The Commander's Last Farewell
They were all surprised when they found the commander. But the surgery was taking longer than anyone thought that it should. Hannah stood and started pacing the waiting room. If she didn't get word soon she thought, then she would go in there and find out what the hold up was. She turned at the sound of the door opening on the other side of the small waiting room she was in. She had been surprised when she had walked in and saw that there was not much dust on the place, and that most of this side of the hospital had been fixed up. The room she was in was just big enough for one old couch and two chairs for the people waiting. Sighing she reach up and push her red hair out of her face, as she watched Admiral Hackett walk up to her. It was still hard to believe that the war was over and they had won.
"Any word yet?" He asked her. She stopped and turned to face him, her shoulders dropped. Shaking her head she could not bring herself to speak. She was afraid that she might let the tears fall that she had worked so hard on to keep hidden. Deep in her heart she knew that this was the last time, that there was no coming back from it this time. There would be no happy ending for her baby girl. She only hoped that she would get the chance to tell her how much she loved her one more time.
She watched as Admiral Hackett dropped into a chair and ran his hand over his face. He looked like he had aged ten years since this morning. This war had taken a toll on everyone. And losing Admiral Anderson was such a blow to the Alliance, one that no one saw coming. It had hit everyone hard. Growing restless, she began to pace the room once more. On the far wall was a small window that looked out over a destroyed street below. She looked over when she heard the door open once again. A solider walked over to Admiral Hackett. She turned once more to look out the window.
"Sir, we have an ideal on where the Normandy is at. The distress beacon was sent out about an hour ago. The thing is with the relays down then it will take about seven months for them to make it back to the Sol System." He told the Admiral. Reaching up once again he ran his hand over his face. This was going to be hell, and he knew it. "Thank you, dismissed." He said as he saluted the solider before him. He watched for another moment where the door swung shut. Sometime soon he would have to talk to the council, but for now they could wait. He sank back down into a chair. This had been one hell of a day. The ended, his comrade and friend had died, and now to make things worse things where not looking good for the commander.
The door swung open once again and Dr. Michel walked into the room. Hannah met her half way across the room. The look on her face was enough to make her stop dead. Her hand shot up to her mouth, her head shaking, not willing to believe what she knew was about to be said. She felt a hand on her arm that guided her to a chair close by. She could feel herself falling into the chair.
"Admiral you need to listen to me. This is the part of my job that I hate. She is alive for now. The amount of damage that her body took, is to much for anyone. What I am trying to tell you is that her cybernetics has started working against her body. It is killing her slowly. Along with all of the new damage, there is no coming back this time. Her biotic amp is so badly damaged that it is about to cause brain damage. There is fluid that is filling her lungs and there is fluid around her heart. She has several burns all over her body. Her lungs are even burned. She can walk for now, how long that will last no one knows. There is something that we can do for her to extend her life, but only for a short while. We will be doing everything we can to make her as comfortable as possible. She is awake and knows all of this. She wants me to keep her going long enough for her to say goodbye to her crew on the Normandy. I told her for me to do that, it will be very painful and I can only hope to giver her a total of four months all together." Dr. Michel finished. She reach up a wiped the tears from her eyes.
"Four months is all that she can hope for? Without the relays the Normandy is seven months out. I don't even know if the ship can even fly right now. If the relays where open I could get her there quicker. Though I think... hmm... maybe.. I will be back latter. Don't say anything about the Normandy." Admiral Hackett said as he turn and hurried out of the room. Both Hannah and Dr. Michel staring at the spot he had just left with their mouths hanging open.
Slowly Hannah made her way down the hall to her little girls room. In her mind she could still see this little girl racing over to protect a little boy who was being picked on, or when she was a teen going out on her first date. The time she signed up to join the Alliance, then saving Elysium. She remembered the day they made her a Specter and saved the Citadel. It was after that she lost her. She went down with her ship only to come back to her two years latter. Now once again she must let her baby go. She didn't know if she could. Stopping outside her room she leaned against the wall. She bit down on her hand as a sob rocked her whole body. She couldn't go in like this she need to be strong.
She stood just outside the door, pulling herself back together. Reaching up she quickly wiped the tears from her face. Straightening up she made her way into the room. Her eyes where closed and she looked so pale against the white sheets her red hair spreed out over the pillow didn't help.. She could tell that she lost a lot weight during the war. It was these moments she wished that she could hold her in her arms again, just like when she was six and had gotten sick.
