Marco Interviews Harry Potter
By: Paige Collins
There was nothing going on that day that had seemed a bit...er...unusual to Harry, except the fact that Hermione was actually not going to the library, which was extremely odd, but nothing else really weird.
Harry was sitting by Ron in a large armchair in the Gryffindor common room and he was having a nice little conversation about getting back at Snape. All their ideas, sadly, would result in their being expelled and Snape wasn't likely to live through any of it, but it they did any of it, they'd bet.
Snape would like that.
"I mean, we could...oh, this is good...picture it, okay? You, me, Snape and this...this creature...help me out, Harry...help me out."
"It's a...werewolf," said Harry excitely, his eyes blazing with excitement. "Oooh...it's a werewolf. What happens next?" He leaned closer to get hear better.
Ron grinned evilly. "I release it from it's cage and it runs and runs with the speed of light and there is Snape, standing there, unprotected by anything except for a...coat hanger. It graps Snape's leg and there's lots of blood."
Harry sighed. It was a dream that would never happen and he could only dream of something so great.
"But what if it doesn't kill him?"
Ron shrugged. "Plan B."
"What's that?"
"Ummm...more werewolves?"
Harry smiled...it didn't take much to amuse him. "Yeah!"
"Oh...are you doing your homework already...unless it includes Snape?" asked a voice behind them.
Harry saw a shadow was loomed over him and he threw his head back and saw Hermione's, upside down.
"Yeah," said Ron. "Our assigment is to make up a story of how we think Snape was as a child."
Harry shuddered. "Thank goodness that isn't our real assignment."
Ron laughed, but Hermione looked serious. "You really should get on your homework, now, before it's too late."
And then she walked away.
"'You really should get on your homework, now, before it's too late,'" said Ron in a very good Hermione voice. "What, is the end of the world coming and the only thing we can do is homework?"
Harry laughed softly. "She just likes getting good grades, that's all. Wish I was more like her...but then again, I don't sometimes."
And then, before Ron could say something, there was a loud sound.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Harry and Ron and quite a few other Gryffindors.
Someone had just appeared in the common room!
There was purple, sparkly smoke and for only a moment, Harry could only see a small figure within the smoke and soon, the figure emerged, waving his hand and coughing.
"Hey...(cough) is this the (cough, cough) Gryffindor common room?" (he coughed two more times.
The person was a boy, younger than Harry, and shorter than Harry. He had dark hair and skin and he looked pleased with himself. "I asked if this (cough, cough, cough) was the Gryff (cough) indor common room."
No one said anything and there was silence in the common room, where the only sounds were the boy coughing.
"What?"
No one dared say anything.
"Is it something you said?" he asked and laughed hard, which resulted in more coughing. "Man...gotta stop traveling that way. Gonna kill me." He sighed. "So, anyone of you...Harry Potter?"
Harry didn't feel scared. He was used to things like this, seeing as how everyone knew his name and he could almost feel the boy was going to say something like that. But he prayed the boy didn't know Harry.
But everyone in the room looked at Harry.
The boy smiled as he saw this and walked up and shook Harry's hand. "So...famous Harry Potter, huh?" He held out his hand. "Marco...just Marco."
Harry shook his hand, feeling nervous. It wasn't like everyday a boy named Marco showed up in your common room.
"Who are you?"
The boy smiled. "You may be famous, but you aren't smart," (Harry saw Ron clench his fists) "because I just said I was Marco. I'm a Animorph."
"What's a Animorph?"
Marco's smile faded. He told who he was, who the Animorphs were, who the Yeerks, were, who Britney Spear, since she seemed to keep popping up everywhere.
"...and then my pants fell down," said Marco. He clapped his hands together. "Any questions?"
No one said anything, but to everyone's surprise, someone's hand raised high up in the air and it wasn't Hermione's.
"Yes?"
It was Neville. He spoke in barely a whisper, as though he was scared. "Are you going to hurt us?"
Marco laughed harshly, which caused Neville to burst into tears. "No, no, no...dear boy, no. I'm simply here for an interview with Harry Potter."
Someone cleared their throat, who turned out to be Ron, and he stepped in front of Harry. "We don't take too kindly to reporters."
