I don't even know why I'm writing this. Truth is, I'm not really happy with Gossip Girl recently and what's been happening to the characters. However, despite this, Season one has way too much potential for me to ignore, and after watching it again recently with friends, I've decided to try a little multi chap surrounding it. This will depend on the amount of interest generated, but if there's enough the story will focus on Chuck and Blair's friendship, and burgeoning romance pre pilot, which I'm super excited about :) Leave a review if you get the chance, yeah?
Disclaimer: Nothing you recognise is mine.
Do me a favour, and ask if you need some help
She said: "Do me a favour and stop flattering yourself"
Do me a favour - The Arctic Monkeys.
"I mean who does she think she is, right, Blair?"
"Blair?"
"Blair!"
Blair jumped, the liquid in her martini glass sloshing precariously close to the rim. She steadied her hand carefully to avoid ruining her brand new Chloe dress, and glanced up.
"Hmm?"
"God, Blair! That's like the fourth time in an hour you've zoned out, what's with you tonight?"
It had happened again. She needed to seriously get a grip before they started asking more incessant questions. Questions she couldn't handle right now.
Last she had been aware; Hazel had been telling some abhorrent story related to a hook up with a sleazy investment banker two weekends ago. Now she could tell from the tone of her voice that the topic had since shifted, probably several times.
She had to get a handle on this. It had been 2 months for crying out loud. Serena was gone, gone and not coming back – without so much as a text to explain why.
Therefore, sitting in a crowded party on a Friday night, fighting back tears because the DJ had played, "Milkshake" and it had elicited memories of dry martinis, rainbow coloured manicures and ridiculously inappropriate dancing in her bedroom with a very hard to forget blonde, was entirely unacceptable.
The hardest part was keeping up the lie.
To everyone else, she had no reason to be upset. The humiliation of having to admit that she had no freaking idea why her best friend had whirled out of her life was too great.
And so, in true Blair Waldorf style, she had fabricated a perfectly intricate movie plot line. Of course she knew where Serena was – She had known she was leaving for months – She was all set to visit her soon. The fairytale she painstakingly constructed within her head grew wilder and more grandiose every time the subject of her BFF was brought up in conversation.
She researched boarding schools in Connecticut – the only lead she had since no one would even tell her the name of the institute Serena supposedly now attended; She googled hot spots – bars, restaurants, clubs – and told the girls she was preparing to visit S that coming weekend.
When the date of her apparent departure eventually arrived, she either composed some fabled reason for postponing the trip or, if she was too exhausted to lie anymore, she let the girls believe she had gone and instead, spent the weekend holed up in her penthouse with Audrey and chocolate throwing an invitation only pity party for one.
Really the whole thing was a great, big clusterfuck of an after school special - careful what you wish for, folks. Hadn't she always wanted the limelight without Serena hogging it all the time? Hadn't she always wanted to be the first name on the bill?
Well she had that now didn't she? Under a spot light all by herself, expected to smile and bitch and love every single second of it.
Don't you dare cry.
She had disciplined herself. There would be no tears now. Now that there was no chance of her name being an afterthought, tagged onto the end. She wasn't part of a double act anymore.
The thoughts were getting wilder again. Her eyes were on fire, she was terrified to blink. Was she even wearing her waterproof Dior mascara? God, this was too much, too risky.
She arose from her throne like the monarch she was and surveyed her subjects with a haughty, disaffected gaze.
The affect of the previously consumed alcohol hit her like a freight train.
"I'm going to freshen up,"
Kati, looking for a gold star made to stand up.
"I won't be requiring assistance, K"
Dismissed, cheeks heating up under her "Orgasm" blush, Kati lowered herself gingerly back onto her seat. The snickers from the others contagious around the table.
Blair didn't hesitate. Navigating her way through the gyrating, sweaty throng on the dance floor with a barely concealed shiver of repulsion, she cut a path to the rest rooms.
As she elbowed past, over sexed teens her eyes locked on a sight that made her jolt to a stop.
Serena was there.
Her best friend was dancing in a circle with five or six lacrosse players from Constance with grabby hands and ogling eyes. Her blonde hair flowing free, wearing a deep pink dress which left little to the imagination.
Blair changed her trajectory, heart beating a mile a minute in time to the bass. Ba – dump
Before she was even properly across the room, Blair already knew it wasn't Serena.
Her hair colour was clearly from a bottle, she was at least 3 inches too small and her laughter was grating not coquettish.
Her stomach felt bloated, every item she had eaten that day was churning within it.
When she approached the group, the tequila imbibed an hour ago fuelled her desperation. The contents of her tiny dinner were turning rancid within her; she wanted to claw her skin off, get all the sludge that was festering inside. Out.
"Serena!"
"S, It's me, It's Blair"
She had no real idea what she was doing, she felt nauseous, she felt pathetic. She was clinging onto some strangers arm begging her to morph into her best friend. Her heart was too big for her chest, it beat and it ached.
"Who the fuck are you?" This Serena's perfume was too floral. Serena hated floral perfume.
"I'm Blair, It's me Blair"
She went to grasp the girl's hand, if she could make her see, if she could explain then maybe it would be okay. Maybe it was Serena, the lights were too dim to tell, the music too loud to hear properly. S had probably said I'm so glad to see you, and she just couldn't hear over the volume of the party.
"How have you been, S"
"Seriously, who. The. Fuck. Are. You."
Serena shoved her, pushed her away, made to leave. Again.
"No, S, wait. It's me. I'm Blair!"
"Okay, Waldorf, let's get you some fresh air"
Before she knew what was happening, a strong hand had wrapped itself firmly around her upper arm and was gently propelling her away in the direction of the balcony.
