Survival of the Fittest

A/N: I own multiple thing but none of them are Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or Breaking Dawn. Unless you count the books because then I own two of each.

This is unBeta'd I would love to have one as I think it would one make me a better writer and it would also make it a better story. So please if you have the time and the desire please message me anyway possible and we will talk.

Intervention

BPOV

When I was a freshman at college, I was forced into taking numerous required classes that at the time I didn't see a need for. As I have gotten out of school and have ventured into the "real world" I realize many times I go back to those classes and relate quite well with the terms I learned in them. For example, one such required class was sociology 101, in this particular class I learned all about social norms. What are social norms you might ask; well those are the things that we do within our society for no others reason than it is what everyone else does. You know like once entering into an elevator we all turn around to face the door. Not that it is necessary that we face the door but we all do it. You ever want a good laugh step into a crowded elevator and don't turn around. People will actually start to squirm and look at you weird. Some may even be bold enough to ask you if everything is okay. I would know, I tried it.

So I am sure you are wondering what social norms have to do with me. Well apparently along the way I lost track of some vital social norms and now because of it, my dearest and closest friend has decided to enact an intervention, another term learned through a worthless class, psychology 101 if I remember correctly. I have known Jake since we were both "knee high to a grass hopper," as my dad Charlie would say. I think we bonded the most because we both were being raised by single dads. Jake lost his mom to a drunk driver when he was 6 months old and well Renee, my mom, hit the road as soon as the doctor cleared her after my birth.

If you ask Charlie how he and Billy, Jake's dad, met he will tell you it was in a support group for single parents. The truth though is that they met one night at a bar while they were both drowning their worries away in very strong liquor. It became their weekly "support group" and it was what they were telling the babysitter, Sue Clearwater to get her to watch Jake and me. I am pretty sure after 5-6 years of this she caught on but never said anything, because we continued to go to her house weekly for them to attend their support group. Because of these weekly meetings and the friendship that Billy and Charlie had we spent a lot of time together.

Jake is the best, best friend a girl could ask for. In grade school, when we played Barbie, Jake was always willing to play too. He would play whichever doll we wanted and he never required guns or fights. He was just as happy playing Skipper as he was playing Ken. Then when we hit preteen years he was perfectly okay with the make-overs and fashion shows. He was also the best at accessorizing our fashions shows. He knew just the right necklace or shoe to put with the outfit we had on. As we were leaning make up he would show us how to put on lip liner to make our lips look extra pouty. In Junior high he would squeal with us when we held hands for the first time or got our first kiss. It was in High School when my gaydar finally went off and I realized that the reason that Jake wasn't going to the girl ask guy dance wasn't because he wasn't asked but because he wasn't asked by the "right girl."

Jake followed me to college at UDUB. It was the best move on his part. Getting out of that small town and away from all the gossips, he was finally able to come out of the closet, not that he was really in one to begin with. Jake met Brady our junior year. They were both trying to start a campus student group. Brady for same sex marriage and Jake for same sex union. Not that Washington is anywhere near ready but they were hoping to piggyback on Vermont's big moves. To me they were companioning for the same thing but to them it was worlds apart. Brady wanted the whole church marriage, license joining, legal equality, God appointing marriage and Jake wanted legal equality without the ceremony. I think growing up gay on the reservation tended to make him shy away from ceremonies, and being that he was Native American, God was a touchy subject. He was more likely to swing in favor of a Superior Being than a God per say. In the end their heated arguments lead to explosive and very loud sex. Again, I would know at the time Jake and I were roommates. They have been together ever since and while they haven't officially joined they are for all intents and purposes husband and husband.

Which is just another rational that Jake is using in his intervention. See according to Jake, I am well on my way to becoming the neighborhood cat lady, old spinsters. At the ripe old age of 24 I am not in a committed relationship and therefore I have broken all social norms of the proper timeline. You know, go to college, get hitched, and pop out baby. Plus it doesn't help that my chosen career choice has me working out of my house and only going into an office once in a blue moon. So I have no where to meet an acceptable male in order to complete said timeline.