"I'm not dead yet. You know." She told her mother. She had heard her crying out in the hallway before she came in. It didn't make this any easier, but it was the right thing to do. She could spend a little time with her mother, before it was too late. She turned her head so that she could get a better look at her. She reached out her hand toward her mother. "Mom" She managed to choke out. Her mother crossed the room and sat down next to her. She took her hand in hers. She couldn't stop the tears from falling down her face. She didn't know if she wanted to. She had been strong for so long.
"Mom, I know that you don't understand, and I am so sorry. But the thing is, I have fought for so long. I'm so tired and I can finally rest now. There will be no more pain..." She had to turn some so that she could cough. She could taste the blood. Laying her head back against the pillow and closed her eyes for just a moment so she could try and breath again.
She felt her mother reach over and wipe the tears from her face. She turned her head just a little so she could see her better. "I'm sorry, mom. I would have liked more time. But you know that I am at peace with this." She whispered. Her mother leaned her forehead against hers. "I'm staying with you till the very end, because I don't want to miss a thing from here on out." Hannah told her. She nodded her head and closed her eyes again as the tears came again.
Admiral Hackett showed up the next morning. She watched as he walked into the room. She watched as he took the sight of her in. His smile was sad when his eyes settled onto hers. "I just wanted to come and say thank you for all that you have done. We could not have won this war without you. After Dr. Michel talked to us, I went to the council to let them know what was going on. We talked and decided that as a way of thank you for all that you have done, they are having every race in the galaxy get together and fix the relays so that we can get you to the Normandy. It was the only way we could think of to get you there in time..." He just let his sentence fall short. She gave him a sad smile and nodded her head. "Thanks"
Kaidan stood in the med bay, Dr. Chakwas had just checked out his amp for him again. "Kaidan I think that once we get back there might be a way to fix it. You know give you a little longer. I still can't believe that you didn't tell anyone about this until a few days ago when you passed out. Shepard is going to kill you when she finds out." She told him. He glanced over at her, with a sheepish smile. "If she is still alive you mean. And thanks again for not telling the others what really happened. Let them think it was a headache for now. Well are you sure that you and Cortez will be fine here without others to help out? I could leave James or someone while we look for some more food." He told her. She looked up form her tablet and shook her head. "We will be fine. Just be careful I want to take you home in one piece." She told him.
He had sent some of the others on ahead to look for food. The way it looked most of them would be out until a few hours before dark set in. He hated lying to everyone but it really was the only way. He knew that ever since Mars his amp had not been working right and the end result would be his death. He just didn't want anyone to worry was all. Well that was what he had been telling his self. He could see James just up ahead. "Hey Vega I was wondering if you mind staying close to the ship in case they need some help with anything. And if you wouldn't mind checking on Joker. None of the rest of us can get through to him since Edi died." He asked him. "Sure man. You know I don't care to help out any way that I can." Vega told him.
When they found the spot where the single was coming form, they had to set their ship back a ways from the Normandy. It was going to be a short walk to get there. But even the smallest of walks was more than she could take on a normal day. They had offered to go and get the Normandy's crew but she would have none of that. She adjusted the strap on the oxygen tank that she now had to use at all times, before they set out to say her last goodbye. Her mother was on one side of her and Major Coats was on the other side. The walk was slow going, due to her having to take brakes. Her whole body shook by the time the could see the Normandy. Her mother had already told her the first place she was to go to was the med bay. She stopped once again to catch her breath, it was a small lake were a gentle breeze kissed her face.
She closed her eyes and leaned back against a tree. Major Coats had told them that he was going to scout on up ahead. Slowly she opened her eyes again, and nodded her head. "It's beautiful here. This..." She coughed so hard that it racked her whole body. "...this is a good place to call my last. I think I will stay here, till the end. Mom, I know I have no right to ask you this, but will you stay with me?" She said around a knot in her throat. Her mother pulled her into her arm as the tears fell from both of them. "You have every right to ask me that, and yes baby I will stay with you." She said as she leaned to look her in the eyes. Reaching her thumb up she wiped a tear from her face. "Till the end baby, till the end."
