She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a decent nights sleep. Had it been days? Weeks? Months? It felt like years but she knew it couldn't be that. And now that the battle was over and adrenaline high she'd experienced during it was wearing off, she could barely keep her eyes open. But she did. She did as she sat quietly next to Ron, their hands intertwined, one of them occasionally running their thumb over the other's hand. The fire in the Gryffindor common room had managed to keep blazing during the events of the night and as she watched the flames dance all she could do was try to think of what to say. What was there to say after what they'd just been through? What was there to say about Ron losing one of his brothers? Rarely was Hermione ever at a loss for words, but right now she couldn't think of a single thing. That combined with the strange combination of exhaustion and apprehension about sleeping was enough to make her feel as though she would go mad.
It was Ron who finally spoke after they'd been sitting there for who knows how long.
"We should get some rest." he said. His voice was hoarse and her heart broke a little as she looked at him. Really looked at him for the first time since they'd come up there. There were cuts and bruises everywhere on his body. His usually deep blue eyes were cloudy and dark. Almost as dark as the circles under his eyes. She looked down, knowing she probably looked the same.
"Y-yes we should." she agreed. Even her own voice sounded strange.
"I should go up and see Ginny." came a quiet voice from the chair across from the sofa they were sitting on. Hermione jumped slightly and looked over at Harry. She'd forgotten he was even there.
Ron shot him a look but Harry ignored it and walked over, bending down and kissing Hermione on top of her head and clapping Ron on the shoulder softly. Hermione watched him walk up the stairs to the girl's dormitory, half expecting them to turn into a slide. But they didn't. They must have known his presence would be necessary.
"He better not be...grief-shagging my sister or something." Ron mumbled. Hermione laughed, a real genuine laugh and he smiled slightly at the sound of it. Probably because he couldn't remember the last time he'd heard a sound he enjoyed so much.
"I'm sure there won't be any grief-shagging going on, Ronald." she said. He nodded and then stood up, still keeping a hold on her hand, and started walking towards the boys' dormitory but turned around confused when she didn't follow him. Suddenly she felt nervous. Was she really about to be in the boys' dormitory alone with Ron? Would they sleep in the same bed? What was going to happen? Would it be weird? A thousand questions flooded her mind.
"Do you um...I mean do you want to come up with me?" he asked shyly. She simply nodded and let herself be led upstairs by him. Neither of them knew how many times the other had dreamed about this happening before.
Once they'd reached the room that Neville, Seamus, Dean, Ron, and Harry had all once shared they stood at the entrance for a moment, neither of them really knowing what to do. Ron's eyes were glued to his unmade and vacant bed and for a second Hermione saw a flash of something more than sadness in his eyes. But as quickly as it had come it was gone and he looked down at the door leading to the bathroom.
"We're a bit dirty." Hermione said, following his eyes. He looked at her quickly.
"What?" he asked. She blushed slightly and looked down.
"I mean...I don't remember the last time I had a proper bath. Do you think we should er...take turns getting clean? Just so the beds don't get dirty." Ron tried not to flinch at the use of the word beds rather than bed but he nodded.
"Yeah I mean...I suppose it might be nice to not be covered in dirt and blood for a change." he half joked. Hermione didn't laugh but instead nodded and disconnected her hand from his. Both missed the touch already.
"Would you like to go first?" she asked. He shook his head and dropped down onto Neville's bed.
"Nah s'alright. You can go first." She nodded and then walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. The bathroom looked clean and white compared to the rest of the nearly totally destroyed castle. Before now she'd always been a little annoyed by the fact that Hogwarts only had baths and not showers. Showers were much quicker which would have meant more time to read before bed or before breakfast. But right now it didn't matter, she just wanted to feel clean. She walked over to the bath and turned on the hot water. Walking over to the sink and beginning to undress.
She had to move slowly because of her injuries but she eventually removed all her clothes, just before catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She looked small and frail. Her entire body was covered in cuts and blood and bruises and dirt. She sighed a little and crossed her arms and then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. The girl in the mirror looked even more lost than she felt and it scared her. She walked over to the tub where steam was rising and slowly lowered herself in. The water burned but it felt good. Really good. She took her time scrubbing the dirt off her body, wincing when the soap touched her cuts but continuing to scrub until the dirt and blood were gone. She took a deep breath and slid under the water to wet her hair and when she was under she was pretty sure she started crying but when she came back up for air she was sure.
As she continued to wash her hair she let herself cry. She cried for everyone who had lost their lives in the battle. Mostly Fred. And Remus and Tonks who had a newborn son. She cried for the past year. She cried for her parents and for Ron and for Harry and for herself. She had tried to be quiet so Ron wouldn't hear but it was too much. It was all too much. When she'd finally stopped she got out of the bath and reached into her bag, pulling out towels to dry herself off. She tried to find her pyjamas but couldn't. She thought she must have left them in Shell Cottage or something. So she pulled out a pair of sweatpants and one of Ron's many Chudley Canons shirts and put those on. She quickly brushed her hair and then walked back out into the room.
To her surprise, Ron was already sitting in Dean's bed (it was the most in tact out of all the beds) hair wet, wearing pyjama pants and a t-shirt that looked a little big on him.
"I just went and used one of the other bathrooms. And stole Neville's clothes." he explained giving a short laugh at the last part. She nodded and looked down at her feet, feeling shy again.
"I couldn't find my pyjamas so I may have stolen your shirt. I hope you don't mind." she said, looking back up at him. He shook his head.
"Not at all." She nodded and they stood and sat in an awkward silence for a moment.
"Well...goodnight. Or not night morning I suppose or-" she said, starting to ramble nervously and walk over to Dean's bed. But he cut her off.
"Hermione?" he asked softly. She looked over at him.
"Do you...maybe want to sleep with me?" he asked. Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head and he turned bright red shaking his head quickly.
"Not like that, not like that. I mean just sleep. In the same bed. Not that the other kind of sleeping with me would be bad it would be quite nice but...ugh bloody hell...you know what I mean." she bit back a smile, now he was the one nervously rambling. She nodded and walked over to the bed, getting in beside him. They both lied down and he carefully put his arm around her as she rested her head on his chest. It felt so right and so natural as if they'd done this dozens of times.
"We're going to be okay you know. All of us." she said suddenly, surprising even herself. He pulled her closer and nodded.
"I know that. Do you?" he asked. She frowned slightly.
"Of course I do." But she didn't. She really didn't. There would be so much to deal with when they woke up. A million questions too. But right now both of them were much too tired to care.
"Sweet dreams, 'Mione." he said quietly, kissing her temple and shutting his eyes. She was already half way asleep but she managed a "Sweet dreams Ronald." before finally drifting off.
Note: Hey everyone! This chapter was kind of slow but it's just the set up for everything else! I haven't really posted any new stories in a while so I hope ya'll like it! :)