It was all his fault. It really was. It was because of his raven-black hair, and the way he unknowingly raked his hands through it. The way his light hazel eyes playfully teased me, and the way they lit up when he laughed or smiled. The way his horn-rimmed glasses slipped down his nose and how he pushed them up with his pointer finger. It really was his fault, because I had done the unthinkable. I had fallen in love with James-bloody-Potter.
All of these thoughts had been running through my head for quite a while, and it was common knowledge that they would be right now, considering I was in Transfiguration, and he was one desk in front of me, allowing as much time as I wanted to stare at him. Alas, McGonnagall was very attentive, and whenever someone started daydreaming in her class, she reprimanded them in front of the whole damn class.
"Miss Evans, I'm sure you enjoy staring at the back of Potter's head, but would you please pay attention?" She hid a knowing smirk, while she shunned me.
My cheeks deepened in color immensely, and I nodded curtly while hiding my head. When I looked up again, knowing the coast was clear, he was turned around in his seat, smirking widely at me. Thankfully, class ended right then, and I was able to rush out of the classroom without him catching me. Avoiding him though, would be quite difficult, considering we were both Heads- really, what had Dumbledore been thinking when he chose James?- and in the same house, meaning most of our classes were shared together, and at mealtimes we would be sitting at the same table. I mused for a minute about skipping dinner, but denied the thought immediately, food was of upmost importance to me. Looking up, I realized I had reached the Heads' dorm, and gave the password. "Lemon Meringue." I muttered, and stepped inside. I threw my schoolbag carelessly on the couch and stretched, yawning loudly. So loudly, in fact, that I didn't hear the portrait swing open, and James step in.
"Hey Evans." A voice said. I whirled around in surprise and screamed loudly. "Relax! It's just me!" James screamed, in effort to quiet me down.
"Merlin, James, you scared the shite out of me!" I exclaimed, still in shock from him popping out of nowhere. I didn't notice that I had called him, Potter, James, instead of his usual bitter surname. But I did, in fact, notice that James was staring at me, his mouth slightly agape.
"Um… James? Are you okay? Oh, Merlin, is there something on my face or something?" I quickly took my hands and rubbed at my face, trying to clear it of any unknown substances.
He chuckled lightly, "No, Lily, you just called me James. Not Potter, or prat, or git, or anything like that, but you called me James." He said, still surprised.
I blushed again, though not quite as deep as when McGonnagall had caught me staring. "Oh, yes, well, I suppose I did…" I trailed off awkwardly. "Well, you called me Lily." I pointed out to him.
He smirked. "Well, I haven't hated you for the last 5 ½ years so… It's not that weird." He was still smirking, and it was really starting to piss me off.
"Well, psh, well… Who says I don't still hate you?" I was grasping at strings I knew, and he knew that too. He had changed, a lot, halfway through 6th year, he had deflated his ego a little, and starting pranking less and less. But it was the summer between 6th and 7th year that he had really changed. The Head Boy badge might have helped a little bit, but when he came back to school, his ego was significantly deflated, he had stopped pranking almost altogether, unless it was for the amusement of everyone, not just him and the Marauders. He had started actually studying, receiving almost as good as ranks as me and Remus. He helped younger students, and showed up on time for Heads' and Prefects' meetings, something I would have never thought possible in previous years. He was no longer a git, or a prat, or Potter, he was James. And I was falling in love with him. Scratch that, I had fallen in love with him. Now, all that was in the way, was the problem of telling him.
"Ha, yeah right, if you still hated me you would be cursing my arse off right now." That infuriating smirk was still on his face. Really, all I wanted to was walk over and smack it off his face. He had stepped closer as he was talking and now he was little over a foot away from me. I gulped, unconsciously.
"True… Perhaps, I think a little better of you… You could be considered in the not-yet-friends-but-not-exactly-arch-rivals range. If you wanted." I added, just to make sure he got the point.
"Well… What if what I wanted, was more than that…Maybe more? Would that be alright? Maybe in the boyfriend-and-girlfriend-lovey-dovey way? Every girl would leap for that chance." And just like that, the moment was gone. He had ruined it with one of his arrogant sayings, which surprised me because he hadn't had one of those for at least a year.
