In a building in the roads of StarClan, a pretty tortoiseshell and a dark gray she-cat with a severely scratched pelt were moving into their new business. Well, Spottedleaf was, anyway. Yellowfang was sitting in a mahogany chair grumpily switching channels on the TV.

"Move it, Spot," Yellowfang grouched as an ad for cocoa beans came on. "We need to get settled down before the first patients arrive."

Spottedleaf sighed patiently. "My name is Spottedleaf," she reminded the old cat. "Not Spot. And also, you're not moving at all. I'm the one actually pushing the furniture in."

"What? Speak up! Why are you mumbling?" The old gray she-cat scratched at her left ear. "Did you say something about turning purrs?"

"Forget it." The younger she-cat rolled her amber eyes and resumed shoving the mahogany table in.

After a few heartbeats of watching TV, Yellowfang yowled again, "Did you hire the new assistant yet? I NEED MY COFFEE!"

Just as Spottedleaf was about to answer, the door slammed open and a light brown tabby tom with a twisted jaw walked into the door.

"Good, you're here, Crookedstar," Spottedleaf said with obvious relief. "Now I just need you to…"

What Spottedleaf wanted Crookedstar to do would never be known, for the heartbeat the RiverClan cat came in Yellowfang started screeching her head off.

"I TOLD YOU, SPOT, NOT A RIVERCLAN SCUMBAG! COULDN'T YOU HAVE FOUND A THUNDERCLAN ASSISTANT? AND BESIDES, HE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT HERBS!"

"Scumbag yourself!" Crookedstar retorted back, the fur on the back of his neck bristling. The two looked ready to leap at each other and claw the other cat's eyes out.

Spottedleaf, having dealt with this situation before, jumped in. "Stop it, you two. You both signed the contract, remember?"

"Eh? What contract?" Yellowfang said, distracted by Crookedstar's long, thorn-sharp claws. "You mean that little piece of paper that ended up in my sandwich?"

"WHAT?" Spottedleaf shrieked. She rushed into the kitchen, desperately searching for Yellowfang's frog-and-squirrel sandwich (as Yellowfang still liked to eat the occasional ShadowClan frog).

Now free from the tortoiseshell she-cat standing in her way, Yellowfang landed with a crash on top of Crookedstar.

"OUCH! Hey wait, I thought we were coworkers – OW! Yellowfang, your tail's in my ear! ACK! SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!"

Just then, Spottedleaf appeared again, holding in her paw a very slimy, very smelly crumpled piece of paper. "Whew! Yellowfang, did you put garlic in your sandwich?"

"HEY! I LIKE GARLIC!" The gray she-cat screeched around Crookedstar's paw, which was clamped in her mouth. "AND HELP ME OUT HERE, SPOT! THIS MANGE-PELT'S TRYING TO SCRATCH MY FUR OFF!"

"Oh, Great StarClan," Spottedleaf mewed, shaking her head, as she went to separate Yellowfang and Crookedstar.