Okay, people. There's something I want to get straight here. Everyone deserves to hear my true story, and I know everyone wants to! But, you know, I'm not, like, pretentious or anything. So go ahead and listen to my sob story, or just ignore me, like everyone's been doing my entire life.
[Loud, heartbreaking sobbing is heard.]
My name is Mary-Sue. Yeah, it's a plain name, but that's why I'm always in disguise. I have to pick a different moniker every time I go out, so the police or social services don't find me. Not that that ever happens, but when it does, I always find a way to escape, generally with the help of my newest love interest. Honestly, does everyone have to grovel at my feet? And not only that, but I am seriously getting sick and tired of these stupid-ass prophecies being shoved in my face! What am I, Destiny's plaything? Oh yeah, I am.
It was a stupid curse, gone way too far by this point. Because of my vanity, I'm cursed to wander through tale after tale, a new me every time but still somehow the same. This curse is the only thing I can never defeat, no matter how powerful, or gorgeous, or magical, or witty I become. I've pretty much given up hope that I'll ever get out of here. But then I found you, dear reader, and here I am, finally pouring my heart out. Through plot holes, over missed punctuations and under horrific grammar, I'll always be here, weaving my way around the shadows of the night.
Maybe you don't believe me. That's okay, I wouldn't believe me either, or myself (if I were the reader, that is) because how could a fictional character be talking right to you? Right out of your computer? Thing is, I'm only here for a minute, ducking in for a breather before I go fight some dragon or something only I can stop. I'll do you a favor and remind you to delete your internet history, but you already knew that.
Or maybe that's not the thing you're questioning. Maybe you're wondering how always being perfect could be so bad. I mean, just look at me, just as I've stepped out of that last ghastly piece. I'm delicate and slender, with long, silvery-blond hair flowing "like a waterfall" to about mid-calf. Said hair which, probably by magic, never seems to get messy or tangled, only when there's a strand of hair conveniently placed in front of my face for the latest fawning admirer to tuck back behind my ear.
But as often as I'm like that, it's just as often that I'll be slingshotted into something the exact opposite, a character that everyone can relate to (Every real girl looks like this, right?). I'll have shortish brown hair and glasses, be short, and of course low self-esteem is always a must. Add "nerdiness," boring parents, and a crush on the most popular guy in school and I'll be all set. Or sometimes worse, I'll sneak past as an emo/goth freak who does drugs and cuts. Those faux-emotional stories are horrid, seriously.
But I absolutely didn't come here to tell you how to make more courses for me to run, so I'm not going to waste my time on that. My magic time-telling skillage is telling me I'm about to be caught by whatever jerkwad stuck me in here and tossed forcefully into another one. They'll probably make it extra harsh for running away- oh, dude, what if it's a Harry Potter fic? Seriously, I used to love Harry Potter before I got stuffed into that destiny and prophecy crap a hundred thousand times. It's one of Their favorite punishments when I've tripped up, or wriggled out of one so it doesn't update- crap! There They are! Dude, you've got to get me out of here! I've got to hide someplace, quick! Wait, no, don't! Stop! Not that- I'll go peacefully, okay, just not that one! Thank you, thank you! Wait, no, I-
They all stare at the glamorous young teen as she stepped warily into the light. Her wrists were delicate yet strong, her hair flowing beautifully down her back like a golden waterfall of light. Her dress is silver, and just low-cut enough so that the dashing prince could looks positively bashful. But what really drew your attention was the slow smile playing around her ever-changing eyes, eyes that held you in they're gase and lock you they're so you fall immideatly in love with her Which the young Prince did. He took her had and kissed it.
"The fair Lady Cyerralyynn, I presume? she blushed her lips turning a perfect petal pink.
"Yes sir" said the beautiful Lady Cyerralyynn. The prince was so handsome, she was sure he would be different than the other boys who lusted after her in her small town home which she lived in before she had discovered that she was a Lady who was lost when she was just a child. It had been a sad goodbye to her adopted parents before she set out to the castle to find her fate, the one the dragon had been talking about.