Just a few stories that are actually real - as in me and my friends really are that stupid!
"Skul, I'm bored." Valkyrie groaned.
"Very nice to meet you bored, where's Val gone?" The Skeleton looked up.
She slapped his arm playfully, "You know what I mean. I'm feeling very bored, what should we do?"
"Have you got any playing cards?" Skulduggery asked.
"Yes?...Why?"
"I'm going to teach you how to play poker."
"Why would I need to know how to play poker?"
"Remember last time we went on a stakeout with other people, they suggested we played poker, you asked what it was so they laughed at you and you beat them up."
"Oh yeah, good times."
"So were are these cards?"
10 minutes later...
"Got them!" Valkyrie squeled.
"I'll teach you the rules of the game first, so..." Skulduggery explained the rules of the game to Valkyrie, setting the game up whilst he was at it.
15 minutes later...
"Ahh, Val you're never going to win with the hand I have!" Skulduggery said gleefully.
Valkyrie, who had never played the game before, started to grow worried. "Alright, I'll bet five then."
"Five it is." Skulduggery doubled her bet and watched as she struggled with her next move.
They played for a few more rounds before she crumpled.
"Fold." She said eventually, placing her cards on the table.
"I win." Skulduggery said as he took his winnings from the table.
"Wait, what did you have?" Valkyrie asked, curious to see if he had rigged the deck somehow.
Skulduggery placed his cards in front of him. Valkyrie stared.
"You had junk?!" She said quietly, not believing that he had tricked her so easily.
"Yes, I did." Skulduggery answered smugly. "You know for a detective, you're quite slow at spotting a bluff."
"You had junk!" Val said raising her voice.
"That's what I just said isn't Val, you know how I hate repeating myself."
She growled as she pushed at the wind and launched herself at him, sending many cards fling in the proccess.
5 minutes later...
"I hate you." She announced as she fell to the floor. Skulduggery, for his part, watched as his partner fell onto the floor in a over-dramatic heap.
"You know we'll have to find that card sooner or later."
Valkyrie got up cursing the Jack of Hearts under her breath as she searched for the card.
After a full half hour spent in vain the duo collapsed on the nearby sofa, "We'll never find that card." Valkyrie muttered.
1 week later...
Valkrie stared at the ceiling, utterly bored out of her mind. She switched her gaze to the nearby light, that damn light had something stuck next to the lightbulb and it was blocking some of it's glow.
She got up, curious as to see what thought they could hide in her lampshade and get away with it. Squinting at the light, she glanced at the light. The object blocking the light, was thin and rectangular and for the life of her she couldn't think what it was.
Cautiously she reached up, being careful she snatched the small object from it's hiding place and glared at it. So that's where it went.
"Hey, Skulduggery!" She called. "I found the Jack of Hearts!"
