Author's Note: Hullo, AngelRosemary here! Recently, I have watched several Yu-Gi-Oh Pairing Meme videos on YouTube. For those who are unaware, this meme allows one to choose their favorite pairing from a number of categories, including favorite:

Male/Male

Female/Female

Male/Female

Endgame (The pairing that one thinks should most likely end up together)

First OTP (One True Pairing, a.k.a. the first pairing that one became interested in)

Guilty Pleasure (The pairing that one enjoys, despite the feeling that one shouldn't)

Crack (The pairing that would most likely only result from the use of drugs on the characters' or the writers' part)

Anti-Pairing (The pairing that one believes is the least likely to occur)

Because I do not possess an account on YouTube, I've decided to share my opinion here instead. You're welcome.

Each chapter will include an explanation for the pairing chosen for each category as well as a oneshot. Keep in mind that I have only watched the first three seasons of Yu-Gi-Oh and the entirety of The Abridged Series. None of my stories will be serious, but I will try to keep the Abridged humor to a minimum. (Well, except for one story. I'll bet that you can't guess which pairing is going to make an appearance now.)

Now, on to the first category!

Disclaimer: I am not the creator of Yu-Gi-Oh, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, or Toy Story.

Category: Male/Male

Pairing: Marik Ishtar and Yami Bakura (a.k.a. Thiefshipping)

Why: This choice was probably obvious if you have read any of my previous Yu-Gi-Oh stories. I watched the entirety of Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series before I began to watch the original series. I don't think that there are as many Thiefshipping hints in the original series as Little Kuriboh seems to imply, but I still think that this pairing does have more solid ground in the original than a few other popular Yu-Gi-Oh pairings. At least Marik and Bakura actually interact with each other fairly frequently in Season 2. One could also argue that their relationship is the only somewhat positive one that Yami Bakura engages in. Finally, let's face it, their arguments in the duel against Yami Marik are akin to those of a married couple. As for the Abridged, do I even have to argue for that? If Bakura was really just lusting for Marik, wouldn't he have jumped him by now? And Marik's lavender belly shirt, exposed midriff, and feminine stances speak for themselves.

As I stated earlier, this story will feature the Abridged characters. Writing Canonized Thiefshipping is much more subtle and difficult to do, and since I am anything but subtle, I don't feel that I have the right to attempt it. With no further ado, enjoy my first oneshot.

"Marik, stop crying. It was just a bloody bird."

Marik sniffled, raising his head from his pillow to address the fluffy albino leaning in his doorway. "He was more than just a bird. What we had was special!" He buried his face again, emitting a muffled sob.

Bakura sighed. Marik hadn't been too affected by Bakura's revelation to stop recording his play-through, so Bakura had hoped that the two of them could laugh it off and Marik would forget about it. No such luck. Marik had burst into tears the second he had turned the game off.

Bakura silently entered Marik's room, seating himself on the bed and putting his hand on Marik's shoulder. He kept it there, rubbing comforting circles with his thumb until Marik's sobs faded into sniffs and the occasional hiccup. "Marik…" Bakura grunted, prompting Marik to speak. Talking through things usually calmed Marik down, and Bakura knew that he needed to keep Marik calm. Marik gave a shuddery sigh, flipping himself over to face Bakura. Bakura squeezed Marik's shoulder, resisting the urge to put his hand on the tearstained face.

Marik wiped his eyes with his wrist. "You…don't understand, Bakura. Mr. Tweetums was the first friend that I made outside of the tombs."

Bakura swallowed, desiring to comfort Marik without looking too soft. "Oh, come on, Marik. We're villains, remember? Villains don't need friends. Besides, you still have me, right? You still have your…partner."

Marik narrowed his eyes, rolling to his side to turn his back to Bakura. "My partner is the one who killed my only friend."

Bakura let out an exasperated breath. "He died of old age, Marik. I merely buried him for you."

"Oh, so you just deprived him of a proper funeral?"

"What do you want me to do, Marik?! Drive out to the middle of the desert and dig up his rotting corpse?"

Marik turned his head back to look at Bakura. "Hey, don't get frustrated with me! You're the one that buried my bird without telling me."

At this point, Bakura was too annoyed to worry about Marik's alter ego. "It was just an animal, Marik! Honestly, how is someone a soft as you ever going to defeat the Pharaoh?!"

Bakura froze. He realized too late that Marik probably wouldn't take that well. He winced as Marik rose abruptly to his feet. However, Marik merely walked to the door. He said, without facing Bakura, "I'm going out. Don't forget that it's your turn to make dinner." He exited the room. Bakura didn't relax until he heard the front door close behind Marik. He sighed, standing up and walking to the kitchen. It was already 5:00 PM, and Marik never stayed away for very long after one of their arguments. He pulled the beef out of the refrigerator.

