One More Step
Hutch sat in his car, hands tightly wrapped around the steering wheel, and stared out into the waning afternoon light.
Get in there, Hutchinson. He needs you. His eyes pinched shut as he shook his head. Opening his eyes again, Hutch went over the last few weeks in his head for the hundredth time. After almost losing his partner to James Gunther's hit men, Starsky was on the mend when a stroke took him down. Something to do with the chest wounds, Hutch thought but now he couldn't remember all the medical jargon the doctors spouted at him. Hutch's own heart skipped a beat as he remembered the phone call from the hospital and the guilt he felt at not being at Starsky's side when it happened.
But he was doing so well, you had to go back to work. You couldn't have seen it coming. Hutch drew in a sharp breath as he realized he was becoming his own voice of reason now that Starsky was no longer able to speak. The doctor's words echoed in his head. "Get him interested, make him comfortable. Keep things simple, even when talking to him. They'll introduce him to a communication board with words and drawings for the most fundamental elements. There are motor reflexes to build back up. His brain will find new channels. Speech will return slowly, which will be frustrating for him.
Bracing himself, Hutch opened the Galaxie 500's door and unfolded himself from the driver's seat. He looked up at the unassuming brick building that housed the rehabilitation hospital where Starsky had arrived just a week before. Taking in a breath, he headed inside.
"How's he doing today?" Hutch asked Carol, one of the nurses on shift.
"Today is not a good day." She said flatly then her face softened and she reached to pat Hutch's arm. "See what you can do."
Hutch looked across to Starsky's door, his brow creased with stress. He looked back at the nurse and gave her a wan smile. "Thanks."
Hutch slowly pushed open the door to see his partner on the bed. Although he was on his back, he was turned slightly away from the door so that his face was not visible. His useless right arm lay on a pillow placed under it. Hutch stepped into the room.
"Hey, Partner, how you feeling today?" As he approached the bed, Hutch plastered on a fake but bright smile. He came around to the other side to see Starsky's eyes were closed but the tightness of them showed his friend was not asleep. His left hand clutched the sheets. "Open up, Starsk. Let me see those baby blues." Starsky's eyes slowing opened and he stared hollowly at Hutch.
"There you are. How did physical therapy go this morning? Making any progress?" Hutch asked, but Starsky simply continued to stare.
Hutch pulled the bedside table over and placed it in front of Starsky. The words "yes" and "no" in bold letters were on two cards attached to the front of the table. "Come on, Starsk. Show me. Did you make progress?" Hutch waited but there was no response. "Okay, let's try this. Did you enjoy your lunch? I heard they were having sloppy joes today." He waited. Starsky's glaring eyes slid away and looked out the window behind Hutch.
Hutch turned toward the window to hide his fear. He felt his foot touch something and he looked down to see the remainder of Starsky's lunch. The wall was sprayed with food showing just how forcefully his best friend had hurled the plate. He placed his hand on the sill and leaned on it heavily. He couldn't blame Starsky for not trying to speak. The garbled noises he had choked out shortly after waking up from the stroke tore Hutch's heart to pieces. At first Starsky had seemed to want to cooperate and had used the word cards to try to communicate but then he began to retreat into himself. Hutch shook his head slowly side to side.
"What's going on in that head, huh?" He asked as he turned back to face Starsky whose eyes darted away as Hutch's met them. Okay, you are paying attention at least. You are in there, I can see you. Come on out, Partner. Please.
A thousand thoughts went through Hutch's mind. He wanted to pull up a chair and tell Starsky what he was feeling, tell him about the case he was working on, tell him his mother had called every day and cried since she left her son's side. He thought about Nick Starsky and anger swept through him. He wouldn't come see his own brother. It was too much for him to deal with, he said. How about Dave Starsky? How do you think it is for him to deal with this?
'Keep it simple.' The doctor's words flicked through his thoughts and he pushed it all down. He looked down at the floor and gulped in air to stifle the sob that threatened to escape. When he looked up he saw Starsky watching him. Hutch tried to smile – to keep it simple – but he couldn't do it anymore.
"Do you want me here?" Hutch asked sharply and he thought he saw some emotion flash through those cold blue eyes watching him. "Do you, Starsky?" Hutch tapped loudly on the word "No." Do you want me here?" He asked again. Starsky looked away.