The best thing is that Jake decided to hold this intervention in front of all his closest and dearest friends, all gay I might add, at his birthday party. It is amazing what a few glasses of wine will bring out. Plus it didn't help that I showed up to his dinner party without a guest and made it an uneven number. See in the world of high hostess you never have an odd number at a dinner party. So Jake and Brady had planned for 14 invites of 7 perfect couples. I, being the stubborn soul that I am, came without a plus one. I never had a problem with hanging out with Jake's friend. In fact it was nice to get away from the straight world once in a while and if it wasn't for the fact that I love the peen I would even consider switching teams, just to get away from the drama of straight men. Tonight, Jake had invited Leah and her partner of the week Jessica. Leah could be a bitch at times but for the most part she was loyal. Her biggest chip on the shoulder stemmed from her perception that Jake acted too straight when he was around me. Then there was Brady's ex Sam, I know awkward for me too but apparently, they felt they were better off as friends, and his significant other Benjamin. Then there was Kate and Irina, friends of Jake's because of their affiliation with Leah and her other. Then of course, Riley and Rebecca and James and Laurent, all friends that they have met along the way at either rallies or clubs. While I know most of them quite well I would have never thought Jake would include them in our very private yet often frequent argument.

"Bells, dear, I know for a fact that your invitation said for you plus one." Jake so eloquently stated as I walked in to the hor dourves' hour Jake had going on.

"Jakie, you know that you are the only true man in my life. I don't have time to waste with weeding through all the bull shit that straight men throw at you. Happy Birthday, by the way." I stated as I kissed him on the check hoping to get off this dreadful subject as soon as possible.

"Dearie, you know as well as I that women are born with all the eggs that they will ever have. I know for a fact, that you started your period at the age of 13 and if you figure 12 eggs a year gone for the last 11 years that is 132 eggs that you have thrown away, girlie. If you don't hurry up the rest are going to whither and die and then what are you going to do when you finally want to settle down and have a little mini me running around?"

OMG, he did not just announce to the whole room when I started my period and that I was wasting eggs.

"JAKE, are you saying that you wanted me pregnant at the age of 13?"

"Oh hell no, you could barely take care of yourself then, but you truly being neglectful of those precious baby wannabes in your ovaries. I should totally report you to child protective services for the neglect that those babies are getting."

"I think that this has more to do with you and Brady wanting to adopt and not my dating. Can we please not continue to hound me on this? I will date when I find someone worth dating." I am really getting tired of them projecting; another word rendered from required college classes, their issues onto me.

"So what your saying then Bellarina, is that if you had the right man that you would be willing to date?" His smirk was giving him away. I could fill it in my bones he only ever gave leading questions when he felt he could win in an argument with them. He should have been a lawyer.

"Where are you going with this, Jake?" Raising an eyebrow as I asked him.

"Well, I was thinking of a….game, let's call it." He paused and sipped some of his wine, "Each couple here gets to set you up on 2 different dates. It can be two separate people or it can be two dates with the same person. You must attend each said date and not sabotage them as you are so good at. Then if you haven't met one you wish to continue dating we will let it drop and I will be the first person to buy you a cat. I'll even make sure that it is a grey tabby just like you have always wanted." The smirk on his face was way too much and there was no way I was going to fall for this "game."

"Well, Jake, as fun as that would be for all of you, I have no desire to join in your game, since I get nothing out of it." Take that Jakie.

"Oh but you do dear little one, two months of dates, that is 8 meals you don't have to pay for." Like that was worth the drama I am sure to experience.

"This is crazy, where the hell did you come up with this ludicrous plan anyways?" I just had to ask.

Then much to my surprise Jessica spoke up.

"It was kind of my idea. My bosses' sister started something like this for him two weeks ago. He was getting over a really bad relationship and she wanted to cheer him up. Plus he is new to the city and really isn't into the clubbing scene so this was a way for him to get to know people. I get to set him up on his last date if he gets that far. I always draw the short stick."

