Summary: Clint grieving Natashas death in the endgame.
I will miss Natasha. I love her 3000.
Clint rolled over as he woke up next to Laura for the first time in 5 years. He smiled as he ran his fingers ever so lightly over her arm, careful not to wake her. He had to make sure this wasn't a dream. He hadn't gone into a good place when they disappeared. He had told her about what happened to Natasha last night. Clint pulled her into his arms as Laura moved slightly beginning to wake up. She relaxed into the warmth of his body. Laura had commented on his new scars but he had yet to tell her what he had done as Ronin. A quick google search and she would know all about it. He really hoped she would still want to be with him after seeing that.
"I'm just remembering the first time you told me about how you saved Nat. I honestly thought you were having an affair. I thought she was going to seduce you, things would get out of hand and you know. It took until I met her for the first time to trust her", Laura said remembering Natasha. Clint felt his eyes swell up with tears. Laura turned around in his arms to face him.
*** 15 years ago (1 year after Clint recruits Natasha) ***
Clint looked over at the silent assassin beside him as he flew the jet his safe house. He felt anxious as he flew under the radar. Not even shield knew about the safe house. He reached over and checked her pulse, Natasha was still alive thank god. Budapest had been a suicide mission from the start. The red room had rigged the mission. It was a set up. They fought their way out guns and arrows blazing. Natasha has continued to fight despite being shot in the leg. Clint carried her out as shock had well set in by the time they had a chance to escape.
Clint undone his seatbelt and went to help Natasha. She glared at him before standing up and collapsing into his arms. Clint didn't hesitate to catch her and helped her walk up to the safe house.
"Where are we Barton?" Natasha asked him. She had just started calling him by his first name. This mission really messed with her. Clint inhaled a deep breath, giving himself a chance to think of how best to answer her. "Somewhere safe. It's off the radar. Shield doesn't even know it exists and I'd like to keep it that way". Natasha looked him in the eyes as he had stopped walking. She nodded. He knew that meant she wouldn't tell a soul.
Clint opened the front door before helping Natasha into the living room.
"Laura?" Clint called out. Natasha frowned slightly before controlling emotions. Clint sat her down on the couch in the open plan living area. She shock slightly now that she mwas on her own. Laura waddled in a bra and shorts.
"Clint! You could have told me we have company", Laura gave out to him before going to put on a t shirt. "I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to call ahead", Clint hesitated to leave Natasha but once he knew that she wasn't going to pass out he followed Laura upstairs.
"How could you bring her here? You have a wife" Laura was on the verge of tears.
"Laura nothing has happened between us and nothing ever will. If you want I will take Natasha back to shield and you will never see her again. Please just talk to her first. Something happened and she won't talk about it. She never really talks about much but this really fucked her up", Clint bargained with her.
"Alright", Laura said as she headed back to the living area.
Laura sat down beside Natasha. Natasha visibly tensed up. "I'm sorry I would give you space but I can't get out of the arm chair anymore", Laura told her with a slight laugh. Natasha looked like a lost puppy. Laura noticed her flinch every time Clint moved. He might trust her but she very clearly had trouble doing the same.
"Clint could you make us some tea?" Laura asked him. He nodded and left the room. Natasha watched him leave. Laura couldn't help but notice how young and frightful she looked. They talked for a short while before Laura brought her up to their room to lie down. Natasha payed down in the middle of the room. Laura helped to get the blankets over her.
"Do you want me to stay?" Laura asked her. Natasha thought about it before answering her.
"Will Clint be mad?" Laura smiled at her concern for Clint. "He can sleep outside if he complains. In no way shape or form does he run this house or what we do here", Laura told her with serious tone. Natasha smiled at her. She wished she could be that strong one day. She could pretend to be but really they still terrified her. Natasha nodded.
"Please stay", Natasha replied. Laura laid down beside her.
There was silence between them before Natasha broke it. Laura took this time to think about how she just met this woman and now she was lying in bed with her. God she was good at her job.
"Are you pregnant?" Natasha asked her. Laura nodded smiling as she rubbed her stomach.
"What's it like?" Natasha asked her. "Right now its just uncomfortable trying to stand back up because of all the weight on my front, you know. I can't wait to meet him though. It's strange knowing that there's a tiny human growing inside of me", Laura answered her.
"Did you want to have a child with Clint?" Natasha asked her. Laura frowned slightly at the unusual question. "We didn't plan him if that's what you mean but it sort of just happened. When we we're in the heat of the moment and forgot to use condom. You know it just happened and he's here. I regret anything. Amazing sex and a beautiful baby on the way", Laura replied to her. Natasha shook her head ever so slightly.
"No", Natasha hesitated. "I never liked sex". Laura took her hand in hers. "Did you have sex on this mission?" Natasha nodded before looking anywhere but into Laura's eyes. She felt like scum. She didn't deserve to even talk to Laura and still hurt.
"Have you ever willingly wanted to have sex Natasha?" Laura asked her as she tried to keep eye contact and seem as unthreatening as possible. Natasha opened her mouth to say something but shut it again and shook her head. She didn't understand why someone would want to have sex willingly.
"That's called rape. It's wrong and it shouldn't have happened and it is in no way your fault that it happened. Those men deserve to have their dicks chopped off, cooked and be forced to eat it." Laura told her. Natasha laughed at the imagery.
*** Present day ***
Clint found the tears running down his cheeks. Natasha was like a sister to him. How is he going to tell Cooper, Lila and Nathaniel that Auntie Nat is dead. Clint shook his head.
"You won't be alone. We'll tell them together," Laura comforted him. Laura sat up as they heard a knock on the door. It was Lila with Nathaniel. Lila knew something was up when she saw her dad crying.
"Lila can you tell Coop to come in here. We have something we need to tell you" Laura asked her. Clint sat up and wiped his eyes. Cooper sat down on the edge of the bed and Lila sat with her father. Clint wrapped an arm around her.
"When we were going back in time to get the stones to reverse the snap. Natasha and I went to get the soul stones. Unlike the other stones, this one needed a sacrifice. A soul for a soul. Neither of us wanted to let the other person die. But Natasha despite my best efforts. I'm sorry Natasha's not coming back" Clint explained to them.
"Natasha died so that half of the universe could live", Laura said attempting to comfort them. Clint took Lila into a hug as she began to cry. "It's not fair", Lila mumbled against him. Laura hugged Nathaniel as Cooper ran off. If he wanted space to process it, then they'd give him some.
Thanks for reading x