folly
It's a heavy sigh that filters out of her lungs and into the chilly autumn air around her. Leaves are drifting down in hues of gold and umber and fiery red, crisp and loud as they crunch under her feet. While typically the noise would bring a satisfactory leap to her heart, those sparks of excitement that coincide with life's little wonders seem like they've been slipping farther and farther away as the season progresses.
When she tilts her head back to survey the sky, she finds nothing but swirls of grey above her. It's all so very sad sometimes, but for the life of her she doesn't quite know why.
Her shawl is drawn tighter around her shoulders and she tosses her hair so that it falls like an ebony blanket over her neck and back, shielding her from winter's inching fingertips. It's rare that she ever lets her hair out of its high bun. It's improper and she's a woman, now - a married woman. The thought has her sucking in a quick breath, because sometimes, she forgets because it's so new. And when she remembers, she's never sure what feeling is going to follow. Usually, it's wonder. Then there are days like today, and all the awe has waned and she's left feeling like--
She glances down to the simple silver band around her finger, knowing what it's supposed to mean, but thinking about what it seems to mean these days.
Marriage wasn't like this when she thought about it as a little girl. When she first met that strong, charming boy with unruly hair. When she imagined married life with her secret, personal hero. Clutching his arm and laughing, swearing against his lips that this was what happiness would taste like. Almost too quickly, it became painfully apparent that it was nothing quite so picturesque.
Her thumb rolls the ring around her finger, catching it at the knuckle. She exhales a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.
Sometimes she feels like there's something missing. A piece that's fallen out somewhere, or one she happened to overlook. She can't remember what it was, nor if it was even there to begin with, but there's a ticking inside her that fuels this craving and makes her insides turn into guilty, disheartened knots. And the longer that ticking goes unsatisfied and unacknowledged, the harder her heart pounds with such unbearable discontent.
With a glance back toward the large man hauling firewood behind her, she only half hears him babbling about monsters, nonsense, and lore. It's this same way, the two of them and the woods, when she often finds herself thinking that no; Son Goku certainly isn't the husband she had always dreamed he would be.
She thinks it so regrettable too that, despite this unhappiness that thrums within, she doesn't really know if there's anything she wants to or could do about such a sad realization, other than to persevere and keep her eyes on the horizon.
Author's Note: For the deviantart group DBZ-Fanfics February contest. The topic was "disappointment."
This drabble is Chi Chi, not too long after she and Goku are married and the honeymoon is over. You've got to think that she came down from that dreamy cloud (Kinto'un! Haha!) of hers reaaaal quickly after the nuptiuals. :P
Then she had Gohan, someone she could give all her love to and be loved and depended on just the same. Awww. 3