They could hear hurried footsteps coming their way. From the sound of it there was more than one person coming. Both wiped their eyes before someone could see them. Hannah pulled her gun and had it pointed at the place where whoever was coming would come out at. "It's me." Major Coats called out. "I brought someone to see you." He walked on out into the clearing. Just behind him James was following. She saw the same look in his eyes that everyone gave her now days. She knew she looked bad. She had lost so much weigh, that she now looked like a scarecrow. On a good day it was all she could do to stay standing. Hannah looked up and gave them a warm smile. Then she moved to one side of her as Major Coats moved to the other so they could help her up. "You ready?" Her mom asked and she just nodded.
Once she was standing again it only took a moment for James to come around. "I could not believe it when the Major told me that you where really here Lola." James told her. She looked up at him and smiled. "Guess he forgot to tell you that I look like shit." She laughed, which turned into another cough. She could feel her world start to spin, and go dark around the edges. She felt strong hands grip her and pick her up as the darkness over took her.
She could hear beeping near by. The familiar tell-tale sing of the med bay. She could tell that the there was an IV in her hand. "No" She growled as she ripped the IV out. "Easy Shepard. I am not doing any more than what has already been done." Dr. Chakwas told her with a voice that cracked. She looked up at her friend and saw the tears that flowed so easily. She reach over and took her hand. "My fight is done. I have done my job. I am so tired and it's hard to keep going. I am ready for this rest. I just wanted to say my goodbyes. I want to see the crew before it's to late. My time now is very shot." She told her. Dr. Chakwas cupped her hand in both of hers. "I sent James to get them. You just rest for now and I will be here with you the whole time." She told her.
She looked up as the door opened as Joker and Cortez walked in. "It was true, you are here." Joker said. She let her eyes fall to the floor. There was one thing she had to tell Joker and was not sure how he would take it. "You look like shit. Good thing that you got to Doc here." Joker told her. She tried to take a deep breath, but you could hear the fluid. It sent her into another coughing fight. Her mother offered her water as she watched as Traynor, Adams, Donnelly, and Dainels came in. She laid her head back and pulled her strength in.
"I'm sorry, there is no fixing it this time. And I don't want them too. My time is done. You all have made me so proud. It has been an honor to be with you through all of this. You are all a part of my family and I hope that you will stay that way. Joker can I talk to you alone for a moment." She asked. One by one her friends came to tell her goodbye. She saw that all of them where crying as they walked away. At last it was just Joker and herself.
"Jeff I am sorry. Edi is gone and it is my fault. The only way to end the war was to take out all synthesis. I am sorry." She told him as tears rolled down her face. "No damn it. This... this just not right. You killed my girlfriend then you tell me you're dying. You can't do this to me." He said as he turned his back to her. "I am sorry. I never wanted this. I... maybe Tail can help fix her." She said as she tried to sit up. It was getting harder to breath. Joker turned to face her once more. Tears ran down his face. "No I can't loose you too. Not like this." He told her. She reach out her hand toward him as another wave of pain shot through her whole body and sent her into yet another coughing fit.
Joker ran to her side. She could see that he had gone white. She could feel the blood that ran from her nose and taste it as she tried to cough it up. Her time was coming quickly to an end. Dr. Chakwas and Hannah came running in. She felt the quick prick of the needle that would easy the pain.
"Kaidan, man if you can hear me you need to get back to the ship ASAP." James voice sounded over the comm. Garrus, Tail, Liara, and Javik had come to find him so they could all go back together. This way if there was trouble then they could take care of it together. When they got to the ship they could not see any trouble. They could see James outside beating the crap out of a tree. Other than that, there was nothing else out of place.
"James, what is wrong? What happened?" Kaidan asked him. It was oblivious something had him upset. He pulled his arm back and hit the tree with all of his might. "Go inside, go to med bay. Then you will understand. I can't tell... I just can't talk about it yet." He said as he turned back to the tree. Glancing back over his shoulder as he made his way into the ship. He didn't think he had ever seen him that upset. "Does anyone else think that was a little odd?" Garrus asked them. They all just nodded there heads.
As they made their way on into the ship they could see other signs of people being upset. Traynor was standing close to Cortez. She was crying. That was just not something she would do. "Does anyone else feel like we are at a funeral?" Liara asked as they walked on by them. "Yes!" All of them said at once.
