Danny struggled to get comfortable in his bed. "Do you know what it feels like, having your life torn apart and laid out in front of you? Have you ever felt that pain that makes you suffer so much? It burns just talking about it, Riley. I know that if I come out of this alive, everything will be different. I can't survive like this; I can't survive knowing that it's the end." He tensed and reached out in pain, then relaxed and fell into his bed.
"But it's not Danny. You can't let this bring you down. It wants to hurt you, but I know that you can fight it!" Concerned and worried, Riley tried her best to help Danny. "I love you, just don't leave me, don't make it hard on both of us." Her hand skimmed the hospital bed eventually reaching his old, fragile face. A blue tear forced itself through tiered eyes. Her gentle thumb stroked his tear away. "We have lived a worthy life together, it shouldn't end like this. Not in a hospital."
Her hunched body lifted up as she looked around the hospital ward. There were men and women cold to the touch, lying still as if they were dead, as if there was a curse upon every living soul. But it was Danny and Riley who were afraid, afraid of death and what might happen. She reached her hand out toward Danny's, tightly locking their fingers together. But the only thing that terrified Riley the most was that feeling of being alone without Danny.
"Morning," A tall, elegant woman wearing a long, fitted white coat casually strolled towards them holding a clipboard piled with paper flourished with information. "My name is Doctor Jacqueline-Mae and I will be helping you throughout these few months. I will be aiding you as much as I can with support, determination and your upcoming decisions, which will be vital." The Doctor stood upright proudly, observing her future patients, waiting for a response.
There was no reply. Instead Danny tightened his grasp on Riley's hand. She turned her head to look at him as she noticed his reaction to what the Doctor had said, so she turned back round towards the Doctor and smiled innocently. "If you have any questions to ask me, then do so now, otherwise you can call me at any point by pressing that button on the side of the bed. Later today I will start talking to you about your time here in the hospital, ok?" Doctor Jacqueline-Mae smiled and swayed off, through the exit of the ward.
"Riley, I don't want this!" His voice was weak and frail. He lay still, before leaning up and groaning in pain. "I need water,"
"No, no, no. You stay here, I'll go and get us some water." She forced her hand away and placed it on his head, trying to cool his temperature. "I'll be back soon, you rest, alright?" She leaned over to kiss him gently, pushed her hand through his hair and then walked away.
The trek from the wards to the water fountain seemed to take forever. Riley's body was thin and feeble; she wasn't the young lady she used to be. She sluggishly limped towards the water, trying to take every step with caution. "Mrs. Wheeler, you must be exhausted, please let me help you." Her gentle voice embraced Riley as she turned around seeing Doctor Jacqueline-Mae. "As I said, I will help you in any means necessary." She reached her arm out and took hold of a cup and filled it with cold water. "There you are, nice and cold. Your husband will need it to keep his strength up."
Riley kindly accepted the Doctors beverage. "I'm ever so sorry Doctor, but I don't think you can be of much help to us. I have known Danny all my life, and I want you to understand that he can be very stubborn. I will greatly accept your hospitality for us, but it would take a bit more persuading for him. He's been through a lot lately - his mother died not long ago, she was a wonderful and spiritual woman. We're 70 now and all this dead weight is on both of us. I will stick to Danny like glue, I won't leave his side. I want all the help in the world to give us back the old Danny I used to know." Riley slowly but surely walked away, retracing her steps. The Doctor didn't say a word, or gesture any emotion, she just stood in silence, her hand still out when offering her the cup. Her mouth was wide open, staring at Riley as she walked away.
The next morning dragged on as Riley sat up in her chair considering Danny. "Morning," Doctor Jacqueline-Mae was standing at the bottom of Danny's bed, observing them both. "I have a lot to get through today" She dragged a chair over and sat down. "We have done tests and have unfortunately confirmed that Danny has stomach cancer." He shot up, looking from side to side, heart pounding, breathing rapidly and quickly reaching out his hand, wanting to grab Riley and drag her closer. "I'm sorry but there was no other way to tell you. I believe it's best that you hear it now instead of worrying about it later when we get closer to the deadline for the surgery." She smiled politely and started rummaging through the pieces of paper.
