Prologue

I never thought my life would end up like this, right here! I have become a train wreck, a charity case and completely unstable! There was a time, for like five seconds, when I thought my life could be salvaged, but now, I'm not so sure! Everyone is buzzing around me, so high on living their lives, so why can't I live mine?, why can't I escape the dark, endless pit I have been sentenced to, for what feels like an eternity! I see families happily spending time together in the park, I see mothers and fathers welcoming their new baby into the world, I see friends enjoying the night-life Seattle has to offer sensibly, I see boyfriends and girlfriends, husbands and wives completely in love, yet I'm stuck!, unable to move forward, unable to find the happiness I so desperately seek! I just need a sign that everything will be ok, I need a little ray of hope to come and lift me from my darkened prison, or else, I'm afraid I may not survive another day…

Chapter 1

As she lay in that darkened, cold alley, her whole life came crumbling down around her once again. She remained motionless as she listened to the clattering feet running away from her and into the night. Her body ached and shivered from the trauma she has just experienced.

It had started off like any other night, she had locked up the 'Pick -and-Go' at exactly nine o'clock and began to walk the eight blocks back to her apartment. The street, as always, was eerily quiet but that never seemed to bother her. She liked to think of herself as tough, as being able to take care of herself. Years of abandonment and emotional abuse had toughened up both her outer and inner shell. She was a cocoon of emotions but ready to fight off the next battle when it so arose! She had just popped her ipod headphones into her ears when she saw a vague shadow come behind her on the wet, glistening footpath. Yet, before she could turn around she was being dragged forcefully into the dark and deserted alley just off Williams St. She tried her best to cry out for help but a strong hand shielded her mouth and in turn the terrifying screams she so desperately needed to free. The rest is a bit of a blur, all she knew was that her situation had just gone from bad to worse. She tried to move but her muscles protested as a violent pain shot through the entirety of her body. She tried to open her eyes slowly, afraid of what she would see once they were open. The bleak darkness made it hard for her to see anything but she could see a faint light in the distance, a street lamp perhaps! She tried to move again, succeeding in bringing her left hand out from under her body and wiping her blonde hair from her face. She let out a slight whimper with the movement and soon noticed a pool of blood that had formed directly beside her head. She could feel herself slipping into a deep sleep but she fought to stay awake, she needed to move, she needed help! Her body battled with her vigorously as she kept trying to move herself. The wetness from the concrete ground began seeping in through her clothes and she began to shiver more intensely. Finally she couldn't fight to stay awake anymore and she fell deep into the darkness of an unconscious sleep.

'Page Dr. Shepherd stat'

Meredith could hear a crowd of people bustling around her. Her body still ached, however that pain was outweighed by the violent pain that was now growing forcefully in her head. There was an annoying beeping sound echoing through the room which wasn't helping her bursting headache, nor was the sound of people shouting strategically around her.

Beep….beep…..beep….beep /\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\

'Where the hell am I?' she thought, afraid to open her eyes. If it wasn't for the constant pain that was wringing through her body she would have thought she had dreamt what had just happened. She continued to lie still, unable to move, listening to the voices of the people around her, searching for a clue as to her wareabouts

'Hang another bag of O- and let CT know we're coming down'

she heard one woman say. It was then it clicked with her that she must be in a hospital, but how did she get there? had someone found her lying motionless in that darkened alley?

'Meredith…Meredith can you hear me?' the woman asked softly but Meredith's eyes still refused to open. She was exhausted, her energy had just died out and even a simple thing like opening her eyes proved to be a little too much for her, but the woman tried again. 'Meredith? Meredith if you can hear me I want you to squeeze my hand'

She struggled with that too, yet managed to pull some ounce of energy from deep within her and gave the woman's hand a very subtle squeeze.

'Response is good' the woman declared pulling her hand from Meredith's. Instantly, her hand felt cold and she suddenly was extremely aware that she was all alone in the world. There was no one there to hold her hand, there would be no one there to help her pull through this whole thing. How did she get here? Loneliness was something she had never minded before, usually a bottle of Tequila proved to be very effective in helping her forget that she was in fact alone! As a child she was alone, her parents never had any real care for her and when her mother died nothing had really felt any different. Her father had left when she was only four years old and had never looked back, he had a new family now. She had often walked past his house and saw him eating dinner with his new exquisite wife and two perfect adoring daughters. She wondered how any parent could move on so quickly and forget so easily. He hadn't even called when her mother died!

'What have we got' a male voice had just entered the room, it startled her a little but she continued listening to what was going on around her. While she was awake and aware of the happenings around she still lay lifeless on the gurney.

