Don't Let Go

© 2013 by dqmwartist

I felt almost breathless with the kiss Sully placed on my lips, and my heart was beating fast. Never in my life had I felt a love like this for anyone. I knew the moment he asked there was no one I would rather spend the rest of my life with.

He leaned in for another kiss; as I felt my body react, becoming soft and willing, falling over, and taking him with me. He quickly pulled me close as I inhaled the scent of him and his sweat. I could feel the beads of sweat forming on my skin, making my clothing feel heavy and hot.

"Is there anyone we should ask permission to marry?" he whispered into my ear as we lay on the fur inside the sweat lodge. I thought a moment before replying, "The children." They were a part of my life now and they should have the right to know whom I was going to marry. "Hope they say yes," he murmured into my long hair.

"They adore you, and I can't think why they wouldn't," I answered back, hoping he was right. Brian had looked up to Sully since he was little and Colleen had learned to accept him as a friend. Matthew was of age, but I believed he would want this for his brother and sister.

Silence hung in the air with only the sounds of nature to fill it, steam rising from the rocks and our hearts beating as one. Everything seemed so peaceful. "I had a vision, just now," he said breaking the silence. "Oh?" I was curious, enough to want to pry, but decided to wait and see if he told me. "Thought I was gonna lose you," he replied. "You were in a vision, I didn't want to let go of, and I vowed when it vanished I wouldn't."

"Oh Sully," I breathed, "I'm not going anywhere." As much as I didn't want to believe Cloud Dancing's dream of a Hawk carrying me away from Sully, I hoped it wasn't true. His answer was to pull me closer as we watched the folds of the lodge blow gently with the breeze. "You were beautiful in white, like an angel in my eyes. I was completely taken with you, and the moment you slipped from my arms, I wanted you back again." His words came out as a surprise I wasn't expecting. Even in the quiet, I found myself moving closer to him as if he might suddenly disappear.

I wasn't sure how long we lay there tangled in each other's arms, but when I blinked open my eyes I could see the light had vanished. Everything seemed very still and darker than when I had entered. "Sully," I called out softly. "Are you awake?" "Hmmm," he murmured as he rolled towards me, knocking me back down. I found myself trapped by his arm; heavy across me.

A part of me wanted to move, yet I soon found myself staring into the darkness, and then into the mists of a dream. Everything was a blur; although I could make out a tall, dark figure with a smell that was familiar to me. He seemed to know me, and I him, even though his features never sharpened. I found myself along city streets with him, the deep woods, and then near a building I couldn't quite make out. It was when he reached for my hand that, everything started to fade away. The next thing I felt was a chill down my back; before I nestled closer to Sully.

"Michaela," his voiced called out through the haze of sleep. "Sully," I whispered back. "Are you there?" He smiled down at me, "Yes." I smiled back before he kissed my lips lightly, causing parts of my body to react in ways I never thought possible. I was glad it wasn't completely light in here otherwise; he'd see how red my cheeks had turned. "Sleep well?" he asked, as I smiled and nodded, not ready yet to tell him about my dream. All I wanted was to enjoy this moment while it lasted.

"Good, 'cause; my headaches gone, and we might wanna think about heading back."

"I'm glad it's gone," I said, noticing in the dim light the absence of pain in his eyes. "I'll go get things packed up," he said. I watched him leave, sending in a beam of bright light as he exited, blinding me as it came and went.

After we had loaded the horses and started towards town, the nerves started to kick in. I worried a little what the children might say, but even more so what my mother might think. She never did approve of my coming out here, and a part of me doubted she'd be pleased by whom I was marrying. "What's troublin' you?"

I looked at the ground for a moment. "Telling mother about our engagement," I answered. "I'm sure she'll be happy," Sully offered up. "Thanks," I replied. "We seemed to be getting along better when I saw her in Boston and I hope that…" I trailed off losing my train of thought. "Things'll be ok," Sully said.

"Of course," I answered trying to sound as positive as he was.

"Have you learned nothing yet? She'd want you to be happy, Michaela. She loves you; and so do I."

"I love you, too," I answered as I moved closer to the man who was now my fiancé and whom I loved with all my heart and soul. He was right; Mother would want me to be happy. Even in her disproval she managed to find a way to meet me part way. I was just like her in many ways and had grown to be proud of that. I was grateful for Sully's assurances to me. He always seemed to find the right words at the right time.

Matthew, Brian, and Colleen stared up at us with anticipation. I wanted so badly to smile and share my joy, but another part of me was as nervous as could be. Here I was making another life changing decision, only this time it wasn't only about me; but my family. "We have something we'd like to tell you."

I felt Sully's arm rest on my back, causing my heart to flutter almost immediately. Dear God, give me the right words, I prayed silently. Next thing I knew, Sully took charge, and the question we had wanted to ask was soon out in the open. "Actually, I got something to ask; I'd like permission to marry your ma." I nearly lost my hearing and my balance when Colleen shrieked with glee and rushed over to give me a hug. Finally, I let a smile appear and felt my happiness to the fullest extent. The children were thrilled and I couldn't be happier. There was a rush of questions that followed many of which Sully and I hadn't considered yet. We were newly engaged, and there was, I hoped, plenty of time to set the date and plan things. The last thing I wanted was to rush into a marriage.

"Let's not say anything just yet about the engagement; we don't want to overshadow Horace and Myra's wedding," I said, part of me not ready to have it come out in the open just yet.

"Can't I tell Mr. Bray?" Brian asked.

"Not yet, pal, hang in there for now," Sully answered.

"Oh, alright, I'll wait." I could tell Brian was a bit disappointed he couldn't share the good news just yet. I then watched as Sully went over and put his arm around Brian, talking to him in hushed tones as they exited the homestead. Matthew smiled, "Happy for you both," he said just before turning to leave.

Colleen was still at my side when the men left, and the smile in her voice was still there. "I'm so excited," she exclaimed. "Weddings are so pretty, and I'm sure yours will be beautiful." I looked over at my daughter, "They sure are and a very special day in the life of a couple. It seems so long ago when I was in these same shoes, yet this time feels so different."

"How so?" I looked over and found a pair of innocent eyes staring up at me. She hadn't yet loved, but would someday, discovering all those strange and new feelings. "Loving David was having someone beside me who understood and respected my decision to be a doctor. He never shunned me the way Doc Cassidy has done, but thought of me as more of an equal. With Sully, it's as if I'm experiencing a whole new set of emotions. There is just so much more there I can't explain." I felt Colleen squeeze my hand, "Don't let go of the love you feel, I've seen it in your eyes. It's something special and I hope one day I can find it, too."