Danny turned his head towards Riley, staring at her as if he was searching through an old photo album. His eyes bruised and drooped down as if he hadn't slept for two years. He didn't want to go through this pain. His hands were constantly grasping onto his stomach, and was continuously swallowing as if having a permanent dry throat. His saddened gaze changed direction, waiting for the Doctor to give more inquisitive news. "From what I've seen, your previous job was as an ice hockey player. From this information it is likely that since you retired, the lack of physical activity had increased your risk of stomach cancer." She turned some more pages leading her to the surgery information. "Now then," she kindly looked to her right towards Riley. "I just need to make sure that you two are alright with the idea of Danny to go through surgery." Riley turned round to glance at Danny; his face was shimmering from sweat. He slowly nodded, not looking at Riley. She longingly looked at Danny, tears rising in her eyes. "Alright," the Doctor noticed Riley was crying, but didn't want to intervene, she knew that this was a personal matter. "Well if it's ok, I'll tell you about the surgery now."
Through the rest of the day, Danny and Riley were told everything that they needed to know about the surgery that would be taking place. He was to have part of his stomach removed, even though it would have been likely for him to have cancer many years after the surgery. After the surgery, they were told that it takes a while to heal, but it was different for everyone. Even if Danny was able to heal and recover quickly enough, he would still have to spend a few weeks in the hospital, maybe longer. The treatment he would have to have was chemotherapy and radiation therapy after the surgery just to make sure that the cancer has definitely gone or in case another symptom of cancer had returned.
Just from thinking about it, Danny turned over the bed and was vomiting. The Doctor instantly stood up and rushed towards Danny. She called over to a nurse who brought him a cold glass of water. But he kept being sick, blood was starting to come out of his mouth along with chunks of food. He had to take in a deep breath, then accidentally breathed in some vomit so started coughing drastically. The Doctor kindly kept patting and stroking his back to make sure that nothing else came out. Riley stood still, wanting to touch Danny to comfort him, but she felt useless. She knew that there was nothing she could do in order to make Danny feel better. She wanted to help, but didn't know how.
"Will he be alright?" As Riley spoke, Danny turned back round and took a swish of water and spat it back out.
"He'll be fine, these symptoms are a sign of stomach cancer." She straightened up and went back to sit down. Riley grabbed hold of Danny's cold, wet hand and squeezed tight. "I think we should leave it there for now, tomorrow if you want, you can ask some questions about the sugary, and then I'll give you the information on when your surgery will be taking place." She sympathetically smiled and stood up. Looking down, she grabbed hold of the end of Danny's bed, her gaze lowered to hide her eyes as if she was keeping a dark secret from Danny and Riley. "I know it'll be hard for you," Doctor Jacqueline-Mae's head still lowered. "but, you've got each other for comfort and... just stay strong." Her hand kept moving back and forth on the end of his bed.
"Thank you Doctor, we're very grateful for what you're doing for us." Riley slowly stood up, leaning on her chair and limped towards the Doctor. "You're a wise young lady, just like my daughter, and through that, I know I can trust you." She put her wrinkled hand onto the doctor's soft, gentle hand that stopped moving. Doctor Jacqueline-Mae froze and looked up graciously. Tears were filling her eyes with watered marks down her face. "There's no need to cry dear." Riley reached into her slightly torn pocket, and brought out a handkerchief. "There, there."
"Thank you, but I really must be going!" She rushed off, nearly making Riley trip up, and had dropped the handkerchief on the floor. She kept looking down and rubbing her eyes to get rid of the tears.
"She'll be fine, Riley"
The next morning arrived and Danny was given a tray full of food. His body was wasting away as he took a deep breath and stuffed some food into his mouth. "Danny, don't force it down." Riley reached out and lowered his hand.
"If I don't eat, I'll get even worse, you know that as well as I do. Every time I eat, I'm full and bloated, I can't help it. I don't want to be here, I can't stand lying in this stupid bed all day every day until my cancer is gone. Who knows maybe I won't survive it!" His words pierced through her heart. "Riley," he leaned forward, but she pushed herself away. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," she leaned back in her chair, legs crossed, arms folded, looking away from him. "I'm sorry, I don't know what to do. I want this to be over as quickly as possible and if it means..."
"No!" Riley stared at him as if wanting him to reply. "You think I'm angry with you because you raised your voice at me? Through everything we've been through, you talk about ending your life just like that!" She clicked her fingers. "You won't be alone through this because you have me, and our Doctor will help us every step of the way. Do you hear me?" Danny slowly nodded his head. "Now we are going to get through this, and when we do, we're going to go back home and have a nice cup of tea!" He didn't know what to say, he felt as if he had just been told off by his old school teacher.
