I own nothing but ideas and the desire to entertain.

Welcome guys and gals, this story is going to be a bit different from normal ICARLY stuff. It is Seddie but much more than that. It is more about life. The 1stfew chapters I have planned are more on the sad side but if you stick through I promise this story will give everything romance, humor family etc. There will be new people introduced and old friends brought back.

This is Sam's Journey…

I am alone in the dressing room….. 4 years in the making…. All the work I have done…. Comes to this…

As the crowd waits in anticipation they begin to chant…

JMB….JMB….JMB

Those chants are for you…. The band…. The music…

I sit in the dressing room 5 minutes to show…. I wonder is it worth it…?

Most people would kill for this opportunity… to live the rock star life…

It's funny the closer I got to getting this the less I wanted it…

The more I wanted…..another chance…

I know what he said was because….

I just wish I would have done it differently…

Yes this is what I wanted… I wanted to have this career… this life…

But I don't feel complete…..

I just want another chance…

Was he still waiting….

Was he …

Knock. Knock. Knock

"It's time to go on."

"OK" I respond.

Funny as ready as I am for this….I wish I wasn't alone tonight.

I step out towards the stage. I hear the crowd… my band is getting pumped

JMB… JMB…JMB… the crowd continues to chant.

I turn to grab my mic. And the biggest surprise I have had in all of my life…well second…. But this was just as good.

"Hey beautiful… I always knew you would make it…" he said.

I stand there like a stupid high school kid again.

"You really don't think I would miss the love of my life's 1st cross country tours opening city?" he says

I look at him "Wha…What are you doing here?"

I haven't spoken to him in 4 long years I couldn't apologize for following my dream but I wanted to so many times.

"I wanted to come to you so many times but I wanted… you to succeed more, I waited and knew when the time would be right…" he said looking into my eyes.

"I have so much to say…" It's true I really did, so many things I wanted to say I was sorry for how I left things. Say sorry for not calling all that time.

He stops me "You will get to say them… I love you… go be great! I will be waiting for you when it's done."

With that I took the stage and for the first time felt comfortable up there. I have done tons of shows…yes this was my first as the main event… but a peace was missing and now I feel whole again.

The crowd was electric and it was one of the best shows we have ever put on. I think it was because he was there. It was funny I almost wanted to have the show end earlier than the set just to get back to him.

I always kept my personal life quiet… interviews always ask that question anyone special? I always answered the same way. "There is… I hope he knows how special he is and I know that it is hard with me gone all the time on my journey, but there is no one else for me."

I kinda hoped he would watch one of the interviews. See that response and reach out to me. Until today I had lost hope that I ruined everything.

We were about to walk off stage I looked right at him and smiled… the crowd yelled for an encore.

I walk off stage and grab a bottle of water from him. I hug him and still cannot believe he is here.

"They want more of you" he said

"I want more of you" I responded.

"I'm not going anywhere… I will be waiting for you. Give them what they want Princess."He said as he gave me a kiss on my forehead as he has done so many times before

I hadn't heard that in a while, I got butterflies. "You know that was the best thing that has happened to me in 4 years" I say as I give him a hug again and a small peck on the lips before heading back out there.

The rest of the show is flawless. I run off stage and tell him to meet me at my hotel so we can talk. He agreed.

I go back stage with the band and do what needs to be done with autographs and pictures and all I can think about is on his way back to my hotel room. When everyone is done we head to the limo and start going back to the hotel. We have a flight in 12 hours to our next show in San Francisco. I knew I wouldn't get any sleep. I had to convince him to come with me on top of well catch up. And most importantly let him know how sorry I am for everything and the way it turned out. I think back to how it went.

FLASHBACK

I am sitting in my desk looking over a contract that has my hopes and dreams in written form.

"Hey Sam, what you got there?" He said

I knew this wasn't the time but I couldn't avoid it any longer.

"It…well it's something I have been working on." I reply

He walked to me at our desk. We had been living together during our 1st year of college.

"That looks like a contract… what's going on?" he said while giving me a look of anger and sadness

"It is a contract I actually wanted to tell you tonight and have you look it over."

"Sam…what… this says you leave onto an opening act tour next month…" He looked at me with a look I have never seen before

"Come with me…"I say to him

"Come to what Sam… Life of the road what am I supposed to do what if it doesn't work out right away?"

"Of all people I thought you would understand most. I love you how can you say what if it doesn't work out?"

"I didn't say that it won't work out I said what if it doesn't happen right away? Do I just pause my life too until it does work out. I know that you will make it but I know that this road is long and winding and could take years." He said concerned

I don't know why but I was upset "I didn't expect this from you."