An hour later, Bakura placed two plates of tacos on either end of the small, round table. He glanced at their wall clock, the white, cat-shaped clock with its tail swinging as a pendulum that Marik had stolen from a yard sale. It read 6:00 PM. "Marik usually doesn't stay out for more than an hour…" Bakura thought wistfully. He walked towards the door, intending to put on his shoes and go look for Marik. However, as he bent down to tie the laces of white tennis shoes, the door creaked open. Bakura stood abruptly, stepping swiftly backwards for fear that Marik would swing the door open and crack his skull. However, for once, Marik opened the door slowly, without his usual enthusiasm. He stepped inside, his expression blank.

"Oh, hey, Bakura," Marik said calmly. Bakura furrowed his brow. Marik wasn't one to hold a grudge…well, unless it was one towards the Pharaoh…or his father…or Melvin…OK, well, Marik usually didn't hold a grudge against Bakura, anyway. Most of the time, when they argued, Marik would take a walk to clear his head and come bounding back through the door an hour or less later, often with inspiration for another ridiculous scheme. This time, he was just as cold as he had been when he left.

Bakura coughed awkwardly into his fist. "So…"

"Don't worry. I forgive you for what you said."

"That's…good."

Marik blinked before walking past Bakura to his room.

"Oi! Marik, I made tacos!"

"I'm not hungry, thank you."

Bakura watched Marik retreat to his room. He sighed as he heard the door click shut and walked back to the kitchen to eat his tacos.

A few hours later, Bakura decided to check on Marik. He opened the door slowly, peeking inside. Marik appeared to already be asleep. His arms were wrapped around a pillow, and his face was red again.

Bakura shook his head. He quietly shut the door and proceeded to the front door to put on his shoes.

(THE NEXT DAY)

Bakura woke up to pressure on his stomach. He cracked an eye open to see the bright, amethyst eyes of Marik. "Wake up, Fluffy. Come on, you've got to see it!"

Bakura wrinkled his nose. "Ugh, Marik, you have morning breath…" He took a pillow out from under his head to put it over his face, only for it to be snatched away and flung across the room.

"Get up, sleepy head! I want you to see it!"

"See what?"

"Just come on!" Marik climbed off Bakura and stood over him expectantly. Bakura groaned, rolling over and pushing himself to all fours so he could stretch his back, yawning as he pushed his bottom into the air.

"Quit being such a kitty and come on!"

Bakura grunted and swung his feet over the side of the bed. He allowed Marik to drag him by the hand back to his own room. Marik slammed the door open and made a grand sweeping gesture with his arm to the object in the center of his room. "Ta-da! Isn't it brilliant, Fluffy?"

A large, wire bird cage sat on the floor, and perched inside this cage was a bright yellow canary. The cage already had torn newspaper scattered across the bottom and a bag of bird seed leaned against it.

Bakura quirked a brow. "Well, where did this come from?"

Marik released Bakura's hand, skipping to the cage. "I don't know! It was here when I woke up." He bounded back to Bakura, taking his hands. "Oh, honey, what will we name it?"

Bakura's lip twitched. "Well, it's in your room, Marik, so you get to name it."

Marik's eyes glittered as he smiled even brighter. "His name shall be Mr. Tweetums Jr." Bakura watched as Marik approached the cage, squatting down and opening the wire door. "Come, Mr. Tweetums Jr." The canary hopped off its perch onto Marik's outstretched finger and chirped pleasantly as Marik pulled it out, holding the bird up to his face. "Oh, Bakura, I love him!" He beamed, sticking his hand back into the cage for the bird to return to its perch. He ripped open the bag of seed, intending to feed his new pet. "Where do you think he came from, Bakura?" Marik asked, keeping his eyes on the bird.

"I haven't the foggiest idea," Bakura replied, smiling slightly. "Perhaps you have a secret admirer."

"Oh, that's exciting! I mean, of course I have many admirers, seeing as how gorgeous I am, but I've never had an admirer who kept their admiration as a secret." Suddenly, Marik's face fell. "Wait a second…how did my secret admirer know that Mr. Tweetums passed away?" Marik gasped. "Do you think she's set up cameras in here?"

Bakura shifted uncomfortably. He had hoped that Marik wouldn't question the origin of the bird. The secret admirer was a detail that Bakura had thought of at the top of his head. "Um…"

"That must be the case, Fluffy! Quick, help me search the apartment for hidden cameras."

"Um, actually, I haven't had breakfast yet, Marik. Just don't make a mess looking for the cameras, OK?"

Marik's shoulders drooped. "Oh, alright. I'll try not to." He opened the cage door again, sticking his finger out for the canary. "We must investigate, Mr. Tweetums Jr." The bird hopped onto his finger, from which Marik allowed it to climb onto his shoulder. Luckily, the bird was unable to fly, and Marik took care to walk slowly enough for the bird to avoid falling off.

