So, wow. This is my first ATLA fic.
Okay, so I know the whole Zutara Southern Raiders thing is a bit over done but I decided to make one anyway. I plan to have this as a one shot but hey if people want me to continue it I might.
By the way, I got a lot of the dialogue from transcripts of the episode. Hooray for Avatar Wikia!
Oh, and this isn't really like a "GIGANTIC bundle of Zutara romance" story. Sorry to disappoint.
I DON'T OWN AVATAR OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS.
Zuko didn't know a lot of things, but he knew enough. For example, Zuko knew that he had a temper. An outrageous temper, that often got him into more trouble than not. He also knew that he wasn't exactly the most welcoming person either, with his scar and angry attitude. An attitude that kept people from wanting to make friends with him, not that he cared. But one of the things that Zuko didn't know was this; why he wanted, out of all the people in the world, the waterbender to like him so much. Or to at least accept him.
It wasn't as if he deserved it. He had fought her, hurt her, betrayed her multiple times in the past. He was the crown prince (ex-exiled, but likely to become ex ex-exiled unless they defeated Ozai) of the nation that started this horrible war, causing her to have multiple losses and pains in her life. He tied her to a damn tree, for goodness sake, and tried to bribe her with her mother's necklace.
So it was reasonable, for her to treat him that way. It was reasonable to hate him, to threaten him. But he saved her father. He was teaching Aang firebending. He apologized, went on his knees. And today, he even pushed her out of the way of falling rocks (though why, he didn't exactly know) yet she still hated him. Everyone seemed to accept him a bit better now, even liked him, trusted him. Except for her. And of course, it was her that Zuko most wanted acceptance from.
So when she stormed away from the bonfire, of course he went to go after her. Because for some reason, he couldn't seem to leave her alone.
Zuko finds her at the edge of the cliff, staring off into space. His hair keeps blowing into his eyes; it was awfully windy.
She sees him right away, and he knows she's angry. She brushes past him, ignoring his presence.
Zuko's temper gets the best of him again. "This isn't fair! Everyone else seems to trust me now! What is it with you?"
Her face scrunches up in anger. "Oh, everyone trusts you now! I was the first person to trust you! Remember, back in Ba Sing Se? And you turned around and betrayed me, betrayed all of us!"
He resists the urge to sigh. Instead, he just closes his eyes. He doesn't really know what to say. Because her reasons are, well, reasonable. But he wants her to trust him, to not think of him as a betrayer, as an enemy, but as a friend. He wants her to like him. "What can I do to make it up to you?"
She walks towards him, steps exaggerated and stompy, fists clenched, fury in her blue eyes. "You really want to know? Hmm, maybe you could reconquer Ba Sing Se in the name of the Earth King." She snaps. "Or, I know! You could bring my mother back!"
And then she's gone, walking away, leaving him feeling somewhat stunned and somewhat disappointed.
Zuko doesn't want to give up, though. So he goes to Sokka. And after he gets the information he needs, (and after he unsuccessfully tries to erase the image of Sokka lying seductively on his mat with a rose in his mouth) he walks outside to Katara's tent and waits.
The first thing she says that morning to him is that he looks terrible. He replies with, "I waited out here all night."
"What do you want?"
"I know who killed your mother." Her eyes widen. "And I'm going to help you find him."
And then they're ready to go, their supplies packed and everything, ready to head out on their "Field Trip With Zuko" but Aang stops them. He does not like revenge, it's against his philosophy. But Zuko doesn't believe in Aang's philosophy, and honestly, he doesn't really feel the need to believe in any type of philosophy. He doesn't want his life to be ruled by so many standards. And he doesn't really think he should spend his life living by standards set by other people, standards he did not make up himself. He wants his life to be his own, after being pressured by his father for so many years.
Katara's upset. "I knew you wouldn't understand." She scoffs.
"No, I do understand!" Aang reassured. "You're feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation after I had found out what they had done to my people?"
Zuko almost wants to laugh at the fact that Aang compared the death of Katara's mother to when his pet was lost. There wasn't anything wrong with Appa, in fact, Zuko was taking a bit of liking to the humongous animal. But this was Katara's mother they were talking about, not some animal. But, hey, at least his second statement was reasonable.
