I Won't Let You Go

by DanielleLPattz

OneShot/Post 3X14. Its the morning after the night before, Elena is cut up with guilt for how she treated Damon and decides to go apologize only to find her worst nightmare. Also insights into Esther's real plans. My ideas on All My Children

Hi All :D

Okay so this is just a one shot, granted rather a long one shot but if you have read any of my stuff before you'll know I don't exactly do small lol

So after last episode I felt a lot of things (annoyance mainly), I couldn't wait for the next episode and also a few random ideas came into mind with how it could all turn out. Well actually, this is how I hope Thursdays episode turns out but I'm pretty sure it won't :( (Not because I've jumped to extremes like Elena and Damon running off and getting married and miraculously having children lol) Just because Delena isn't looking to positive at the moment and I'm missing them so... you get my point. Also everything in this one shot in my eyes could happen (least I hope so lol) so I've kept to some of which I've seen from the promo's and webclips etc.

Anyway less of me, I hope you enjoy :D

Disclaimer: TVD belongs to LJ Smith.

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EPOV

"I find myself unable to take your call right now. I'm either busy or thanking modern technology for Caller ID and feel disinclined to answer. If you feel the need to leave me a message that I rarely ever check, go ahead and waste your time…" That… man could be a smug son of a bitch sometimes and I could hear the smirk in his voice as it tickled my ear.

That was the third time tonight that I'd called and been greeted with the same voicemail message. And with each time I hear the message the more and more I begin to believe it was less about him being busy and more about him avoiding me. He could behave like a real spoiled brat at times, okay so I said things I didn't mean to but why can't he trust me? Why can't he just hear me out and understand that I'm not just some naive little girl and that I'm capable and willing to do all I can to protect the people I care about? Okay so maybe he'd already told me why but I couldn't hear him say things like that to me. I can't handle him being there the entire time; ready to jump in front of a moving bus for me. He's making things so hard, and there is so much other stuff going on right now that I just can't cope with any added pressure or to have my mind clouded.

But I'd been trying to sleep for a while and whenever I closed my eyes all I could see was the look on his face when I'd blurted what I had. He had looked heartbroken and believe me I knew what it was like to have my heartbroken and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy and here I was inflicting it on the one and only person who had been there for me while I was suffering from my broken heart, the only one who I'd really had to count on.

The look in his eyes weren't the only thing that had been haunting me, but his words from several months ago. "You and Katherine have a lot more in common than just your looks." I resented him for that comment because deep down it was one out of two of my greatest fears.

I could have hung up like the previous times but this time I decided to leave a message whether he would get it or not I did not know but there was no harm in trying. "Damon… it's me…" I hoped he would know my voice by now. I sighed and lay down on my bed. "I know you're angry with me right now and… part of me doesn't blame you… I…" I wanted to tell him I was sorry and that I didn't mean what I said. I should have thought before I spoke, I knew that now but unfortunately I couldn't take it back. I should be apologizing and tell him how I never meant to hurt him but I turned chicken like I had been doing a lot when it came to him recently. "I just wanted to let you know I got home okay"

It was a good thing I decided to chicken out because my time was up and the phone cut out preventing me to say anything more. A heavy exhale past my lips and I tossed the phone onto the bedside table, pulling my covers up and over me and surprisingly enough I felt something wet trickling down my cheek. My head was all over the place, as would it seem my heart. Stefan and I shared a few moments this evening and I found myself pleading with him and as I think about it now I can't put my finger on why. I had seen a hint of the old Stefan being back tonight and I'd been so desperate to feel what I had for him back then, everything would be so much easier if I did. I would be able to love him and be reassured there were no growing feelings for something else. Of course there are moments like this when I simply wished for things to be easy or to have my mom here to tell me what I should do. It was also times like this I felt like I would be a disappointment to them.

At some point I'd managed to fall asleep, but a part of me wished I hadn't because I'd dreamt throughout the night and the dream hadn't helped to clear my mind in the least - The opposite to be honest. I'd dreamt that I'd kissed Stefan in a situation similar to what occurred earlier in the evening but on pulling away it had been Damon who had been standing before me and I'd been standing there flustered and just… mesmerized.

Now I lay on my back staring up at the ceiling with the morning sunlight peeking through the break in my curtains. There are problems with dreams, and especially dreaming about a guy. The guy can be anyone but if you've found yourself in an intimate embrace with said guy it seems the particular guy is stuck in your head, plus last night's events didn't help. I had those tightening sensation in my chest and stomach, I put it down to feeling guilty… I had to think it was that. I couldn't allow myself to think it was anything more.

So to eliminate these feelings I knew I would have to face him and apologize. Plus the sooner I apologize and explain then he won't go off the rails or do something stupid; something he might regret - The typical Damon Salvatore behaviour.

Around half-nine I found myself pulling up outside a familiar Tudor designed house and I noted that Damon's car was parked just outside the garage. Stefan's Porsche was nowhere to be seen but he would never leave it parked out on the drive, it was his pride and joy. How can I compete with that? But that isn't the point in all honesty I hoped Stefan wasn't here, not because I didn't want to see him but because having to face them both together seemed to be getting more difficult and if he is here and I turn up and tell him I'm here for Damon then… it just makes things all the more awkward as you can imagine.

