'You know I love you like family, right?'
That's what she had said.
Her words echoed loudly in his head, and it seems that the more he drank, the louder they got. The bar was loud with noise coming from the t.v. screens from sports games being shown with their loud commentary not muted, people talking and laughing loudly and someone playing music from their laptop, the whole place was a big headache. A headache that was quickly forming in Eric's head, as it took over his senses, his ability to function properly, as it pounded harder and louder as the seconds ticked by.
Eric couldn't take it anymore. He needed to get out of there.
He slammed the empty bottle of beer on the bar, and slipped down the stool, as he swayed from one side to the other, hitting tables and chairs in the process, ignoring all the complaints from the people at the bar, as he pushed the swinging door open, finally making it out for some much needed fresh air. He bent down resting his hands flat on his knees, closing his eyes as he tried to put some focus in his brains. He needed to drive and he was drunk. As a CSI he knew very well the law and also knew that if he gets caught drunk driving, he will get in trouble...possibly getting suspended from work or even worse.
He was about to grab his phone to call her but he stopped. She was always the first person to come to mind whenever he needed someone whether it was to talk or to laugh, just spend time, just hug...anything he ever needed Calleigh had always been the first person to turn to. She was his best friend. Was! That is exactly it. She was and even though he felt like no one could replace her, things were different now, even if she pretended that they weren't.
He laughed sarcastically feeling suddenly hurt again about how nonchalant and cool she was acting about the state of their so called relationship. How could she act as if nothing ever happened between them? How could she even deny her feelings towards him? How could she look at him and pretend like he is still that person who she never made love to?
He straightened up, forbidding himself to continue thinking about her, when the sound of her laughter filled the air. His head spun around in the direction the laughter was coming from, almost making him dizzy as he watched her coming towards him, walking side by side to Jake Berkley.
Going out with a friend she said! Jake Berkley...that no good for nothing son of a bitch!
'Eric?' he heard her say 'What are you doing here?' she asked him, her eyes going to the sign on the bar Eric was still standing in front of.
One look at him, and Calleigh knew instantly that something was wrong. He was drunk. He didn't even need to loose his balance or slur while talking, or smell the scent of alcohol coming out from his mouth. He really didn't need to do any of that. One look at his form, in his eyes, and the answer was all laid out for her to see.
'Out with a friend eh?' he asked her sourly.
Calleigh pursed her lips together, before she turned to look at Jake who was staring amusingly at Eric 'Do you mind?' she asked him. Knowing that she was dismissing him, her attention now all on Eric, Jake walked away without saying a word. The rivalry between the two gentlemen was obvious to anyone working at the Miami Dade Police Department, and it hadn't gotten any better after Jake and Calleigh had split up and eventually Calleigh and Eric started seeing each other. Eric still hated the thought of the man.
'Eric? Why have you been drinking?' she asked him worriedly.
'What do you care?' he replied 'Why don't you go and catch up with your date?' he told her sourly as a hiccup escaped his mouth.
'I wasn't out on a date' she told him crossing her arms in front of her chest.
'I don't care' he replied.
'Yeah I can see that' she replied 'Come on let's go home' she told him, as she attempted to put a hand on his arm, sure that he would fall if she didn't assist him to the car, but Eric pulled away and Calleigh pulled her hand back as if he had suddenly burned her, jumping slightly at the sudden unexpected action. He had never reacted that way to her touch and Calleigh could feel the tears prick at the back of her eyes as a sharp pain tore to her heart.
'Eric please' she told him, ignoring the burning pain in her heart.
'Leave me alone Cal' he replied.
'Can we not do this here?' she asked him, with pleading eyes. He didn't say anything. He knew she was right, but he didn't feel like letting her hear the words either, instead he turned around slowly and started walking into the direction she was heading before she saw him.
Calleigh closed her eyes momentarily and took a deep long breath. It was going to be a hard long hour it seems and Calleigh was not prepared for this. She eventually started walking, making sure to keep a step back ready to steady him in case he lost his balance, and when they finally reached her car, he climbed up without saying a word.
They stood in silence and when the silence was too much to bare, she decided to turn on the radio.
One big mistake.