"She needs this, Aang." Zuko says. "For a sense of closure and justice." Because he never got the chance. He didn't even know his mother was alive until now. He doesn't even know where his mother is.
"This is about revenge. Not justice." Aang replies evenly, perhaps even disappointedly. The look he gives Katara surprises Zuko. The Avatar seemed to always have this almost naive admiration for Katara, (though Zuko had to admit, Aang did seem to genuinely like her,) and it was strange to see him act differently around her.
"Maybe it is." Katara snaps angrily. "Maybe that's what I need. All I know is that I need to see this man."
"Katara, you sound like Jet."
"That was different! He attacked innocent people. This man is a monster."
Aang does not let them go.
Katara strides past him furiously, not looking back, and Zuko follows.
"Zuko." She whispers, shaking him gently. "Zuko, wake up."
His eyes snap open, and he immediately sees a pair of bright blue orbs.
She's leaning over him slightly, and Zuko can't help but notice how close she is, and how her eyes practically glow in the darkness of his tent.
She's dressed in a black get up, and she hands him his own outfit. "Let's go."
He stands up immediately, and she walks out so he can change. His stuff is already packed from earlier, so he just grabs his bag and leaves.
The stars shine brightly against the midnight backdrop, but the pair doesn't have time to contemplate the beauties of the sky. They hurry over to Appa, and start loading.
"So you were just going to take Appa anyway?"
Zuko curses inwardly. They were so close.
"Yes." She answers simply, not even looking back.
Aang sighs. "That's okay. I forgive you." He pauses. "Does that give you any ideas?"
"Aang, I need to do this." Katara says stubbornly. She isn't going to budge.
More harsh words are exchanged; but eventually, they leave.
They head straight to Whale Tail Island after finding the information from the communication tower.
"This doesn't mean I like you, you know." She says harshly. "This is just for my mom."
Zuko's heart sinks, but he nods anyway. "Of course."
Eventually, he falls asleep again, against his own liking.
When he wakes up, Katara's still at the reins, her hair blowing and her body tense. The sun is just starting to rise, orange shades splashing across the sky. Zuko knows she has to be tired, but he also knows that she doesn't want to sleep. Instead, to his own shock, because he really has no idea why after she literally told him she did not like him, she tells him about her mother, about her death. Zuko clenches his fists because he knows how hard it is to lose your mother. He understands. And he can't help but feel something towards the waterbender, can't help but marvel at her strength, even when her voice breaks.
"Your mother was a brave woman," Zuko says. And so are you.
"I know," Katara replies.
They settle into a silence. It's nighttime again, when they spot the ship.
When Appa submerges into the water, Katara producing a bubble around their heads, Zuko grips Appa's fur until his knuckles turn white. Because even though he trusts Katara on some sort of level, he can't help but think that she could easily drown him in seconds. And the fact that he's surrounded by her element, by his opposite, doesn't help things either.
But they make it on the ship okay, Appa landing on the deck, Katara swiftly knocking the soldiers overboard. They run through the corridors of the ship, knocking soldiers out of the way until they reach the commander.
"This is it, Katara. Are you ready to face him?"
She busts the door down.
When they return, Katara is quiet, her hands shaking, and Zuko pretends he doesn't notice the tears in her eyes when he pulls her up to Appa's saddle. He doesn't know if she wants comforting or not, but then again, Zuko isn't one to comfort others anyway, so he remains silent, taking the reins without asking her. He decides to give her time to herself; if Zuko were in her place, he wouldn't want pathetic apologies when it wasn't anyones fault, he wouldn't want fake reassurances or pity.
Zuko steers them to land, where they can hopefully find a random village where they can stay the night. If they can find one, they can ask if anyone knows of Yon Rha in the morning.
They're both silent. They both have a lot of things on their minds.
