Carla felt a bout of nausea overcome her and she bolted to the bathroom just in time to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl. Shaking slightly she steadied herself holding onto the edge of the wash basin. Her vision was hazy as she shook her head in a futile attempt to rid the acidic taste of vomit in her throat. "Carla are you okay?" Maria asked from the hallway where she was bouncing Liam on her hip as he nibbled on a piece of toast. "Yeah just a bit queasy." Carla said as she took a few shaky breaths then froze. How long had it been since her period? With everything she hadn't even thought about it but well even before the rape she had been a few days late an…and well she paled slightly as she shook her head refusing to even contemplate the thought. They had given her a morning-after pill at the examination but she'd been so queasy after the attack she had thrown up several times and well she had read stories in her glossy magazines of women who'd thrown up after taking the pill and subsequently ended up pregnant. She sank down on her knees as she tried to do the maths in her head. It was almost two months since the rape and she'd been about four days late then. She rubbed her temple as tears welled in her green eyes.
"Carla, you sure you're okay. I'm going to take Liam to nursery that's all." Maria said as she frowned at Carla's long stint in the bathroom. "Erm yeah course." Carla's reply came though Maria was sure there was something different in Carla's tone. "Well I'm going to work after but if you want to stay here for the day you're welcome to." She said as she took Liam's jacket from the back of the couch. "Come on sweetie, you going to have a fun day at nursery?" She said as she set her son on the floor to put his coat on. She shook her head slightly as she glanced at the locked bathroom door but supposed it wasn't fair to pester Carla if she just wanted some quiet. "Well I'll see you Car, I'll be back around 6ish." Maria said as she zipped up Liam's little coat, smiling at her son. "See you." Carla said quietly as she stood gripping the porcelain side of the basin steadying herself. It wasn't possible, there was no way that any god would put her through this as well as everything else she'd gone through. She waited as she heard the key turning in the lock and she let out a frustrated cry. She knew that simply standing there disbelieving that she could be pregnant would not help anyone in the long run and if she kept her head firmly in the sand then at some point it'd be too far along for her to make any decision, it would be completely out of her hands. Shed have to go and get a test from somewhere, she still felt bile rise in her mouth as she thought that potentially she could be carrying the spawn of that monster.
Having put on a pair of jeans and a loose top she stood in front of the mirror trying to decide if she could see any visible differences in her shape. If anything she had lost weight after the attack, unable to keep much food down when she had felt up to eating. Placing a hand on her tummy she silently prayed that her fears were going to be completely unfounded after she had carried out the test, that she was simply been daft. After everything that had gone on it would hardly be surprising if her stress level had contributed to the absence of her period what with Frank's Mother turning up out of the blue in the factory and then Frank taking away her business, the last thing she had that had seemed to spur her on. She knew she had to get a test but part of her didn't want to in case it came back and delivered the terrible news she suspected. She didn't want a baby least of all that bastards. A memory of the fiend who assaulted her and in one swift swoop took away every confidence she had in herself. Tying her hair into a messy ponytail she rubbed her temple wandering how she had got herself into this mess.
Peter smiled as he saw Maria leading little Liam by the hand from the cabin. "Hello love, hiya mate." Peter said with a warm smile for the tiny boy. "Hi Peter." Maria said as she half expected his next question. "How is she?" He asked awkwardly. His concern for Carla was completely understandable given that he had been the one Carla had called following her suicide attempt but Maria also knew that he was venturing on dangerous territory as Leanne had made it clear she disliked her husband been so close to Carla. Not that Maria completely blamed the blonde for that, after all she too had been in a similar position not that long ago though with Liam things had been very different then, he hadn't been helping her to sort her life out after a rape ordeal. "Well she's okay. A bit quiet this morning though, spent most of it in the bathroom. But maybe it's some anniversary or something, Paul, Liam even Tony there's lots of days must cause some pain for her." Maria said as Peter nodded.
"Do you think she'd mind if I popped round to see her?" He asked as Maria shrugged.
"I don't think she'd mind but won't Leanne?" She asked as Peter sighed. He hated this sneaking around and wished he could be honest with his wife but he was not up for long arguments and he couldn't stand by and simply let Carla struggle when he knew that perhaps he could offer her some support, even if it was simply letting her lean in for a much-needed hug. "Well maybe if you could try not to mention it." Peter said as Maria nodded with a small smile. "Yeah, anyway I best get this little man to nursery, see you." She said as Peter nodded.
"Yeah see you." He looked up towards the flat and wandered if he might be able to get her to talk.
Carla buttoned up her coat and grabbed her bag trying to convince herself that she was been silly and it was simply her stress levels causing her to skip her period. Still it would be best to ensure she was right and it was simply stress. She froze slightly as the buzzer rang. Part of her was tempted to ignore it and simply wait for it to stop. Maria had her key and she couldn't think of anyone wanting to visit at such an early time as this. The buzzer beeped again and she bit her lip. Sidling up to the window she wandered if she could try and see who it was without herself been seen. Peeking out slightly, her back to the wall she spotted a familiar brown leather jacket and sighed lifting a finger to her trembling lip. How was it he came when she needed him, like he had some connection to her. She clicked her tongue against her cheek as she found herself questioning if she really wanted to see him now, when her head was completely messed up. Picking up the intercom phone she answered. "Hello."
"Carla, it's me Peter. Can I come up?" He asked and she smiled slightly to herself. As if she could think it was anyone else. She knew it was stupid harbouring her feelings for Peter but to her he was perfect, her knight in shining armour. Hell if she was still at school she'd be writing their initials inside a love heart on her exercise books. "Yeah course." She answered as she pressed the button allowing access to the downstairs door. She stepped over Liam's building blocks and shook her head at the fact the toys lying around only caused her to dwell over her major worry. Unlocking the door she smiled seeing him stood there. "Hey." He said simply as she felt her stomach flip at his warm brown eyes.
"You coming in or you planning on standing on the top step?" She ventured as Peter smiled at her.
"Well I guess I'll come in if that's okay with you." Peter said as Carla nodded. She appreciated he still didn't take it that she was okay with him just wandering in. Even though she felt utterly safe with Peter she was still wary at times with men she didn't know.
"I bumped into Maria earlier." Peter said as Carla went to put the kettle on for them both.
"Oh, that were clumsy of you." She responded as she picked up two clean mugs from the draining board and quickly dried them with a tea towel. "Oh very funny. She seemed a bit concerned about you." Peter said as he turned to look at her. "Why?"
"She said you were in the toilet a while this morning." Peter said as he looked at her with a questioning gaze. "Oh and you thought I'd got myself pissed?" Carla said a little peeved that he was so quick to think that. "Well no, but it'd be completely understandable if you had done, with everything you've been through." Peter said.
"Oh I wish it was just that Peter. God I wish it were." Carla said as she put a teaspoon into the coffee jar. Peter detected the anger in her voice and looked at her. "Car?"
"I'm late." She said simply as Peter scrunched up his nose slightly.
"For what? Ohh." He said as the realisation came over him what she actually meant. Carla looked at him as he got up from the couch. "Oh god Car."
"It could be stress, I so hope it is." Carla said as Peter looked at her wandering what she wanted, whether she'd push him away if he gathered her in his arms right now. "Oh Carla."
"I was late before he…he….so it might not be from that night but even so it'd be his an…an…" She trailed off as tears fell down her cheeks and she shook her head silently. Peter had her in his arms in an instance for once not waiting for her to wander into his arms knowing that right now he needed to be strong for her.