Hutch pushed the table so hard that is skittered across the floor and banged into the sink near the door. "I'm going to take that as a no, then." Hutch stormed toward the door and just as his hand reached for the handle he heard it.
"Hu..hu…way way."
Hutch spun around and rushed back to Starsky's side. He watched as Starsky's mouth worked to say the words. "Way, doe go."
Hutch beamed. "Wait, don't go," he repeated back and Starsky slowed nodded. Hutch scooped him up and a laughed bubbled out of him as he hugged his best friend. "I'm not going anywhere." He released the hug and laid Starsky back down but didn't – couldn't – take his hands from the man's shoulders. "Okay, you ready to do this thing?"
A half smile quirked across Starsky's face and he nodded. "Do iss."
Eventually, Hutch stopped be nervous before the visits, realizing that Starsky was completely dedicated to his recovery. There was never another 'bad day.' There were plenty of rough days, days when his partner's brow would furrow in frustration, beads of sweat popping up along it and his upper lip. But, in the end, Starsky never gave up. Hutch's heart would stop whenever Starsky would try to take his first step and end up falling. The therapist would stop him from hitting the floor and cheer him on to try again but it was slow going.
On a Friday morning, Hutch rushed into Starsky's room. Starsky looked up from his breakfast, confusion in his eyes. "Wha ong?" He asked.
"Starsk, I just got a call from my mother. My dad's been in an accident. I have to fly home."
Fear flicked across Starsky's face but was quickly replaced by concern. "G-g-go."
Hutch reached and put a hand on Starsky's forearm. "You'll be okay?" Hutch knew his place was home but he also knew that the staff accredited a lot of the progress Starsky had made to his own presence by his side.
"O-kay. Go."
Hutch backed toward the door. "You make sure you keep up with your therapy, Buddy. I want to see progress when I get back." Starsky nodded. "I mean it."
Starsky made a face. "Kay."
"Promise?" Hutch asked loudly as he pointed a long index finger at Starsky.
"P-paw-miss"
"Hey, that was good," Hutch grinned. "I'll call if I can. See you soon, Pal."
"See…ya."
Hutch's stomach tightened as he turned away. He stopped by the nurses' station and let Carol know what happened and that he would be away.
"Oh, Ken, I'm sorry. I hope your father will be okay. We will take good care of Dave, don't worry."
"I know you will. And thanks," Hutch said as he headed for the exit. Still, he worried that his leaving would put a kink in Starsky's progress.
The next two days were a blur of sitting vigil by his father's bedside. Hutch's emotions flipped back and forth from concern for his father and guilt that he felt more needed back in Bay City.
"Ken, you need to get some rest. Between this and Starsky's hospitalization, I know you haven't been taking care of yourself," Sarah Hutchinson whispered to her son as they flanked her husband's bed. "Your sister is on her way. Go back to the house and sleep."
"I'm okay, Mom," Hutch said out of habit. How many times had he said that to someone as he sat by his partner's side?
"You looked like you were ready to drop when you arrived here. And now…" she reached across and brushed the blond hair from his forehead, resting her palm on his cheek. "Please, Honey. I'll call you if anything changes."
Hutch looked down at his father and nodded slowly. He was completely exhausted and wasn't sure if he had the energy to make the short ride home. "Okay, Mom, if you're sure you'll be okay." His mother nodded and smiled slightly.
Hutch headed into his parents' house and went into the library to use the phone on his father's desk. He dialed the number of Starsky's rehab unit. "Hi, Angie. Ken Hutchinson here. He's holding his own. Thank you for asking. Can you connect me to Starsky? Oh he is, huh? So, how's he doing? About the same? Okay, I'll let you go. Tell him I called, would you? Thanks, Angie. Goodbye."
Hutch hung up the phone and rubbed his eyes. About the same. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing. But he had hoped for something more. He looked over at the grandfather clock as it chimed the hour. Pushing himself up, he wearily made his way to the stairs and up to his room for some much needed sleep.