Joker was sitting in the mess hall with someone that looked kind of familiar to him. Kaidan could see that Joker ever so often would reach up and wipe a tear away. He stopped as did the others. It threw all of them off to see Joker crying. He had only seen that happen one other time. Oh god... no, no, no, not again. Was all he could think. "How long?" They heard Joker ask. "Not long now. The galaxy moved for her this time. And it will weep for her as well." He said. Joker took his hat off and ran his hand threw his hair.
He turned and looked at the doors to med bay. He could feel his body shake. He knew what he would find, and he didn't want to walk through those doors. Closing his eyes he drew a deep breath and walked in. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. She was so thin, and broken looking. She laid there in what he hoped was sleep. Her skin was so pale next to the white sheets. The pillow looked as if there was a fire across it. He choked back the sob that was close to coming out. He felt a tear slide down his cheek. Dr. Chakwas and Hannah looked up when they heard the door open. From across the room he could see them crying. Hannah held her frail hand. In two big steps he crossed the room and stood by the bed.
Hannah stood up and motioned for him to take her place. Up close he could see the very shallow breaths she was fighting for. He could tell that her time was almost up. Gently he pushed her hair out of her eyes. He picked up the hand her mother had been holding. "How... how long?" Was all he could chock out. "If we are lucky then a day or two. But no more than that. The trip has taken to much out of her." Dr. Chakwas said.
From the foot of the bed her heard the sound of someone crying. He looked up to see that both Tail and Liara where crying. Tail buried her face in Garrus's chest. Garrus stood there holding the end of the bed with one hand the other around Tail. When he looked back up he could tell Garrus was crying as well. "We had to give her a shot to help her. She might sleep for awhile, but I really don't know." Dr. Chakwas told them.
Softly she could hear the sound of someone crying close by. She fought her way back threw the fog that now covered her. It would be so easy to let it take her. But she had to hold on a little longer. She needed to see him one last time, then she could rest. Slowly she opened her eyes once more. She had to smile even if she knew it was a sad one.
"I waited for you." She whispered. She watched as his eyes found hers. She could see the pain that was hidden there. It was killing her to see him like this. Looking around, her eyes found the last of her crew, her family. It was time. She let a rattling breath out. She looked at Javik. "The last voice, still has so much more to say. You will do wonderful things in this cycle as well. Take care of Liara for me." She told him. He gave a small smile. "Thank you commander. And I will." Her eyes shut for a moment. Looking over to Liara. "You have come so far since I meet you in that dig site. Now you are the most powerful person out there. Change the world for me." Liara broke down. Her shoulder shook with each sob. Looking over to Garrus. "My friend. You have seen me through hell and back. But it time for you to shine. Go give them hell. And when the time comes, I will meet you at the bar. I will always have your back. Take care of Tail for me. You two make such a sweet pair. Good luck out there, alright." She could see all of her friends crying now. She tightened her hand around Kaidan's, it gave her the strength that she needed. "Tail, the kid who always backed me up. You proved yourself and look at you now, an Admiral. Build a house for me."
She had to stop for a moment to try and get her breath back. She looked over at Kaidan, no longer could she hold her tears back. Reaching up she placed her hand along side his face. This was the part that would kill her. "I have held on this long just for you." She glanced up as the others left her to talk to him. She reach for the cup of water, when he reach out and handed it to her. "We brought parts to fix the Normandy. I think the repair team that came with us have it done. You all can leave at any time. The Normandy is yours now, you have earned it. I asked mom to stay a bit longer. This place is the end of the line for me. When the stairs come out I am going to have her take me to this small lake I saw. That will be the end of the road. You don't have to stay. You know I thought I would have more time with you. But I promise you this, I will never be far away from you. I will always be watching over you. Find love again, live a long happy life for me. And when it's your turn I'll be there." She managed to get out before she started coughing again.
There was a soft knock at the the door as James looked in. She smiled at him as Kaidan help her get another drink of water. "I am glad that you finally came to see me. There is something that I wanted to give you." She held out her hand as he walked over to her. She dropped an N7 badge in the palm of his hand. "Don't know if Hackett will honor it or not. But in my book you earned it. Wear it well my friend." She told him. She watched as his should dropped. And a tear slid down his face. "Thanks Lola." He said as he turned on his heels and left.