So with my luck who do you think was the first person I bumped into on entering the house - Yep, Stefan. I might have mentally groaned at the situation but to be honest I was groaning on finding the house in a complete state. Things were everywhere, curtains were torn and hanging from the collapsed poles. There were smashed vases, paints sagging on the walls. The place was a right mess and the first thought that ran through my mind was that Damon had been angry and the two of them had fought. It was times like this that I really hated this because I felt responsible for it all and I wished they would understand that this was the last thing I wanted. How every time they fought I felt more and more like Katherine but only helpless to it.

"What happened this time, or is it better I don't know?" I announced my presence even thought I was certain Stefan was already aware.

"Probably better you don't know." just as I'd thought. I could have insisted on finding out but sometimes they were so damn childish between them to say they were a few decades shy of two centuries old. If they didn't 'secretly' love each other I'm pretty sure they would have killed one other by now.

"Is there a problem? Something happened?" Stefan quizzed snapping me out of my thoughts and brought my eyes back to him from gazing around the room.

It took me a few seconds to recall his words and let them sink in so I could answer. "Oh… no, no, I uh…" So this was the awkward part and it made it all the more difficult that they had fought but I needed to try and clear my conscience to remove these sensations in my gut. "Well I actually came to see Damon. I said a few things last night I didn't mean and I just need to talk to him. Is he in?" I asked, yes I was vague and there was a reason; admitting to the kiss had already caused enough friction so to tell Stefan now Damon openly telling me he loved me last night might be the tip of the iceberg.

There was a questioning brow upon his sharp featured face, I think he was contemplating on asking me what it was all about but decided against it and I noticed his eyes flicker to the stairs and then around the room. "Oh yeah, he's in alright." He seemed to speak as if there was no reason for him not to be and for a moment or two I worried, because I hadn't necessarily thought that the fight could have resulted in more than a few broken bones that could heal in seconds.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing… he's alive if that's what you are worried about or at least I think so from the last thing I heard. He's in his room." There was a strange uneasiness, as if he was talking in some sort of code that only he understood. It used to find it quite cute, now I just didn't have the time or frame of mind of it.

"Thanks. And well, if all is well maybe the three of us should discuss what happened last night with Esther, if Damon is still interested in knowing" The last part was more mumbled as my eyes wavered to the stairs. I feared he'd been pushed one too many times this time, he'd done all he could for me while Stefan was gone. Of course he was a pain in the ass at times but if it hadn't have been for him I'm not quite sure how I would have coped and it was possible I'd taken it all for granted. Taken him for granted and while I was suffocating in him and needed space before I drown, I didn't want him hurt; and not just because he has a habit of being irrational. I knew what it was like to be second best and Damon had had a life time of feeling that way.

I shifted and shimmied around a pile of more scattered porcelain that cluttered the floor at the base of the stairs before I began to climb. I found myself praying that he wasn't in the shower or something I really didn't feel like having to be faced with a repeat of my birthday. It had been… disturbing and disgusting. Okay you got me, so that's a tad extreme and over the top. It just hadn't been something I was expecting to see nor was it… they… him… ugh, you get my point! Just isn't something I should be seeing.

I think somewhere in my subconscious I noted the few piece of discarded material on the ground but I was too busy trying to process what it was I planned to say to Damon when I saw him. He doesn't exactly have the greatest tolerance span and for all I know he could just turn me away. I know I'd done the same a couple of times when he'd been seeking my forgiveness.

I don't know why I was so nervous, I really did try and banish any thoughts of the dream that might pop into my head, I wasn't sure what it was about Damon but it's as if I'm transparent around him. As if he knows things about me that even I don't know. I try to tell myself it's just wishful thinking on his part.

On reaching his bedroom the door had been left ajar but I couldn't hear any noises from inside; least I didn't have to fear walking in on him in the shower as there was no sound of running water. I definitely wasn't about to barge on in there either, so I brought my hand up and gave a light rattle of my knuckles against the solid timber of the door.

"Damon?" I called out but not too loud, I'm sure he would be able to hear me, or apparently not because there was no response. "Damon?" I repeated this time giving the door a little push to widen the gap to give me a better view of the inside and well a view was definitely something I got, just not one I'd been expecting to find. It seemed Damon Salvatore was making the most of his Sunday and taking a lie in.

My feet had a mind of their own and took me several steps into the room. I'd never seen him sleeping before, well least not in this way. Plus him sleeping wasn't exactly at the forefront of my mind and more the fact of learning the attire of which he slept in. Or should I said, lack of attire. There were sheets of course, attending to part of their job - Covering him to a certain extent, but barely.

He lay sleeping on his back, the tangled sheet covering a particular area, but again… barely. There was a fully exposed torso on show, and a prominent 'V' like shape on display that disappeared under the covers. I immediately tore my eyes away, distracted them with anything other than the sculptured form. A particular burning began to spread on up my chest and to my neck and cheeks, leaving a trail of pink to my skin. I wasn't quite sure what I should do, my eyes however, like my feet, had a mind of their own and couldn't be distracted all that long before they glanced back to him but this time they managed to avoid looking at the specific area that made one blush. This time I forced on his face and torso area, again forced myself not to concentrate too much on the torso, to be frank I was in a bit of a daze.

