Summary:
This story follows an orphaned teenager who suffers from anxiety and hiding an embarrassing secret: she's a little. WARNING: May contain spanking (there will be warning on the chapters). Contains descriptions of anxiety attacks. Contains ABDL. If you don't like it, don't read it.
Chapter 1:
'Class, please make your way to the auditorium for the awards ceremony. Good luck to you all.' Said Professor Bell, my English teacher, as she left the classroom. Everyone began talking excitedly about the awards and who would win this year. I followed my classmates to the auditorium, listening to their conversations but not participating in any. We were the first class to arrive in the auditorium. Derek Crass, a school Prefect four years older than me, was checking people names and assigning them seats. I tried to slip past him, as it didn't matter who I am as I was not winning any awards. Plus, I needed some time alone. I really couldn't handle being in stuck in the auditorium full of students and teachers right now. It was too many people, too many eyes, too much pressure. Crass had just checked-in Tom Green, the most popular guy in our year. This was my chance. I would just slip by Crass and find a quiet corner to hide in.
'Miss, your name please?' Shit. Crass was clearly more observant than I gave him credit for. My heart started racing, my chest burning as if I had been running a marathon, my ears pounding. No, not now. Please not now.
'It doesn't matter' I stammered. 'I haven't won anything. I'll- I'll just st in the back'. I tried to push past him.
'I still need to take attendance. Your nam - hey! Come back here!' I saw black and I ran. I ran past the stage, through the side door and searched for an empty and unlocked room, Crass hot on my heels. I mercifully found one not far up the corridor and swiftly locked the door behind me, slumping down to sit on the floor against the door, hugging my knees to my chest. I was going to be in so much trouble! Oh God! Why did I defy him? Why did I run? Its not like he was asking anything unreasonable. Who am I kidding? I know exactly why I ran. I got anxious and lost control of my actions. I frantically searched my pockets to see if I had my medication, but no luck. I haven't needed it in a while, and most times I can be excused and run to my room to fetch it.
I could hear Crass searching the other rooms in the corridor for me. He must take his responsibility as a Prefect very seriously. The door shook with is efforts to open it.
'You need to open this door and join the rest of the school in the auditorium. Now!' My breathing quickened, becoming quite laboured.
'P-please just l-l-leave me alone!' I sobbed. My thoughts were running wild, bringing every bad thought to the forefront.
'Stop this nonsense and open this door.' I need space. I need air. I got up from the floor and made my way over to the window. Crass started making all kinds of noise, though what he said I have no idea. He was banging on the door and yelling though. I opened the window and perched on the windowsill, looking out at the school grounds. It was dark, thankfully, and the air was crisp. It helped my breathing a bit, but not enough. I held my hands to my ears to block out the noise and tried humming and rocking back and forth to silence my thoughts. My heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest. I never noticed before how far up from the grounds the auditorium was. I can see the tops of the trees from here!
I felt a soft touch on my arm and jumped in fright, turning towards the person, removing my hands from my ears as I did so.
'Lindsay, are you alright?' I looked up into the unusually kind of face of Professor Snape. I swallowed hard, afraid of being in trouble. I couldn't find my voice, and instead of replying returned to my rocking on the windowsill, watching my professor. Behind him in the doorway, I could see Crass looking livid at my refusal to reply to the professor. I saw a few others in the corridor and knew that I must have drawn quite a bit of attention to myself. Great. My breathing sped up again. I could hear talking around me, but couldn't make out the words. I tried to look out the window again, rocking more violently.
Professor Snape held my head in his hands and looked me squarely in the eyes. 'Why don't we go find a quiet place to talk, hmm?' I could do that. I shivered, probably from the cold. The next thing I knew Professor Snape was draping a soft and fuzzy blanket around my shoulders. Where had that come from? I looked up to him and instinctively reached up to him. He picked me up without thought, wrapping the blanket around me. It was warm, and soft; so was the Professor. I began to calm down as he walked. I had no idea where he was taking me, but I also didn't care. I laid my head on his shoulder, jently sucking on my bottom lip relishing in the comfort of his warm body, the soft blanket, his firm steps, and, oddly, his sent. He smelled mildly of spices; not harsh ones, more like apple pie spice. He absently pet my hair as he walked and I could feel my eyes start to flutter.
I next opened my eyes when I felt myself being shifted in Professor Snape's lap. I must have dosed off because as I lifted my head and looked around, I saw that we were in a warm and cozy room, and that my Professor had sat down on an overstuffed couch, me still in his lap. I blushed and began to shift ever so lightly.
'Are you feeling a bit better? Up for a chat?' I nodded meekly, wanting simultaneously to leave his lap from embarrassment and to stay there, relishing in the comfort it provided.
'How long have you suffered anxiety attacks?' Professor Snape asked. I stared at my fingers, fidgeting.
'For as long as I can remember, Sir.' I answered in a quiet voice, still wringing my fingers.
Professor Snape gently rubbed his hand up and down my back in a soothing and calming manner. I peeked up at him from beneath my lashes.
'Did you remember to take your medication today?' How did he know about that? I hadn't told my Head of House, or even the Headmaster! My breathing increased again, my heart pounding.
'How-' I stammered. He rubbed my back a little more firmly. "You're OK Lindsay, just breathe.' He pushed my head back to his chest, the rumble of his voice calming me fairly quickly. Keeping me like this, he explained:
'I have a secret that I'd like to share with you, but only if you'll be honest with me about yours. Do you think you can do that?' I felt my anxiety spike again. My secret? He's already confronted me about my anxiety, so he can't mean...oh no! I can't talk to my professor about that! I could feel the panic set in, the need to run, to fight.
'Lindsay, calm down please. I already have my suspicions. Nothing said here will leave this room, I promise you.' His words weren't helping. I began to try and get up, needing space, needing to run, to hide. 'Lindsay, so you have your rescue medication on you?' Professor Snape asked, a slight note of panic in his voice. I was sobbing now, violently shaking my head. I covered my ears again, trying to stop the painful thoughts, and took up rocking back and forth on my professor's lap.
I could feel the rumble from his chest but could not hear his words as he tried to calm me. I could feel him rubbing my back, smoothing my hair, but nothing was helping. He said he already knew, but how? Nobody knows. I've been very careful.
Professor Snape stood suddenly, I gave an involuntary yelp fearing I would fall, but he re-adjusted me so that my head was laying on his shoulder again. I felt him re-position the blanket around me and then I felt something pressing against my lips. Something soft and rubbery. Without thought, I opened my mouth and began to suck on the dummy that Professor Snape was offering me.