The song that was playing was just too spot on for that moment. Hurt by Emelie Sande, and as she drove and the lyrics filled her soul, filled the air in the car, Calleigh could barely see the road with the tears that filled her eyes but stubbornly refused to fall while Eric just hummed along the tune. She wanted to turn it off but something dared her not to, and to just face the lyrics instead of doing the usual and run. It was like Eric could have been singing the bloody song. She had only glanced momentarily in his eyes and it was enough to know that he was hurt...hurt by her. She knew it. She could feel it in her bones that this was all because of her and seeing her with Jake of all people surely didn't help the situation.
She stopped the car in front of his house, knowing the road to it too well, Eric didn't need to give her directions, she turned the radio and the engine off and just laid her back against the seat, waiting for Eric to say something...do anything at all. He hadn't done or said anything the whole time she was driving. He hadn't even moved, and Calleigh had no idea whether he wanted to talk in the car or inside.
'Eric' she whispered.
As if the sound of her voice irritated him, he sighed heavily, opened the passenger door and got out of the car, slamming the door behind him. Calleigh just jumped out, locking the car and followed him. Surprisingly enough, he walked straight, like all signs of being drunk were suddenly all gone...not like the anger and the hurt that he was still drowning in though.
'Eric please' she whispered closing the main door behind her 'Why are you doing this?' she asked him.
'Why?' he asked her 'Are you serious? Out with a friend eh? Back with Jake? Is that why you dumped me?' he asked her.
'What? No' she told him 'And this is not about Jake. You didn't even know I was going out with Jake when you decided to get drunk' she told him.
'No I didn't' he replied 'You know what…just leave me alone, I don't want to talk to you' he told her dismissing her with a wave of his hand.
'Tell me what this is really about Eric? What happened since I left you earlier? You were fine' she told him and that seemed to have done it.
'Fine? Did you just say fine? No Cal, I wasn't fine' he told her.
'Yes, yes you were' she told him. She was sure he was. He looked fine.
'No I wasn't fine. I pretended to be fine. I have been pretending I am fine since the moment you walked out that door' he told her pointing to the door behind her and Calleigh was taken aback by that statement. Has he really been in such a state all this time and she hasn't noticed?
'How is that possible? You agreed that this is for the best' she told him, feeling her heart pounding hard in her chest.
'No I didn't Cal. I never thought us ending it was for the best. It was what you thought, what you wanted because you couldn't face what was happening between us. You couldn't deal with it' he told her.
He was angry…very angry. It was so obvious in the sound of his voice, the way he was accusing her with every word. He never talked to her in that way. He never shouted. She never shouted at him. They always talked to each other with so much care and understanding. She couldn't understand what was happening all of a sudden. It was like…it was like the world was suddenly spinning in the wrong direction.
'You were scared' he told her as she watched him taken a step towards her.
'Scared of what?' she asked him.
'Of me, of how I was making you feel, of how good it felt, of how much you wanted it, of all of the emotions I was ringing inside of you. You were scared and you ran away. You couldn't face it' he told her and by the end of that sentence he was standing right in front of her. He was standing in her personal space, his eyes dark and brown looking into hers. She could feel his breath on her face, and Calleigh was starting to flutter her eyes at the feel of it.
'You're wrong' she told him. It was all she could say. He was making her breathless with everything that he was saying.
'Oh really? I am wrong am I? Look in my eyes and tell me I am not affecting you being this close to you' he told her but Calleigh couldn't look. She knew that if she looked like that in his eyes, she would fall, and she would fall hard.
'You can't can you?' he asked her.
'Why are you doing this?' she asked him weakly.
'Because I am tired Cal. I am tired of playing this game with you. I am tired of pretending that I am fine when I am not. I am tired of pretending that I understand when I don't, I am tired of pretending that I don't want you anymore when I want you so much' he told her desperately and as he said the words, he cupped her face with both hands and Calleigh gasped as he rested his forehead against hers. He could hear her heart slamming viciously in her chest, her breath coming out in pants as he stood so close to her.
'I can't take it anymore Cal. I can't take it when I look at you and you act like we have never been together, like we have never made love on that bed upstairs' he told her.
'I don't do that' she panted.
'You do. You do that all the bloody time and it breaks my heart' he told her 'I am tired of always taking care of your heart and never taking care of mine' he whispered and with that he dropped his hands from her face, the intimate contact being too much to bare 'For heaven's sakes Cal…you love me like family? Do you sleep with someone you love like family?' he asked her.
There it was the reason behind this behaviour tonight. It was what she had said that triggered all of this, all of this pain that he had been hiding very well for all these months.
