Title: "The Un-Brady Bunch"

Author: Jerome Mullins, sellgju@student.alvernia.edu

Rating: PG

Spoilers: None.

Category: MSR, William POV

DISCLAIMER: If I had a genie, I would wish to have control over the X-Files gang, but knowing me I would probably mess it up royally. They all belong to, and remain, in the safety and care of the court at 1013 under Lord Carter. "Hail Surf-God! Those who wish to write well salute you!" I promise I'm not being paid for this.

Archiving: Please, anywhere. Just let me know.

Feedback: All comments welcomed (both negative and positive) and will be responded to. Address is listed above.

Author's Notes: This is to my little "William." Daddy can only hope that this is what you will be telling your roommates at the university someday. Happy Birthday, love Daddy and Mommy (aka "Agents Mulder and Scully").

* * *

"Do you wonder if your parents ever loved each other?"

"What?"

"I mean, have you. Do you ever question if your parents really love each other, or if they ever did?"

"Do you?"

A confident snort. "Everyone does. Take me for example, I don't think my father ever loved my mother. I'm not too sure she ever loved him either."

"They why did they get married?"

"He thought her ass looked good," he slumped down further into his chair.

"There had to have been another reason besides the appeal of her 'derriere.'"

"I don't think so. They got married because Mom was pregnant with me."

"Now, see, that's not exactly the BEST reason, but they must have loved each other if they agreed to get married and have you."

"My grandmother would have killed my mother had she known the truth. Mother told everyone I was three months pre-mature for thirteen years before the truth came out."

"But they still got married, and here you are."

"Yes, here I am. Notice there is only ONE of me. No brothers nor sisters."

His roommate fell silent, there was no cheering his friend this time. The letter lay at his disturbed companion's feet, his parents were getting a divorce. The news unleashed a horde of family anxieties that disrupted his roommate's studies. As much as he wanted to reassure his friend that he was not alone, he had to disagree.

"EVERYONE doubts their parent's relationship?"

"Yeah," he looked over to his friend who sat at the desk with a copy of Dante's INFERNO open in his left hand, pen in the right with a yellow legal pad under his arm. "Don't you ever wonder?"

His answer was a boisterous laugh. "No, never," he shook his head.

"You're full of it," he turned back to the letter and ignored his roommate's laughter. He then slammed his palm on the arm of the chair and marched over to the desk. "Are you saying that your parents have the PERFECT marriage?"

The word "perfect" triggered even more laughter.

"Jerome, I would be a liar if I ever said that my parents have a perfect marriage," he ran his right hand through his short hair. When he leaned forward under the desk lamp, Jerome could see his roommate's dark hair had a hint of auburn in it. His eyes were a perfect clear blue.

"Alright, Will," he sat down on the bed next to the desk. "What would you call your parent's relationship?"

"Wonderful," he said without a moment's hesitation. "Passionate."

Jerome shook his head and leaned back on the bed as William went back to his studies. His eyes wandered over his roommate's side of the dorm room. The typewriter and notebook computer William owned were surrounded by stacks of literature, classic poetry and a vast collection of true crime novels. A baseball bat stood in the corner of the room next to the basketball and behind the night stand next to the bed. The surface was covered with a copy of the Saint Jospeh's Sunday Missal, the King James Bible and Ovid's METAMORPHOSES. Next to these favorite books were two photographs.

The first was of his siblings, Jerome held it up and instantly recognized his roommate in the center of the picture between two younger sisters. At their feet were the three little brothers, two of which were twins and the youngest appeared to be no older than a year. The photo had been taken nine years before.

"Six kids," Jerome whistled. William smiled but did not look up from his work. "Passionate, huh?"

"They're in love, Jerome. Love making was always a joy for them, an added bonus was that their faith encouraged them to 'go forth and multiply.'"

A chill ran down Jerome's spine, he looked back to his studying friend. "Where in the Hell did you get that crap?"

"Truth is never garbage," he glanced briefly to his friend and then back to his work.

"Right," he rolled his eyes. "Lord William the Honest, defender of the truth and knowledge."

He looked back to the second photograph of a young couple. They appeared to be too young to be William's parents, Jerome assumed they must have been courting, if not newly married. The man was tall, well built with broad shoulders and a strong frame, handsome with the obvious appearance of being an athlete. Judging by his roommate's love of American baseball and basketball, Jerome could safely assume the love of these sports were passed along from the father to all the children.