Here is why;

Damon Salvatore sleeps like a baby. He lay there with his arms and hands up by either side of his head, his face angled away from the wall of floor to ceiling windows and French doors and in my direction. His lips were parts ever so slightly, and even thought I was still a few feet away, even from here I could see that he had rather long lashes for a guy. I've seen him hurt before and vulnerable, even if he fights his eyes can't; they were always very telling but here I wasn't even allowed to see his eyes and even thought he was clearly naked the vulnerability was radiating from him in waves. So defenceless and exposed that it was so overwhelming for me to see that it scared me and my fingers itched to pull the covers over him like you would a child so they wouldn't get cold and yet he couldn't exactly get cold could he?

Okay so I restrained myself from doing that but I had to do something. Maybe I should wake him, I'm surprised he hasn't already woken by hearing me but it was quite possible he'd consumed an extensive amount of alcohol the night before so that would explain. Half of me wanted to wake him but I found myself unable to do so, he looked so at peace; it felt selfish to take that away from him. Let's face is peace is hard to come by in this town nowadays. I decided on leaving him to rest. I could speak to him when he wakes, I could just go downstairs and discuss the latest developments with Stefan for the time being.

I backed myself towards the door, trying to be as quiet as possible and halted and froze in place when he began to stir and shifted just ever so slightly. Once again I found myself in a torn position, half wanting him to awaken so we could talk but the other half wanting him to stay sleeping fearing his reaction of finding me here and just lurching about. Well I wasn't lurching but he's Damon, he will assume that is what I'm doing.

So when he didn't wake up I was hit with a wash of both relief and disappointment, but I resumed to reversing myself towards the door but with my lack of eyes in the back of my head a light gasp past my lips when I came into contact with something looming behind me and I just knew I hadn't moved far enough for it to be the wall. Of course the first explanation that settled into my brain was that it was Stefan and that gave me a feeling of dread. I wasn't sure what was worse, Damon waking and knowing I'd been lurching or that Stefan had possible been standing behind me for quite a while and seen that I'd just been stood there for several minutes eyeing his naked brother. Okay so the latter was worse, it seems they'd already had one fight; I really didn't want to be the cause of another. That is of course if Stefan even cared, it was hard to tell at the present time. But also I really didn't want to have to find out.

I was about to turn around to meet the person in which I'd bumped into face to face, of course expecting Stefan. I was in for a shock when a voice sent an unpleasant shiver down my spine. "Don't worry you won't wake him… he's really exhausted" The first hint that it wasn't Stefan was that the voice belonged to a female and then it sunk in that the voice was familiar.

I spun around on my heels and no my ears hadn't been deceiving me it really was her - Rebekah. Part of me was confused as to why she was here, but I was a fool for being confused because as my eyes glance over her there was no knitting between my brow, just my eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets as she just stood there, smug look on her face and wearing nothing but a white shirt with half the buttons apparently workshy.

It was taking me a few moments for everything to click into place as to what had happened. Maybe I was in denial, but I took a step back and my eyes glanced over my shoulder at Damon's sleeping and undressed form and then back to the blonde original who stood there in her own state of undress and a feeling of trepidation soak into my bones as I pieces two and two together. Now that explained his inability to answer his phone last night, too busy making late night booty calls of his own apparently. Just that thought alone left a putrid taste in my mouth and an alarming knotting and almost stabbing sensation to the gut.

There were flashing images swamping in my mind; recalling the agony in his eyes when I said what I did, the rage when he was attacking Kol, then walking into the house this morning to find it in the state I did and assumed it had been a result of a fight, the pieces of material littering the floor on my way up here. It hadn't been a fight, and definitely not one between Stefan and Damon, but an act of… God I felt physically sick. The bile burned in my oesophagus.

My hand travelled to my stomach and sat on it as if hoping to settle the churning. "Oh wow look at that. You look upset Elena, is there something wrong?" Rebekah's head was tilted to the side, performing an act of concern. My eyes flashed from her back to Damon who still slept. I couldn't put my finger on why I felt the way I did, why it hurt so much.

Moments ago I stood here staring at him thinking how peaceful and innocent he looked, now all I could see was her, my brain going against me and picturing what might have happened as they were… together. Her hands on him and there was a growing lump in my throat. I couldn't bare the thoughts, and the feelings that infested into my mind, body and my heart were so present and overpowering that wondering why I felt the way I did was impossible.

"Nice view isn't it? You know now we can get together and maybe paint our nails while I tell you all the details. Since I'm in a position to compare now between them and all" God she was so smug and I wanted to wipe it from her face, but of course I couldn't but with the anger pulsing through my veins right now I could give it a good try.

"There isn't much comparison to be honest. I mean of course my heart still belongs to Stefan but Damon definitely has his own… streak of appeal and he is surprisingly considerate, definitely wanted to make sure my lack of… intimacy for the last near century was made up for" She whispered in my ear, and smirked.

I'd had enough, and definitely heard enough but instead of rushing and leaving the room my eyes narrowed at her. "Oh he wasn't being considerate, Rebekah. He was just using you. That's what Damon does - Especially when he can't have what he really wants." I hissed, and I was so infuriated that the shock of my own words didn't even process in my mind. It seems she had pushed me one stepped too far and I had no control over my mouth. "And believe me you aren't what he wants, let's face it you aren't what anyone wants, you are just a whiny spoiled brat, a convenience that quickly becomes an inconvenience. Even your own brother couldn't bear to have you around any longer and put a dagger in your heart and don't get me started on Mikael. Hunted you down for centuries so he could kill you and the rest of your pathetic family" Yes I think it's clear to say my mind was a bit of a haze, I mean the girl could snap my neck in the blink of an eye, but her and just everything might have just toppled me over the edge.

