Never be Normal
Summary: Bobby had always wanted to be like everyone else; now that John is gone he wonders whether being different is really so bad.
Disclaimer: I don't own X-men. I barely made up the plot.
Ever since he was little, all Bobby Drake ever wanted was to be normal. And no matter what he did, he never was.
It started in grade school. He had been the outcast in the class. Instead of spending time with friends he would study in his spare time. His classmates made fun of him and called him a teacher's pet. He was always the one who was left out. He got sick of not fitting in. It wasn't long before his grades started dropping.
Even as he got older, he was always the odd one out. He made a couple friends but he never got very close to any of them. As his last year of elementary school approached, he became exceedingly lonely. His X gene surfaced early.
He created his first snow storm by the age of 10.
When he first witnessed his own powers he was terrified. He ran home as quickly as he could. No one had been around to see that he was the one who had generated the uncanny blizzard. He remained calm enough to make sure his parents never found out either.
Days later, a Professor Xavier came to his house. He informed Bobby that he was there to recruit him to mutant school. Bobby was too embarrassed to tell his parents the truth and he begged the Professor not to say anything to them. Xavier consented to his secrecy without a word. His parents were told it was a prep school.
When Bobby got to Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youngsters he was nervous and he was hopeful. He knew his chance for fitting in with normal humans had been blown. But he was with his own kind now. He could start over. This was his chance to be a normal mutant.
The first person he met at the Institute was his roommate, St. John Allerdyce. It didn't take long for Bobby to like him. John was a rebel, always getting into all types of trouble. You could tell from just looking at him that John was the type he wanted to be around. He wanted excitement. He would no longer be the class nerd.
Most of the people the Institute were contrastingly nice to him. It made sense that they would be. They all were outcasts in one way or another. This was where most mutants went when they couldn't stand being excluded any longer. John, though, was a different story. He was still an outcast.
John didn't have friends. It was that simple. No one really knew that much about him. Bobby was told he had arrived at the Institute almost 3 months before he did. The day he got there he had been covered in dirt and bruises. There were all sorts of terrible rumors about what happened to 'the boy in the corner flicking his lighter' before he came here.
Everyone he asked told Bobby to stay away from him. But it was already too late. Bobby had made up his mind.
John didn't like people in general, much less happy-go-lucky Bobby Drake. At first he hadn't wanted anything to do with him and he pushed Bobby away. But even anti-social John Allerdyce couldn't stop the inevitable.
They fell in love.
Bobby and John were friends for years before it happened. Bobby was the first one to notice what was happening between them. When he realized it, he became ashamed of himself. He tried to deny his attraction to the other boy. He frantically searched for a way out.
She became his way out. Marie "Rogue" d'Ancanto.
He had been at the Institute for almost 6 years when she arrived. That day, the whole Institute was buzzing with tales about a new girl that couldn't be touched. As soon as he learned of her powers he knew she was what he had been hoping for.
She was perfect.
She would never ask him why he would rather stare at John than kiss her. She would never ask him why he would scream John's name instead of hers.
He didn't have to want her.
He immediately asked her out. She immediately said yes.
Even though he now had a girlfriend, it still wasn't enough. He tried avoiding John and he began spending time with other friends. John started to get uneasy. He was scared of loosing Bobby.
He started acting up even more to get Bobby's attention. Bobby had to work even more not to give it to him.
Finally, one night when they were 17, John couldn't hold it in anymore. He confessed his feelings to Bobby and pulled him into their first kiss.
It was easy for Bobby to give in to temptation in the beginning. He kissed John back just as passionately and let him lead them slowly towards his bed.
John made love to him that night.
Bobby would never forget how John had treated him. He hadn't been his normal cocky self. John had been so sincere and caring, making sure not to hurt him.
He really had loved Bobby.
Bobby had woken up cradled in John's arms the next morning. Once his mind unfogged and he realized what happened, he flipped out. He started hyperventalating, hurriedly putting his clothes back on. He muttered to himself over and over that he wasn't gay, he was normal, but nothing helped.
John managed to calm him down after a few minutes. He told Bobby to just forget that anything happened. Bobby silently agreed and rushed towards the door. With one final sigh, John asked Bobby if he would have stayed if he was a girl.
Bobby told the truth.
After that, they kept their word and never spoke about it again. They were barely friends anymore. They still spent time together but John grew suspicious that Bobby made sure they were never alone. Whenever they were together, they would almost always be accompanied by Rogue.
Day by day, John became consumed in rage and jealousy. Everyday of watching those two together reminded him of what could have been his.
John left for the brotherhood the first chance he got.
And, just like that, they became enemies. It happened so fast that Bobby could barely comprehend it. He had thought that things might be easier with John gone. He had Rogue; he didn't need John. He wasn't gay. Why should he care if John chose the other side?
But he did care.
It was months after John left before he realized how much he really missed John. He had lost the best friend he'd ever had and, whether or not he'd admit it, his first love.
Bobby had always wanted to be like everyone else; now that John is gone he wonders whether being different is really so bad.