Start Again, a x-men: evolution fanfic

Starting Again

Summary: My version of our favorite X-men: Evolution episode, Cajun Spice, set to the lyrics of 'City' by Natalie Imbruglia, but not necessarily a songfic. I always loved the song and just started matching up certain things between the episode and the song, until the story flowed onto the screen. I just added a few little changes and voila! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Pardon this lame html thing that's adding all the spaces- it looked much better on my Microsoft, lol.

Disclaimer: As much as I wish it weren't true, I don't own 'City' or any form of X-men, not even Gambit. All I own is the computer I typed this story on and a few sandwiches,.. so don't sue me unless you particularly enjoy grilled cheese or ham- because I need my computer to continue typing.

Had a dream

Had a drowning dream

I was in a river of pain

Only difference this time

I wasn't calling out your name, yeah!

Rogue leaned on the window ledge, watching the fat raindrops roll and drip down the smooth glass as she thought to herself. And while she thought she grew heavier, more weighed down by life. Her eyes squeezed shut and she turned her face from the window, taking in desperate gasps of air as tears streamed down her cheeks. It was getting worse, the living. Just being there at the Institute, or even in Bayville, hurt. Especially since Kurt turned his back on her after she pushed Mystique off that cliff. Apocalypse, like so many others, had destroyed the meager existence she'd managed to scrape together just as she had a single hope of finally being happy. And while he'd taken all the powers from her, he'd left behind all those psyches- left them to tear her apart now that there was nobody to go to. They all either feared or hated her. Well, all but a precious few, and those few she wouldn't even dare consider.

The stripe-haired mutant threw off her gloves, putting her face in her hands. She'd been drowning for so long she couldn't even remember what it felt like to have fresh air in her lungs, to see the sky- and still she hadn't been able to leave until now. Because even after Kurt's psyche, like the boy himself, had turned his back to her, a new psyche had been there to pull her back. He had been there to pull her back. And now, after she finally managed to block him, she found herself thinking of him constantly. But today she woke with no name on her lips but that of the monster who haunted her, formed into a curse, and her eyes were hollow. Today she was completely alone.

Has it ended before it's begun

You hold on And I try to run but

Her luggage was packed before she even made her final decision. They'd been packed since she almost ran after she lost control of her powers, when Kurt had stopped her. Each item had been carefully chosen, re- considered, and re-consolidated into one bag. And running down the stairs with it before she had time to re-think this, Rogue knew that Xavier had been aware of her plans all along, including the fact that she wasn't planning on returning, and hadn't even cared enough to make an intervention. And she didn't know whether to be pleased or depressed, but before long she was heading past the high school for the train station. Even if the Brotherhood would accept her back, like she knew they would, she couldn't go back to that. And the Acolytes, like Magneto, were gone- not that she even considered them an option.

This was the only choice she had left and yet... "Rogue!" 'Oh no, not again,' she thought with a groan, hearing Kurt's voice. He must've noticed her bag, otherwise he probably would've have cared. "Rogue, are you leaving?" he asked simply, confused. 'Why do you care,' she felt like snapping. But instead she sighed, "Yeah, maybe, I just need to get away from the Institute right now. Maybe even Bayville," she added, her accent thick. He just nodded slightly, as if considering something, and a long moment of silence passed before someone called his name. "Hey Evan!" Kurt shouted back excitedly, turning away from her to face the other boy as he ran towards them. Looking at the two with yearning, she shook her head with tear- filled eyes and walked away. They probably wouldn't even notice, wouldn't think anything of it. -
"Hey man, where'd Rogue go?" Evan asked, catching up to Kurt. The teleporter glanced around to see that she'd left and shrugged, "Dunno, I'll have to ask her after school," he replied, not even considering the fact that she might not be there. -

Anybody heading in my direction

Away from the city

Anybody wanna change the way they feel

Step inside

Rogue stopped in an alley miles away, catching her breath after having run the past half hour. "Bonjour chérie," an annoyingly familiar Cajun voice said from behind her. "Swamp Rat! What're you doin' here, stalking me?" she demanded. He smiled with all his usual charm and she struggled to remember that he wasn't the Gambit in her head- wasn't the one she missed, who'd pulled her back from the edge. "No, Remy jus' watchin' out fo' you, petite. Thought you might need a vacation, an' since you were plannin' on leavin' anyways..." "So?" "So Remy was thinkin' he'd take you to N'Orleans. He was goin' dere anyways an' remembered de Rogue was from dat neck of de woods. Maybe we go together, hien?" Rogue cocked her head, actually thinking it over. She knew, from instinct and from having his psyche in her head, that there was more to his offer. But there were so many other things to consider... "Okay," she said simply, hoisting her bag over one shoulder. "Let's go." Gambit looked surprised, obviously not expecting that, but then he burst into a grin. "Bon," he replied, pleased. "Jus' step dis way..."