She looked back over to Kaidan to see the slight tears slid down his face. "I love you, always." She told him. He smiled at her. "You are leaving on the Normandy with us. She's yours and she will take you home still. Please let me be the one who takes you to the lake tonight to say one last goodbye." She just nodded her head as the tears slide down her face.
He stayed with her the rest of the day as the everyone came to say there last goodbyes. He watched as her mother held her and cried for over an hour. She had finally agreed to let him be the one who took her to the lake. He knew that she would still follow and be close for the end. He watched as dusk drew nearer. Walking over to her he picked her up. He had carried guns heaver than her. As he started down the ramp, they noticed on both sides everyone who had come to say one last goodbye.
Her head laid in the crook of his shoulder. Her breathing was becoming harder for her. And he knew she could feel his tears as they feel. The lake was not very big, but the stars reflected off of it. "I wish.. I had... more time.. with you." He heard her say. He had to listen hard when she talked. "I am so tired, I'm sorry to leave you my love. But I am going to get to see the ones who have gone on. Ash... Mordin... Thane... and Anderson." She got out. He sat down in front of an old tree. She set in front of him. He wrapped his arm around her, just holding her close. He could tell she was slipping away. "I love you. It's been a hell of a ride..." He voice died away in the wind. He buried his face in her hair. Sob racked his body, as he held her. He felt it when she let out her last bit of life's breath. "The best..." He whispered into her hair.
He had sat there with her in his arms all night long. He got stiffly up and picked her up as the sun came over the tree line. It was time to take her home. He bent down to pick up her body, he kissed her cold lips one last time. He made no move to hide the tears that still feel from his face. He walked back slowly, a casket had been set out for when he came back. Hannah met him half way and made him stop. She leaned over and kissed her daughter's forehead one last time.
***Breaking News! It is with deep sadness we that we learn Commander Shepard has died...***
***...It was with a heavy heart that we watched the crew of the Normandy carry Commander Shepard to her final resting place. Friends, family, and crew gathered to say one last goodbye. There was standing room only...***
Kaidan made his way down past the apple trees. His mother was happy to see him again. He stayed there with her, to help her out. Had it really only been three months since she had left him. Dr. Chakwas was sure that she could find away to keep him alive longer. He had made up his mind that this was to be his own end, that way he could see her again. When they got back everyone went their own ways. Joker no longer wanted to pilot the Normand. He said it was to much with losing both Edi and Shepard. He could understand that. It was part of why he left. Hackett had made good on what Shepard had done with making James an N7. He became the new commander of the Normandy, and Cortez was now the ship's pilot. Tail and Garrus had gone back to Rannoch. They had a happy life there. Javik and Liara where traveling the galaxy. He didn't know where they were. But when you're the Shadow Broker, it is better that no one knows. And he had come home to rest, no one really knew why.
He stopped at the last apple tree. From here he could see a lake. It took him back to the last night he held her. He missed her so much. He reach up and wiped the blood from his nose. He dropped his hand back into his lap. "I miss you so much. How I wish you where here with me." He closed his eyes as felt the breeze kiss his face. "I'm here." He heard a whisper on the wind. His eyes snapped open. Looking around he saw nothing. Thinking his mind was playing trick on him, he leaned his head back once more and closed his eyes. Trying to remember her.
"Hello Kaidan." A voice spoke beside him. Turning his head and slowly opening his eyes. His eyes started at her feet then travailing upward. She had a simple white dress on, her read hair floating on the breeze. Her smile reach to her green bright eyes. Those eyes he had missed so much. "Shepard?" He asked. She smiled and walked over to him holding out her hand for him. "I once told you that I would never leave you. I have stayed close as I could." She told him as she pulled him to his feet. Leaning up on her toes she kissed him.
She looked heather than she had since all of this started years ago. "You know I think I told you to live a long happy life." She told him. He looked back and saw himself, it looked like he had fallen asleep against the tree. The only way you could tell that something was wrong with him was by the blood that came out of his nose.
"Does this mean I can stay with you now." He asked. She looked back over at him and smiled. She walked over and leaned against a tree. "Well you see, that is your choice. You can come with me to where the others are or you could live." She told him. He watched her every move. How she looked like she was happy again. He walked over to her and pulled her close. "And say goodbye to you again. I don't think so. I am home and happy with you." He told her. "Then let us leave this place behind. Your dad wants to see you, a long with a lot of others." She told him as she took his hand.