One-shot for Psycho Therapist. I thought they did the episode justice but, this is how I wish it would have ended. We all know by now that Elliot is not going to return to SVU so I decided write a little something about that. Hope you enjoy!
Sorry for any mistakes. I wrote this on very little sleep but, I really wanted to post it.
After the trial with Lewis and Olivia's mental breakdown, Brian took Olivia home.
Brian noticed how red her eyes were and he knew it finally got to her. She broke down. She finally broke down. He knew it needed to happen for her to be able to move forward but, he wished he was there to comfort her.
Olivia was aware of how fragile she seemed in front of Brian. Tonight, she didn't try to hide it. Why should she? People in relationships are supposed to comfort each other.
Olivia was surprised with how gentle Brian has been throughout this whole thing.
He never knew how to deal with victims.
Olivia quickly shook that thought out of her head.
Olivia Benson is not a victim; she's a survivor.
After Brian got her changed into comfy clothes, he guided her to their bed. "I'm going to go make you some tea." He gave her a gently kiss on her forehead and left the room.
Olivia lay in bed, emotionally exhausted from the trial. She wasn't totally satisfied with the outcome of the trial but, she was relieved that it was all over and that he's been put away.
Olivia was never one to break down and cry about things. It took her by surprise when she broke down like that. It had only happened once before. When she found out Elliot put his papers in. She never knew she could cry so hard for anyone or anything. She didn't know she had it in her.
She wondered if Elliot knew about the trial. If he knew about her four days spent with the most sadistic human being to walk the face of the earth.
Maybe he didn't know, she thought. He would've been there.
There was no need to dwell on someone in her past. She had a bright future ahead of her with her boyfriend and friends. She would be okay.
Brian walked back into their bedroom with a steaming mug in his hands. He walked over to her side and handed her the hot liquid then took a seat on the other side of the bed.
"How're you feeling?" he asked, not knowing how she would answer. He just hoped she wouldn't say she's okay because he knows she's anything but.
Olivia took a sip of her tea and looked over at him. "Relieved that it's all over."
Brian nodded. "Me too. It took everything in me not to kill the bastard."
"Me too," she joked.
Brian stroke back the strand of hair that fell in her face. "Liv, you know that you could tell me anything, right? I'm always going to be here for you and I don't want you to hold back how you're feeling, okay?"
Olivia looked down at the mug in her hands. "I know. Knowing that I have you, is the only thing that will get me through this. I really do appreciate your support, even though I have been difficult to deal with."
Brian took her free hand in his. "You're going to get through this because you're a survivor. You have all of our support but, you'll get through this because you're so strong. One of the strongest people I've ever met. But even strong people need to let it out sometimes."
She smiled and nodded. "On one of the worst days of my life, you still manage to make me smile."
He grinned. "That's what I'm here for."
Brian leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on her lips. "You look exhausted. You should get some rest," he suggested.
"Can you stay with me?" she asked. She wanted nothing more than to be in his arms at the moment.
"Of course."
Olivia set her mug on the nightstand then they got into a comfortable position with Olivia laying her head on Brian's chest.
He stroked her hair until he heard her soft breathing, indicating she had fallen asleep.
SVU~SVU~SVU
Olivia woke up the next morning feeling somewhat better. It was going to take time to get herself back to normal but, she was willing to try.
She noticed that Brian wasn't lying next to her anymore. She walked over to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. Then she headed towards the kitchen where she can smell breakfast.
"Hey."
Brian turned around at the sound of her soft voice. "Morning." He walked over to her took her in a gently hug. "How'd you sleep?"
"Great, surprisingly," she answered.
He pulled back and walked over to the stove. "You hungry?"
"Starving."
"Have a seat and I'll fix you a plate."
She did as she was told and waited until he set a plate of hot food in front of her. He then took a seat next to her with his plate.
"Are you working today?"
"No, Tucker gave me the day off. He figured I should be there for you."
She raised her eyebrows. "Tucker said that?"
Brian laughed. "He's not too bad of a guy. You'd be surprised."