She laughed. "You know Elena… since the moment I met you I've had this longing. A longing to do this…" and before her word could even resister in my brain; my head I felt like I was being impaled by a bulldozer that sent me flying off my feet, and my eyes were gripped shut that I had no idea how far I'd been catapulted across the room all I knew was that I was colliding with something hard and the other side of my head now felt as if it had been run over by a bus and my whole body tensed as I waiting for crumble to the ground but before I could I was being grabbed and a cry of pain ignited from my mouth as I felt teeth puncturing the flesh of my neck.

It happened in a blur, the teeth were being torn from my skin and my body crashed to the floor before feeling someone there, and over the pounding of my head I could hear more crashing around and things smashing but I couldn't feel myself being thrown around.

"Elena? Can you hear me?" My brain wouldn't function to tell me whose voice it was I was hearing but I was positive it wasn't Rebekah's.

"Is this how you always treat the girl the morning after?" Now that was Rebekah's voice, but it was distant and laboured and was followed by another shattering collision, the sound sending another spark of pain through my head, a head that felt as if it was being cradled by someone's hands.

"Elena?" The same concerned voice.

"Leave before I make using your brother's head as a punch bag, last night, seem like a head massage in comparison." A new voice was being thrown into the mix and everything was all so confusing but I managed to open my eyes and regain enough motivation to push myself up into a sitting position.

"Steady… you might have concussion" My eyes managed to focus and follow the voice to see that it had been Stefan by my side, and asking if I was okay.

"I'm fine" I groaned, bringing my hand up to my head hoping to ease the throbbing, the neck wound was a pain I'd become used to so made it bearable.

"Oh what a shame, well I suppose I'll have to do a better job next time" I looked up to see Rebekah standing smirking on the other side of the room, and my eyes roamed around to see yet more items of furniture in pieces and then a half dressed man, wrapping a sheet around his waist and taking a step towards the particular girl. Realization that the man was actually Damon and recollection of why Rebekah was here in the first place along with the pain in my head brought the sickening feeling back to my attention.

"If you care about that face of yours I wouldn't make threats, now leave!" Why was he telling her to leave? Few hours ago that was probably the last thing he had wanted.

"Oh don't worry I am, I don't see anything around here worth hanging around for. I'm going to keep the shirt though, you didn't exactly leave my clothes in a state of being able to be worn" I wished I was stronger, I wished I could throw her across the room like she had me, that I could remove that pathetic self-righteous look from her face and the stick from her ass. For a split second I found myself wishing for the first time I could be a vampire so I could stand at least a change of inflicting some sort of pain on her but as soon as the thought entered my mind it disappeared because as I said… she was pathetic and pitiful.

She was leaving and I took the opportunity to try and climb to my feet. "Elena, you probably shouldn't…" Again Stefan was fussing and I snapped my head in his direction and glared, snapping my arm back from out of his grasp.

"Get off of me" I hissed. I didn't want either of them near me, Stefan let me come up here; he wanted me to see what I saw, he as good as sent me up here. I scuttled away as far away from the both of them and climbed to my feet.

"Well I don't think I've ever woken up to find two girls fighting over me. I have to say it makes a change, it's usually the two of us fighting." Damon was snickering and eyeing his brother. Sometimes he can be funny, other times exasperating; this time it was the latter.

"Arrogant bastard" I blurted as I found my feet and looked up from the ground and caught his surprised eye. He seemed to give me a glance up and down his eyes hesitating for a moment or two on my neck and I thought maybe he was about to show some sort of concern but instead his stance seem to change and he gave a bored shrug of his stripped shoulders.

"You know Elena; you really need to realize what it's really like to be around vampires and how you shouldn't piss one off. We have tendencies to bite back"

"Yeah I'm beginning to see that… along the side of them being heartless assholes" I would not cry, honestly I was too angry to. I tucked a piece of hair out of my face and straightened myself out. I was worried about the trickling blood from my neck because Stefan seemed to now be keeping his distance. Whether that was because I'd snapped at him or because of the blood I wasn't sure but I really didn't plan on sitting around to find out.

I took one step forward and then another using all my strength to keep my legs from caving from beneath me. I did find myself halting as I passed Damon, and I let my eyes flicker to him. I tried to keep my gaze as flat and emotionless as possible and if I was going to demonstrate any emotion it would be anger or disgust but I felt scared and hurt in all honesty. Not scared of him, just stared of what he was doing to me.

"Thank you, Damon." I saw his eyebrow rise in silent question, as a tight smile formed on my face. "You know…" I paused to swallow a lump in my throat. "I came here to apologize because… I realized you've been the only one I've had recently to count on and you have been there when I've needed you. And I thought it was because you wanted to protect me, but it hasn't has it?" I laughed humourlessly and shook my head. "You balls up Damon, I actually believed there was something good about you. Someone worthy of being loved, but you aren't…" I looked him up and down and now I did manage to look in disgust and my mind was apparently clouded with pain, confusion and all the other negative emotions one could feel in a situation because deep down I knew I shouldn't be saying these things but if it hadn't of been her maybe I wouldn't be, but because it was it had planted things in the forefront of my brain.