Before Riley and Danny could finish their sentences, Doctor Jacqueline-Mae entered with a bright smile on her face. They both glanced at her in confusion and fascination because of what had happened last night. She acted as if nothing had happened, as if she had skipped a whole day of her life.
"Morning, how did everyone sleep?" They both answered in silence, still looking suspiciously at her. "If it's ok with you, I need to record some information, then you can ask some questions about..." She hesitated and looked behind her. "Is something behind me? You're both staring at my face very intently." Still no answer. "Well, I'll shake that off and ask the questions." She reluctantly moved a chair over, still wondering why they were constantly looking at her. "I have most information down, but I haven't been in contact with most of your family, can I ask if any of your relatives have had any kind of cancer, or of similar sort of illness?" Danny shook his head. "All right then." She quickly jotted it down on a piece of paper and suddenly leaned back, crossing her legs. "Do you have any questions?" She smiled politely and waited.
Danny sat up, took a sip from his cup and cleared his throat. "Why do I have this?" His question was blunt, but the answer was clear.
"As I said not long ago, it's from the sudden lack of physical activity that caused it, otherwise stomach cancer usually begins in cells in the inner layer of the stomach. Over time, the cancer may invade more deeply into the stomach wall. A stomach tumor can grow through the stomach's outer layer into nearby organs, such as the liver, pancreas, esophagus, or intestine." She straightened up uncomfortably.
"What about the treatment, how should I prepare for that?" His voice quivered.
"There's not much I can really say about that, for chemotherapy you just need to make yourself feel comfortable. The obvious one I can think of is wearing comfortable clothing, elbow length and longer, radiation therapy is basically the same, to stay comfortable."
"Last question, when am I going to have surgery?" He cautiously looked up at her.
"Depends when you're ready, but if you can't make the decision soon, we'll have to chose a date." Her voice lowered. Silence had taped their mouths shut. The Doctor looked around. "So, if there aren't any more questions, I better be going." She smiled politely and edged away.
Over the next few days, Danny was trying to find the right day for the surgery to take place. He was constantly quiet, as if he was in shock, and didn't talk to Riley since their last conversation which was about Riley complaining about what would happen when they return home.
"Hi Ben," Riley picked up her phone. "Yeah, he's doing alright." She stood up and walked away from Danny's bed. "I'm scared Ben, he hasn't been talking for three days. Every day it gets worse and worse, it's as if I'm waiting for his death! I can't wait any longer Ben, what should I do?"
Danny looked over towards Riley, trying to find out and listen to who was on the phone. "Really? You think that's best? He'll be shocked to the bone - I can't put that much stress onto him... Yeah, yeah, you're right. Better now than never... Ok, yeah, I'll be fine. I will, see you soon then. Bye." Riley slowly lowered the phone and ended the call. She breathed in deeply and breathed back out. She stood still, looking away from Danny. She turned her head, he was sitting up, eating his lunch. She walked straight on, further away from Danny.
I'm sorry Danny, I really am.
"Where have you been? I've been waiting for you for an hour." Danny had a huge smile on his face, he looked up at his wife. "You alright?"
"Danny, it's time... You know it is." He frowned in confusion. "I've talked to our Doctor about the surgery. You'll be having it tomorrow morning." She quickly stepped back and waited for his answer.
"What? Riley, I can't, not now!" He immediately sat up and started to go get up from his hospital bed.
"You know that this cancer is going to spread quickly, and isn't it better that I chose a date instead of them picking one for us? Danny please..." She reached out her hand to lift him up out of bed. His tall slim body, balancing on two skinny legs. They both looked into each other's old, broken eyes, their wrinkled hands met as they drew into a hug.
"I love you Riley, you know I do. These few days have just been tiring, I wanted to make them last, just in case..." He broke off, not wanting to finish his sentence.
"No, you know that won't happen, you're a strong man." she released herself from their hug and had a glimpse at Danny's frail, weakened body. "You'll make it, in fact, we'll make it together." Danny smiled and lovingly kissed her on the forehead.
"We'll stick together no matter what."
All was quiet and peaceful. Outside was bright and sunny, the birds were chirping and everything seemed to brighten up. Ben had arrived the next morning carrying a basket of fruit.
"How's Emma?"