'I'm sorry Eric…I never meant to hurt you. It was why I was always afraid of crossing the line between us, because I didn't want to ruin our friendship' she started telling him.
'And who told you, you weren't hurting me every time you dated someone else instead of me? Who do you think I was trying to replace every time I dated someone? You Cal. It was always you I wanted in my arms, in my heart, in my bed, and then when I finally tasted how good that life feels, you took it all away from me, because you are a coward' he told her. He knew he was probably out of line saying this to her, but at the moment he couldn't care less. He was hurt and he needed her to see how hurt he really was.
Calleigh was so stunned by what he had just told her that she couldn't seem to retaliate. She was trying to understand when all of this went to hell, when she could have changed this course of action.
The thing was…that he was right. She was a coward. He was right…she did run away because she was scared of how he was making her feel.
Suddenly her hand ached to touch him. She wanted to pull him in her arms and hug him. She wanted to wipe the tears that were about to fall down his face, but she couldn't do that.
She watched him as he ran down his hand across his head, down his face, rubbing his tired face, as tears started falling down his cheeks now.
'Just go Cal…just go please…' he begged her 'I can't take this anymore…' he whispered but instead of going, she stepped closer.
'I'm not going anywhere' she told him 'I'm staying right here. I want to take care of you. I want to take care of your heart' she told him.
Seeing him in so much pain because of her, seeing him so emotionally exposed…it gave her strength…courage…He was laying everything out and he wasn't scared. She had been scared of hurting him, of destroying their friendship by taking that step but instead she was doing that by holding back. Things had been good between them, and she knew it. She missed him, she ached for him and she was tired of hiding it, and now that she knew how badly she was hurting Eric, Calleigh simply couldn't take it anymore. She needed to do something. She needed to help mend his broken heart.
'There is only one way you can do that' he told her 'And you don't want that' he told her as he turned away from her. He just couldn't bare to look at her any longer.
'You're wrong' she told him.
'Cal please…' he begged her 'Don't torture me like this' he whispered.
'I want you to take whatever you want, whatever you need from me' she told him, and Eric turned around to look at her.
'I can't. I can't do that' he told her 'I can't have you for one night and that is it. It won't do. I need you for more than just one night Calleigh' he told her.
'And I want you for more than just a one night' she told him.
'Calleigh go' he told her 'You are only saying that because you are feeling guilty. Go home and think about it, think about what you really want, think about what your heart wants and then come to me if you want me' Eric told her.
He had told her that he was done with taking care of her heart, and yet here he was even in the current state of pain and heartache that he was in, even in the drunken state he still was in, all he could do was take care of her heart. He knew that she wouldn't be able to do it afterwards, if she slept with him. He knew she wasn't the one night stands kind of girl.
'I am home' she told him as she stepped closer to him.
'Calleigh' he whispered closing his eyes. She was standing too close to him. He could smell her scent, he could practically hear her heart beating hard in her chest.
He felt her hands rest on his chest and Calleigh could feel him tremble She leaned forwards pressing her lips against the crook of his neck, her tongue tracing his pulse point and Eric dropped his head back, giving her better access. His mind was telling him to stop her but his body…his body had a mind of its own it seems. It was going along with her, it was letting her affect him. He could already feel his arousal building as her hands moved and her mouth cherished the between his head and his shoulders.
She pressed her chest against his and Eric growled at the feel of her breasts against his warm body, the bloody shirt he was wearing suddenly feeling too much to be on his body.
His hands moved taking her face in his hands, as he let his eyes linger on her gorgeous face. Her lips were already a little bit swollen from kissing his neck, and Eric wanted nothing more than to feel her lips against his now.
Making sure one last time, that she truly wanted this, he leaned down and pressed his lips hard against hers, as he felt her fist his shirt in her small hands. Those same hands which shot guns and viciously protect the people she cares about…and even though those same hands had once shot in his direction when he was fleeing a scene and almost killed him, those same hands can bring him to life more than any other pair he had ever had the pleasure to meet.
His longer fingers slipping into her blonde soft locks, his tongue devouring her mouth as he kissed her hard and passionate, finally having the feeling of her exploding in his mouth, he pushed them against the wall. He needed to hold her closer, to press her against something. He wanted to have her locked between the wall and his body, he wanted to be able to press against her as he cherished her mouth.