Doesn't really matter where you want to take me

Away from the city

I wanna start again

I wanna take it back I wanna start again

Rogue got on the red and black motorcycle behind Gambit, putting her arms loosely around his waist as told her to hang on, zipping out of the alley way at top speed. But as they buzzed around, her bag safely secured, she held on to him tighter, sighing as all the sensations ran together to create perfect bliss. Meanwhile, ahead of her, Gambit held his breath as he felt it too. And he couldn't help but extend the ride to prolong the feeling. But as the ride drew on and they finally neared the train station, both picked up on the distinct sound of another motorcycle following them. Heart beating double-time, Rogue opened her eyes and drew back enough to glance behind them. "Logan," she breathed.

Sensing that there would be even more trouble if she didn't do something, she put her hand on Gambit's shoulder to get his attention. "Pull over," Rogue said softly, "I can handle this." Hesitating slightly, he shook his head but did as she asked, preparing for a fight as they got off the bike miles yet from the station. The Wolverine pulled over too, coming towards them, or more specifically Gambit, with his claws out as the Cajun charged a card. "Stripes, what're you doin'? If he's hurtin' you, or Magneto is..." "Magneto's got nothing to do with this. We're leaving, Logan. I'm leaving. On my own." His face changed, still disbelieving, distrusting. "Why..." She shook her head, "I'm sorry Logan." Tears in her eyes, she lifted a bare hand to his face. And screamed as it all began again...

Funny how those friends forget you

when you tire of their games

You miss a show or a party that blows

And they've forgotten your name, yeah

And you wonder what you've become

They pull you back when you try to run

Rogue sat in the back of the train cart in silence two days later, eyes closed. "You better now petite?" she heard Gambit ask, somehow knowing she was awake. She opened brilliant emerald eyes to smile at him. He'd carried her that mile to the train when they couldn't take the bike anymore- almost protecting her, taking care of her, after she'd screamed and passed out, falling into that all too familiar post-absorption spiral. "Better," she said, coming to stand at the open door and looking out. She sighed. It was almost funny how two single incidents, neither of which she had no control over (either due to Apocalypse's control or a troubled mind), changed everything so drastically, so horribly.

Shaking her head, she turned back to where Gambit was sitting and playing with his cards. "How long until we reach New Orleans?" Rogue asked softly. "'Bout four hours." She nodded, glancing back at the moving landscape before walking around to sit at the table with him. "So how 'bout you tell me the real reason you're takin' me on this little trip?" she asked with a raised brow, her look leaving no room for reasoning. The Cajun sighed. "Alright, it's like dis..."

Well anybody heading in my direction

Away from the city

Anybody wanna change the way they feel

Step inside

Hours later they hopped off the train, stepping into New Orleans in the throes of their Mardi Gras celebration. Rogue looked around with a small sigh. She'd almost forgotten it was about that time of the year- had forgotten entirely just how good it felt to be back in the south. But, walking down the streets with Gambit, it all came rushing back and it was like she never left. As they strolled through the lower end of The Big Easy looking for a very specific club, she actually found herself sneaking peeks at the Cajun- and when he caught her, grinning, she felt her heart leap. What was it about him that made her act this way? While she asked herself that question, striving to answer it, they reached their destination and she didn't even realize it until she felt his hand on her back. "Dis is it, petite, allons-y."

Rogue jumped a mile at his touch then scowled at his amusement. But she turned into the doorway with a nod, trying not to shiver at the feel of his hand flat against the small of her back, him brushing against her as they went in together, his lips tickling her ear as he whispered to her. They stopped just off the dance floor as she saw Gambit scan the club. "Looks like we're gonna have to wait a bit, chérie," he breathed in her ear. And that time she did shiver. "Great," she remarked with a twist of her lips, keeping her voice cool. "What do we do while we wait?" The Cajun took her bag, setting it at a nearby table, then led her out to the dance floor as the music started, wrapping her in his arms. "We dance," he smiled, red-on-black eyes burning on hers.

Doesn't really matter where you wanna take me

Away from the city

They danced for hours before finally making their way back to the table, laughing, to order drinks and Jambalaya (on Gambit's assurance that it was well worth it). And the more they talked, the more Rogue found herself forgetting why they were there and looking at it like it was a date. "If I didn't know better, I would've thought that you brought me out here hours early on purpose just so you could cozy up to me," Rogue murmured, staring into his mesmerizing eyes, hand paused on the spoon stirring her Jambalaya. "Why can't it be?" he asked in the same low tone, his voice husky. Her green orbs widened fractionally, lips parted in shock. His mouth curved into a sensual smile.