"I'm beginning to doubt your ability to love at all because now I see things clearly. Your life mission is just to have your brothers' sloppy seconds. Well you failed Damon; you will never have the complete package because you have just lost any chance of having me." I didn't even recognize my own voice and I'm sure if I was him staring back at me I wouldn't be able to identify myself. Damon's eyes stared at me hard and I noted a flash now and again of different emotions but he fought it. Of course he did, he wouldn't want to seem the weak one here, or like my words were affecting me. In that moment maybe I was more like Katherine than I wanted to admit but I didn't care. "Stay away from me." I warned him and then looked over my shoulder to Stefan who just stood there pathetically "Both of you." And with strength and a hell of a lot of determination I freed myself of the room, having no desire to look back. With the bump to the head, everything I'd seen, the pain… in that moment all the factors combined I wanted to be done with the Salvatore brothers.

When I got out to my car and was able to breathe some fresh air was a different story. In the sanctuary of my car my walls were allowed to crumble, I cleaned at my neck while sniffling and a silent tear or two escape the confinements of my eye ducts. I couldn't hang around feeling sorry for myself, nursing internal wounds. There was only one way to be free of pain, free of conflict, to be free of this whole mess and that was Esther. She needed to get the ball rolling on killing Klaus and the rest of them, at this moment in time I didn't even care that Elijah would have to die alongside the rest of them. Maybe it was for the best. He'd lived for over a thousand years and maybe he wasn't as evil as Klaus and might be a really nice chap but there have been the most amazing of people; my parents for example and they barely lived to see forty, and Jenna and everyone else who had had their lives ended so shortly because of a mother who couldn't tolerate to see herself lose another child. But now she understood what she had created and wanted to set it right and I would do my part to help, however significant it may be.

I wiped my eyes, and leaned over to open the glove compartment to retrieve a scarf I'd left lying around from the last time my neck was used as a chew toy. After the wound was as clean as I could manage without any real aid I wrapped the scarf around my neck and tied it, concealing my latest bite mark.

I began my journey home; I wasn't sure where I would go from there. I may seek out advice from Caroline and Bonnie; maybe they would have a helping hand for me. I didn't always need Damon and Stefan, a lot of the time they had been wrong in their plans and they had failed so no maybe their input wasn't necessary; never mind essential.

Their intentions weren't for anything other than pride and there stupid, idiotic egos. Stefan just wanted to kill Klaus so he could wear the crown. Damon wanted him dead so he was one step closer to being the biggest baddest vampire around. Pathetic - the both of them.

So why was it that I had tears trickling down my tender cheek? Why was it that I'd been hoping for a reaction from Damon? Why is it that Stefan had just stood there? So many questions and no ability to answer them. Of course I didn't necessarily believe what I had said back at the house; unfortunately people have different ways of coping when they are hurt or angry. Stefan turns into a ripper, Damon kills someone or jumps into bed with the first willing and I, well I run my mouth off because my mouth is the only thing I have to be able to lash out with. Of course I didn't find pleasure by inflicting pain, I wasn't a monster but maybe back at the house I had… wanted to hurt him. I'd just wanted him to feel a piece of the pain he had imposed on me. I was well aware of the sort of person that made me and I'm positive that when I have had the time to calm down I will be disgusted in myself but I suppose humans can have inner demons of their own.

I just drove in a complete trance, my mind and body disconnected and how I managed to travel the distance I had already I wasn't quite sure how and had no recollection of doing so. I only became aware I was sitting behind the wheel of my car when I was drawn back to the present but not due to snapping myself out of it but instead by fright. Fright that there were a set of eyes that were not my own glaring at me through the rear-view mirror, reflecting the figure that prowled in the back seat.

A gasp breached my mouth and ruptured the air that surrounded me. "Surprise" The feminine voice penetrated my ears. "Now where were we?" Before I could let the word sink into my skull or act in a way to defend myself the blonde was throwing her arm around my throat, pinning me back to the seat and cutting me off from any much needed air my lungs unsurprisingly craved.

I struggled and fought with her in her vice grip, I tried to scream hoping by some miracle someone would hear me, and finally I tried speeding up the car, hoping I could slam my breaks on and send her launching from the back to the front and hopefully out the window screen like I'd seen in many action movies and well it was the only thing that was able to enter my mind and I was still struggling but I was about to slam my breaks but my capability to steer and see was becoming increasingly none existent and when it came to slamming my breaks on it came out of additional fear as my Jeep tore off the road and down a the ditch at the side of the road and I was hoping my breaks would stop or this would momentarily distract Rebekah but I was writhing with the lack of oxygen to my lung and my tires seemed to hand no grip and the only distraction came was when the front of my Ford Escape went flying headfirst into a tree and launched both of us forward, causing her arm to loosen from around my neck but at the wrong time because with the freedom I had hoped to somehow get away but it made matters worse as I was being thrown forward, my head bashing right into the steering wheel and I had no other choice… everything faded to black.

DPOV

"So you're just going to go off to the council meeting when we have the plan with Esther to figure out and to sort things out with Elena?" I halted from taking a swig of my bourbon, that name was the last night I wanted to hear right now. She'd made herself exceptionally clear on what she wanted from us, or more so me, made it clear how she felt too.

"Sort things out with Elena? That is your department little brother. Speaking of which" I turned around to face him, light frown lines appearing on my forehead. "Why is it that she not only had daggers for me? She seemed terribly determined not to be near either of us." I tilted my head to the side expecting an answer, and when he angled his head downwards I was aware that he had definitely done something, it just the what I wasn't I didn't know and have to say I was intrigued. "Come on Stefan… What did the saint do this time?"