Marco shrunk back, since Ron was taller than he was. "Well, what if I told you I wasn't a reporter?"
"What do I look like, stupid?"
"Actually, yes."
Harry grabbed Ron's robes to hold him back. "What did you say? Say that like a man...no, you're a little girl, I forgot."
Marco put on a frown and put up his fists. "I'm ready to fight!"
"Let go, Harry!" Ron suddenly twisted free of Harry's grasp and was on Marco faster than...uh, (insert what Ron was faster then here.)
Harry gasped and ran over and had to drag Ron off of him, who was still punching and yelling, "Lemme at him! Lemme at him? Where is he?"
Marco crawled away. "He's nuts."
"Grrrrrr..."
Marco began to whimper.
Harry ignored all this. "Now...what were you saying?"
Marco took a deep breath. "I'm here to interview you."
"When?"
"Right now."
"Right now?"
"Uh-huh."
"Well..."
"Please?" Marco put on sad little puppy eyes. "Oh, please?"
Harry felt his eyes fill with tears. "P-poor little boy," he choked. "Come on, you can interview me."
They took a seat next to the fire and everyone crowded around them.
"Hey...haven't you seen an interview before? Get! Get!" Marco jumped up and shooed the frightened crowd away who went back to what they were doing.
Marco turned back to Harry and sat down. "Now...I've got some questions to ask you.
"Number one...who do you have a crush on?"
Harry felt his face turn hot. "It's none of your business."
"Oh, come on..."
"Oh, no..."
"Please...want me to do the eyes..."
"Okay!" Harry felt very embarassed. "Cho Chang."
Marco gasped. He began to write something down. "Cho...Chang...is that spelled with one Q or seven?"
"It's spelled..."
"I know how it's spelled."
He began to write then he looked up at Harry. "Number two...do you like Ron, more than a best friend?"
Harry's mouth hung open. "You...you...you...no! No!"
Marco grinned. "Don't be so mad, it's only a question."
"Well, who writes these questions?"
Marco's smile faded. "Draco (cough) Malfoy. Ooh, cough still there."
"I heard you...you said, 'Dreamy (cough) Malfoo. I know who that is! I know who that...okay, you made it up, huh?"
Marco grinned, happy Harry was such an idiot. "Okay, question three...is it true that Voldemort killed your 'Mum' as you call it and dad?"
Harry gasped, shocked from Marco's stupidty. "Well, to be very blunt, duh."
"So that's a yes?"
Harry frowned.
"Okay...don't want that nut of a friend you've got after me again, all I need is another black eye.
"Question four...did you or did you not...er...what was it? Ah, yes did you or did you not try to kill Neville Longbottom?"
"Huh?"
"Never mind...it was only rumors, of course," said Marco, writing down and talking idly. "Not like anything is true, huh, Harry?"
"I have..."
"On to question five...what two people do you admire the most?"
Harry thought for a moment. "What do you mean?"
"Who's your...role model?"
Harry didn't have a role model, really. Not any he could think of. "I guess my mother and father."
Marco's eyes flooded with tears. "Your mother and father." He wrote this down also.
"Question (sniff) six...who are your greatest ene-"
"Draco Malfoy and Voldemort."
Marco looked at Harry. "Odd the way you can answer that so quickly." He wrote this down. "Now, question seven, who is your least favorite teach-"
"Snape."
"Okay. Question eight...if you could be with any two people for one day, who would they be?"
Harry thought. "My mom and my dad."
Marco wrote this down. "Question nine...do you remember your parents at all?"
Harry felt emotion flood to him. He could hear sad music playing somewhere. He sniffed. "As a boy, I-"
"Hold it." The music screeched to a stop and the chatter came back to Harry. "I need another page."
He took out more parchment. "Okay, as you were saying?"
"I don't remember them," Harry said, slightly disappointed Marco had ruined his big moment that he could have won an award for!
"Laaaast, oh, man, this parchment is messed up," he said. "Here...I'll copy this quick like and dispose of this!"
He tossed the parchment behind him. "OOOOOWWWW!"
Harry and Marco whirled around to see Seamus Finnigan clutching his eye. "It hit me! It hit me in the eye!"
Marco looked down. "Oh, I'm really sorry, dude."
Seamus began to cry.
