Sian stood looking at herself in the mirror; it had been a tough few weeks. She had recently been released from hospital after having an operation on her appendix. Not that she recalled much of the events leading up to her admission, during or really, much directly after the operation, but the sight upon her coming around of her girlfriends bloodshot red eyes and totally distraught expression was enough to pull her into reality quite quickly.
She loved her girlfriend, she had loved her when they were best friends and now it was even better, as they shared all the same things as before but were much more intimate as well. Not that they had done anything, yet, but the way they held hands, kissed and looked at each other made Sian happy beyond belief. So to say she was concerned about how Sophie appeared that day would be a huge understatement.
Sophie hadn't quite believed that Sian was ok; in fact she refused to let go of her hand or even take her eyes off her for a second for the rest of the day. She had to be forcefully removed from the room when visiting hours were over by her dad Kevin and a reluctant Rosie. Sian was pretty certain Kev gave her a funny sort of look when he left the room, and Rosie simply smiled at her, but Sian could see there was something behind Rosie's eyes, that something had happened that Sophie hadn't filled her in on yet. Sian wasn't too bothered, Soph would tell her when she was ready and she was certain Rosie would look after her little sister until Sian was ready to handle whatever was going on. Rosie was good like that lately and had become a real support after she had found out about them.
Sian was brought out of her thoughts by her phone ringing; she was lightly trailing her scar with her fingertips and suddenly hoped Sophie wouldn't be put off by it, scars were kind of ugly after all. She shook her head and dropped her shirt down and went over to her bed to pick up her phone. She smiled brightly as she saw Sophie's name on the display. "Hi babe" she answered cheerily.
"Hey yourself", came the reply; "are you all settled back in at your dads?"
"Yeh" Sian sighed as she sat on her bed, tucking her feet under her and leaning against the pillows. She wished Sophie was with her. "He's been quite weird actually. Fussing over me, making sure I'm ok. Dunno what the matter with him is".
"He almost lost his daughter that's what the matter with him is" Sophie replied, trying to reiterate to Sian how serious the matter was. No matter how much Sophie repeated it, Sian always brushed it off. It really annoyed Sophie, it had felt like she was losing a part of her own soul while Sian was comatose; it was really something she hated to think about, let alone all what else went on! Another time, she thought. "If I was there, I'd be doing the exact same thing".
Sian pouted, "why aren't you here?" her tone was playful. "Me dads out for the day, you could be lying here on the bed with me".
"Don't tempt me".
"Aw c'mon Soph!" Sian grinned, knowing that if she played her girlfriend the right way, she could get anything she wanted. And that was her Soph with her. Five minutes ago.
"You know I'd be there in a shot, I'm just ringing cuz I wanted to hear your voice and make sure you're ok. You've only just come out of hospital".
"Yeah and I am okay. Just tired and bored and in need of some TLC". Sian paused for emphasis and added a plea to her tone, "I need you Soph".
Sophie let out a sigh and smiled to herself, thinking back.. Sian knew just how to push her buttons…
Not long after they'd first got together, Sian had been round at Soph's and they were watching a film on the sofa in the living room. Well, a film was on but they weren't really watching it. They had been making out, gently at first but then more passionately. Fingers were roaming over skin, teasing and caressing and Sian had been pushed right up against Sophie, pinning her to the sofa. Sian had been lightly brushing her thumb up and down Sophie's arm giving her goose pimples in a way that made her stomach feel funny, when Kevin and Rosie walked through the door. They jumped apart and pretended to be deeply engrossed in the film, at complete opposite ends of the sofa. Kevin gave them a weird look as Sophie refused to turn her head to acknowledge him and Sian started to twirl her hair between her fingers. Kev continued on into the kitchen and Rosie, who hadn't long found out about her sisters new relationship leaned over the sofa between them and whispered;
"Slight overkill girls" she paused, "I've never seen you two sit together without some part of you touching". She rolled her eyes. " Talk about obvious".
There was a glint in Rosie's eye as she stood up and followed her dad into the kitchen. Sian was grinning like a Cheshire cat, still twirling her hair between her fingers however now somewhat more seductively as she looked at Sophie, seeming to bounce off the excitement of almost getting caught.
"It's not funny", Sophie said under her breath.
"I'm not laughing" Sian shot back, trying to swallow an emerging giggle.
Sophie slapped Sian's leg as she inched closer on the sofa; Sian immediately swung her legs up onto Sophie's lap as they half snuggled into each other, just as they had when they were best friends. "I mean it Sian, that was too close".
"Babe don't worry about it, nothing happened-"
"and don't call me babe when me dads about", Sophie was wide-eyed, totally serious in her concern.
Sian however, was enjoying winding her girlfriend up. She began to rub her toes along the inside of Sophie's thigh, tantalizingly slowly.
