A/N: Sooo, a little something to cure the boredom of everyday life and my writer's block. I did try very hard to keep them in character and it was supposed to be humorous but I don't know if any of that actually happened, so I'll let you lovely readers be the judge. As always I own nothing and I do hope you enjoy.
Once upon a time, there were two inmates whose cells were right next to each other. In one was a foul-mouthed albino and in the other a money-loving rag doll. Late one night, the rag doll, normally called Kakuzu, was just about to finish a rather boring book when he was interrupted by his neighbor. The albino was throwing a bitch fit over something Kakuzu didn't care enough about to identify. He tuned out the grating sound of his voice and returned to his book.
"Hey scarface! Are you even listening?" Hidan yelled.
"No."
"What the fuck? Pay attention when I'm talking!"
Kakuzu closed his book with a soft sigh and said, "Why should I listen to your incessant whining?"
Hidan's mouth dropped open for a moment before he spat at the other man, "You're such a self-centered fucking asshole."
"Is that all?"
"NO! You're a stitched up, ugly ass, stupid, greedy bastard!"
"Greedy am I?"
"Fucking duh."
"Hm. Then let me show you how giving I can be."
"What?"
It wasn't the answer Hidan had been expecting. He watched warily as Kakuzu set his book down and stood up, a smirk on his lips. He crossed his cell and pulled the zipper of Hidan's already half-unzipped jumpsuit down.
"What the he-AH!" the albino yelped as Kakuzu leaned down and latched onto one of his nipples. The rag doll used tongue and teeth to leave a dark mark, pulling back with a triumphant smirk to observe his work.
"You fucking prick!" Hidan gaped, staring down at the bruise blooming around his nipple. Kakuzu chuckled softly and lapped at the marred skin. Trailing down to Hidan's waist, he dropped to his knees and nipped at the skin below his bellybutton. The albino let out a sound halfway between surprise and pleasure. Giving a smirk, the rag doll caught the zipper between his teeth and pulled it down the rest of the way. He wasn't really surprised to find that Hidan wasn't wearing any underwear. He pulled out his cock and gave it a lick. The albino hissed low in his throat while his little friend swelled at the attention.
"Shall I suck you off?"
"Fuck. Yes." He panted, fingers curling around the bars. Kakuzu blew hot air across the albino's length, inducing a shudder, before taking him in his mouth. Hidan's hips surged forward into the wet heat and he let out a low groan. Kakuzu chuckled softly, sending delightful vibrations running through the albino. And then he started to suck. Hidan's head lolled back, his hips slamming against the bars shamelessly. He'd have bruises in the morning but that hardly mattered at the moment. Kakuzu fisted the orange jumpsuit at Hidan's hip and bobbed his head, tongue touching and teasing, tracing patterns. The rag doll wrapped a hand around the base of his cock, fingers flexing like he was playing a goddamn piano.
"Shit. You ehnnn you fucking hah!"
Kakuzu dragged his teeth along the underside of his member and the albino squirmed at the sensation. A heavy, wet moan bubbled past his lips. The rag doll suppressed a smirk as he laved his tongue along the swollen organ which only served to coax another moan from deep within Hidan's throat. Kakuzu pressed forward until he could feel the head against the back of his own throat and then swallowed around his cock. The albino jerked, a half-strangled sound pushing past his clenched jaw.
"Again. Fuck. Do that again." He muttered breathlessly, his back arching and his hips plunging forward into that delicious heat. The rag doll obliged. Hidan's hand reached through the bars to snag in Kakuzu's hair, his body starting to shake as the rag doll swallowed yet again. He was about to lose it when he felt a hand grasp his and start to crush it, eliciting from him a groan, until he was forced to relinquish his hold on his hair. He watched as the rag doll's lips slid from his dick, his tongue leaving a wet trail.
"A little something to remember me by." He said before giving the albino's cock a little kiss.
"The fuck?" he spat, watching the other man rise to his feet, his dick still flying high as a kite.
"Have a nice night." He replied, turning toward his bed. Hidan's jaw dropped before his face settled into an angry expression undermined slightly by pink cheeks.
"You limp-dicked, motherfucking, cocksucking-"
"I wasn't hearing any complaints. In fact, until I stopped, all that mouth of yours was spouting was moans and pleas."
Hidan sputtered, searching for some kind of retort but finding none. Kakuzu took advantage of his lapse in concentration. He leaned in and traced a pattern on the albino's cock, a horrid smirk twisting his stitched face. It strained at the attention. Circling the head, he pulled back a precome-covered finger and raised it to his mouth. His tongue slid out between his lips to draw the coated digit in. Closing his eyes for a moment and making a sound of approval, he slowly pulled it back out. Hidan moaned at the sight.
"You son of a whoring bitch."
"Don't be foul." He said, the rag doll's voice stained with laughter. Leaning in close to press his lips to the sensitive skin just below his ear, evoking a shudder that shot up the albino's spine, Kakuzu murmured, "I'll tell you a secret. If it weren't for these bars, I'd be fucking you already."
Hidan nearly came. His knees buckled and his fingers, still curled around the bars so tight his knuckles were white, were the only thing stopping him from dropping to the floor. But then the rag doll was moving away and he remembered his painfully hard dick.
"Hey! You get your ass back here and finish what you started!"
Kakuzu smirked and stretched out on his cot, fully inclined not to move a fucking muscle. He would sit back and watch with great pleasure as the albino was forced to finish himself.