"Hey, you'll live!" Marco cried after him as Dean Thomas and a few girls escorted him to the hospital wing. "Baby.
"Okay, laaaaaaaaaaaaast question...do you want to kill Voldemort?"
Harry felt a wave of anger course through. "Yes. Yes, I want to kill Voldemort for killing my parents, doing all these horrible things and trying to kill me...yes, yes yes, yes, yes, yes..."
"Dude...you can stop. I've got it."
Harry blushed. "Hehehe...he?"
"Hehehe...nothing, you're done." Marco stood up. "Gotta go put this in the paper..."
"In the...what?"
"The paper, Harry, the paper."
"Yeah, I know...what?"
Marco walked away. "I'm sorry, Harry, now...is there a way out of here.
"No."
"So I'm trapped for life?"
"You could Apparate or whatever."
"Do I look like a wizard to you?"
"No, but you look like a midget."
"That's it, buddy-"
"Oh, Ron..."
Marco frowned. "Look, I've got to go." He looked at his wrist. "Dude, see the time there? Skin thirty. Time to go." And with that, he went up in a puff of purple, sparkly smoke and he could heard Marco coughing.
Harry woke up the next morning feeling excitied. He was interviewed for a paper, although Marco hadn't said which one, he was sure it was a famous newspaper for such a famous boy.
"Hey, Seamus, your eye better?" asked Harry excitely as he dressed.
Seamus nodded. "Yeah, just paper cut above it. Lucky, huh?"
"Yeah..."
Harry walked outside and almost stepped on something. It was a paper labled "The Animorphs Times."
"The Animorphs Times..." said Harry. He flipped through when he caught something...it looked like Harry Potter...his interview!
Harry flipped back, and to his disappointment, it said Harry Potter on it, but it was "An Interview With Harry Potter's Underwear."
Could underwear be more interesting than he was? Harry felt sad suddenly, all the excitement for nothing.
So Harry read the underwear interview, which turned out to be quite good, better than he'd hoped and way more interesting questions...("Do you feel lonely when Harry isn't wearing you?")
Author's Note: Whoa, was that stupid or what? Haha! I wanted to write this for a while.
By: Paige Collins
There was nothing going on that day that had seemed a bit...er...unusual to Harry, except the fact that Hermione was actually not going to the library, which was extremely odd, but nothing else really weird.
Harry was sitting by Ron in a large armchair in the Gryffindor common room and he was having a nice little conversation about getting back at Snape. All their ideas, sadly, would result in their being expelled and Snape wasn't likely to live through any of it, but it they did any of it, they'd bet.
Snape would like that.
"I mean, we could...oh, this is good...picture it, okay? You, me, Snape and this...this creature...help me out, Harry...help me out."
"It's a...werewolf," said Harry excitely, his eyes blazing with excitement. "Oooh...it's a werewolf. What happens next?" He leaned closer to get hear better.
Ron grinned evilly. "I release it from it's cage and it runs and runs with the speed of light and there is Snape, standing there, unprotected by anything except for a...coat hanger. It graps Snape's leg and there's lots of blood."
Harry sighed. It was a dream that would never happen and he could only dream of something so great.
"But what if it doesn't kill him?"
Ron shrugged. "Plan B."
"What's that?"
"Ummm...more werewolves?"
Harry smiled...it didn't take much to amuse him. "Yeah!"
"Oh...are you doing your homework already...unless it includes Snape?" asked a voice behind them.
Harry saw a shadow was loomed over him and he threw his head back and saw Hermione's, upside down.
"Yeah," said Ron. "Our assigment is to make up a story of how we think Snape was as a child."
Harry shuddered. "Thank goodness that isn't our real assignment."
Ron laughed, but Hermione looked serious. "You really should get on your homework, now, before it's too late."
And then she walked away.
"'You really should get on your homework, now, before it's too late,'" said Ron in a very good Hermione voice. "What, is the end of the world coming and the only thing we can do is homework?"
Harry laughed softly. "She just likes getting good grades, that's all. Wish I was more like her...but then again, I don't sometimes."
And then, before Ron could say something, there was a loud sound.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Harry and Ron and quite a few other Gryffindors.
Someone had just appeared in the common room!