"What do you mean if he gets that far?" Now I was curious, maybe they did know something I didn't.

"Well, I probably shouldn't say anything as it is kind of a family secret. But my bosses' sister is kind of psychic. She seems to just know things. She seems to believe that by doing this that he will meet his true love alone the way. So they put in the clause that at anytime he can quit as long as he is willing to be in a relationship with one of the dates."

"You make it sounds like they have a whole contract thing going on? With lawyer talk and all." I joked around thinking I was being funny.

"Umm..they kind of did. Did you forget that I work for a law office and that both of them are lawyers?" Crap now I was getting her snooty face.

"Oops, sorry Jess. This just seems a little out there if you know what I mean. I know that you all have the best intentions and all but really what do you all know about straight relationships?"

"See you have finally nailed it on the head. Straights just haven't got a clue about relationships. It is all about chemistry and legalese with you straight people, always so complicated. For us it is about the relationship and the want. You don't see any of us dropping out just because it gets hard. So really who better to match you up than those who know how to make a relationship work?" Brady just had to put in his two cents but really it does make sense. Plus I haven't had much luck. Just like Jessica's boss I hated the club scene and without an office to go to and meet people it left me really hanging. Shot, I have started to think I need to get really involved in on line ordering to get the UPS guy to come around more often. Wouldn't that be a story to tell our grand kids? "I fell in love with your grandma because she had an on line shopping addiction and I had to deliver all her orders to her."

"Okay…fine." I said way under my breathe hoping he wouldn't hear. I hated to admit defeat especially to Jake.

"What was that girly? Did I hear you say you would do it?" Jake was all smiles now. He was so the type to say I told you so and I could hear it coming.

"Yes, I will do it on a few conditions. First, no more than two dates a week, I do have to maintain a certain calmness in my life. Second, no losers, people. I am not into being the bread winner and raising some guy up. They must be housebroken, get it? Third," looking straight at Leah, "no girls. I know you think I could swing that way but I just can't, I love me my men way too much."

"Fine, but we have stipulations too my girl." Jake jumped in. "The date must last at least an hour. None of this running off to the bathroom crap either, you must be actively engaged in open conversation. You have to at least let them pay for the meal or coffee whichever. We are only going to set you up with real gentleman and they will not let your women lib crap fly, you hear?" I nodded my head. "And finally, you must call and give a full report to me within 24 hours of your date as to why you can not or can go on another date with that person. We can't make sure to find the right one if you don't let us know where we went wrong." Jake laid down his rules.

"Fine, when does this all begin? Who gets to pick the first victim?" As I looked around the room I could see nothing but smiles and smirks. I so hope I wasn't just putting myself out there to hate myself even more than I did before I showed up without plus one.

"That would be, Bellies." Sam piped up. "I have this cousin. He's a teacher. Really into books and the whole education realm. You two should hit it off quite well. His name is Paul. He may be a bit older but he still is a great guy."

"By a bit older, you don't mean like 20 some odd years older do you?"

"No nothing like that, he is in his early thirties. Really Belly what do you take me for?"

"Right now, my pimp." Everyone laughed at that one.

So this is how it started. I am putting my love life at the mercy of a room full of gays, just to maintain some resemblance to understanding social expectations and norms. I figure I can go into this for a couple of different reasons and they all make sense to me. I could go in it to prove all of them wrong and that there isn't a single good straight guy out there, I could go into it to maybe get an itch scratched here or there, if the right person comes along that is, or I could just say fuck it and let what happens happen. Maybe they are right and that I can find someone worth putting myself out there for. If anything I don't believe that my life will be simple at all for the next two months.

A/N: So tell me if you want me to continue. I plan to make this all about the hunt. Humor galore, if I can pull it off. I really need positive reinforcement to continue writing since I don't see myself as a writer yet.