He laughed and chuckled. "She's been great thanks, growing up way too quickly. Making me feel like an old man. She's got a boyfriend you know, I don't trust him. I always think of the day when we first got Emma, how I was a wreck. I always assume boys these days were like me when I was young. I am warming up to him though, they've been going out for a few years now. I feel like he's going to propose. He'd better you know, I want grand kids before I go."
Riley laughed and hugged him. "It's great to see you again Ben, we have missed you very much." She smiled gratefully.
"So where's Danny?" His heart was beaming, to see his brother after so long. He looked around nervously.
"He'll be round soon, he's just preparing himself for the surgery today." She forced a smile, trying to hold away the tears. Ben embraced Riley with a brotherly hug.
Shortly after, Danny came striding in holding his arms out to greet Ben. They laughed and patted each other on the back, talking amongst themselves.
"I cannot remember the last time I saw all of us together." He offered them both a seat. "Do you remember those days? When I was too quiet to tell Riley how I felt for her, when Emma was just a baby and when you, Ben were... Yourself!" All three laughed and huddled closer together. "After Emma, me and Riley had our dear four kids. Their living their own life now. Then high school," they all leaned back on their chairs, looking up and imagined their young selves back at high school. "Our tree house that we made, it was a total shame when it was chopped down, I miss it so much." Riley firmly placed her hand on his and squeezed tightly, smiling gratefully.
"Then our baseball team, you never told me how you felt. I literally spent the whole of high school living in that baseball team." Riley looked away to hide her from blushing.
"Do you guys remember your arguments?" He chuckled and leaned back in his chair. "Whenever you had a typical argument, you both always came to me and then I was the one who had to sort it out. But I never did, you always seemed to work it out yourselves." His voice faded as he thought back on how empty his life was. Danny leaned over and pecked Riley on the cheek.
"Mr. Wheeler? We're ready for you." Doctor Jacqueline-Mae appears from round the corner holding a clipboard. "If you'd please follow me." She opened her arm out to one side.
Danny slowly stood up; he looked down at the others who were gripping onto their chairs. Riley stood up as quickly as she could and grabbed hold of him, gripping him tight and not wanting to let go. She shared a kiss with him, and then stood aside. Danny nodded respectfully to Ben, but he got no reply as he stared at him with scared eyes.
Hours had passed that felt like days. "Mrs. Wheeler," the doctor came charging through the doors finding Riley and Ben holding hands next to each other. She looked down at them and smiled. Ben stood up immediately. "The surgery went well as planned, but then we found another source of cancer elsewhere." She waited and took a deep breath. "We then noticed that new signs of cancer has been dotted around his body, there was no way we could..."
Riley grasped her hand to her mouth, tears pouring down her face. She frantically breathed in and out, gasping for air. "We're deeply sorry," her eyes followed to her left towards Ben who had his hand on Riley's back. "If you'd like to see him one last time-"
"Yes!" Riley cried. She shot herself up, wiping her tears away with her hand. "I want to see him."
His body was cold, empty and lifeless. Dead. Danny's wrinkled body was laid on a bed. Riley gently raced her hand through his hair. She leaned over and shared one last kiss with him. "I love you so much." She stepped back and held Ben in one arm. They both looked at him.
"He's so peaceful," Ben studied his brother lying dead. "He used to be so lively." They supported each other in each other's arms, sharing a clouds worth of tears between them. "Good-bye Danny." He stroked the side of the bed as he gradually walked away, later followed by Riley.
A year had passed and it was Riley's time. She lay in a hospital bed, looking up at the ceiling. Ben had already passed away, and now it was just Riley, her children and their children left. "You're going be with Father now." Riley's daughter leaned over to kiss her mother of the forehead. "We love you so much." They smiled and all gathered round. Riley gleamed with the idea of being with Danny again. Her vision began to blur, her hearing faded and her eyes closed, then there was a bright light.
Her eyes opened, ending her up in an endless garden filled with vibrant green grass, and flowers filled with colour. She looked around her surroundings, smiles lifting her up as she felt a cool breeze across her face. Then a shadow was cased behind her, she turned round to find Danny. His younger self, tall, strong and enthusiastic as ever standing in front of her. He had a huge grin on his face as he took her and, drew her closer and melted into a heavenly kiss. Their lips parted and they walked hand in hand together further into the endless garden. Finally Riley and Danny were together again.