"Expect what all I am saying is that this is one dream I can't follow you on. I will be here finishing my dream and waiting for you." He said with love in his eyes but a broken heart. He already knew my answer

"You can't or won't? I guess this is how you feel about me and my dream?" I signed the contract looked back at him "I guess I will be leaving in a month… I will find a place to crash maybe at Carly's it may be easier that way." I didn't mean to say that I didn't mean to be that way but you know me I'm stupid sometimes and say before I think.

He looked at me for the 1st time in a few minutes. There were tears running down his face.
"No you don't need to go anywhere, I thought… you know what it doesn't seem to matter what I think no matter what I say you take it the way you want to and it seems that the decision was made without even talking to me anyway. I need to get out of here" he said while grabbing his jacket.

"When are you coming back" I say to him.

"Don't worry I will stay out of your hair and won't bother you. It will be like you have the place all to yourself" he slammed the door

I thought this is not the way I had thought this would go down. I knew he wouldn't be happy but… I don't know why it went that way. He was trying to be supportive I guess I know why he wouldn't want to go. I know this will work I have that same feeling 3 years ago at the lock in. I just know this is the right thing and that it WILL WORK.

I start to go through some things knowing my time is limited before I have to go, since it seems he isn't coming back tonight. I find a scrap book he was always in but I had never wanted to look through that's not really my style. It was like the history of us. Looking through it was great from the start of ICARLY to now. I was going to ask him if I could take this for the trip. I turned to the last page… Blank no pictures just an envelope. Well you know I cannot just let something I am curious about sit there… I take the envelope out of the sleeve and begin to open it. Oh man I love that place the reservation is for the 9th of April. How fitting 4 years to the day. I thought I won't be here for that… maybe that's why he was so upset. I begin to put back the envelope when something fell out and under the bed. I look for it when I see it … its…its…I jump up and hit my head on the bed I have to turn on the lights to make sure I am seeing what I am seeing. Oh my god this is why he is….

End Flashback

"Sam we are 2 minutes from the Hotel but you have a call" Said the Driver

"Sure I'll take it pass it through" I responded

It was my manager who was already at the hotel.

"Hey… um Sam…" He starts

"Wow I thought you would be more excited after the show we just put on Nate" I said

"Sam I need to tell you something can you just listen."

"oh um ok" I replied

"Sam, there has been … um … this is horrible I don't want to say this but something has happened."

The driver is pulling up to the Hotel and there are flashing lights everywhere.

"What is going on there are police and ambulance everywhere."

"Yea… Sam there has been a shooting….Paul…"

I hear what he is saying and I cannot believe this "Oh my god is Paul ok? What happened?" I say panicked

I hear it in Nate's Voice that he is ok which, is a relief. "Yeah Sam Paul is going to make it…but."

Its ok I thought just a delay on the tour the fans would surly understand.

"Your friend"

Before he could say what he was going to my heart sank and tears were already flowing down my face.

"He… he didn't make it… I am so sorry Sam…. when everything went down he went to check on Paul and the robber was still there and shot him and"

"STOP IT….. NO….it can't be… not now… not after waiting this long…."

I run out of the car there are cameras everywhere they are all screaming my name and all I can do is look on as they move him out of the hotel covered on the gurney. I drop to my knees and scream violently as I hadn't done in years

Nate runs to me "Let's get inside quick"

I stand up and start to look at the crowd of reporters they were all asking questions about the show, when is the next date.

I get that feeling that I haven't had in the pit of my stomach since those girls grabbed Freddie at that stupid webbicon event years ago. RAGE

"All you want to know about is the show the band the songs. You could care less about the life that was taken here tonight. It's funny but everyone thinks that being a star is what they want… but you know what tonight I wish I wasn't if I wasn't he would still be here… my heart would not be breaking for a second time….you all don't know you couldn't know what I am going through…the world lost…..I lost someone very special tonight… that's all I have to say." I couldn't hold it together any more I was hysterical

Watching TV….

"SPENCER….SPENCER"

I run into the room Carly was visiting as we were going to Yakima to visit granddad for the weekend. When I get there she has tears in her eyes.

"It's Freddie…"

So that is the end of chapter 1

Please review if you want me to continue. I really hope that you do. I know the story is eliminating a main character right away but Freddie will be throughout the story in flashbacks. I know a lot of people deal with death everyday and this story may be hard for some to read more than others because of it. Remember that this story is a journey and it will have lots of chapters , if you want them. Should I continue? and thanks for reading!