"Remy LeBeau, you devil-eyed son of a snake!" Some greasy haired man yelled from across the room. "Dat's our cue chérie," the Cajun said with a short laugh. They got up and made their way towards the target, Rogue removing her gloves while Gambit gladly distracted them with a fight. It was surprising how fast her opinion of him changed, she wondered to herself as her gaze slid to charming man beside her. Even before he mentioned that he'd been blackmailed into joining Magneto and before he spoke of the lengths he was going through to save the man that had raised him- even though he hadn't been a very good father. She didn't even mind so much that he brought her there mainly because of her powers, to use her for them like so many others had wanted to.

Shaking her head with an amazed smile, she faced the man that held the answers they needed. "Show time," she smirked. Without much of a fight, Rogue soon touched a hand to her face and he dropped the same time most of his goons did. She gritted her teeth head while she assimilated his knowledge, locking his personality away with the rest, then gave Gambit a wave. "Ready to go, follow me!" she called with a pronounced accent as he set off a series of explosions to throw the others off their trial. It was time to play rescuer again and this time it was all her choice.

I wanna start again

wanna take it back I wanna start again

The next few moments seemed to speed by as they located the guild members' boat and Rogue guided them through the swamp on the way to the assassins' base, pointing out all the traps and water-mines. But time nearly stopped when a sniper for their enemies found them out and Gambits' sharp eyes and great night vision allowed them to leap out seconds before the boat blew up. But as they got to relatively safe grounds, Rogue just lay on the shaded, hidden patch of land, fighting the dizziness and unconsciousness. And Gambit appeared pretty beat himself, though better off than her. They'd barely gotten out of the way in time and took part of the blow. When the Cajun moved over to her, to see how she was, he brushed her hair out of her face, only to accidentally touch her bare skin with his.

Rogue shot up when some of his life force rushed into her for the second time, stronger, and saw him fall back as she clutched her head with a scream, pain shooting through her. All those thoughts and memories and feelings... all his pain... And she had so much of her own, so much more in her head that she couldn't deal with... Rogue curled up into herself as Gambit just lay there, caught again by the downward spiral she'd lived in since Apocalypse's release and wandering if she should've just stayed at the Institute. At least there she would've had the professor to help her. Whimpering and crying softly, she didn't notice Gambit, who was much stronger than she'd realized, rise slowly, wincing but making his way back to her. 'Even perfect, popular Jean never had to go through anything like this,' she thought darkly. 'Jean never knew the pain and heartache of never being able to touch without suffering and making others suffer.

' "Rogue," an accented voice said gently, a hand touching her arm. "No!" she yelled, frightened, thrusting her hand out as her head snapped up, eyes glazed. She saw Gambit fly back, hit by a telekinetic blast. From her. "Oh God," she whispered, her worry drowning out everything else. "Gambit, I'm so sorry." A pained expression crossed his face briefly before it was replaced by his usual smooth demeanor. "No worries, chére," he said casually. But she felt his pain keenly. She'd absorbed his empathic powers too. His gaze went to the mansion just a mile away. "We better get goin' fast d'ough," he added quickly, holding out a hand. Rogue flinched away. "I can't," she cried tearfully. "I can't go." "Rogue-""No, you go save your father. I can't. My head... the psyches... it's too much," she choked out, wrapping her arms around her knees, eyes distressed. "Go!"

He hesitated a while longer, one hand clad in fingerless gloves raised to comfort her, but then he dropped it and walked off without a word. She watched him go before she collapsed again, sobbing harder. She must've been like that, alone, for thirty minutes before she just stopped for some reason, filled with a sudden peace and realization. And the pain stopped, and the voices stopped, and she closed her eyes as the sensation came to her or being wrapped in a warm embrace; a blanket of sunlight that gave her an indescribable power, control. Then something told her that everything would be okay. Standing, she wiped her face with a small smile. Gambit, Remy LeBeau, loved her. Or at least, he was growing to love her- she saw it in his memories. And she felt the same. But now, now he needed her.

I left the me I used to be

I wanna see this through

I left the me I used to be

If only you'd see it too

Using the memories she'd absorbed, she easily got into the sprawling plantation house, which was pretty well guarded. And after that it wasn't so hard to find Remy- she just had to keep an eye and an ear out for signs of trouble, stuff exploding, and panicked guild members running around. Rogue rounded the corner, draining one guy and knocking another out just by beating him. Then, circling about, she saw Remy and a strange man that could only be Jean-Luc LeBeau. Grinning at the former, she put her hands on her hips. "Remy LeBeau, I leave you alone for a few minutes and already you're causing a ruckus!" she said in a mock reprimanding tone, shaking her head. He turned around, his expression changing. "Chere!" he exclaimed. "Remy thought you weren't feelin' too well?"