Sophie immediately looked down at Sian's foot then pulled her eyes up to meet Sian's seductive gaze, "what are you doing?" Sophie breathed, quite nervous over the possible answer.
Sian was now leaning her head on her hand and was regarding Sophie with a suggestive sideways glance. "Becoming more familiar with you on the sofa", she said, pausing for emphasis; "don't you like it?"
Sophie's breathing had become a little ragged, she loved the way Sian touched her, however this was new. In a very good way. But not with her dad and sister in the other room, a room that didn't even have a door. Sophie swallowed, hard. "Liking it isn't the problem" she sighed.
Sian reached over and entwined her fingers with Sophie's, "then what is?"
Sophie looked at Sian in a silent reply. She felt like a deer in headlights. She wanted her, more than anything, but it scared her. She didn't really know what she was doing after all, Sian had way more experience and she didn't want to disappoint her. Not that she thought she would, but there was always that annoying voice in the back of her head telling her what might happen if things didn't go perfectly.
Sian started rubbing her thumb over Sophie's wrist which brought her away from her doubting mind, "Maybe we should go to your room", Sian started, "if privacy is what you're worried about".
Sophie looked at her girlfriend; she had a cheeky smile that made her seem all the more beautiful, if that was even possible. Sian sat forward and put her free hand on Sophie's knee and squeezed it lovingly, as if to reassure her, and in that moment Sophie knew. She just knew that Sian had been playing her, teasing her on purpose, that if Sophie didn't want to go upstairs, that would be fine and if they did and nothing happened, that would be fine too. Sian giggled and dipped her head in the cute, adorable way that she always did and pulled her long blond hair away from her face and smoothed it over the back of her neck. Just then Sophie decided that Sian had won. Sian wanted to go upstairs; therefore that was where they would go.
"Ok" Sophie smiled, "let's go upstairs". Sian would always win. And Sophie suspected Sian knew it.
Sophie grabbed Sian's hand back and lead them upstairs.
Sian knew exactly how to push her buttons.
"Ok babe" Sophie sighed, coming back to the phone conversation. It wasn't that she didn't want to see her girlfriend, she just found it annoying how easily Sian could get her to do anything. "I'll be round, in a matter of seconds".
"Seconds?" Sian was surprised, especially when she heard her doorbell ring. "What? That's not you".
"Guess you'll have to answer it to find out". Sophie smiled and hung up the phone. So what if Sian could get her to do anything.. so be it. But Sophie was the best one at surprises.
The door flung open and Sian was literally squealing. She threw her arms around Sophie and enveloped her in a bear hug and dragged her inside. Sian couldn't believe it.
"Ohmygod Soph!" she exclaimed as she let her go. "As if you were here the whole time and you let me beg you to come round". Sian slapped Sophie's arm playfully, then let her hand slide down Sophie's arm and took her hand in her own. She pouted a little, "not fair".
Sophie was grinning, "Sorry babe, too easy", she laughed. "Plus you always think you're being sneaky, getting me to do stuff", Sophie shuffled a little, moving her shoulders slightly from side to side to pull off the cute effect, "I can be sneaky too", she grinned.
"Ok", Sian's heart did a flip, Soph sure did know how to make her happy, and she always knew exactly what she needed. Queue her being there, right then. "Little Miss. Sneaky, you wanna come upstairs?"
Sophie grinned and bit her bottom lip, "Yeah, whatever you want".
Sian lay on her bed and Sophie sat next to her. Sian grabbed Sophie's hand and pulled her down next to her. Sophie propped her head up on her hand and regarded Sian, so happy she was alive and even happier that the whole ordeal was done with.
"I was so scared, you know". Sophie breathed, looking down at the duvet she was lying on.
Sian looked at Sophie. She had kind of not been talking about it on purpose, it must have been hell for Soph, and God knows what she would of done if it had been Sophie ill in hospital. Clearly Sophie needed to talk about it without Sian brushing it off and changing the subject. Now was that time. Sian stroked the top of Sophie's thigh that was pressed up against her side and hooked it up over her leg. She rubbed her foot against Sophie's that was now resting between her feet. She felt Sophie's toes move against her heel.
"Babe I'm here", Sian said softly.
Sophie's eyes met hers. They were sad. "You nearly weren't". It was said with such sorrow that it literally made Sian's heart ache.
Sian's brow furrowed as she tried to push herself even closer into Sophie in an immediate attempt at support. She had a feeling no matter what she tried she would never be able to replace whatever Sophie had lost over those few days. The emotion was far too raw. However Sian would never stop trying. "I'm sorry honey. I promise not to put you through that again".
Sophie smiled faintly. "I'm not blaming you. It's not your fault you got ill".