"So you two are buddies now?" She smiled.
"Oh God, no," Brian scoffed. "I wouldn't go that far."
She laughed and shook her head. "Well, I'm glad."
SVU~SVU~SVU
Olivia was just getting out of the shower when she heard a knock on the front door. "Brian, can you get that?" she called out.
Brian heard the soft knocking and walked over to the door. They weren't expecting company.
As he opened the door, he couldn't help but be shocked.
Olivia finished getting dressed and walked into the living room. "Who's at the door?"
Brian opened the door a little more to reveal their guest.
Olivia stood there, frozen in place. She couldn't believe he was actually standing there.
Elliot Stabler was standing at her front door after three years with no word.
"Um, come in." Brian was the first to speak.
Elliot walked in and Brian closed the door behind him.
"Liv," Elliot started.
"How'd you get my address?" Olivia asked.
"Cragen."
Olivia looked at Brian and he knew she was asking him for time alone with Elliot.
"I'm going to go run a few errands," Brian told them.
Once they were left alone, Olivia was still in shock. Three years of nothing and he just shows up unannounced.
Olivia took a seat on the loveseat while Elliot sat in the chair next to it.
"So you and Cassidy?" Elliot tried.
"Why are you here? After three years, you think now is the time to show up?" she asked, calmly. She wasn't angry. She was too emotional to be angry.
"I heard what happened. I was going to come to the trial but, you were already going through so much, I didn't want to add on to the stress."
She nodded but, stayed quiet. She didn't know what to say to him.
"Liv, I know I screwed up badly here. I feel so guilty for what happened. I should've been there. I should've been there not only as your partner, but as your friend too. I should've been there when I heard."
Olivia could feel the tears stinging in the back of her eyes.
"I know you don't owe me anything but, please just tell me if he-"
She knew what he was asking. "He didn't. That's the one thing he didn't do to me," she answered quietly.
"Oh Liv, I'm so sorry. I know my apology won't change anything but, I am sorry. I put my own selfish needs before the people that matter most to me. I know you can't forgive me and that I can't make up those three years but, I want to try. I was in such a bad place that I not only left the squad, but I left you. You don't deserve that. You don't deserve to hurt because of my mistakes," Elliot explained, not bothering to wipe the tears that made their way down his cheeks.
"El, I was mad at you for a really long time. I didn't understand why you left without talking to me and why you ignored me for those three years. It was really hard on me and hard on the people around me. I could only imagine how unbearable I was to be around."
"Liv-"
"No, let me finish," she told him.
He nodded.
"I was hurt that you didn't left without a word. I was hurt that those thirteen years together didn't mean anything to you-"
"Olivia, those thirteen years mean everything to me. Not a day went by where I didn't think about you or think about how bad I wanted to just hear your voice. You always knew how to make things better but, I was so drowned in my own self-pity that I pushed the people that I care about the most away."
Olivia wiped the tears that were now running down her face. "Elliot, I've been through so much the past few months and I needed you. I needed you to be there for me. I needed you to tell me everything was going to okay."
Elliot never hated himself more than he did at this moment.
"But I'm not mad anymore. I thought I was going to die. I thought I was going to die before ever seeing you again. You know, I told him about you. How you would know what to do with him. How you wouldn't let him get away with what he did to me," she explained.
"I would've killed him. I would've killed him with no regrets," he told her.
She nodded and bit her lip. "I know."
Elliot took a deep breath. "Olivia, I know I can't go back and change everything. I just hope you will let me back into your life. I promise you, I won't mess up this time. I know you hate me-"
"I could never hate you. Elliot, I just need my friend back."
"I'm not going anywhere this time," Elliot reassured her. He walked over to her and sat next to her. He took her in his arms and was surprised by how she willingly climbed on to him. "I'm sorry for everything."
It felt so good to be in his arms. Although, she went through the worst possible nightmare, her future was looking brighter. She had an amazing boyfriend, amazing friends, and her best friend back. That void in her heart was finally full again.