He lifted his head but just looked off into space, oh this wasn't good. "I…" He began and drew his eyes back in my direction. "I might have… told her she would find you in your bedroom when she asked where you were" He admitted and at first I wondered what was so terrible about that but then it sunk in. He'd known Rebekah had been here, he knew if Elena came upstairs she would find what she did and he knew it would piss her off and possible hate me. I stared at him, oh I could have easily snapped his neck for it or mopped the floor with him and maybe some part of him either expected it or wanted me to. It seems he'd loved any chance for us to have a scrap lately, because he was angry with me and he must be angry with her too to want her to be hurt like she was. So yes it would have been easy to pounce on him but instead I just stood there, and because I was attempting to not care I shrugged.

"Well, well… playing dirty now are we? Well no point little brother, she's all yours." I knocked back the remaining content of the glass. "Go make it up to her, sweep her off her feet she'll soon forgive you" There was no doubt in my mind that he would try and do that, especially now, well I say go for it and good luck to him. Of course deep down I was aware I was in denial and the thought of them hooking back up and being all lovey dovey didn't exactly sit comfortable with me but I was convincing myself I was done with caring. After what she said last night and then this morning I was surprised I hadn't snapped her neck. I believe the reason I hadn't was because I'd spent so much time keeping her alive by stressing and getting my ass kicked it would have all been a waste of time now if to just throw it all away. Well at least that was the excuse I was feeding myself for not killing her.

"You're upset; you're closing yourself off so you won't feel anything and that is why you did what you did, a way to lash out. She didn't mean what she said she was just hurt." Stefan tried to reassure me and boy I couldn't help snorting at that.

"Hypocrite much?" I raised an eyebrow because he had obviously turned off his emotion quite recently. "And actually it had nothing to do with lashing out, what can I say little brother? You have good taste in women and Elena was right; I just enjoy your sloppy seconds." I fought the urge to roll my eyes and instead just turned to pour myself another drink.

"So what you're going to turn your back on it all because things didn't go your way?" He assumed that was what I was doing and of course he did because whatever some might think, Stefan didn't get the brains of the family. I opened up the chest that sat by the crystal bottles of liquor, and retrieved the two objects in its content.

"No little brother, I'm going to give the new member of the council a warm welcome" I smirked and turned around, twisting the intricately decorated dagger in my hand, the bottle of white ash in the other. He has already informed me of the little conversation between Elena and Mommy witch original and of course Elijah's suspicions and possible interference and I couldn't allow him to try and put a stop to the plan. Klaus would die, all of them will and good riddens I say.

"Elijah? You want to dagger him? But you only just took it out" Okay so my brother was proving more and more that there wasn't much more than straw in that head of his… I resisted the urge to sing 'If only I had a brain'.

"Well yes, so it's only seem right that I be the one to reunite them" Uncorking the bottle I dipped the tip of the blade into the ash to form a coating on the nib.

"You think it will work?"

"My plans would always work, Stefan. It's just sometimes they fail because other people get in the way" I gave him as look as if he should know exactly who and what I meant by that. Let's face it Klaus would already be dead if it weren't for him but of course he needed to play the hero by saving my life. Well it's about time he stopped doing that.

I left the house after that, not another word spoken.

::

"Elijah, always a pleasure" I held out my hand. "Just wanted to say from all of us on the council how it's a delight you've decided to join us" Oh of course I was being sarcastic and he knew it but he seemed to be finding amusement.

"Damon." He nodded his head in greeting but took one look at my hand and decided on ignoring it. And he's supposed to be the gentleman of the litter. "What can I say, Mystic falls just has a sense of home and I want to make sure it stays that way. I feel settled here, it's taken a long time so I'm sure you can understand I'm willing to do my upmost to make sure it isn't taken away or ruined" There was a smile on his face but it was threatening in the most politest of ways. He was trying to be manipulative because it was obvious he knew exact what was going on with his mommy dearest.

"That's actually something I want to talk to you about" I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and while he was briefly preoccupied to eyeing my hand on his shoulder I looked to Alaric who was standing on the other side of the room waiting and I nodded to him to tell him the plan had the go ahead. I then quickly looked back to Elijah and smiled. "But I think it be best kept between the two of us, how about we take a walk?" I dropped my arm and waved it towards the door as if to say for him to go first.

He eyed me for a second or two. "I think that would be wise, there seems to be a new development I think you should be aware of" I was only half listening to be frank; his new development no doubt would be something completely irrelevant or some bargaining tool.

We left the Lockwood house and began walking the grounds, I did my best not to look suspicious or look over my shoulder to see where Alaric was. He wouldn't be here just yet anyways.

"I must say you really were intrepid or either eager to get yourself killed with the stunt you pulled last night. My brother Kol, well he's much like Klaus, doesn't have the best temperament and I'm sure you know he isn't best pleased with the embarrassment you caused him last night" Oh another original out for me head, what a surprise? "Kol might be known for his wrath and arrogance but lucky for you he's limited when forging a plan and incredibly predictable. I'll see to it he won't be a problem for you"

A tight smile formed on my face "I would say thank you but I'm sure there is an alternative motive since I'm quite positive you want me dead" Let's that was the impression I got from the little dinner party we attended a few nights ago. Of course he had turned against his brother and being an aid to us when it came to the face off but away from that I still got the feeling he didn't care if whether I nor my brother lived or died.

