Just some little drabble I wrote a few months ago and recently published on DeviantArt. It's mildly entertaining (in my opinion)
The Scotland, Ireland, Wales, and Northern Ireland mentioned in the "story" below are mine (note that my Ireland is a woman, and that Northern Ireland is younger than England)
Disclaimer: I don't own England or Axis Powers Hetalia
Over the centuries, England devised a list of several rules pertaining to his relations with his quirky and sometimes-usually-antagonistic siblings. It was a very random-seeming list, often the "rules" dealt with things most normal people didn't ever have to consider when it came to siblings. However, since England wasn't particularly normal himself (nor were his siblings) things tended to get a bit freaky, and one of them ended up doing something truly loony, thus the reason for the list in the first place.
1. Never accept a dare from Scotland … ever
2. Especially if that dare involves trying to out-drink Ireland (Note: Trying to out-drink Ireland period is impossible… unless the person in question would like to live without a liver)
3. Never brag about military conquests to Scotland, Wales, or Northern Ireland (unless you want to get beaten to a pulp)
4. Never ever suggest that Northern Ireland and Sealand get together for a play date (Note: Ireland will kill you if you do ever again)
5. When Scotland says don't touch the crystal, he means it.
6. Never let France challenge Ireland to a drinking contest. She will win, always (see Rule #2) and then try to break France's spine
7. The White Cliffs of Dover weren't always white…
8. Never let Wales talk you into joining the "Gaelic Mafia" with Ireland and Scotland
9. Never talk about a certain play around Scotland
10. Never refer to diseases concerning cows and potatoes to Ireland
11. Never pick a fight with Ireland on her own land… she will win
12. Never tease anyone about his or her accents
13. Never try to trick Wales into thinking he sat in "Busby's Chair"
14. Spending time with your siblings is alright when they aren't being nasty to you.
15. Always remember that Sean Connery was actually Scottish, not Irish or British.
16. Just because Wales is an awful curser, doesn't mean that the intent is any less present.
17. Scotland is a bit of a chauvinist, this will never change, and neither will the fact that Ireland will throw him out a window when he gets too full of himself.
18. Haggis is disgusting.
19. Never engage in a fight over whether an Irish policeman is better or worse than an English one
20. Don't let Scotland talk you into crashing "Girl's Night" especially when heavy drinking, Hungary, Belarus, Catalonia, Ireland, frying pans, and knives are present
21. Nessie is real… and likes nibble on people's heads… incidentally, she also drools… a lot.
22. Robert Louis Stevenson was also Scottish, not Irish or British (see Rule 15.)
23. Bram Stoker, on the other hand, was Irish.
24. Watching France get his arse kicked by Scotland and Ireland is endlessly entertaining.
25. Never, under pain of death, play with or make fun of Scotland's ponytail, also, never make fun of his "Man-skirt"… kilt
26. You can't choose your family, and even though they get on your nerves and can be really loud, you're still fond of them.