Pilot X
By Sharan McQuack. Launchpad's wife.

Fess Parker has reached the Alamo at last. (RIP).

I definetly watched one too many a "Speed Racer" cartoon as a kid forty years ago. I will NOT be surprised if you figured out who "Pilot X' is, I'll be surprised if you DON'T.

Based on a one-page Launchpad McQuack story "La bete de la voltige" (four years high school French and I still don't know what that means.) from: Serie Disney Gags #1, August 1992

The only funny thing about those kind of stories to ME was the amount of money Disney COULD have made and could still be making IF they had dropped the "Launchpad is an idiot" nonsense in the beginning of the second season of "Ducktales", like they should of. I think of that and burst my sides, laughing.

Consider that Dufus-nik clapping for Launchpad: Disney clearly KNEW their fans respected, admired Launchpad and wanted him to win. Disney made him look stupid ANYWAY.

It was Easter Vacation and Launchpad had more than a week off of being a Flight Instructor at the Duckburg Flying Academy. The school was closing early since an outbreak of Swine Flu among Duckburg's talking Pigs had caused all schools to close early so they could be cleaned and sanitized.

The Dean of the College talked Launchpad into competing against all comers at an upcoming flying "Olympics".Once Launchpad found out the kind of money he could win (not to mention having a chance to show off), Launchpad agreed. Launchpad IS a show-off. That's not illegal, you know.

So Launchpad entered the "Olympics" and kept flying and kept winning, much to the chagrin of the other contenders. I didn't do too badly for a newbee pilot, I lasted longer than any other pilot with my lack of experience. (I had a VERY good teacher.) But I was still eliminated mid-stream.

One opponent drew a great deal of attention because he wore a mask. Both the masses and the Press made a fuss about him and wondered who he was. I laughed when I saw him, especially when I realized that Launchpad had no idea who this masked opponent was. And I did!

Chapter Two,
View of the Other Side (1)

In a typical case of one upmanupmanship, Flintheart Glomgold had entered his personal pilot in the flying Olympics. Flintheart rode shotgun. Flintheart, being dishonest, believes everybody else is dishonest. Therefore, Flintheart assumed Launchpad would cheat and wanted to catch Launchpad at it.

"I really don't care if you win or not" Flintheart told his personal pilot. "The purse for winning is peanuts to me! And YOU get to keep it, not me. But I want to prove that Launchpad is a cheat (NOT!), he's just too sneaky to get caught! And I want to ruin his reputation. "

I have no doubt Flintheart was planning to cheat in order to "prove" Launchpad was cheating, but he didn't have the chance.

Flintheart's pilot competed against a perfect stranger. Perfect stranger was WAY in the lead when it happened. A flock of birds had been disturbed by the flying olympics. The other pilots tried to avoid them, Flintheart and his pilot could not be bothered.

The birds were scared, confused and tired. Finally, the birds got mad at having THEIR sky invaded and flew right at Flintheart's plane in desperation. The birds went right thur the plane's "windshield" and were killed.

Flintheart Glomgold's plane , despite the pilot's efforts , went down. Launchpad saw this and flew his plane under the endangered plane, pushing it up. Flintheart's plane, due to gravity, almost forced Launchpad's plane to crash... but Pilot X flew his plane under Launchpad's and helped push both planes up. Once Launchpad had regained control, Pilot X disengaged his plane.

Launchpad flew with Flintheart's plane on top of his. Launchpad then extended the special landing gear under his plane and landed his plane, with the other plane on top of it, safely.

"Why did you save my life, fool? You almost got rid of me for good!" Flintheart asked.

"You're welcome." Launchpad replied, dryly.

"But to answer your question: A: your plane crashing in Downtown Duckburg, which is what would of happened if I hadn't of shown up, would of killed a lot of innocent "people". B: Darned if I know. Force of habit?" Launchpad replied.

Flintheart stalked off muttering.

Once Flintheart was out of view, Flintheart's personal pilot came over and thanked Launchpad.

"I'd like to thank you and apologize for my boss." he said.

"You're a Beagle. A member of the Beagle clan." Launchpad said, startled that a Beagle would THANK him.

