.
I don't like it with you.
Mother. I don't understand you.
Mother. Who are you?
Mother. It's like I don't know you.
Mother. It's like you're a monster.
Mother. I feel like I should hate you.
But I can't.
Because, Mother, I love you.
Mother. I love you.
And I don't know why.
The sound of the door handle turning makes me drop my quill in fear. I turn round in my chair to face the door and by instinct, raise my arm, power already building.
He walks in through the door, a sack of food in hand. He drops it at my shocked expression and holds his hands up to console me. 'Hey,' he whispers. 'It's only me. It's just me. It's okay.'
He creeps forward slowly, trying not to alarm me any further. My hand lowers and I see the relieved expression lining his features.
'We're okay, Regina,' he whispers again, reaching me. He pulls me up and into a hug.
I cling to him, aghast that this fear is still eating away at me. I cling to him, breathe him in. 'I love you, Daniel,' I murmur, my arms locking behind his neck.
He kisses my cheek, my hair, my temple. 'I love you too,' is his response, and though it is so simple, it lights something warm within my soul. It puts me at peace with myself and the fear dies down, if only a little.
He holds me at arm's length, his hands on my shoulders. He smiles. 'Okay?' he asks me.
I nod. 'Yes. I'm okay.'
That's when he sees the page on my desk. His eyebrows knit together as he reads and he extends his hand to pick it up.
'You wrote this?' he asks as he finishes.
'Yes, I—that's the reason I was scared when the door started to open,' I mumble.
He looks at me in confusion for a full ten seconds before realisation dawns upon him.
'Oh! You were afraid that Cora would come through and read it.'
'Yes! I don't know why! I shouldn't be scared of her! She's my mother!' I rant.
'Hey, hey, hey!' Daniel holds my hands and guides me onto our sofa. 'Shh. It's okay. It's okay to be scared, Regina. She treated you terribly. She put that fright inside you. And I'm going to try my hardest to get it out again.'
'I know but—'
'Regina,' Daniel says firmly. I look at him expectantly. 'We're two and a half villages away from her. We've told no one where we are or who we are. We chose this log cabin because it was tucked away from all the commotion of the village. She won't find us. I promise you.'
I thread my fingers through his, sighing. 'Okay,' I breathe. 'You're right.'
Something else sets itself into my mind. 'Are you happy here?' I ask him, looking into his hazel eyes. 'In this village?'
He smiles. 'I don't care where we are as long as I'm with you. You're my home.'
I beam. He squeezes my hand.
'But I haven't slept properly in so long. Every time I try, she's there, scolding me, hurting me!' I exclaim suddenly.
Daniel takes me in his arms and I curl up into a ball, listening to his heartbeat. 'It'll go away eventually. And if it doesn't, you know I'm here to look after you. I'll be here when you wake in a sweat, I'll be here to make the fear go away, if only for a little while.'
I grin and the tears finally fall. Daniel reaches out a hand and catches them as I whisper, 'I love you.'
He leans back until his head meets the armrest of the sofa; until we're lying together on the couch. 'Close your eyes, Regina. Try to sleep,' he whispers as he tightens his hold on me.
I do as he asks and, like a miracle, my mother doesn't visit me in my nightmares. She lets me rest.
And that's why I love her.
Just—two words for this: Stable Queen. That's all I'm gonna say. Stable Queen.