"I know but", Sian sighed, "I feel bad for making you hurt that much".
Sophie smiled that little bit wider and leaned that little bit harder into Sian's side. Her arm sneaked its way across Sian's stomach. "I'm just so glad you're ok. I don't think I could of handled anything happening to you. I love you, you know".
Sian beamed at that. She never tired of hearing it. "I love you too".
Sophie's fingers were playing with the hem of Sian's shirt and it had started to rise up a little revealing the line of her scar. Sophie's eyes focused on it. "Does it hurt?"
Sian got a little self-conscious and tried to wriggle out of the reveal but Sophie wasn't letting her. "A little" Sian replied.
"Babe you don't have to hide it-"
"It's ugly".
Sophie put her hand on Sian's hip to pin her to the bed. She looked Sian straight in the eye. "Nothing about you is ugly". Sophie began to snake her fingers lightly over the scar, gently trying to rub it better. She was nervous as she didn't want to cause Sian any pain.
Sian rolled her eyes, relaxing a little at the touch. "You're bias".
Sophie tilted her head, quietly examining the scar. She found it sexy. "Can I touch it?"
Sophie had stopped her fingers just over Sian's scar and they hovered there gently, waiting for Sian's reply. Sian had momentarily stopped breathing and immediately focused on Sophie's eyes. Sian's mouth was open slightly; she really wasn't expecting Soph to say that and she was a little unprepared. Sophie's eyes were half-lided, inviting a response.
Sian smirked a little bit, suddenly feeling quite playful herself. "You can touch whatever you like" she grinned. Game on.
Sophie held her gaze for a few moments as a wide grin gradually spread across her face; that had cheered her up no end! Sophie absolutely loved playful Sian; she was such a flirt and Sophie couldn't get enough of her in this mood. All Sophie could manage was a gentle "hmmph" as she giggled and cleared her throat, dipping her head which caused her hair to fall forwards over her face. Sophie was sure she had turned a slight shade of red, she couldn't help the places her mind went when Sian was playing with her.
Sian was grinning as well, Sophie was well easy to embarrass; but even so she was still weary of her scar. She wasn't sure what Sophie thought of it and she was using the situation to fake some confidence. "Really though", Sian started, "it's not nice, is it?" she asked quietly.
"Sian, baby", Sophie sighed as she lowered herself a little down Sian's body. "I love every inch of you, besides, scars are hot". Sophie moved her hand further under Sian's shirt and started to gently pull it up over her scar.
"I'm going to have it forever" Sian complained, kind of half-heartedly as she was now enjoying the attention and the feeling of Sophie's fingers on her. She was also wondering what Soph was intending on doing as she was going, you know, down there a bit. The thought caused Sian to catch her breath in her throat.
"Good, well. Then I can play with it forever".
Sian was glued to the bed. This was hot. Sophie's light touches were sparking something within her. Sian was usually the overly flirtatious one; but since that episode on the sofa at the Webster's that ended with them upstairs Sophie had suddenly become a lot more forward. It was a good thing; Sian liked taking the lead but even so, she wasn't experienced with girls. Really, she didn't have the first clue. So whenever Soph wanted to start things off, Sian absolutely loved it. If it hadn't of been for Rosie interrupting them the last time, Sian was convinced they would have gone all the way. Sophie was definitely taking Sian to places she had never been before. Sophie had taken her time, gently touching and kissing Sian's body; finding areas that drove her insane and paying them particular attention. Like just above her hip bone, Sian loved it when Sophie kissed her there. And since then, they hadn't had the opportunity to be alone what with the surgery and all. Rosie certainly picked her moments; just as Sophie was unbuttoning Sian's jeans was definitely not the time for her to barge in and announce dinner was done. At least they both still had their bras on, and on reflection, at least it was Rosie and not Kevin. Thank God for small mercies. But all the same Sian was mad at her girlfriends older sister; Sian was so turned on that evening, it took literally ages for her to settle down. And it didn't help that all Sophie could do was smirk at her from across the dinner table. Alright it may have been funny but Sophie was not being supportive; and Sian did not see why she had to put up with raised-eyebrow looks from Rosie all evening and Kevin wondering what the hell was going on. Sian had seriously put Soph through the ringer for that awkward evening. Not one kiss for an entire day. Lesson learned.
Sian was pulled out of her reverie as Sophie began trailing feather-light kisses along her scar, which just so happened to be just above Sian's hip and was inwardly driving her crazy. And Sophie knew it. Sian had her eyes closed and her head back. She bit down on her bottom lip and couldn't help the elicit moan that escaped. Sophie paused briefly, that was a noise she hadn't heard before. She definitely wanted to hear more. Sophie moved her hand to Sian's other hip and inched it upwards, exposing her abs completely. Sophie started caressing Sian's ribs and slowly moved up to the underside of her breast, and then ever so lightly rubbed her thumb over Sian's material covered nipple. As she did so, Sophie continued to kiss along Sian's scar, moving her way towards Sian's naval.