"Really? You just had to say that? Well, for your information, I'm not every girl, so newsflash, no. Never happening, ever, Potter." I spat his last name out, and stalked off to my side of the Heads' dorms, and slammed the door. Kicking off my shoes against the wall, loud enough for him to hear, I collapsed onto the bed.
It was unbelievable, really it was. I had thought I had been having a moment with him. I didn't understand why he had said that, and I knew he regretted it, because I had seen the look on his face. I just didn't get why it had popped out. Sighing, I stood up, knowing I had to go out there and face him. I opened the door, and he was standing there, just about to knock, his fist raised in the air. His face was twisted in an expression of regret and fear. It wasn't very attractive.
"Hey, so, umm… I just wanted to say I was sorry… For saying that… It just kinda slipped out… It's just… You don't understand how… Nervous… I get around you. It's unbearable really, I'm standing on edge whenever you're within a 10-foot radius of me. And sometimes, things just pop out. Like that did. Have you ever wondered why I was such an arrogant git around you all the time? I wouldn't think before I said things, and the first thing that popped into my mind that sounded charming, I would say. I didn't know how to be myself around you, and it confused me too no end. It still does, matter of fact… But it's just… It's just… I love you!" He blurted out, then covered his mouth with his hand, looking quite scared as to what my reaction would be.
I smiled lightly, not believing what I had heard. "Listen… James… You're a prat, a git, an arrogant toe-rag, and annoying as fuck." His face had fallen much so, thinking I was going to reject him again. "Well, that's what you used to be, at least. Now, you're so much more sensitive, and witty, and sweet. You're quite an attractive bloke. Well, I've always thought that actually, but still." He had brightened up considerately, especially after that last statement. "But it wasn't until this year that I realized what a fantastic bloke you really are. I honestly don't know what I would do if I lost you right now. You're one of the greatest friends I could have ever asked for. But… I want more than that… I love you, James, and now that I think about it, I always have, it just took me a little while to figure it out." I smiled brightly at him, as he stood there, slightly resembling a fish as his mouth opened and closed widely.
"I… But… Yeah… Six years is a 'little while'." He said sarcastically. Closing the space between us, he reached down and cupped his hand over my cheek. He searched my eyes, asking for permission, then leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. Automatically, my hands reached up to twine themselves in his hair, and his hands went to my waist to pull me closer to him, if that was possible. But at the sound of the portrait door swinging open, we jumped a few feet apart, standing there with guilty looks on our faces, as if expecting to see some teacher come and give us detention for snogging. But alas, it was just Sirius, one of James' best mates.
"Whoaaa! What's going on in here?" Black laughed, as he took in the sight of our tousled clothes and swollen lips. Obviously, the answer was clear, because he ran over and started to slap James on the back. "Congratulations, Prongsie ol' boy! And here I thought Evans would never give in!" He grinned cheekily at me, and my hand itched forward to slap him, but I stopped myself. "Merlin, I've got to go tell Remus and Peter, they won't believe this!" He skipped daintily over to the portrait hole, and I'm sure if I had said that out loud, he would've turned around and hexed me to next week. But right as he was about to step out, he paused in mid-air, crashing to the floor. Standing up, and straightening himself out, he turned to us again. "WAIT! Are you guys like, boyfriend and girlfriend now?" He asked giddily.
James looked at me, and I nodded, smiling widely. "Sure, Pads, but… You do know you were just skipping right?" He looked at him warily, as if scared of what he might do next.
He laughed and said, "Oh sure, dear Prongs, I'm well aware of that. Oh Merlin, I really have to go tell them!" He gushed out, turning around to leave once more. "I'll let you two get back to business," he gave us a rougish wink, and got ready to leave. "But don't expect peace and quiet when you come down to dinner." He left with a flourish, and James rolled his eyes at his best mate's stupidity.
"Let's say you and I get back to 'business', yeah?" He looked at me, a twinkle in his hazel eyes.
I smirked at him playfully, before running out of the portrait hole.