A/N: Ok so I hate killing of characters, especially main characters, so this will probably be the only fanfic that I do so in. It's just I had to write it. I heard the song for the first time in years and I thought, "You know if Suze ever passed away, I'm sure this is how Jesse would feel." But don't expect this kind of thing from me a lot because like I said, I hate killing characters but even more so I hate making Jesse sad. So I hope you like this. I'm going to try and write more if I can
Disclaimer: I don't own the Mediator or the song.
It's been a year, a year since Susannah's accident. People said it would get easier but they were wrong. It gets harder. Every day I miss her more. She was my world, my life. Not only did she give my life meaning but she also just gave me my life. She gave me everything and now she was gone. I didn't know what to do.
I was visiting with Susannah's friends Ceecee, Adam, and Gina. They were having a hard time on this day too. Susannah had touched many lives and every one of them missed her but none more than me.
We were sitting in some karaoke bar try to drown our sorrows. Suddenly Gina dragged me on stage and handed me the mike. I saw the song she had chosen for me to sing. It was on that I had told her reminded me of Susannah, Easton Corbin's I Can't Love You Back.
"Go on Jesse, let them know how you feel," Gina told me.
I took a deep breath and spoke into the microphone, "Everyone this song is for my wife Susannah, who was in a car accident a year ago today."
The music began to play and I joined in softly with singing.
I can love you in the morning
I can love you all day
I heard a few gasp from people who obviously knew what this song was about.
I can you even more when I get home
I can love you every second to the ends of earth
Where needing you's the only thing that's on my broken one track mind
I was about to come to the chorus which is the hardest part for me so I took a deep breath and continued to sing.
Girl I love you crazy
It comes so easy, after all we had
I could love you with all my heart
But the hardest part is
I just can't love you back.
I was crying by now but my voice hadn't broken. I needed to get this out. To let Susannah, wherever she was, know that I missed her.
I can write a thousand letters
Call a hundred times a day
Or try to drown my sorrows at the bar
I could go down to the church
Get on my knees and pray
But it still won't change the way things really are
Won't bring you back to me
Nothing could bring Susannah back to me. I'm not a shifter. I can't go back in time and stop Susannah's accident.
Girl I love you crazy
It comes so easy, after all we had
I can love you with all my heart
But the hardest part is
I just can't love you back
My voice can full with even more emotion as I sang the last few words of the song, tears falling constantly from my eyes.
I can love you for all I'm worth
To the ends of the earth
But I just can't love you back
I looked around the bar as the song faded. Every eye had tears in them. They all realized that Susannah did not survive the car accident I had mentioned earlier.
Then I noticed someone I hadn't before. She was standing in the back with the same tears in her eyes that I had. Her glow set her off from everyone else. When I saw her a sad smile came to my face. I hadn't seen her since that morning a year ago.
I was happy to see her but I also knew that she was here to say goodbye.
I went to her and she led me outside, I guess so I didn't look like a crazy guy talking to the wall, not that I really cared.
"Jesse," she said when she had me alone.
"Querida please don't. I know why you're here. I don't think I can bare hearing it come from your mouth though," I said as I laid my hand on my precious Susannah's face.
She gave me the same sad smile I had when I saw her.
"Then let me just say that I want you to be happy Jesse. Anyway you know how to be. I love you and all I want is for you to be happy," she said to me.
"I love you too, Susannah. I'll try to be happy, for you."
I kissed her to affirm my promise and then she was gone, forever.