Zuko can't help but think of Katara, in her strange stance with clawlike hands, blue eyes hard as stones as she forced the man onto his knees. He doesn't know what she did, or how she did it, though he has a pretty good hunch that it has to do something with waterbending. That she was bending the water inside the man. He isn't sure what he should think about it-he was stunned at first, even a little frightened. He's not sure if it was because of the fact that she could control the man or look in her eyes when she did. Zuko had never seen that side of Katara before, had never seen her so...like him. Because he knew he had that side to him, that ugly, harsh, menacing side that his Uncle had put up with for three years. And he understands, understands how pain and grief and anger can just mix up inside you and turn you into someone you thought you could never be.
He realizes that him and the waterbender are more alike than he thought.
And he knows he can never judge her for having that side, when he has it too, when he understands why sometimes you need it. He knows that she is unbelievably strong to have that side and to not lose herself into it like he did.
His mother's words rush into him. "Never forget who you are."
"Zuko?" Katara says, almost hesitantly, startling him out of his thoughts.
"Yeah?" He replies, looking over his shoulder for a minute, before turning back.
He hears her move up closer to him, and she sits down next to him in front of Appa's reins.
"Before, in Ba Sing Se…" She starts, and Zuko tenses slightly. "When we were in the Crystal Catacombs, you said that your mom was...gone. That the Fire Nation took her away from you, too. What did you mean by that?"
Zuko pauses, slightly startled by the question. Katara sees his hesitation and says quietly, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
He shakes his head. "No, I do. It's only fair." He pauses again, sighing. "At that time, I had thought she was dead. But, on the day of the invasion-" This time, Katara tenses, and Zuko winces. "On the day on the invasion, I had confronted my father. I said some...stuff. About how, you know, what he was doing was wrong, how everything was wrong and that I wouldn't be his pawn anymore and-" he cut himself off, waving one of his hands dismissively. The other one clenched into a fist. "That's not really important. Anyway, he told me then that my mother was alive, just banished." He smiles grimly. "I guess being banished just runs in the family."
"So she's alive?" Katara asks, and he nods. "Why did she get banished?"
Zuko grimaces. "Uh, well, my father wanted the throne, but my uncle was in line for it. But my father still tried to convince my grandfather, Azulon to give the throne to him. He said that he would be more suitable since Uncle was...still grieving over the loss of his son. My cousin." Darkness pools into Zuko's eyes. That had not been a good time for his Uncle. Katara gazes at him intently, blue eyes flickering with something not unlike sympathy.
Fighting the heat that rushes to his cheeks, Zuko opens his mouth to speak again. "Azulon wasn't happy. He ordered my father to kill his first born, and he was going to do it but-"
"What?" Katara exclaims. "He's your father! What-what kind of a man would do that to his son? To his grandchild? That's terrible! What kind of family..." She trails off, but Zuko already knew what she was going to say.
What kind of family does that to each other?
Zuko looks down at his hands. "The kind of family I have, I guess."
"I-I'm sorry," Katara says, sounding sheepish, but also sincere. "I shouldn't have-"
"Don't worry about it." Zuko cuts off. "Anyway my mother found out, so instead she formed a plan with Ozai, that would bring him to the throne and save my life." Zuko grimaced. "She apparently did...really bad things. She got banished for treason. For protecting me."
Katara becomes quiet for a moment. "She really loves you."
Zuko doesn't answer. He doesn't know what to say.
They actually do find a town, to Zuko's relief. They sleep in the nearest inn, Zuko sprawled across the floor in one of the sleeping bags they brought and Katara on the bed. He blushes and turns his head when she strips down to her bindings. He wasn't used to pretty girls in small amounts of clothing.
He doesn't know what had exactly changed today between them, but Katara seems much more relaxed in his company. She tells him about the time a penguin had barfed fish on Sokka after the two had went penguin sledding.
"Penguin sledding?" Zuko asks, bemused.
She rolls over, head almost hanging off the bed, and looks at him with shock. "What, you've never gone?"
He rolls his eyes. "I'm Fire Nation. What did you expect?"
Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. Her eyes darken, and Zuko mentally curses at himself.
"I'm not sure," she says. "Just expected something else."
He's not sure if she's still talking about penguin sledding or not.
