I lay under these damp sheets. Book clutched tightly in my left hand a paper torn in half in my right. I sigh and stuff my arm under the dirty pillow as I turn to the side. "Why does she torture me so?" I ask myself. Tears roll down my pale cheeks they are warm and give me comfort. Unable to hold them back I bury my face into the now wet pillow case and let everything run free. It is at this moment in my weakened state that she comes walking through the door, high on her own pride.

"What are you whining about?!" She asks folding her arms underneath her breasts. Her bright red hair folds over her shoulders, and I find myself staring at her face. Counting the freckles, getting lost in those cruel as ice eyes that she possesses. Before I mutter my reply she walks over and grabs a handful of my hair.

But I do not wince for she only does this far to often. I'm used to it. Instead I find myself wishing she would breakdown into my love for her, and let me hold her, feel her in my arms.

But ah the strong willed princess doesn't take kindly upon myself not portraying pain. She pulls hard on my hair, when I still don't react she bites my hand drawing blood and forcing me to yank my now swollen hand free from her mouth. I watch as a devious smile spreads across her face. It always sends shivers down my spine when she does that.

"Margaret, I have a secret to share with you." She says slowly, now letting her fingers run gently through my hair making it messy and out of place. Imperfection, the definition of my duchess. My heart skips as her hands run down and caress my face. All that I want in this moment if for nothing to be said, and sit like this forever. But the duchess has something to tell me. So of course for the hundredth time in my life my wish doesn't come true. "This evening I locked-lips with Eleanor." She tells me grinning, evil, heartless, oh my love. My crestfallen heart that has already been broken into a million pieces by this girl is shattered once again. Struck with a mallet and swept away by the wind. I cannot share Diana with any other. To share her is to let an imp take my soul.

She knows I'm hurt, which is why she smiles so. She stands and tells me to make her bed. Without a second thought I arise from my bed and walk over to hers. Tucking in the covers, placing the pillow just so. Everything needs to be perfect, perfect for my princess. As I turn around towards the door I feel my chest burning up with hate as I watch Eleanor proceed from the dark corridors outside into the room. I watch her wrapping her hands around my Diana. I watch her gently pull my Diana into a passionate connection of the lips. I watch as they fall onto MY bed. Crushing MY letter in the process (though what does it matter if its already ripped in half). And I watch as my Diana accepts from her what I've been begging from her my whole life. Love. My Diana.

--

That morning I awake in the hallway. Weak form the occurrences from last night. I scream and punch the wall as hard as I can and begin to weep. Weep from the misery that I feel in my heart. Weep because I hate this stupid orphanage. Weep because I'm in love.

I watch as the door facing where I sit opens. Eleanor comes out. I feel my nails digging into the floor that I am lying on. Furiously I get up and push the cold hearted girl into the wall. My glasses falling to the tip of my nose. My nails dig into the pale flesh on her neck. But she wont look at me. Just sends a glare directed to the floor.

"Why are you doing this to me Eleanor…WHY?!" I scream, my voice shaking along with my body.

"Because Meg your not the only one. Who. Loves. Her." Her voice tame and flat. I threw out my hand and slapped her hard across the face.

"But, but, but you could never ever love her as much as I do." By now I'm terrified of myself. But I'm not able to hold this back. It's to much anxiety. But being the kind person that I am I let her go and watch as she gets up and walks away.

--

Later that day as Diana and I walked through the garden together. She turns to me. She sits down on the green earth and pulls my hand so I am sitting directly beside her. I feel myself blushing deeply as she lays her head against my shoulder.

"I don't want to be here anymore." She say's to me in a tone that I have never heard being presented from her lips.

I stroke her back and close my eyes. "Only two more years for you Diana. And you'll be old enough to leave. But the others and I still have to wait a couple more years." What she did next surprised me, sent me falling deeper into despair, deeper into her love.

"Once you leave here promise you'll come find me?" She asks. Alas before I had the chance to answer she presses her lips against mine. I sit overwhelmed by the kiss. It was everything that I had ever wanted. I moan as I feel her nibbling against my bottom lip begging for entrance. Gladly I oblige and let her take me over. Let her do whatever she wants and if, at that moment she were to pull a knife from behind her back and slay me then and there, I would have died happy.

Her hands ran up and down my sides as she deepens the kiss. I feel her reaching up and tearing the glasses away form my face. Oh sweet and gracious lord thank you, a hundred times thank you. I think to myself as Diana breaks the kiss and snuggles against my side. I place my arm around her frail shoulders. Bringing her in closer to my body.

Something's tie your life together. Slender threads and things to treasure. Diana is mine, and I wont ever let anybody take her away from me. I watch her sleeping and soon my eyes began to close. We sleep in dusk and summer tangled in each others embrace.

--

But alas another dream. Another lost hope. Another reason to weep.