Rogue shrugged with a secretive little smile as she reached him, running a gloved finger under his chin. "I wasn't," she said honestly, giving him a taste of everything she felt for him. "But then the thought of you made it all go away, mon cutie Cajun," she imparted, eyes shining into his as her lips curved tenderly. "More guards are coming though, so we gotta hurry." He nodded, clasping her hand with his for one sweet moment with his own smile, and they went to the corner. All three listened carefully then, hearing nothing out of place, Rogue motioned for them to follow her out, not bothering to explain how she knew. But before they could reach the boats, a dozen men came from behind them with guns.

"Uh oh," they said together, seconds before the wind picked up, the sky darkened, and lightning ripped across it as a familiar plane came into view; a few of the X-en seen at the open door. "Whoa, who are they?" she heard Jean-Luc say close by. "The X-men," Rogue found herself saying, staring as the plane came lower and some of the mutants using their powers from the plane to fight off the assassin guild members. Just sparing a glance at Remy, she put her hand on his arm for a second, "Let's go." Leaving the scene behind, the three took a boat, racing through the swamp with attackers at their side and questionable allies at their back.

Well I wonder what you've become

You pull me back when I try to run

Driving the boat, Rogue did her level best to loose the guild members as the X-men got closer. Then their boat was taken down, her and Jean-Luc somehow getting to the safety of land while Remy was stuck in the swamp. Helpless, she spotted alligators swimming up after him while the other team of mutants blasted the assassins' boat. Luckily Remy bested the gators, finding a stick and charging it as he let it go to swim away. Relieved, she helped him up, sighing as he held her. But, again, the X-men got in the way. Logan grabbed the former Acolyte, pushing him against a tree as the others surrounded the pair. "What d'ya think you're doin', bub?" the Wolverine growled, releasing his claws with a loud snickt and holding them a mere inch from Remy's throat. "Helping me!" Rogue snarled back, coming up and separating him from the Cajun. He looked at her, surprised, but didn't sheath the adamantium claws.

"Rogue!" Kurt exclaimed, coming up to her and giving her a hug. She allowed it uncomfortably but didn't return it, replying instead with a facsimile of a smile, feeling the emotion behind it. Even if they did all care in their own way, she couldn't forget all the reasons why she left- and couldn't go back to it. Stepping back, knowing they expected her to return to the Institute with them, Rogue just stood at Remy's side. With her eyes, she implored them to see that she wasn't the person she used to be, asked them to let her go even as her mouth formed the words. "I'm staying," she said softly. "With Remy. And if we choose to go back to New York, to the Institute, it'll be later- when things are a bit more different." Rogue slid her gaze to the Cajun beside her almost shyly and he touched her cheek lightly, the thin shield of her hair protecting them. The others were silent besides a growl from Logan and a cry from Kurt and Kitty.

Well anybody heading in my direction

Away from the city

Anybody wanna change the way they feel

Step inside

The stripe-haired girl just looked at her old friends sadly, knowing what they felt, what they wanted to feel, and wishing she cared more. But she was too hurt by their betrayals. When they turned from her, in fear and in hate, it had hurt a hundred times more than when the others did. Only Logan hadn't changed towards her, and she was joyful, but even the great affection she felt for him wouldn't sway her now. she smiled at him softly, bypassing Kurt and Kitty. "Logan, you've been like a father to me and understood me more than anyone else. You were the only one who didn't turn from me, thank you. I'll miss you most of all. But Remy... he makes me happy, and lately that's been a pretty rare thing. You should understand." The look in his eyes changed and she saw that he did. "Plus, I'm not staying away forever, just a while."

Rogue's gaze slid to the rest of the group, jaw tight. "It'll be better for all of us." Then she felt Jeans relief at having this challenge to her control, this misfit and hazard to the perfection of her happy group, gone. Full of anger and disgust, she turned her back to them and allowed Remy to lead her away, adding for Jean's benefit, "When I touched Apocalypse months ago, I got a peek into his head. You won't be able to stop anything he does next- our chance will come after his four horsemen are in place. Mutants you've thought destroyed with powers amplified surpassing your very imaginings. And you'll need me again." Rogue laughed, giving a little wave behind her. "This is beyond your control, Jeannie. Try not to put the world in danger just because you don't like me. Not yet anyways." With that, she was gone. And the remaining members of group just stared as she disappeared. One of their own. The Rogue. Once and for always their greatest strength.

Doesn't really matter where you wanna take me

Away from the city

I wanna start again

I wanna take it back

I wanna start again

Start again.