Later into the night, when both of them are awake and both are pretending to be sleeping, Katara rolls over again to peer down at Zuko. He's lying on his side, shirtless, his dark hair a mess. His face is tense, and Katara knows he's awake. His scar shines like a beacon across his pale skin, and Katara can't help but think about the Catacombs, how he had let her touch his scar so… intimately.
Not for the first time, she wonders how he got it.
She doesn't know what to think of Zuko anymore. At first it was easy to not like him, to not trust him. But then he saved her father, he saved her, he went with her on this trip, was the only one that stood by her when everyone else was against her. She told him about her mom, why, she didn't really know-maybe because she just wanted to confide to someone. And in return, he told her about his mom, about his father, and Katara could just see the pain and longing in his eyes. She knows he understands.
And he had also seen her bloodbend, but hadn't mentioned it since.
Guilt and disgust wrack Katara's insides. She can't believe she actually did that, can't believe she let her anger get the best of her. And it wasn't even the right man. She can't seem to forget the way the commander looked at her-with complete horror, as if she were a monster. Yet at that time, she didn't even seem to care.
And Zuko had seen all of that, had seen her act like a monster and he doesn't even seem to think down on her, doesn't seem to be afraid of her. And she doesn't know why. She doesn't know why he is doing any of this, except maybe to earn her forgiveness. The thought makes her frown.
"Zuko?" She whispers.
His eyes flash open, two golden suns piercing through the dark. "Hmm?"
"Why are you doing this?" She asks, frowning. "This isn't just...some way to get me to forgive you, is it?" Why she cares, she doesn't know. But for some reason, she would feel way better knowing Zuko did this with her because he cared, because he wanted to, because he knew how hard it was to lose a mom and he wanted to help her. Not as some way to make her like him, not as some way for him to benefit himself out of it.
But that's what you want, isn't it? A voice in her head whispers. You want him to be the person that's easier to hate.
She doesn't know what she wants anymore.
Hurt flickers through his eyes at her question, but eventually it morphs into something like an understanding gaze. He drags his hands down his face, sighing, as he sits up. "I do want you to forgive me," he says quietly. "I do want to make it up to you. But that isn't the only reason I did it." He pauses, frowning. "I...I had never had a chance to have some sort of closure for my mom. I mean, I never knew what happened to her, I just woke up one day and she was gone. Eventually I thought she was dead. And even now, when I know she's alive, I still don't have a sense of closure. Because I don't even know where she is. I don't-" His hands ball into fists. "I don't know anything."
Katara remains silent, studying him.
"I wanted to do this with you," Zuko says. "Because I get how hard it can be to lose your mom...and I want to help you get the closure I never got."
And suddenly Katara says something she doesn't plan to say, and her cheeks flush red. "Are you doing this because you care about earning my trust or because you care about me?"
The silence after the question in unbearable, and Katara is glad for the darkness that covers her flushed, embarrassed face. She's just about to say forget it, that she didn't mean it, that she was tired and it had been an extremely emotional day, when Zuko speaks.
"You," he says simply. "Goodnight, Katara."
"Goodnight," she replies softly, after a moment of stunned silence.
She falls asleep peacefully for the first time in weeks.
When Katara wakes up, it's because Zuko has just come in again, a bag of food in his hands. She yawns, glancing out the window. The sun seems to have just finished rising.
"Wow," she jokes. "You really do rise with the sun."
Crimson splashes across his cheeks and he smiles sheepishly. "That was probably one of the most stupidest things I've ever said."
She can't help but laugh a little. She also can't help but notice he was quite handsome, when he smiled. Even when he wasn't smiling, he was attractive.
She shoves the thought away.
He sets out the food on the little table in their room. He coughs. "And um, sorry I kind of knocked you into that pole thing…" He mumbles. "And for knocking you out and stealing Aang. And for tying you to a tree. And-"
Katara throws a chunk of rice at him, and he blinks, staring at her incredulously, almost childishly. Katara laughs again, but she doesn't say anything about forgiving him, because she's not sure if she can forgive him yet. But she does know that she somewhat enjoys his company, that she likes how his lips twitch when he's fighting off a smile, and how dorky he can be without realizing.