She let him guide her to wherever he wanted to take her, not once letting go of his mouth, as Calleigh let herself getting washed away by the sensation of Eric in her mouth, close enough that she could feel him, when she felt her back hit the wall and Calleigh moaned as she felt Eric press himself against her, his tongue still battling hers hungrily.
Needing some air, feeling the little oxygen left about to finish as she started seeing black spots at the back of her head, Calleigh broke the kiss turning her head sideways, and Eric took that opportunity to kiss her neck. He knew how much she loved that, how much that spot turned her on. One hand still cupping the side of her face, his other hand moved to her breast, cupping one globe from over her top, as Calleigh moaned enjoying both the feeling of his mouth on her neck and his hand on her breasts.
He felt her hands move between them, when she suddenly pulled his shirt apart sending all the buttons flying everywhere, and then her hands were on his chest. He could feel the softness of her palm against his hard abs.
'Eric' she moaned in delight.
She hadn't felt his abs like that in months. She wasn't someone who got easily turned on by looks, or that it was one particular trait that men had to have in order to score points with her, but she just loved how Eric's abs feel against her hands. She wanted to kiss them. She wanted to cherish them.
She pushed at him and turned them around, the sudden smile on her face at being the one in control now thrilled her. She had Eric locked between her and the wall. She looked quickly in his eyes and then locked her mouth against his chest, right over where his heart was. She wanted to sooth its pain, she wanted to make it all better. He watched her, his lips kissing the area, her hands traveling up and down his chest, her thumbs caressing the feel of his abs.
He pushed out of his open shirt and let it drop on the floor, now wanting her just as topless as he was. He grabbed the hem of her top and pushed it up, stopping her briefly from cherishing his body just to remove her top as she helped him a bit, throwing it somewhere away.
His hand immediately moved to undo the clasp of her bra and Calleigh let it fall down as his hands moved to his belt. She just needed him naked. She needed to feel more of him, and Calleigh realized that she just needed him now. There was no time for foreplay today. She just wanted him inside of her and it didn't matter if it was here against the wall, on the floor or on the bed upstairs. She just needed him.
He grabbed her face wanting to kiss her again, wanting to feel her tongue dance with his again, still not having enough of her, not sure if he ever would anyway, and when their mouths were once again locked together, his hands moved to her jeans undoing it for her. It seemed like they were both in desperate need to have nothing else standing between them. Not clothes, not issues, not her running away. Nothing. She was done with running. He felt too good to keep running away from him. Running away from him meant she was running away from her own happiness.
As both the zipper and button were undone, Eric let go of her mouth and started kissing his way down, down her neck, the side of her breast, down her stomach, as he hovered over her stomach. He felt her hands cup his head, dropping her head back as he lingered right above the hem of her jeans. She felt his fingers hook in and then the offending material moving its way down her legs, as with his lips he trailed kisses down the inner of her thighs, inhaling her scent.
She was wet and he knew it and Eric growled at the thought of tasting her soon. They just stood in their underwear when Eric got up and picked her up in his arms, Calleigh immediately wrapping one arm around his neck while the other one cup his face, her lips immediately finding his again.
She could still taste the beer in his mouth from before, and somehow the beer mingled with his own unique taste thrilled her own. The sense of being drunk all but gone, she didn't even worry once that he was going to drop her, as Eric started making his way up the stairs with Calleigh in his arms.
It didn't take him long to find the bedroom and as soon as they walked into the room, Eric found the bed and laid her down gently as he climbed on top of her, covering her delicious body with his. She felt him press his arousal against her core and Calleigh whimpered. She needed him closer, deeper inside of her. She needed to feel him slipping in and out, she needed to feel him cumming inside of her, she needed to feel his cum drip against her thighs. She just needed him.
'Eric' she moaned.
He moved lower, his fingers finding the black brazilian knickers covering her sacred cave and started pushing it down. He moved off her just briefly to push his own boxers away, as his erection sprung free.
He let his eyes feast on her for just a moment while Calleigh took the opportunity to stare at the man who was about to ring all sorts of deliciousness out of her. God she wanted him!
She watched him climb on top of her again, his hands resting against her body until his face was standing above hers, their eyes locked on each other. He supported himself on one arm, as he reached out to caress her face.
'God I love you' he whispered and Calleigh's eyes widened at that declaration. Why was he telling her that after everything else that he told her? After how things had been lately?
She could feel her heart swell in her chest though and just as something was about to come out from her mouth, not sure exactly what, Eric locked his lips hard against hers shutting her up as he inhaled her deeply. He positioned himself at her centre, his hand stroking her side and then he pushed himself into the deep.
