It felt humiliating… just humiliating
Today was just another embarrassing chapter in his long history of forced acts.
He felt the soft fabric of his yellow, knee length dress flow around his body, protecting his hair with his arm while he ran. To the safest place his disoriented, broken mind could think of...
His best friends home.
The buildings around him started to show resemblance to the house he had been too ever since he found a connection with this strange boy. He remembered when ten years ago his overpowering hunger made him almost stare at a sandwich of a boy in front of him.
In the classroom the teacher was sitting at his desk, drinking a cup of coffee while looking around the room, observing the grey, barely decorated walls and looking at all the students individually, he couldn't believe it has only been ten years since then.
Even though his mother became convinced that she should keep suspicion away from him, in his earlier years he didn't get any lunch to school unless he wanted to go in a dress.
He stared at the perfectly cut edges of the sandwich which a purple haired boy was digging into. The red haired boy who sat next to him, made his golden eyes roll through their sockets as he started to slowly eat his sandwich Suddenly looking at his hungry class neighbour. He was too late to notice his shoulder being tapped, Making him lift up his arms to his head as a reflex.
When he saw the boy turning around again he thought the guy was just mocking him.
Until he felt another touch on his left knee. It was a tiny hand holding the other half of the sandwich his red haired classmate was just eating.
"You can have it, i'm not that hungry" the words felt like flowers in his head. Blooming for once after being neglected for so long. He felt tears swell up into his eyes, while he took the sandwich from under his desk. Giving the boy a thankful smile. The boy smiled back and the bluehead caught his friendly but confident looking classmate smiling at him multiple times that day.
From there the friendship blossomed making the tiny flowers in his head grow every day from ugly dried out disgusts, to beautiful roses, dahlias, and sunflowers.
He enjoyed spending time with him, how they would go on trips with their class. How the boy would always take another sandwich with him to school or any social activity they were involved in.
When he once told the boy in a casual conversation where the topic just seemed to creep up his birthday, every year the boy would give him chocolates or sometimes even a plushy. For the first time in a long time he felt wanted, not because of how he looked. He felt wanted because how HE actually was.
His best friends house became a save place. A place where his mother couldn't track him down. And even if she did, he would've been able to protect him from everything.
He caught himself crying, but he felt the raindrops covering his hole body with water. Making his tears blend into the soaked image of him.
He was still running while he felt the rather uncomfortable dress stick to his legs, he almost tripped when one of the leather straps of his black shoes shot of. Needing him to walk barefoot since he couldn't continue this way.
His phone rang in his hands. it was a old, broken phone which has been used by his mother before him. Who was just the person who was calling him right now.
He let the phone ring, biting his lip as he calculated the punishment he would endure since he did this. Every second the tune of his phones ringtone sounded out of the speakers. The more he realized the beating he would get. And how he needed to cover them up for school.
When the sound finally stopped he realized how silent the neighbourhood was. Only the sound of rain drops dripping from the sky falling to the ground.
He took a moment to admire the silence.
And then went on.
After running through the expensive looking houses he stopped at, what could be considered a villa. The white of the walls almost shined with the yards lights shining on it.
He banged on the wooden, professionally carved door. Knowing that probably only he was home at this hour.
"Karma! Karma! I'm here! Please open up!" He made the words flow out of his mouth while he felt the tears drip from his face onto the yellow fabric of the dress.
He heard footsteps. Not a normal pattern. No a running pattern.
The door swung open
Revealing the boy in his pyjamas. He had taken a jacket of the hangers next to the door.
"Nagisa.. a little rude to come to someone's door in the middle of the night. Right?"
This wasn't meant as a mean insult. It was meant in a fun teasing way as he liked to joke a lot.
His expression changed when he saw me crying. It was now clearly visible in the light of the hallway behind his friend.
He rushed forward, quickly taking a few small steps towards his friend. Then hugging him.
At first his red haired classmate tensed up, Making his body feel like it was frozen, like a statue, not being able to show any emotion.
But after standing there for a solid ten seconds. He relaxed placing his arm around the waist of the feminine postured boy. Fiddling with his braids with his other hand.
"Come on. Let's get you out of this soaked eye bleeding dress" he said giving the furnable boy a friendly, comforting smile
He relaxed a little, finally giving in to the warmth of the house and the comfort of the hug. grinned back he let go of the red haired boy's waist.
Karma, provided him with some spare clothes. That fitted him too well. He knew why though.. His friend took notes when stuff like size and style came up in conversations in class. His friend new his preferred material too. A soft stretchy fabric that was breathable.
He has been buying him spare clothes since the first time He came to his door two years after they had met. With a heavily damaged nose, not being able to explain what happened since blood was dripping in his mouth and all over his t-shirt.
He was thankful for such an amazing person in his life. Even though his sarcastic bestie could be a handful to keep from getting in trouble.
Sometimes he asked himself if he even deserved such an caring, humorous friend.
He walked back to the huge white colored kitchen. Two of these kitchens could probably not even fit in his moms house.
Overall his mother wasn't poor but not exactly rich either.
Having a apartment instead of a normal house, it was a lot harder to sneak out of his room. And flee the whole staircase down with usually bruised arms and legs. He remembered his hopelessness in compared with his mother's sudden outburst. Not wanting to upset her he would often let his guard down, making him furnable for a sudden punch.
since his mother always looked at him like a hawk. Looking at every step he took, she knew. She knew way too much about his body stances and his possible attacks. She knew how to control him, how to break him.
She knew him being furnable on his upper left arm.
Karma sat the dinner table. His legs criss crossed. Eating a bowl of hot steaming ramen. The bowl was decorated with indian signs and mythical creatures.
