A/N- 4 months ago, I planned this to be a 5-part-series titled The Pieces of My Broken Heart, which follows Elphaba, Glinda, Fiyero, Boq and Nessarose in the time that goes between Defying Gravity and Thank Goodness. Things happened (such as other fics I started working on, and school,) and the idea was abandoned. This afternoon I suddenly remembered having the first part in Elphaba's POV, which I wrote back then as a draft. I edited it a bit, and here it is. I hope you'll enjoy it. Feedback and reviews are always welcome.
Disclaimer- although it's been quite a while since I last wrote a Wicked fic, the characters are still not mine!
Silent Vow
Soaring. Higher. So high that the sparkling lights of the Emerald City are nearly invisible beneath the clouds, like tiny diamonds. The air up here is freezing but she doesn't feel the chill. She balances herself on the old broomstick, gently motioning it westward. She doesn't remember ever flying a broom before, yet she knows instinctively how to control it. She is fueled by a powerful mixture of adrenaline, determination and rage.
Higher. Faster. She knows she has to get away as quickly as possible.
It is not until she lands on the grounds of a far away forest when the events of the several last hours slowly start to sink in. The adrenaline wears off gradually. She starts to feel the chill.
She is trembling under the black cloak she is wearing; whether it is from the cold or from fear she cannot quite tell. She carefully walks through the forest, feeling somewhat protected by its enormous trees. Soon she finds herself a hiding place in a small hidden cave near a pond. She doesn't stop to marvel at the beauty of the place but simply crawls inside and sits heavily on the ground. She takes a candle out of her satchel and lights it, leaning back against the cave's wall, and releasing the breath she didn't even realize she was holding.
This is when she understands the severity of the situation she put herself into. She resisted the Wizard's authority. She went against him, she stole an old strange book, and now they all were after her. A tidal wave of panic runs through her and she shivers involuntarily.
She is scared, she suddenly realizes.
No. She is terrified.
She cannot define exactly how she feels. On the one hand, she knows she did the right thing resisting him. She can never go against her principles, even if it means turning against the most powerful figure in Oz. On the other hand… he is the most powerful figure in Oz. And she is merely twenty.
As this thought strikes her, she feels her determination fading away along with the remainders of her adrenaline. Doubt merges with panic and fear. She is starting to have second thoughts. She thinks of the poor helpless monkeys at the Wizard's throne. The mutilated monkeys. Her shivers worsen when she remembers that she is the one responsible to their mutilation. She knows she will never be able to forgive herself.
She takes the Grimmerie out of her satchel and opens it. She tries to read it in the faint candle light. The unreadable letters whirl in front of her eyes. She wonders if she will ever be able to decipher another spell from it.
And then, without warning, determination strikes her again full force, and she knows that she has to.
In the dimly lightened cave she makes a silent vow. She will go against the Wizard, even if it is the last thing she will do. She will not take part in his evil plans to use Animals as his spies. She will fight him with all her might. She will prevent Animal abuse. She will save them, all of them. Their destiny will not be similar to the monkeys'. She owes it to them, and to Dr. Dillamond.
The candle's flame provides her very little light, and even less warmth. She wraps the cloak tighter around her to keep herself as warm as possible. The cloak reminds her of Glinda. She remembers their last moment together right before the Gale Force barged into the tiny attic. She wishes Glinda would have joined her. She knows she could have been stronger if she had Glinda there with her. Yet Glinda made her choice, and she was left behind, in the chaos that Emerald City now is. She doesn't deceive herself. She knows she might not see Glinda ever again. She prays for her best friend's safety and happiness, and for her sister's forgiveness.
Slowly, almost without her being aware of it, her eyelids become heavy. She closes the Grimmerie and puts it in the satchel. She uses it as a pillow. The ground is hard and uncomfortable, but she hardly notices. Her cloak is the closest thing to a blanket she has, but it hardly shields her from the cold. She doesn't care anymore. Sleep seems so comforting at the moment.
As she closes her eyes, finally giving in to exhaustion, she is as determined as she was when she soared her way out of the City of Emeralds.
She will save them, she vows once again as she drifts into slumber. All of them.