'Female…appears to be in her late twenties…found unconscious in an alley off William St…her ICP pressure is high, we've called down for a CT' the woman answered so effortlessly. 'Load up the portable monitor'

'No I want MRI…if ICP is high there is a chance of haemorrhaging, CT won't work' the man interrupted. Once again people were buzzing around the room hectically and Meredith could feel herself falling again into that deep sleep as a hand rested gently on her head and began brushing through her blonde locks.

'What kind of monster did this to her?' the man whispered as he continued stroking through her hair. Suddenly a shrieking noise filled the room as Meredith flat-lined!

Derek Shepherd was one of the top ten neuro-surgeons in the country. His record was flawless, any life that fell into his hands usually pulled through to the other side. He was extremely sought after and while most of his colleagues would regard him as arrogant, that is what made him the best. He didn't care about making friends within the hospital environment, he was there to save lives and nothing more. His extremely good looks often meant the female staff, and a few of the male staff, swooned over him, each fighting to be on his service, however Derek had no time for romance. While he had always wanted a family, finding the right girl had been difficult for him. His dark curly locks were always groomed to perfection and his sky-blue eyes were capable of capturing anyone's attention. However, his most distinctive, and perhaps his most admirable quality, were his skills as a surgeon and his compassion for other people.

Derek began scanning the OR board attentively, identifying immediately that he had another craniotomy in OR 4 in just over an hour, just enough time to allow him to check in on the girl he had operated on earlier that morning. She had occupied his mind for most of the day, no one had claimed her yet, she was alone and he felt someone should be there when she woke up. Her surgery had went well but she would have to be monitored over the next couple of days. He knew her recovery would be a long road, and not just physically but emotionally as well. No one knew for sure what had happened, only she could tell them that and he hoped she'd be able to remember once she woke up, if she woke up.

'Ah Dr. Shepherd just the man I was looking for' an older man interrupted as he approached the OR board and stood beside Derek.

'Chief…what can I do for you?' Derek had a frustrated tone to his voice as he answered the chief of surgery. He usually wouldn't be so abrupt with Chief Webber but it had been a long night and an even longer morning.

'I need you to speak at today's M&M' it sounded as more of a demand than a request and Derek sighed heavily at the thought. He hated speaking at those things. Surgeons were such arrogant creatures and always had a way of making you look bad. 'Your method on reducing the effects of Alzheimer's disease has proven to be quite a topical piece over the past few weeks and I know a lot of the staff have burning questions'

Derek let out another sigh before answering the chief. He wasn't a man that would except a 'no' easily.

'Chief…I don't really specialize in the disease that was just a suggested method on my part. It shouldn't have even been published, that article was about a completely different subject, the Alzheimer piece had just a brief mention…I can't anyway I have a patient that I need to monitor'

His argument was true, however the chief looked frustrated and un-impressed with his response. He pinched between his eyes trying to relief the headache that was now bursting through.

'Shepherd…that's what we have interns for…now I need you to do this…two o'clock in conference room B…don't be late' The chief didn't even wait for a response as he turned on his heels and disappeared around the corner.

Derek let out a disapproving grunt and ran his hands vigorously through his curly locks. He wasn't in the form to be ambushed with questions, questions he knew he wouldn't have the answer to. His day just seemed to be getting worse and he turned and headed in the direction of the scrub room to scrub in for his second craniotomy of the day. His patient, Meredith Grey, would have to wait.

He left conference room B after a painful and exhausting ninety-eight minutes. He never thought surgeons, especially general surgeons, would have so much interest in Alzheimers. He answered each question as best he could. He was never one to show his ignorance in a subject, he was professional and extremely enthusiastic with everything he did. If he didn't know the answer to a question he would respond with a simple 'there is still research being carried out in this area and as such, I have no definite answer in relation to your question', it was well clear and to the point and an answer he had clearly memorized vividly for all M&Ms and the occasional interview.

As he crossed over into the large foyer of the hospital his mind quickly drifted back to the girl who lay in room 2082 on the surgical floor. It had been exactly seven hours since her surgery and he knew she would be drifting in and out of conciousness very soon. He wanted to be there when she became more aware of her situation. The trauma she had so obviously suffered the night before was something he felt no one should have to tackle alone and he was quite prepared to fill in for her family until they arrived. He made a quick coffee run on the way, ordering his daily dose of a double expresso and after knocking it back in one quick motion he made his way to the third floor.

Stepping out of the elevator he shortly noticed something wasn't right. Nurses were scampering through the halls as the adrenaline pumped through their systems. It was then that Derek noticed the red light flashing above the nurses station which he knew immediately was signalling a code-blue. As he processed his thoughts he quickly tuned into auto-pilot and ran hastily towards the patients room. Stepping through the door he noticed that the doorway he was standing in belonged to room 2082!