"My name is Butch. Yes, I'm a Beagle. Why do you think I work for FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD? It was next-door-to-impossible to get my family to accept me taking a HONEST job, WORKING for a living. The only way to get them to let me do that was for me to work for a first-class stinker like Flintheart Glomgold. It was either that or steal- and I don't want to steal." Butch explained.

"But Flintheart is a crook! How can you not want to steal, yet work for him?" Launchpad asked.

"I don't have a choice! I look too much like the rest of my family to escape them! If I tried to work for an honest businessman, they'd make my life miserable! Besides, what difference does it make? YOUR boss is cranky, cheap, greedy, MY boss..." Butch began.

"Is dishonest, dishonorable, manufactures defective planes and plane parts that causes crashes and kill people..." Launchpad replied.

"People buy them! If people didn't buy them, trying to save money, my boss couldn't sell them! If people didn't buy them, they wouldn't hurt anybody! YOUR boss never crosses the line?" Butch asked.

"Very seldom. And if he does, he always turns back before he goes too far. The line a little hard to see, you know." Launchpad replied.

"Well, I can't see how it matter WHO I work for! I don't use planes to steal, if Flinty wants to do THAT, he can ask cousin Bomber, but NOT me! I don't want to go to jail or run from cops. As long as I'm flying for a living, I don't care WHO I fly to business meetings and conferences. " Butch said.

Launchpad looked Butch right in the eye and said:
"I'm PROUD of my boss. I respect and admire my boss. I LIKE my boss. Can YOU say the same?"

"No. But most people can't, you know." Butch replied.

Butch then walked away. (Perfect stranger had won the event while all this was going on.) The Flying Olympics soon resumed.

Chapter 3 Go, Launchpad, go.

Launchpad and the masked opponent kept flying and winning until they were the only two contenders left. Then, it came time of the two of them to face each other. I made sure I had a good seat. I didn't want to miss THIS. Then I noticed that Mr. McDuck and the kids were there.

"Hi ya, Sharan. Launchpad's doing real good ain't he?" Huey asked me.

"When we heard about Launchpad competing here, we dragged our Unca Scrooge here so we could watch." Dewey added.

"Who do you suppose the big guy in the mask is?" Louie asked.

"You mean you don't know, either? Well, that's makes sense, you only met him once. The funny thing is, LAUNCHPAD doesn't recognize him." I laughed.

"You know who this masked pilot is, then?" Mr. McDuck asked.

His tone clearly indicated that he did not believe me.

"Indeed I do! But I'm not going to give away the surprise if you haven't guessed!" I replied.

"Hmpfh. Perhaps I should of hired this big guy in the mask instead of Launchpad. He's obliviously older and more experienced. Still, if he's wearing a mask, he may be some sort of criminal." Mr. McDuck mused.

"That's not why he's wearing the mask. It's just the only way he could get Launchpad to fly against him. I do hope Launchpad wins, Launchpad has such a complex and that might help him overcome it." I replied.

"This masked pilot seems to know all the tricks Launchpad knows. And he flies just like Launchpad!" Mr. McDuck muttered.

"You got that backwards!" I laughed.

I was enjoying myself.

Launchpad started winning.

"Launchpad's got a better plane. He designed it himself. His opponent has an ordinary plane." I said.

"Thought you knew who his opponent is? He's almost as good as Launchpad!" said Mr. McDuck, before he realized what he was saying.

"I'm telling Launchpad you said that! Oh good! Launchpad WON!" I said.

Launchpad went to shake his opponent's hand.

"What's with the mask, anyway?" Launchpad asked.

"You always avoided flying against me before. This is the only way I could get you to compete against me." his opponent answered.

" I've flown against all comers before." Launchpad replied.

"But you always avoided flying against me- son." his opponent replied,.

And "Pilot X" took off his mask and stood revealed as Ripcord McQuack, Launchpad's Dad.

Launchpad stared in shock.

"Looks like you're a better pilot than I am after all, son." Ripcord said.

A dazed Launchpad accepted the trophy. Then the Press surrounded Launchpad and his father.

"How did you and your father beat so many opponents, Launchpad?" the Press asked.

"We had a little help. The luck of the Irish. It's Saint Patrick's Day." Launchpad replied.

The End.

(1) Please vote on if you like this story better with chapter 2 or without it. Assuming everybody and his dog doesn't vote for "without" I will TRY to post chapter two separately, the fanfiction way.