Sian's breathing was deep, her eyes were still closed and she was making, in Sophie's opinion the most delectable moans and groans. Sian had risen up on her elbows which allowed her to push her body towards Sophie as she touched and kissed her. She wanted as much contact as possible, and as Sophie moved her way across Sian's body, Sophie pushed her thigh between Sian's legs, leaning most of her weight on it as she did so. Sian immediately shuffled down into the contact as she gasped her approval, feeling her desire climbing and wanting to pull Sophie even closer to her. She took the weight off her arms and grabbed the side of Sophie's leg, pushing Sophie's body onto hers. Sian then pushed her own leg up against Sophie's, pushing her thigh in between Sophie's legs causing her to momentarily stop what she was doing. The sensation engulfed Sophie making her snap her eyes shut, having to swallow the groan that had risen in her. Sophie was now resting on her one elbow hovering over Sian's chest. She was breathing heavily and opened her eyes that were heavily hooded with her own desire. Sian cupped Sophie's face and met her gaze, her mouth was slightly open to assist her now panting breaths. Sian had never felt like this in her life. She was on fire and covered in goose pimples, she had to know if Sophie was ready for this before her control dissipated altogether.
"Babe are you ok?" Sian asked, breathlessly.
Sophie looked into her girlfriends eyes. Sian was amazing. More than amazing. So gentle, and soft and she just felt so good! Sophie loved the way Sian touched her, kissed her, moved against her body and her touch, just like she was doing now. It was the best feeling in the world, to know Sian wanted her. Sian wanted Sophie's touch, Sophie's kisses and no one else's. She didn't really have any words to describe this moment. It felt so right. "Yeah". She nodded.
Sian took a breath, she needed this to come out right. Sian reached to Sophie's chain that was now resting on her own chest. Sian gripped it gently and almost stopped breathing, she needed to ask but wasn't sure of the answer, no matter how sure she was of Sophie. "What about this?"
Sophie looked down at her cross hidden in Sian's hand. The metaphor wasn't lost on her.
Sophie had already thought about this, months ago in fact, when she first realized she had fallen for her best friend and especially when Sian had come up and kissed her for the first time. When she was wearing Rosie's God awful bright red jacket and had gone giddy for the fact that Sian wanted her as much as she wanted Sian.
Sophie brought her eyes up to meet Sian's whose forehead was now furrowed with what appeared like panic. Sophie thought it was cute. She put her hand on Sian's shoulder and ran her fingers over her collar bone. Sian's chest rose up to her touch. Sian tried but just couldn't hold it in any longer, she felt like Sophie was taking hours. At this exact second in time Sophie's decision was the most important of Sian's life. "Soph…" she whispered.
Sophie spoke slowly and from the heart. "The church is about love. God, is about love. This, Sian, is about love. The church accepts all kinds of people, and if I hadn't of fallen totally and utterly crazy in love with you, I wouldn't be here, doing this, right now, with you". She took a breath, and cupped the side of Sian's face with her hand. "I want to be with you, and I want to share this with you, because you're amazing, Sian, you make me feel amazing", Sophie pushed her forehead to Sian's, "and I love you. Tell me you want me too".
Sian was so full of emotion she was close to tears. Her eyes were clamped shut as her heart pounded heavily in her ears. All she could manage was an echo of a whisper in reply, so that if Sophie weren't so close to her, she probably wouldn't of heard it.
"I want you more than anything" Sian breathed, finally opening her eyes and pulling Sophie's face to hers so she could kiss her and feel the contact she so desperately craved. Sophie deepened the kiss immediately, pushing all her weight down on her girlfriend who wrapped her legs around her in reply so their bodies merged into a feverish embrace.
Sian broke the kiss, but only for a second, "but are you sure? Because I want you so bad and if you stop-"
"baby I'm not gonna stop" Sophie cut in as she started to kiss down Sian's neck.
"I want you to be sure".
"I've never been surer".
Sophie got to the base of Sian's neck and just as Sian was about to protest again, Sophie sucked the tender flesh there, then trailed her tongue back up her neck, round the side of her jaw and towards the centre of her ear in one long fluid motion. It sent a million shivers to Sian's core and promptly made her forget whatever she was going to say. The tiny hairs on Sian's body stood on end as the sensation rippled though her.
Sian looked up at Sophie who was staring down back at her. Sophie flicked her hair over her head, "babe, just trust me".
Sian smiled, she promised herself she would stop being nervous. "I do".
"So shut up and let me kiss you"