The woman was smaller in frame but with a look of great strength and equally great intelligence as well as compassion. She was beautiful. Her auburn hair was reflected in her elder children, though William only had a hint of it, his sisters had the same shade as their mother. The twins had their father's hair color and the baby was too young to tell. William was a combination of both his parents in his features, but he did have his mother's eyes. The rest of their children appeared to have variations of both their parents with the exception of the youngest girl. Aside from the auburn hair, she was almost the spitting image of her father.

As Jerome starred at the photograph longer he could see exactly what William had meant by them being in love.

"Wow," he said quietly to himself. "Do they always look like that?" "Whenever I saw them together they did. They're happy together. He always had that stupid smile too. you know when a guy has just been with a girl. you know. That smile," he nodded.

"They get it on often?"

A knock at the door caught them by surprise. Jerome answered and stood back to let in a tall black student dressed in sweat pants and a white t-shirt that showed off his well developed and toned muscles.

"Mulder, you missed mail call," he held out a letter.

William goy up from his desk and walked over to his peer. Jerome could see William matched his father's frame and height. He took the letter from his friend.

"Cheers, Mark, see you at practice in an hour."

"In an hour, remember you promised to help me with the right hook," he nodded to them both and headed down the hallway to his room.

"Getting your boxing buddies to collect your mail for you? You study too much," Jerome shook his head and closed the door. "You still didn't answer my question, Will."

William wasn't listening, he tore the envelope open gently and removed the letter. His smiled brightened as he recognized the handwriting. "Mom writes she and the family will be coming up to the match on Saturday."

"Will?" Jerome sat down on the bed next to the desk.

"What?"

"How often do your parents have sex?"

William snorted at the question. "They have six children, what do you think? And it was never 'sex,' it was 'making love.'"

"Did you ever hear them?"

William ignored him and headed back to the desk as he continued to read.

"Did you ever catch them in the act? 'Making love' as you say?"

William blushed involuntarily.

"You did!" Jerome laughed.

"It was an accident, I wondered into their bedroom without knocking one afternoon. Needless to say that I learned my lesson to always knock that day."

"Did you freak out? Did they know?"

"I never told them, if they saw me they didn't let on. No, I didn't 'freak out,' why would I?"

"They're your PARENTS, man. Wasn't it. weird?"

"No, they love each other. I'm just embarrassed for walking in on something so private and intimate."

"You just can't handle the image of your mother riding the horse, can you?"

"Fox," he corrected.

"So they never fought?"

"I didn't sat that."

"So they did fight?"

"Each other?" William thought for a moment. It suddenly occurred to him that he had never caught his parents actually yelling at each other. "They fought sometimes," he nodded.

William recalled a time when he was about four, his parents were in the study arguing. Their voices weren't raised, nor were they really fighting. There were hushed tones and whispers. His father wanted to travel to protect the family, his mother was pregnant with their third child at the time, he wanted to go alone while she wanted to family to stay together. The hushed argument quickly turned into lover's whispers. She was right and he gave into her wishes to keep everyone together. Five months later, the family moved to London and his youngest sister was born in the two months following.

The whole family had found a great happiness and comfort in England. No one missed, nor thought of, the United States. He and his sisters, Melissa and Katie, quickly adapted and fell in love with the British countryside. Two years after the move, the family welcomed Mark and James. Another two years and they were blessed with David, who was an unexpected yet joyful surprise to all.

All the children had been raised knowing just what a miracle their births had been. Neither parent made a secret of the fact that in the days of their courtship, both believed that they were unable to have children. Despite any medical explanation, the family had grown and expanded to six children total. Both devout Roman Catholics, William's parents simply reasoned it was God's doing and little else was offered as an explanation.

His mother and father were unquestionably in love with each other. William could remember the mornings when his parents made breakfast for the whole clan. Touches, kisses, gazes, all directed towards each other. They spent a lot of time together and with their children. Doing things together as a family was always of the utmost importance. He also could recall the times when each parent would spend quality time with each child alone. William believed that all are equally loved by their parents. He was also sure that had they married earlier, the family would have probably been eight or more children total.

"You're happy, aren't you?" Jerome broke his thoughts.

William nodded, understanding every intended meaning to the question. Happy in his home life, in his own life, with his parents and family.

"My mother once told me that if a child grows up in a loving family, they will grow up to be happy. She's right," Jerome said.

William took his parents picture from his roommate and smiled.

"Remind me to introduce you to my parents when they come up for the match against Cambridge on Saturday. You can see for yourself."