Title: Remembering Memories

Author: Lovely Lady

Genre: Romance / Drama / Angst

Rating: T

Pairing: Spike / Faye

Disclaimer: This is my first fan-fic! I would appreciate any reviews; especially ones that can help me improve my writing. Remember, constructive criticism is good. Oh yeah, I do not own Cowboy Bebop or any of the characters. Enjoy!

Chapter 1 - Never Say Good-Bye Unless It's Final

It was an exceptionally chilly afternoon, considering it was in the middle of summer. Rain was pouring down in sheets, but Faye Valentine didn't take notice. She was soaked to the bone and she could care less. Her solemn eyes were focused on the marble gravestone in front of her marked, "SPIKE SPIEGEL."

Someone was shouting something to her over the downpour, but any noise other than the beating of the rain was lost. Faye heard the faint sound of footsteps behind her, but disregarded it. Her mind was entirely elsewhere.

He's dead. The words endlessly rang in Faye's ears. He's dead, and he's never coming back. Forget him and move on.

A light tap on the shoulder diverted Faye from her thoughts.

"…Faye…" came an almost inaudible voice.

Faye's hope for his survival was slightly reanimated. Was that Spike? That lunkhead, he was not dead after all…

"Faye."

The voice was more distinct. It wasn't Spike. It was Jet. "Faye, are you alright?" he asked. "We should get going soon. Ed and Ein are getting hungry, and you've been standing there, soaking for the past hour."

She wasn't ready to go back to the ship; there were just too many memories. Her feet remained rooted to the muddy ground. "Faye," Jet repeated, "did you hear me?"

Faye slowly turned around to face the middle-aged man. Her voice was almost mechanical. "I'm not coming, Jet."

Jet was confused. "Faye, standing here in the middle of a downpour is not going to bring him back. I know you miss him; we all miss him. But nobody has found his body since that night two years ago and he's been declared dead. You can't change the past. So let's go back to the Bebop and…"

"No," Faye whispered. "I'm not going back. Ever. Don't you get it? There is no 'Bebop' anymore. Not without him. We're nothing without him." God, she was pathetic. She couldn't even say 'his' name anymore; she would die if she said his name.

Jet was unprepared for that answer. Losing Spike and Faye would be unbearable. "Faye, be reasonable. Where are you going to stay? What are you going to do? You can't just run off." He paused. "Don't throw away your life at the Bebop just because he's gone. You're smarter than that."

"Enough! I've had enough of this bullshit! I've made my decision and neither you nor Ed can change my mind!" Faye screamed angrily. Tears welled up in her beautiful green eyes. After taking a deep breath, her voice became stern yet calm. "I've made my decision, Jet. I can't go back. Not after all we've been through." She paused. "It's just too hard. Going back will make me insane. Just being there will bring back too many memories. Memories I don't want to remember anymore." She looked up at him with tiredness in her eyes. "You three don't need me anyways. I never did anyone any good when I lived on the Bebop. Don't worry about what'll happen to me. I'll be fine on my own…I always have been."

He didn't know what else to say. He was at loss for words, but deep inside he knew he could not convince her otherwise. She was just too stubborn. "I understand. You're right. That place is full of too many damn memories to even count. I can't stop you, and I already know you can take care of yourself. You've always been independent, just like Spi-"

"Just go. Take Ed and Ein with you. You'll all catch a cold from standing out here in this shitty weather."

Jet nodded in silence and turned around to leave. Midway between his turn, he whispered to her. "Good-bye, Faye."

Faye barely heard him, but heard him all the same. She turned around to respond. "Don't say 'good-bye,' Jet. You know it's not really a good-bye." She continued to stare at the cold marble. "I have a feeling we'll meet up again sometime, so don't say it unless you mean it."

Jet glanced back at Faye one last time to smirk before he finally turned around to leave.

He gathered up Ed and Ein to leave, but Ed suddenly spoke up. "Where's Faye-Faye? Faye-Faye needs to get out of the rain. Ed doesn't want Faye-Faye to get sick."

Jet sighed morosely. "Faye's not coming, Ed. We're leaving without her."

Ed's response was less than tolerable. "Well when is Faye-Faye coming back? Is she going on a vacation? Will Ed see her soon? Where is Faye-Faye going?"

Jet's frustration arose unexpectedly. "Faye's not coming back, she's leaving for good. You and Ein and I probably aren't going to ever see her again, so stop asking!"

Before Ed could fully take in what he was saying, Jet forcefully yet gently shoved her away from the cemetery and from Faye. On their way to the ship, Jet stopped to think about Faye, who was still standing near Spike's gravestone.

She had looked horrible. Her hair that had once shone a beautiful violet had tangled and had hung motionless down her face. All of the makeup she had worn had run down her face from the rain. From further back nobody would have guessed that she had been so miserable, but up close her eyes were lifeless and slightly puffed from months of crying. Dark bags had noticeably formed under her once dazzling green eyes.

When Spike had been living, Faye had always walked around with a sort of glow, carelessly exposing her ivory skin by wearing skimpy clothes that molded around her perfect body.

When Spike had died, she had nearly died too. Since that night when Spike went to battle Vicious, Jet had noticed the change in Faye immediately. Her attire had become more conservative; Faye had only worn loose clothing that covered almost all of her body. She constantly locked herself in her room, only coming out to eat brief meals or for hygiene purposes. Their conversation level had gradually gone from sporadically to practically nothing.

However, she wasn't the only one who was affected by Spike's death. Everyone else was different too. Ed no longer bounced off the walls with joyfulness, and Jet became more pushy and explosive towards them. Even Ein was more depressed without Spike around.

Jet came back to reality and sighed with exhaustion as he quickened his pace to the ship. By the time Ed and Ein were ready and waiting, Jet was sprinting to catch up. He muttered under his breath after the huffing and puffing subsided. "I'm getting too old for this shit."

Back at the cemetery, Faye exhaustedly slumped to her knees, having completely disregarded the mud. Her sobs became louder now that she was alone. "Why did you have to leave me?" she yelled to the gravestone over the rain, "Why did I have to care about you so much? You didn't even care about me! What made you so damn special, huh? What made you so damn special!" She was screaming at the top of her lungs and crying her heart out, trying so hard to forget. She leaned her arm on the top of the marble and started pounding on it. Pounding on it as if it were Spike.

The rain suddenly ceased and realization hit her. She had to move on. She had to get out of there. While wiping away her tears, Faye finally found the strength to pick herself up. Her final words to his gravestone were barely audible, but strong, "Good-bye, Spike Spiegel." With that said, she silently walked away from his gravestone. And then the brilliant sun came out from behind the gloomy clouds.

Author's Note: Well, there's chapter one. I hope you all enjoyed it so far, and reviews/questions/comments would be much appreciated! If you liked it so far, expect chapter two in about a week or so. Thanks for reading! I have to get ready for school again. Bummer.