Warning: If you read this cross-eyed you might see some hints of suicidal ideations.

Off the Grid

Tony walked along the dirt path lined with large trees in the quiet forest. Fallen leaves crunched beneath his feet as he readjusted the backpack he was carrying. The air was cool against his skin and the tall trees blocked out much of the warmth of the sun but he kept moving deeper into the forest and farther away from his vehicle. It would've been easy to turn back and give up or even come back some other time—Tony didn't even know for sure if the man he'd been searching for was at the end of the path—but he was determined and had never been a quitter.

It had taken Tony quite some time to track Jethro down after he'd disappeared but he'd focused on everything he knew about the man and with a little additional research he found himself in the backwoods of Virginia in a county he didn't even really know the name of, trekking through the forest. It wasn't until after the sun started setting that he was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief when he heard the sound of an axe splitting wood. Even without seeing the workman, he knew it was Jethro.

"Boss!" he called and a smile crossed his face when everything went momentarily silent.

Jethro was hard at work splitting enough wood to keep him warm for the night when he thought he heard a familiar voice off in the distance. He momentarily stopped what he was doing before deciding he was just hearing things again and continuing his chore. He was almost done but he was running out of daylight. That and there was a bottle of bourbon inside with his name on it.

He'd been staying at the off the grid cabin for nearly a month… at least he thought it was coming up on a month. The days were all starting to run together. Originally he was just going to be gone long enough to get drunk and numb the pain of a case gone horribly wrong but the numbness was addicting and the stress of real life was becoming more and more paralyzing with each drink.

As he continued splitting wood a glimpse of something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. Once again he stopped what he was doing and watched as the mystery man got closer. It wasn't long before he realized it was Tony and suddenly he was flooded with a mixture of fear and rage.

"That's no way to greet a visitor, Boss," Tony tutted cheerfully when he saw the look on Gibbs' face.

"'m not your boss anymore," Gibbs grunted.

"You'll always be my boss, Boss."

"What're you doing here, Tony?"

Tony quickly assessed Gibbs' appearance and the man's current living conditions and mentally berated himself for not finding him sooner. "Well, originally I came to check on you but judging by the state you're in, I'm gonna have change my answer to I came to save you from yourself." He softened his voice and approached cautiously. "You look like hell, Boss, and you smell even worse. What're you doing to yourself?"

"'m fine."

"No," Tony said gently but firmly, "you're not."

Gibbs was torn between being enraged at Tony for calling him out and wanting to break down in tears because he knew the man was right. Tony was one of only a handful of people who could call him out like that and get away with it but that still didn't make it easy to hear. Still, a small part deep inside him that hadn't yet been touched by alcohol respected the hell out of Tony for being such a strong man and a good friend.

Tony slowly reached for the axe and, when Jethro didn't let go, gently pried the man's fingers from the handle. "It's gonna get dark quick but a great man once taught me how to be prepared for any and all situations," he said, setting the axe aside. "Technically we could stay here but I'm guessing you don't have electricity or running water or any of the necessary modern conveniences in there and to be perfectly honest, you need a shower, Boss." He smiled softly, maybe even lovingly, at the man.

"I'm not going anywhere, Tony," Gibbs insisted.

"Alright," Tony said, "I was hoping we wouldn't have to do this because neither of us are any good with talking and feelings and mushy stuff like that but I can see you're forcing me into it."

"Tony—," Gibbs interrupted.

"No, no," Tony said, holding his hands up in surrender, "don't worry. I worked on a speech on the hike out here. It's actually pretty good."

"This really isn't necessary," Gibbs insisted.

"Maybe not," Tony replied, even though he thoroughly disagreed, "but I'd hate for my speech to go to waste." He smiled sadly at his boss as joking gave way to seriousness. "We're all hurting, Jethro," he said gently, "and we're all dealing with it the best way we know how. McGee's playing more video games. Bishop and her hubby decided it's time to have kids. I've never slept with so many women in my life," he smiled and tacked a joke onto the end of his statement, "although unlike Bishop I'm doing it for pure, life affirming pleasure; I don't plan on having any little DiNozzos."

Gibbs tried to smile but his heart wasn't in it and it didn't reach his eyes. "The others may believe your stories, Tony, but I've known all along."

"Known what?"

"You don't sleep with anywhere near the number of women you want us all to believe you do."

Tony seemed genuinely caught off guard by being called out. "You spent a month out here practically drinking yourself to death and you're still the great, almighty Gibbs. I'm impressed."

"I know you," Gibbs replied.

"And I know you," Tony countered. "I know that as unbearable as that case was for the rest of us, it was even worse for you. I know every time a case ends with a tiny coffin being lowered into the ground it gets harder and harder to figure out why we do what we do and if we're really doing any good at all. I also know there's a thoughtful, sensitive guy hiding beneath that tough guy exterior; a guy with feelings and emotions and even doubts that can sometimes be damn near paralyzing but you're stronger than you think you are. You're strong enough to get through this, Jethro."

Gibbs shook his head as the word 'no' played repeatedly in his mind. Tony knew him pretty damn well but no one, no one knew who he was deep inside. He couldn't always be the invincible hero who could bounce back from any tragedy that his team needed. "I'm not who you think I am," he said, his anger building. "I'm not some super human special agent who's untouchable by everything and everyone. I'm not the hero you guys all seem to think I am!"

"I know," Tony said with a nod. "The best parts of you are hidden. Know how I know that? 'cause the best parts of me are hidden too. You may be a functional mute and me a class clown which would seem like exact opposites to anyone with half a brain but we're really a lot alike. I promise you, I know you and I'm not gonna let you push me away so you can drink yourself to death out here in the middle of nowhere so, we can stand around and continue arguing while the last bit of daylight fades or get the hell outta here before we're contending with dark, cold and wild animals."

"Did you even hear what I said?" Gibbs' voice was still sharp with fury. "I can't pull you guys through this time."

"And did you hear me?" Tony countered patiently. "We don't need Superman. We don't want a superhero. We need Leroy Jethro Gibbs. We want Leroy Jethro Gibbs with all his heartache and brokenness. We're a family, Boss; the tightknit, stronger than DNA kinda family and I'll be damned if we're gonna leave a man behind. Especially one of our own so grab your gear and let's get going."

Jethro opened his mouth fully intending on insisting, once again, that he wasn't going anywhere but in a fleeting moment of clarity he realized he was being thrown a lifeline and he knew if he didn't grab on, there was a good chance he might die alone in the woods and he didn't want that.

"I think I might need help," Gibbs finally admitted.

"That's what I'm here for," Tony replied. He would be the strong one this time. He would get the team, the family, through an impossibly difficult situation and they would come out stronger than they were before. "I got your six."

Jethro turned and looked at the cabin behind him, the cabin that had been his home for the past few weeks and very well could've become his death house. Never again would he set foot inside the cold, musty interior. Never again would he run from his loved ones when he needed them most and deny his worth as a human being.

It wasn't up to him to determine his time to depart from the earth and thanks to Tony's determination in tracking him down he realized that. Even when he had failed his loved ones by running and hiding, they cared enough to hunt him down and bring him home and suddenly that was all Gibbs needed to take the first step away from the loathing and self-pity and back towards a life of meaning and purpose and most importantly, love.

End.