There was purple, sparkly smoke and for only a moment, Harry could only see a small figure within the smoke and soon, the figure emerged, waving his hand and coughing.
"Hey...(cough) is this the (cough, cough) Gryffindor common room?" (he coughed two more times.
The person was a boy, younger than Harry, and shorter than Harry. He had dark hair and skin and he looked pleased with himself. "I asked if this (cough, cough, cough) was the Gryff (cough) indor common room."
No one said anything and there was silence in the common room, where the only sounds were the boy coughing.
"What?"
No one dared say anything.
"Is it something you said?" he asked and laughed hard, which resulted in more coughing. "Man...gotta stop traveling that way. Gonna kill me." He sighed. "So, anyone of you...Harry Potter?"
Harry didn't feel scared. He was used to things like this, seeing as how everyone knew his name and he could almost feel the boy was going to say something like that. But he prayed the boy didn't know Harry.
But everyone in the room looked at Harry.
The boy smiled as he saw this and walked up and shook Harry's hand. "So...famous Harry Potter, huh?" He held out his hand. "Marco...just Marco."
Harry shook his hand, feeling nervous. It wasn't like everyday a boy named Marco showed up in your common room.
"Who are you?"
The boy smiled. "You may be famous, but you aren't smart," (Harry saw Ron clench his fists) "because I just said I was Marco. I'm a Animorph."
"What's a Animorph?"
Marco's smile faded. He told who he was, who the Animorphs were, who the Yeerks, were, who Britney Spear, since she seemed to keep popping up everywhere.
"...and then my pants fell down," said Marco. He clapped his hands together. "Any questions?"
No one said anything, but to everyone's surprise, someone's hand raised high up in the air and it wasn't Hermione's.
"Yes?"
It was Neville. He spoke in barely a whisper, as though he was scared. "Are you going to hurt us?"
Marco laughed harshly, which caused Neville to burst into tears. "No, no, no...dear boy, no. I'm simply here for an interview with Harry Potter."
Someone cleared their throat, who turned out to be Ron, and he stepped in front of Harry. "We don't take too kindly to reporters."
Marco shrunk back, since Ron was taller than he was. "Well, what if I told you I wasn't a reporter?"
"What do I look like, stupid?"
"Actually, yes."
Harry grabbed Ron's robes to hold him back. "What did you say? Say that like a man...no, you're a little girl, I forgot."
Marco put on a frown and put up his fists. "I'm ready to fight!"
"Let go, Harry!" Ron suddenly twisted free of Harry's grasp and was on Marco faster than...uh, (insert what Ron was faster then here.)
Harry gasped and ran over and had to drag Ron off of him, who was still punching and yelling, "Lemme at him! Lemme at him? Where is he?"
Marco crawled away. "He's nuts."
"Grrrrrr..."
Marco began to whimper.
Harry ignored all this. "Now...what were you saying?"
Marco took a deep breath. "I'm here to interview you."
"When?"
"Right now."
"Right now?"
"Uh-huh."
"Well..."
"Please?" Marco put on sad little puppy eyes. "Oh, please?"
Harry felt his eyes fill with tears. "P-poor little boy," he choked. "Come on, you can interview me."
They took a seat next to the fire and everyone crowded around them.
"Hey...haven't you seen an interview before? Get! Get!" Marco jumped up and shooed the frightened crowd away who went back to what they were doing.
Marco turned back to Harry and sat down. "Now...I've got some questions to ask you.
"Number one...who do you have a crush on?"
Harry felt his face turn hot. "It's none of your business."
"Oh, come on..."
"Oh, no..."
"Please...want me to do the eyes..."
"Okay!" Harry felt very embarassed. "Cho Chang."
Marco gasped. He began to write something down. "Cho...Chang...is that spelled with one Q or seven?"
"It's spelled..."
"I know how it's spelled."
He began to write then he looked up at Harry. "Number two...do you like Ron, more than a best friend?"
Harry's mouth hung open. "You...you...you...no! No!"
Marco grinned. "Don't be so mad, it's only a question."
"Well, who writes these questions?"
Marco's smile faded. "Draco (cough) Malfoy. Ooh, cough still there."
"I heard you...you said, 'Dreamy (cough) Malfoo. I know who that is! I know who that...okay, you made it up, huh?"
