Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Futurama characters, unfortunately they are owned by Fox and all that jazz. But a man can dream…a man can dream.
A/N: Brought to you by the word, "ass".
Professor Farnsworth shuffled through the sliding steel doors to be greeted by the usual sight of his employees slacking off. No one looked up as he entered the room and sat down at the head of the conference table. Not until he quite loudly announced there was good news did anyone pay attention, "Good news everyone!"
"Who died this time?" Bender asked, leaning back in his chair.
"Oh…no one important. But I do have special package for you to deliver. And don't mess this one up, we're getting paid a lot of money for this!" the professor warned.
"You mean that green stuff that Bender always borrows?" Fry asked, looking over to see Bender fingering his money.
"Uh…yeah…borrow." Bender glanced around suspiciously.
Leela eyed the large box, wondering what they could possibly be delivering now. It wasn't as if much of anything they delivered was all that practical. Now that she thought about it, delivering one package at a time wasn't all that practical either. But her musings were left aside as the crate was dumped on the table. Fry thought he heard a faint, very faint, humming from inside.
"This should be a simple delivery", the Professor went on. "It", he pointed at the crate, "should be delivered to the Cowl manor residence. It is important that you deliver it to him safely, as he completely owns the tenth planet of our solar system."
"Ooo, you mean that new one that was just found, Xena?." Fry interjected.
"Fry, you idiot. It wasn't just found, its been known for years! Soon you'll be saying they've just found Earth's third moon. And besides, Xena is a dumb name, it was changed a long time ago." Farnsworth said.
"What'd they call it?"
"Charon"
"Uh…I don't get it." Fry looked around quizzically.
The professor ignored him and continued talking, "I believe Hermes has more to tell you, and do whatever it is I hired him for anyway."
"Ahem." Hermes stood up, glancing over an electronic notepad. "The package is to be delivered to a mon' known only as Deep Cowl, who should be on de premises. He will take care of it. Also, it is very important dat you deliver it within' two hours."
"Sounds like we've got no time to lose", Leela said, getting up. "Let's get crackin'."
"I don't know", Fry muttered, leaning back in his chair. "It's more fun waiting till the last minute, and then you have to run."
The professor sighed, he didn't expect much from them, he learned not to. Not like those flying, robotic, man eating lizards, he thought. Oh yes, the ones that could tear a man's flesh and listen to his every command, He cackled. Soon they will grow and take over New New York… if only they'd stop eating through the basement walls. Professor Farnsworth looked around, every pair of eyes in the room were staring at him. "Oh…you weren't supposed to hear that…" He quickly shuffled out of the room, making his escape into the basement.
Bender leapt out of his chair and hastily grabbed Fry and Leela by the wrists, "What are you guys waiting for? I mean., could you be any slower? We need to get this package delivered, now!"
Hermes looked over the rims of his reading glasses, and set away the notepad. "Bender, I haven't seen you this excited over anything since eating my 'Caribbean-o Jerked Prunes'."
"Hey! I know my prunes, especially the jerked ones. And those weren't prunes." Bender replied over his shoulder, carrying his two flailing crewmates along with him, "Anyway, I've got a date with a special Hookerbot tonight that I am not going to miss."
And with that final note, Bender (and his captives) boarded the Planet Express ship, starting a normal day in the plain year of 3001.
A/N: A lot of what I say is completely, and utterly false. Like Earth's third moon and such. With the "joke" (if you found it funny at all) surrounding the new tenth planet, I try to keep the facts straight, but more often then not they're a little off. First of all, it hasn't yet been confirmed whether or not Xena is a true planet yet and no, its name is not going to be Charon. That was just out there for all you Xena fans. But you can find more information by googling it.