"This doesn't mean I like you, you know." She says, as she fights to school her expression into a neutral one.
Katara waits for his lips to twitch and almost beams when they do.
"Of course," he says, before taking a bite of his food.
He tells her he met a man who knew Yon Rha. The man told him that Yon Rha just lives the next village over, and Katara feels a surge of steady determination rush through her.
"Luck's on our side," she says. Because she can't believe that the random village they flown into just happened to be the village right next to where the man they were looking for lived.
Zuko gives her an unreadable expression. "We don't need luck."
After breakfast, they head straight to Yon Rha. Katara's face is in a set expression. She feels a whirl of emotions; anger, anxiety, sadness, pain, and they all mix together leaving her feeling nothing but numbness.
When they first spot the village, she's taken back at how empty it is. But, in grim satisfaction, she realizes that the desolateness will make it easier to confront Yon Rha.
They find him in the market, first. He looks old, his hair gray and face wrinkled, but Katara can see that he still is a warrior, the way he looks at the crates the pair are hiding behind suspiciously. When he turns away, Katara starts to get out from behind the crates, but Zuko stops her. She looks at him angrily. She wants to get this over with, wants to hurt the man who hurt her.
"We'll sneak up on him, when there's less people to spot us." Zuko reasons. Katara eventually settles back into her spot.
Their moment comes when he's walking home. He trips over the wire Zuko had set up -Katara had to admit that was a pretty smart move- and she walks past Zuko to approach Yon Rha.
She pulls her mask down. "Do you know who I am?"
It takes a few minutes (and threats) until his eyes dawn in realization.
"Yes, yes, I remember you now." He says. "You're that little Water Tribe girl."
He tells her what he remembers, and Katara feels her heart break in sorrow, in pain, in anger, in guilt, and she might even feel a little bit proud, because her mom died protecting her, her mom was brave enough to sacrifice herself for her own child.
"She lied to you," Katara says, voice shaking slightly. "She was protecting the last waterbender."
"What? Who?"
"Me!" And all she sees is red, all she feels is anger, and she reaches out to the rain that had started falling down, (when did that happen?) freezing it and only thinking that this man should pay-
But something stops her.
And when Yon Rha sees his chance, and starts groveling at her feet, starts saying that she could kill his own mother, she feels the need for revenge draining out of her. She can't believe this pathetic excuse of a man. Can't believe how empty he is.
She turns around and walks away, Zuko following.
She doesn't cry until they reach Appa. Zuko rests his hand on her shoulder but she shrugs it off. She buries her face into Appa's fur, her entire body shaking with sobs. She can sense Zuko behind her, and when he puts his hand on her shoulder again she decides to leave it there.
When her sobs turn into sniffles, Zuko says something that takes her off guard.
He doesn't tell her he's sorry. He doesn't tell her it will be alright.
"You are very, very strong." He says, something that sounds like admiration in his tone. "Strong and brave."
On the ride back, Katara holds his hand and doesn't let go.
They find her on the boardwalk, her feet dangling off the edge.
Aang hops off Appa, and quickly goes after her. Zuko follows but at a more leisurely pace. He can hear their conversation, though, as he walks closer.
"You did the right thing. Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing," he hears Aang say.
She stands up, turning around to face Aang. "But I didn't forgive him," she says, then adds more harshly, "I'll never forgive him." Her eyes soften, though, when she sees Zuko over Aang's shoulder, and for some reason that makes Zuko's heart pound.
"But I am ready to forgive you."
And suddenly she wraps her arms around him. Zuko closes his eyes and does the same. He can't help but marvel at how they fit together, at how warm she is despite water being her element. He can't help but take a deep breath and smell the ocean from her hair, can't help but bury his head closer to her neck. And he swears he feels her brush her lips against his cheek, but it might just be his imagination. A weird feeling rushes through him, one he's never really felt before.
Eventually they pull away, standing there for a moment to stare at each other. She smiles at him and he can't help but smile back.
When she walks away, he turns and watches her. The feeling doesn't leave.
Zuko realizes he just might know why he had wanted the waterbender to like him so much after all.
Tadaaaa. Hoped you liked it!
~awkotaco14