Marco grinned, happy Harry was such an idiot. "Okay, question three...is it true that Voldemort killed your 'Mum' as you call it and dad?"
Harry gasped, shocked from Marco's stupidty. "Well, to be very blunt, duh."
"So that's a yes?"
Harry frowned.
"Okay...don't want that nut of a friend you've got after me again, all I need is another black eye.
"Question four...did you or did you not...er...what was it? Ah, yes did you or did you not try to kill Neville Longbottom?"
"Huh?"
"Never mind...it was only rumors, of course," said Marco, writing down and talking idly. "Not like anything is true, huh, Harry?"
"I have..."
"On to question five...what two people do you admire the most?"
Harry thought for a moment. "What do you mean?"
"Who's your...role model?"
Harry didn't have a role model, really. Not any he could think of. "I guess my mother and father."
Marco's eyes flooded with tears. "Your mother and father." He wrote this down also.
"Question (sniff) six...who are your greatest ene-"
"Draco Malfoy and Voldemort."
Marco looked at Harry. "Odd the way you can answer that so quickly." He wrote this down. "Now, question seven, who is your least favorite teach-"
"Snape."
"Okay. Question eight...if you could be with any two people for one day, who would they be?"
Harry thought. "My mom and my dad."
Marco wrote this down. "Question nine...do you remember your parents at all?"
Harry felt emotion flood to him. He could hear sad music playing somewhere. He sniffed. "As a boy, I-"
"Hold it." The music screeched to a stop and the chatter came back to Harry. "I need another page."
He took out more parchment. "Okay, as you were saying?"
"I don't remember them," Harry said, slightly disappointed Marco had ruined his big moment that he could have won an award for!
"Laaaast, oh, man, this parchment is messed up," he said. "Here...I'll copy this quick like and dispose of this!"
He tossed the parchment behind him. "OOOOOWWWW!"
Harry and Marco whirled around to see Seamus Finnigan clutching his eye. "It hit me! It hit me in the eye!"
Marco looked down. "Oh, I'm really sorry, dude."
Seamus began to cry.
"Hey, you'll live!" Marco cried after him as Dean Thomas and a few girls escorted him to the hospital wing. "Baby.
"Okay, laaaaaaaaaaaaast question...do you want to kill Voldemort?"
Harry felt a wave of anger course through. "Yes. Yes, I want to kill Voldemort for killing my parents, doing all these horrible things and trying to kill me...yes, yes yes, yes, yes, yes..."
"Dude...you can stop. I've got it."
Harry blushed. "Hehehe...he?"
"Hehehe...nothing, you're done." Marco stood up. "Gotta go put this in the paper..."
"In the...what?"
"The paper, Harry, the paper."
"Yeah, I know...what?"
Marco walked away. "I'm sorry, Harry, now...is there a way out of here.
"No."
"So I'm trapped for life?"
"You could Apparate or whatever."
"Do I look like a wizard to you?"
"No, but you look like a midget."
"That's it, buddy-"
"Oh, Ron..."
Marco frowned. "Look, I've got to go." He looked at his wrist. "Dude, see the time there? Skin thirty. Time to go." And with that, he went up in a puff of purple, sparkly smoke and he could heard Marco coughing.
Harry woke up the next morning feeling excitied. He was interviewed for a paper, although Marco hadn't said which one, he was sure it was a famous newspaper for such a famous boy.
"Hey, Seamus, your eye better?" asked Harry excitely as he dressed.
Seamus nodded. "Yeah, just paper cut above it. Lucky, huh?"
"Yeah..."
Harry walked outside and almost stepped on something. It was a paper labled "The Animorphs Times."
"The Animorphs Times..." said Harry. He flipped through when he caught something...it looked like Harry Potter...his interview!
Harry flipped back, and to his disappointment, it said Harry Potter on it, but it was "An Interview With Harry Potter's Underwear."
Could underwear be more interesting than he was? Harry felt sad suddenly, all the excitement for nothing.
So Harry read the underwear interview, which turned out to be quite good, better than he'd hoped and way more interesting questions...("Do you feel lonely when Harry isn't wearing you?")
Author's Note: Whoa, was that stupid or what? Haha! I wanted to write this for a while.