Bakura sat at the kitchen table, eating a buttered English muffin and drinking a cup of tea as he watched Marik examine every nook and cranny of the apartment. Marik was true to his word, replacing items that he moved as he went. An hour later, Bakura left the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. He entered his room to find Marik laying on his stomach in his bed, without the bird, presumably waiting to give Bakura his verdict.

"Well?" Bakura prompted, turning to his dresser.

"Mr. Tweetums Jr. and I didn't find any cameras." Marik concluded sulkily. "There's only one explanation."

"And that is?" Bakura asked, pulling out his shirt with blue and white horizontal stripes and a pair of blue jeans.

"The cameras must be too small to be seen!"

Bakura dropped his towel, keeping his back to Marik. He heard rustling on his bed. "I suppose that can't be helped. Oh well." He pulled the blue jeans up. "You can look now, Marik." Bakura turned to see Marik flip back over to face him.

"I suppose not," Marik agreed. He looked thoughtful as he watched Bakura pull his shirt over his head. Suddenly, his face lit up. He smiled sneakily. "GEE, BAKURA, I LOVE MY NEW BIRD, BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY?!"

Bakura gave him an annoyed glare. "Marik, what are you blathering on about? Stop shouting."

Marik ignored him. "WELL, I'LL TELL YOU. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED A BUZZ LIGHTYEAR ACTION FIGURE. I WOULD LOVE WHOEVER GAVE ME ONE OF THOSE." He smiled smugly. "There."

Bakura narrowed his eyes. "What are you doing?"

Marik giggled, and motioned for Bakura to come closer. Marik brushed Bakura's hair away from his ear and cupped his hands around it, whispering, "Look, the hidden cameras are creepy, but I think that I can take advantage of this situation."

Bakura frowned and pulled away. "Marik, I- I mean, your secret admirer, might not necessarily have money. You can't expect 'her' to st- I mean, buy you whatever you ask for."

Marik wasn't listening again. He sighed dreamily and flopped on his back onto the bed. "I can't wait to get my Buzz Lightyear! I've wanted one ever since I was a child in the tombs." He smiled sweetly at Bakura, gazing at him with his radiant eyes. "If I had my own pet bird and a Buzz Lightyear, my life would be complete. I wouldn't need anything else to be happy."

Bakura grunted, tearing his gaze away from his partner's innocent eyes. "So, what's on the agenda for today?"

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you! I saw something on my walk yesterday that I just know we can use for an evil scheme. You see, there were these children playing hopscotch…"

(THE NEXT DAY)

"BAKURA, LOOK! LOOK!"

Bakura groaned when he felt Marik straddling his waist again. "Can't you let me get one decent night of sleep?" He opened his eyes to examine the Buzz Lightyear action figure that had been shoved into his face.

Marik squealed, hugging the toy to his chest. "I can't believe that worked!" He hopped off Bakura's bed and ran in circles around the room, holding the toy in the air. "BUZZ LIGHTYEAR TO THE RESCUE!"

Bakura rolled over, refusing to let Marik see him smile. "Yes, I'm glad that you like your toy. Now get out of here, you little brat."

Marik pranced to the other side of the bed, putting his nose to Bakura's. "What do you think I should ask for tonight, Kitty?"

Bakura sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Marik, I already told you that you shouldn't take advantage of this person."

Marik scrunched his nose and pulled away. "Since when did you care about being moral?"

Bakura looked at him seriously. "I don't. I'm a highly unethical person. But, Marik, despite your evil plan to defeat the Pharaoh, you are still a genuinely kind person. A kind person who donates money to charities and takes care of animals. You inspire me every day to-"

Marik sighed dramatically. "Silence! Enough preaching, Bakura. Frig, you know how creeped out I get when you start complimenting me. It's just not natural. Just let me do it one more time, OK? I promise this will be something small."

"Whatever."

"GEE BAKURA, I REALLY LOVE MR. TWEETUMS JR. AND MY NEW BUZZ LIGHTYEAR. IF ONLY I HAD A DIAMOND RING, I-"

"WHAT?!" Bakura spluttered.

Marik shrugged. "I said that it would be small, not cheap. Why would I waste my last wish on something cheap?"

Bakura blinked. He groaned and fell back on his bed. "Alright, Marik."

The day passed with another evil scheme involving playing jacks. (Honestly, Marik was just looking for an excuse to go to the playground at the park now.) After Marik lay down for the night, Bakura put on his shoes again. One jewelry store theft later, Bakura returned with the ring. He slowly opened the door, as he had the previous two nights, and peeked inside, seeing Marik's peaceful face illuminated by the light of his Mega Ultra Chicken nightlight. Buzz Lightyear rested on the pillow next to him. He pushed the door all the way open and stepped inside. As he took a step, his foot snagged on something. "What the-" He yelped as his foot was yanked out from under him.