Four hours later, Hutch arrived to find his father awake and propped up in bed. His mother smiled through streaming tears. His sister threw her arms around Hutch's neck with joy. The reunion was brief but happy. They were all soon shooed away by the nurses and told Mr. Hutchinson needed to rest. Hutch took the two women in his life out to dinner to celebrate. Two days later he was on a plane back to California.
Hutch flew in to LAX and drove straight to the precinct. He checked in with Dobey and followed up on some leads his new partner had, all the while constantly checking the time on his pocket watch.
"Hutch, I can finish this up," Mike Dunn said from across the desk.
"What?"
"I know you are itching to go see him. Dobey left early today; he'll never even know. Go ahead. Tell him I said hi."
Hutch grinned. "Thanks, Mike. I appreciate it."
Hutch grabbed his jacket and rushed out to his car in the lot. Thirty minutes later he strode into the front door of the rehab hospital. Dr. Brennan, Starsky's primary doctor appeared out of nowhere and stopped him.
"Oh, Dr. Brennan. Hello, is there something wrong?"
"Oh, no, not at all. I just wanted to say hello. How is your father?"
Hutch started to walk away as he spoke. "He's fine. Thank you. He will be home within the week."
Dr. Brennan followed along. "That's great, wonderful news." The doctor then waved and walked back toward his office. Hutch, who had been looking behind him at the retreating doctor, turned forward only to stop short.
"Oh, hi Carol."
"Ken, hi. Welcome back. How is your father?"
Hutch tried to hide his annoyance at yet another roadblock. "He is doing great, thanks, Carol. I was just telling Dr. Brennan he'll be home soon."
"Really, that is wonderful news. What exactly happened, if you don't mind me asking?"
Hutch looked over her head at the entrance to Starsky's unit and let out a sigh. "Well, he swerved to avoid a deer and hit a pole. He's an animal lover so we weren't surprised." Hutch kept walking as he spoke but Carol tagged along with him even though she had her purse and jacket and was obviously leaving for the day.
"Scary. I'm so glad he's on the mend."
"Thanks again, Carol. Goodnight," Hutch said abruptly and took off on his long legs. He felt slightly guilty for dismissing the woman but not too guilty.
His next hurtle was the nurses' desk where everyone asked the same questions about his father. He was glad to be able to answer all of them at once and hoped no one was in Starsky's room to ask him again. Starsky knew how his father was doing since Hutch had called him to let him know he was coming home but Hutch realized he wasn't able to convey all the details. He bit his lip as he pushed open Starsky's door and was met with an empty bed. He peered around the door into the bathroom which was also empty. Looking back at the desk, one nurse saw his confusion.
"Oh, he's down in PT."
"Now?" Hutch asked, knowing the schedule of the hospital. Dinner was served promptly at six and all patients were back in their rooms long before then.
"Uh huh," the nurse replied simply. She gave him a grin that Hutch didn't really understand.
"Thanks," Hutch said. He punched the elevator button in exasperation. Once inside, he pushed the correct floor. Some orderlies caught the doors just before they closed. Hutch watched as they each pushed buttons. Can't you see I'm in a hurry here? Hutch bit back a sigh. As soon as the doors opened to his floor, Hutch darted down the hall, hoping to not run into anyone else who knew him. He knew he'd have to at least answer to the physical therapists when they asked about his father. Come on, Hutchinson, they are just being friendly. Guilt panged in his chest as he followed the corridor down to the PT room but he just wanted to see his best friend.
He pushed open the door with too much gusto, suddenly afraid a patient might be standing just behind it. When he entered the room he was met with a sea of faces. All the nurses and other staff that had been just speaking to him were standing there grinning at him. Hutch slowed down and his mouth dropped open in confusion. Before he could ask what was going on, the group divided and stepped aside. There in front of him, standing between the parallel bars was Starsky grinning the biggest, most lopsided grin Hutch had ever seen. No one stood with him. He was upright on his own power.
"Starsk…" Hutch sputtered. Just as he said the word, Starsky took a step with his left leg. He then steadied himself and took the next step. Moving his hands along the bars, he took a third step and a fourth.
"Oh my God, Starsky. You're walking."
There was a whoosh of air as all the people in the room let out their held breaths and everyone started clapping. Hutch had momentarily forgotten them and looked around smiling.