"See its statements like that that confuse me. Of course we didn't get off to the greatest start but I thought we had come to a truce" We had stopped now and he was looking down at his wrists, pulling the sleeves of his shirt from under his jacket.

"What can I say, I just don't have much trust for any of your family; it's nothing personal."

A silent chuckle vibrated at his chest and he lifted an eyebrow "I wouldn't let Rebekah know that. She has a terrible habit of getting attached to the first person who shows her the blindest bit of attention. And I have a feeling you aren't exactly attached to her nor have the best of intentions… actually I'm sure you have no intentions at all." He apparently knew of last night's encounters between his sister and I.

"If this is your way of being the over-protective big brother and warning me if I hurt her you're going to kill me you're a bit late and it's a waste of time… we won't be spending any more time together"

He was laughing and I had to wonder why. "Oh Damon, please I am really not the kind." Sometimes it annoyed me that he was so smooth and completely unfazed by everything, it made it hard to find a weak spot. "Rebekah will do as she wants, but it's not I who you need to worry about. I probably wouldn't mention anything to Niklaus; I hear Rebekah's last encounter with a Salvatore brother didn't end well." He looked sideways in my direction and then back off to the lake before us, apparently he was admiring the view. Out the corner of my eye, in the distance I saw Alaric.

"So if this isn't about Rebekah, what is it about?" I probed, keeping him talking for as long as possible so Alaric could make his move.

"Elena's little blonde vampire friend. I don't recall her name… The sheriff's Daughter."

I couldn't help but frown, "Caroline?" Why on earth would she have anything to do this or be of importance to him?

"Ah yes, Sweet Caroline." He mused to himself, I on the other hand still oblivious. "It would seem she had a particular admirer"

What is he getting at here? What is it with originals and taking in freaking riddles and beating around the bush? "If this is about Tyler or Matt you are wasting your time finding any importance; Tyler is MIA and Matt is no use than an ornament"

"I said admirer, not ex-lovers"

Okay Alaric hurry up this fool is boring me now. "So who would we be talking about?" I quizzed, pretending to be interested.

"Niklaus of course" Okay so a few seconds ago I had no care for Caroline's love life, now of course was a different story. "He seems to have taken a really liking to the girl. I know I myself was surprised and that isn't a common occurrence. I do have to wonder if his attentiveness for the girl is authentic or just another plan of my brother's but either way… I believe we have found a weak link."

Before this morning I would have taken real interest in this piece of news but the thing was I didn't care because we had more than a weak link, we as good has had a Klaus strapped in the electric chair, we just had to wait for the power to come on. So whatever he was thinking with Caroline he could go right ahead because it would be a waste. And of course, it will keep him occupied for a while.

"I thought you were one big happy family again and you would have had a change of heart."

"Please Damon, don't insult my intelligence. Miss Gilbert already did that last night and it didn't work then either" He looked at me and again I got the clear impression he knew much more of Esther's plan than he was letting on. I was about to ask of what he knew and his mouth seemed to open to speak but his words temporarily seized in his throat, as he suffered a momentarily lapse in his legs why the sensation of an arrow being blasted and penetrating into his back. Of course the Alaric had only maimed him for a second or two but it was enough for him to spin around to see where in fact the arrow had come from. Alaric stood there crossbow in hand, but I already knew this without looking, I didn't need to look I had something else to be doing.

The wooden stake fell from where it had been tucked up my sleeve and right into my awaiting hand. "If you are planning something I would reconcid…" I didn't give him the opportunity to finish because I took my window of opportunity and sliced the stake through the air, stabbing him in the back, right into the crevasse of his shoulder blade and puncturing right into his heart sending him rigid where he stood.

The stake would only keep him out of it for a moment or two but enough time for Alaric to come and drive the dagger into his heart. The wood began to drain every last ounce of life from him, starting at his toes and spreading rapidly but he still managed to channel the last of his energy to gasp and croak out three final words "Rebekah… has… Elen…" okay so he didn't managed to finish but he didn't need to I knew exactly what he was saying the only problem was that I couldn't fucking ask him to elaborate because he was as dead or partially and now falling flat on his face to the ground.

What was he saying? I mean he didn't get chance to finish, he might not have been saying Rebekah has Elena, he could have been saying Rebekah has Elena's eyelash curler for all I freaking know. But the problem is which out of the two of those is more likely to be really? Yeah, I'm not really liking the odds on this one.

"Well that seemed easy enough" Ric's voice tried to interrupt my thoughts but failed. But he made quick work of daggering him in the back beside the stake.

Was he lying? Why wouldn't he have said sooner? Why would hadn't he freaking said sooner? And of course why would he have been here at a goddamn council meeting when he knew his psychotic bitch of a sister had Elena? So many questions but only a lifeless and unresponsive daggered original can answer. He did this on purpose, he knew I was up to something and he knew I would have to take the dagger out of him again to gain answers. Of course he could have just been lying so I had to awaken him again.

Fuck!

"I thought you said an original couldn't be killed" There was a woman's voice polluting the air as I wrapped my hand around the arrow and stake that stood tall from where it was embedded in Elijah's back. I yanked it out and tossed them and disturbed the relaxed calm water of the lake.

"Why the hell is she here?" I snapped looking up to see Meredith standing there, trying to get a good look at Elijah. "Actually don't answer that. Just call Elena…" I demanded of him, before walking around Elijah's collapsed form, wondering what the hell I should do.