When he saw his blue haired friend walking out of the bathroom he stood up, walked to the kitchen table and took another bowl of the freshly cooked food. And offered it to him.
"T-thank you.. karma" the boy shaked while he took the bowl, and formerly sat down at the table, digging into his food.
He was hungry, and finally having something else then leftovers from his too busy with work mom made him feel even more driven to not stop gulping down the ramen.
Karma smirked. At the sight of his hungry friend, almost eating the bowl with it.
"Don't you need water anything?" He teasingly asked
Nagisa stopped when he realized his bad manners. Karma looked at him and smirked.
He placed his head on his hand. "Not that i expected it" he stopped and his expression got more serious. "What did she do this time?"
His blue hair covered his eyes when he looked down to his bowl. Karma noticed a tear falling into the ramen.
He remembered his mom offering him Food. He knew it was probably poisoned, his mom smiled at him, "dear you should eat for tonight"
She sat down at their table too.
looked at her with suspicion. She noticed it and kicked his knee.
He pushed his food around making it seem like was eating something
He smiled back at his mom expecting some sort Of nod or smile.
But instead he saw an angry glare biting him like snakes. She hooked her leg around my chair and sweeped it. Making him fall to the ground.
She stood up "did you really think i was gonna fall for such a dumb trick?!"
She grabbed his arm and dragged him to his room.
"Put on the clothes i picked for you tonight! You don't even want to know what happens if you set foot out of your room without it.
He heard his door lock with the key hisi mom always kept in her pocket.
He slowly turned around to his bed. Hoping the clothes wouldn't be too feminine.
He was wrong, oh so wrong. It was a bright yellow dress with a white, weddinglike belt and the same fabric covering the neck.
Some black leather shoes were placed next to it. And at last two ribbons, the same color as the dress.
He felt tears, burning his face. It felt like they were leaving imprints, but when he looked at his reflection in the mirror his mom hung up his wall. He knew it didn't, and it would never happen.
He put on the dress not wanting to upset him more.
He started asking himself if his mom would be calmed down or if she was still furious.
She was more then furious, she was BURNING. Holding a white cloth when he opened the door.
She took his arm and covered his eyes with it. He could feel his mom almost making his eyes press too deep in his sockets. He felt being dragged. As he couldn't stand or see. Everytime his mom would walk he tripped and felt the cloth burning in his eyes.
He heard the car unlocking and him hitting the backseat.
The cloth fell into his lap. It was covered in tears. He didn't even feel himself crying.
His mom was happy again.
"Well.. well..darling nagisa straighten your back like a good girl is supposed too!"
I didn't hesitate to do so. Even though it hurt keeping it completely straight.
They stopped at a diner on the side of the road. Nagisa had been there before,
with karma when he insisted that nagisa went with him after school at christmas night. While they both weren't old enough to drive. It wasn't far away from their school. The only problem though, his jacket was paper thin, luckily karma took a spare one out of his backpack. "i counted on this" he felt the words, it just felt securing that someone did watch him, Did care, and wanted to help him.
He was helped out of his memory when the car door opened, his mom friendly signing him to get out.
He felt embarrassed hoping no classmate might see him.
There was a boy, maybe four years older then him. Smiling at them.
"Well.. well.. nagisa my dear, i will be somewhere in the back of this place. Just scream if you need anything!"
It felt more like a "don't call unless you actually have a life threatening accident"
He sat across the table with the boy. His natural looking black hair covered his forehead was styled in a expensive looking coupe. His grin felt like a knife. It hit him, he wanted to get away, get away from this twisted idea which he already discovered the moment he sat down.
The "date" went perfectly. at one point the boy asked if he wanted to share some food.
He was extremely hungry and wanted to. but his mother who he made eye contact made it very clear that he shouldn't do that.
"I-i'll pass" his mouth spoke while he was shaking from hunger. The fear made it drift to the back of his Mind for a sec.
When he saw his mom packing her back he left too. Only for his mom to sign him to wait a few minutes.
The strange boy followed him, out of the diner. When he suddenly touched nagisa's shoulder he snapped.
His mom wasn't around so what could happen?
He kicked the dude in his stomach with his elbow.
He ran away. Like the reaper himself was behind him. He needed to get away.
He could hear the now on the ground boy shout profanities while he ran.
He shook out of his memory when karma leaned over the table touching his shoulder, making nagisa lift his arms up to his face hitting karma which made him take his hands back. "Heh.. still have the reflex huh? And.. it's okay if you don't want to talk about it"
He leaned back in his seat. "My parents are on a work vacation, having the time of their live.. they wouldn't care if we watched a movie or two…" he gave his signature smile. "Are you in? I still have a bag of popcorn or two too"
Nagisa felt a immense weight lift of his shoulders. again he nodded.
A few minutes later they were snuggled next to each other on karma's couch. Karma had taken the decoration blankets of the side of the couch and gave on to him.
Halfway into the second movie karma noticed nagisa's eyes close and shot open again. He felt nagisa's little body weight lean into him even more. He was falling asleep. Karma wondered if his mom left him to be and just grow like every kid should, he would've looked or acted different.
He smirked at the thought of a nagisa almost karma's height and being a cocky badass, who weared leather jackets and long boots to make him match karma's height.
"Sweet dreams" karma whispered to nagisa as his small body was now completely asleep.
He turned the movie of and pulled nagisa's blanket over his chest. He went into a sleeping position too and closed his eyes.
no ones dreams are completely random. they are made up by the mind, the same part of our body that makes us do all the crazy actions that affect our lives. Dreams affect us in another way though.. they make us fantasize...