Serena's brown eyes – well that's not right - Were narrowed with an almost predatory animosity.
Her best friend was miles away, completely unconcerned about Blair and her ridiculous hysterics.
She started to cry
Out on the balcony the wind whipped her curls and acted as a clarifying slap across the face.
One probably nowhere near as painful, and humiliating as the one she had been about to receive from a seriously freaked out stranger.
Stealthily, she wiped the mascara clouds from under her eyes with a dainty finger.
"Feeling better?"
Blair glanced up to take in her rescuer, already well aware who it was.
"Simple misunderstanding, Bass, everything's perfectly fine."
The tears she had wiped away left tell tale smudges under her eyes. Chuck's fingers itched to remove them.
"Blair"
His eyes were disbelieving and Blair couldn't have that. What was the point in constructing her lie for so long if someone didn't buy it?
"I said, everything is fine, I thought Serena had returned home earlier than planned to surprise me, that's all"
He had materialised a joint from somewhere and was taking leisurely draws as he surveyed her, "right, and you just what? Accosted some complete nobody with a tramp stamp for shits and giggles?"
Blair felt her control slipping, the feeling from before was back.
"Don't be so over dramatic, Bass. I didn't accost anyone; it was a simple mistake to make."
Chuck took in her trembling hands, felt a familiar swelling in the confines of his chest and looked away.
He knew she was lying.
Had known the whole time.
There was no way Serena would have had the audacity to even send Blair an emoticon after everything that had happened.
Chuck knew Blair was lying, because he knew why Serena had left.
When he had stumbled upon his best friend and the free spirited blonde fucking on a bar stool, Chuck had felt a rush of power so strong he couldn't fight the smirk which had manifested onto his lips. Snapping a very uncompromising picture with his camera phone, he left them to it.
He had kept the secret for months, waiting for the perfect opportunity to send the blast to Gossip Girl and watch the spectacular fall out which would inevitably follow.
This had been his plan since the night of the Shepherd wedding, Serena leaving just meant he had to wait a little longer than anticipated.
However, days turned into weeks, and weeks bled into months, and it soon became a very real possibility that Serena Van Der Woodsen was gone. For good.
When he heard that Blair Waldorf had been telling people that she was meeting Serena on regular weekends, an unidentifiable tightening began in his rib cage.
When he discovered that rather than catching a flight to Connecticut, Blair hadn't left her home for two straight days it got worse.
When he caught her regaling her minions with tales of bar hopping, Breakfast at Tiffany's and BFF catch ups the following Monday, he deleted the picture of Serena and Nate's illicit little tryst, without really dwelling on why.
Looking at her now, in a club, small and unsure, grasping at straws made of lies he wasn't even sure she could separate from reality anymore, the swelling had returned in earnest.
Throwing his joint over the balcony and watching as it became a glowing orange speck he turned to her.
"Blair, I know you haven't even spoken to Serena in months"
The panic on her face lasted only seconds before it was banished.
"For your information, I saw her last weekend," her words came out tiny and held a barely concealed plea.
"She's changed her number, Blair," he paused, not really knowing how far to push it. He felt out of character, Chuck Bass didn't second guess himself. Dropping her gaze helped, he focused on the Chrysler building and continued, "She's changed her number, fucked off and isn't coming back,"
His words grated against her skin and she sprang up.
"Screw you, Bass; I don't have time for this."
She had to go home. When she was in her room, she could come up with a better lie. Maybe she could try photo shopping some pictures of her and Serena together, or print off invented email transcripts and shove them in his face. She needed evidence that was all, she had been preparing for this for a while.
He thought about doing something dramatic, grabbing her arm, forcing her to stay, but it didn't sit right with him and so he simply sipped some of his drink and gave her one more emergency exit.
"I'm not going to tell anyone, B,"
She paused, stiffened, yet didn't face him.
"I just want you to know that..."
She turned, slowly, he felt uncomfortable all of a sudden. What the fuck was he trying to achieve? He might as well just do something utterly moronic like touch her hair or sing to her.
"What?"
He started, but didn't remember what he was meant to be saying, her eyes were fixed on his; they were the darkest he had ever seen.
"What did you want me to know?" She was looking at him with her hair mussed, her eyes sparkling from tears both shed and unshed, and she was still tiny in her killer heels.
Her hands were shaking; he wanted to compare their size to his own.
"That," his voice came out rough and he didn't recognise it, he could hear thunder in his ears, music and a sing along was faint beyond the glass doors, "Hey, Jude" was playing for some inexplicable reason.
You were made to go out and get her
He swallowed, tasted weed, scotch and repression and swallowed again.
"I just wanted you to know that, if you ever need," pause deep breath, don't turn this into a scene from the fucking Notebook, Bass. "if you ever need, someone to talk to about everything, that I'm, well I'm not always out being irresistible and partaking in devilishly debauched activities."
Blair felt something free fall in her stomach, she shifted.
There was a drawn out silence, god, he might as well have wrote her a freaking poem.
Blair closed the distance between them in her head. One, two, three. In reality she remained stationary.
"Good to know, Chuck" the tension that been building and seizing her insides was gone.
In his mind he kissed her hand before walking away. In reality she walked away from him after smiling.
A tingling erupted in his stomach.
He had an unmistakeable urge to whistle. Instead, he finished his drink in a gulp, unable to stop the grin that he captured in the glass.
Every weekend after that night, when she was supposedly visiting Serena, Blair visited the Palace hotel.
The hardest part was the lie. Blair didn't have to keep this up in suite 1812