She broke the kiss at the feel of Eric entering her like that as she silently moaned, arching her back, feeding herself better to Eric as he slid deeper inside of her. She could feel the sweat beginning to slide down their bodies as Eric moved in and out of her, his eyes fluttering open, wanting to see her gorgeous face as he pounded into her, feeling her walls clench around him.
'God Calleigh' he whispered.
'Eric…faster' she begged him.
'Oh Lord' he cried.
He found her mouth again, the need to kiss her being too great to control as he picked up his pace, enjoying the friction, the feel of her slippery walls taking him in each and every time, and when her nails dug in his skin on his shoulder, Eric knew she was close. She was trying to grab onto something, his skin being slippery due to the sweat that was covering his body as he somehow picked up an even faster pace, feeling himself on the verge to fall as well.
She scratched his back hard, not sure if she marked him for life or not, and then she cried out as she felt him empty himself inside of her, ringing her own orgasm out of her as she came hard around him, making him cry out her name, the declaration of love slipping so easily unashamed out of his mouth.
He laid on his back, her head resting on his chest them in silence, as they could both now think about what happened as their high subsided, and enjoyed the feel of their afterglow.
She was quiet but so was Eric. She had told him that this was her home, that this is where she belonged, but Eric wasn't entirely sure if she meant it or not. His declaration of his love for her had slipped out so easily, even if he wasn't sure if should have said it or not, but now he felt liberated of finally saying it out loud, and if he knew her at all, that was what she was thinking about.
He wanted to talk to her but at the same time he was scared. He was scared that she was going to run away from him again, and Eric just didn't want to let her go again. Making love to her after all these months, even if it was a quick one, no foreplay at all and straight to the point, it had been heaven. He already wanted her again, but he knew that they needed to talk and clear things out first.
Calleigh was staring ahead, her eyes full of tears as she let herself enjoy the sound of his heartbeat, the feel of his chest fall up and down with every breath that he took, the feel of his warmth against her, the feel of his cum between her legs. She had missed this. She had missed him. Being like this with him…she had missed it so much.
The sound of his voice telling her that he loves her was echoing in her head. She knew she did too but she wasn't sure if she could say it, if she should. He would think that it is because he had said and it wasn't that. She did love him. Does love him, and that is what scared her, that is what made her run away. She had never felt this way before about any other man she had ever been with.
She felt his fingers slide down her back and Calleigh shivered.
'Are you cold?' he asked her softly.
'No. It's just the feeling of your hand slipping down my back…it's wonderful' she whispered before she pushed herself up on her elbow to look at him.
She was looking in his eyes…searching into his deep brown eyes as they got darker every time they made love, but then there was this golden swirl that took her breath away every single time. His eyes looked so beautiful!
'You were right before' she whispered 'I got scared…and I'm sorry' she apologized looking away from his eyes.
'Why were you scared?' he asked her softly, all signs of anger long gone.
'Because…I…I love you' she whispered and this time, she made sure her eyes were on him as she said it 'I love you…like the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, like the man I want to wake up next to every day…and not like family. I'm sorry I said that' she told him 'And I am not just saying this Eric. I am not just saying this because you just told me that you love me' she assured him.
'Why did you say you love me like family then?' he asked her.
'Because I missed you and I wanted to tell you that I love you but I couldn't. You know I can't say the words so easily, especially after I had ended things. I'm too stubborn to ask you to take me back. I needed to tell you that I love you…and I love you like family…I thought you would have understood me, just like when you had come back and you told me that you missed Miami and I told you that Miami missed you. I knew you were telling me that you missed me, and I knew you understood me that I missed you too. Maybe you were just too hurt to understand that, and I am sorry Eric. I truly am' she told him as a single tear slipped down her cheek.
He reached out and wiped it away from her 'I just want you back' he told her 'My heart can't take watching you leave every time…but I don't want you back because of everything that is being said. I want you back because you really want to come back to me Calleigh' he told her, and the sound of her name slipping out of his mouth at this moment felt so good.
'I do want to come back. I do want this Eric. I love you' she told him, and Eric smiled for the first time tonight, as he stroked her cheek.
'And I love you Calleigh' he whispered as tears of his own escaped his eyes.
'Thank you' she whispered before she settled back down to sleep at the sound of his heartbeat in the arms of the man that she loved.