"Ah-hah! Gotcha!"

Marik's bedside lamp flickered to life. Bakura was revealed to be hanging upside down in Marik's doorway.

"Oh, Bakura! You triggered my trap! How am I supposed to catch my secret admirer now?!"

Bakura flailed awkwardly. "Marik, what in buggery is this?! Get me down!"

Marik huffed, sitting up. He swung his legs off his bed and stalked over to Bakura. "Bakura, do you realize how difficult that was to set up?" He pushed Bakura's body as he passed through the door.

"Where do you think you're going?!"

"I'm going to get a ladder, dumbass!"

Bakura would have shouted a comeback, but he was starting to have trouble breathing. Desperately, he pulled his pocket knife out of his pocket. This pocket also happened to contain the ring, which fell to the floor.

"Bakura, don't do that! I don't want to have to steal another kit."

Bakura continued to flail around, trying to reach the rope tied around his ankle. Marik rolled his eyes, setting up the stepping stool. He kneeled down, putting his arm around Bakura's back and scooping him up as he climbed the ladder. Bakura gasped in relief as Marik held him upright.

"Honestly, Bakura, the King of Thieves can't escape a rope? I think you're losing your touch," Marik teased, using one hand to loosen the knot on the rope. Bakura scowled, silent. Marik smirked. "What were you doing in my doorway, anyway?"

"I…" Bakura didn't have time to think of an excuse before Marik freed his foot. Unfortunately, Marik was not prepared for the extra weight that the rope had previously supported. He yelped as he and Bakura tumbled backwards, into Marik's room.

"Yow…" Marik groaned, reaching behind his head. "What the frig…" He picked up the ring, staring at it in awe. "Bakura…" Bakura blushed when he saw the ring. He scrambled to climb off Marik, only for Marik to roll them over so that he straddled Bakura. "Not so fast, partner."

Bakura screwed his eyes shut, turning his head away from Marik. Marik smirked. "Ha! Who's too soft now?"

"I am not soft!" Bakura snapped, whipping his head around to look at Marik. "Look, you were just being irritating, whining about your precious Mr. Tweetums, and I couldn't stand to listen to your annoying complaining anymore."

"You mean, it broke your heart to see me sad?"

"I don't care at all about you!" Bakura roared, narrowing his eyes. "How could I care about the most idiotic, infuriating, insufferable-" Marik continued to smile, raising a hand to cup Bakura's cheek. Bakura flushed at the contact. "…senseless, m-maddening…"

Marik raised his other hand to put a finger on Bakura's lips, shushing him. "Bakura… despite your evil plan to defeat the Pharaoh, you are still a genuinely kind person. A kind person who helps me in my charity drives and puts up with me..." He took his finger away and nuzzled Bakura's nose with his own, giving him an eskimo kiss. Bakura felt his heart thump in his chest.

"…a kind person who did pretty much the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me." Marik's innocent smile twisted into a smirk. "I think that you've earned a reward."

Bakura gulped and looked away, shyly. "Oh? And, what might that be?" His heart skipped a beat when he felt something soft on his cheek. He opened his mouth to comment, but Marik cut him off.

"This doesn't mean that I'm gay! I'm just returning the favor. This is strictly business. Yeah, business…"

"Hm. Whatever you say, partner."

"Excellent!" Marik grinned. "Anyway, that one was for Mr. Tweetums Jr. This one-" Marik gave him smooch on the nose, "-is for Buzz Lightyear, this one-" a peck on the forehead, "-is for the ring, and this-"Marik smiled playfully at Bakura's flushed face, "-is for being such a sweetheart." He pressed his lips to Bakura's, giving him a short, yet passionate, kiss.

Bakura babbled something incoherent when Marik pulled away. "What was that?" Marik asked, smugly.

Bakura coughed, trying to pull himself together. "Hm, I said, I'm pretty sure that this isn't the only nice thing that I've ever done for you…"

Marik smiled, threading his hand through Bakura's hair. "Oh?"

"Yes." Bakura added, "Also, you've done nice things for me in the past as well."

"I suppose we both have a debt to pay." Marik nuzzled his neck. "We'll have to settle an agreement tomorrow. I'm tired." He climbed off Bakura, offering a hand to help him up. Bakura sighed, reluctantly using Marik to pull himself up. He turned to exit, but Marik didn't release his hand. "You know…we could get a head start on those arrangements if you sleep here tonight…" At the excited look on Bakura's face, he added sternly, "And by sleep, I mean sleep."

Bakura's face fell slightly. "You're no fun." Marik giggled, bounding over to his bed. Bakura climbed in next to him, not caring that he was still wearing his clothes. He pulled the switch on the lamp and turned to the warm body next to him, wrapping his arms around it.

"Aw, you cuddle too, Kitty?"

"…shut your buggering face."