"He wanted to surprise you," Dr. Brennan said.
Realization dawned as Hutch thought back to everyone stopping him along his path to see his partner. "Well, he sure as hell did!" Hutch spouted then blushed.
"Watch yer mowt," Starsky said.
Hutch's eyes widened. "Holy cow, Starsky. That sentence was amazing."
"I've never seen anyone work so hard, Ken." Hutch turned toward the physical therapist that Starsky had been working with.
Hutch reached out and shook the man's hand. "Thank you so much, Brian."
"Don't thank me," Brian said as he gestured toward Starsky. "He's done it on his own."
Hutch walked between the bars until he reached Starsky who was still beaming with pride. "You did it. Look at you. You did it."
"Yup," Starsky replied. "Now git outta way."
Hutch laughed as he backed out of Starsky's space and watch as his friend finished the length of the bars and they were again face to face. Starsky grinned proudly, though his face was blurry as Hutch looked at him through teary eyes.
"Starsk…" Hutch began but was overcome with emotion. He looked away.
"Yeah?" Starsky prodded.
Hutch looked at him, blinking back the tears. "I…I don't know what to s-say."
"Now you sown lie mee," Starsky teased.
Hutch let out a laugh. "I do. I'm going to have to hold onto those bars myself soon too." Hutch felt his legs get weak.
"Hey, Hush,"
"Yeah?"
"I'm gittin kinda tired."
Hutch realized what Starsky was saying and instantly snapped out of his emotional haze. "Oh, sure." Hutch turned to look for a wheelchair and suddenly realized they were completely alone in the room. He found Starsky's wheelchair and pulled it close then helped Starsky settle into it. Hutch looked around the room again to be sure they were alone then crouched down in front of his friend.
"I missed you."
"I miss you, too."
"I was worried about you."
Starsky made a face. "Who me? I'm o-kay."
Hutch laughed lightly. "I can see that. How could I ever doubt it?"
"Bee-cause I wuz id-et."
"Idiot? No, Starsk."
"Yeah, I wuz," Starsky said firmly. He placed his right hand on Hutch's shoulder and Hutch looked down at it and grinned. "No more."
Hutch stood up and put his hands on his hips. "Are you telling me you will never be an idiot again?"
Starsky shrugged his good shoulder and smiled. "Well, no."
"Good. You had me worried there." Hutch leaned over and placed his hands on Starsky's shoulders. His voice cracked as he said, "I'm so proud of you." Starsky smirked and blushed. "Are you proud of yourself?" Starsky just smiled so Hutch said strongly. "Are you?"
"Yeah."
"I can't hear you," Hutch said playfully.
"Yes. Proud."
"Damn straight!" Hutch said as he let go of Starsky's shoulders and stood up. "Now let's get back to your room. You don't want to miss dinner."
"Hell, no," Starsky said, completely serious. Hutch laughed.
Once Starsky was settled in his bed and he began to eat his dinner, Hutch sat down wearily in the nearby chair. Starsky eyed him.
"Go home."
"What? No, Starsk. I just got here."
"You are eh-zaw…eh-zaw…ted."
Hutch's face broke out in a huge grin. "I'm not going anywhere, exhausted or not. I can't get over how well you are doing with your speech. And that walking…" he threw his hands in the air. "I just can't believe it."
Starsky went back to his dinner. "I did it fer you."
"No, don't say that."
Starsky stopped mid chew. "It true."
Hutch stood back up and came to Starsky's side. "That means a lot. But I hope you did it for yourself too." Starsky cocked his head to the side then nodded with a smile. "Okay then," Hutch said as he smacked Starsky on the shoulder.
"Geesh, wash how you handle crip-pell."
"HA!" Hutch proclaimed and Starsky jumped. "Cripple, my ass!"
"Cahm dow, Blondie," Starsky teased and then started to laugh. It was a deep childish laugh that made Hutch's stomach leap up into his chest. He started to laugh along.
"Wan my puddin?" Starsky offered.
"You sure?" Hutch asked, surprised.
"Yeah." Starsky handed the pudding and the spoon over to Hutch. He took another bite of his dinner watching his best friend take the cover off the pudding and dive in.
Together the two friends ate in happy silence.
The End