"What going on?" Alaric asked.

"Just call her!" I'm surrounded by morons. I would call her myself but if she was able to answer she wouldn't so they didn't exactly help now did it?

I tried to distract myself from listening to the sound of the Alaric calling Elena or the never ending ringing my enhanced hearing would allow me to make out. For the moment I was just hoping Elijah was being a lying bastard because in all honesty I think it's pretty obvious that I don't want it to be true.

Unfortunately nothing in Mystic Falls, or life in general was ever that simple. Especially not when just after Alaric had hung up when the phone went to voicemail my own phone rang and it was my brother. He was calling me in a state of worry because he has just come across Elena's car wrapped around a tree with Elena nowhere to be found.

Earlier this morning I told myself I wouldn't allow to be put in this position again, a position where I felt that sunken feeling in my stomach, the dread of the possibility that she was out there somewhere being hurt and every fibre of my body bringing forth that protective side of me that went against all of my predatory instincts. I was supposed to be the one doing the hunting and hurting, which is what a blood thirsty vampire thrives for. The kill, the pleasure in the kill, the fight, the chase; making sure the blood is bumping violently around the body so artery in the ravine of your neck is pulsing and enflamed making it so much ease to sink your teeth into. That is what it is like when you flip the switch, when you say no to humanity and when you just let this… monster that is coursing through your veins takes over. I spent a long time saying no to humanity, only allowing myself to really feel when devoting my time to saving Katherine and even that felt like a freaking farce now.

Then I come to Mystic Falls and I meet her and she brings this person out of me that I hadn't been for such a long time and I lose my power to not care for anything other than myself. I'd even risked my life multiple times for hers, she'd taken away that selfish part of me I'd once clung to and relied on. If I was selfish and didn't care, I couldn't feel. If I couldn't feel, I couldn't love. If I couldn't love, I couldn't hurt. And recently, all I've done is hurt and it was draining and I wanted it to stop. But it couldn't stop when all I can ever think about is how I love her. It would be so much easier if I didn't, but you can't dwell on that because I did, so this would be what you refer to as fucked.

I used to think that switch was easier to find and flick on or off. I used to think that saying no to humanity was simple and was the way to live life but now I know it wasn't. For a long time I tried to be the man she wanted me to be, the man I needed to be to have a chance with her. I thought maybe I'd found and become that man, but the truth was I'd always been him but he had been buried. I was not who she made me, I was who I was and maybe she might have helped dig him out but she certainly didn't create him. And you know however much it sometimes hurt that I can't have what I want and because sometimes everything is against me I get on with it and maybe I fuck up at times but who doesn't? Truth is yes it would be easier to turn it all off, but in all honesty… I don't want to. And not just because of her.

But she still was the main reason, however much I try to convince myself otherwise. She may have hurt me and pissed me off but you know what surprise surprise I'm not about to let her get hurt or killed because I can't get my own way.

Stefan was already at Bonnie's having her do a locator spell but with no blood relations around it was difficult and Bonnie had to do research. To be honest I didn't have the time or the patience to wait around. So I had two opinions, I wander aimlessly around hoping I by some miraculous chance I find her or I go against the plan. Thing is the core reason we want Klaus dead is because of the danger he poses on Elena and how he wants to use to him she is just a blood bag. If Elena is dead my time, energy and dedication into killing Klaus isn't going to be the same, it would be more invested in getting Rebekah's head on a plate. So for now the plan went out of the window and before Alaric could stop me I pulled the dagger from Elijah's back and waited...

::

"I have to wonder did your stupidity exist before your love for Elena or did it did it come with your love?" Elijah questioned me as we trampled our way through the woods. After he finally woke up has always he was smooth and didn't convey a great deal of annoyance but I think that's why he could be so intimidated because you never knew if he was capable of snapping. Well I was taking my chances.

"A long time before Elena, but I'm sure you've already been informed of the story" I'm really not in the mood for chitchat.

"Ah yes, Katerina. Yes it is quite the story, one that seems to repeat itself quite often. Excuse my prurience but I can't help being intrigued by the story. Did you feel for Elena because of her similarities to Katerina?" He pried.

I couldn't help snorting, "Did you love Katherine for her similarities to Tatia?" Well we can all pry can't we? Even if the answer isn't of particular interest.

I think my question quite surprised him. For a guy who likes to brag he isn't surprised all that often he seems very much all mouth at the moment. He even tried to behave like he had no idea what I was talking about and boy I had to laugh. "Things you should know about history repeating itself, you aren't the only one who had been there."

"Oh so you do want Elena because she is like Katerina." He avoided the question and instead gained the statement from what I just said.

"If you spent more than five minute with Elena you would know she is nothing like Katherine"

"Ah, but you did not know Katerina when she was human. You would be quite surprised at the parallels between the two" yeah he was right I didn't know Katherine when she was human but I'd heard the stories, there was no comparison.

"Katherine turned herself into a vampire because she was weak and unwilling to fight for her humanity"

"Yes but Katerina didn't have two vampires devoted to keeping her alive now did she?" He pointed out and I stopped and looked to him, was he real?

"Seriously, I don't know what you are trying to prove but I didn't know Katherine when she was human and quite frankly I don't want to and if I never see that woman again it would be too soon. But if this is some weird fascination for you trying to link Elena with Katherine and Tatia in order to regain what you once lost; I wouldn't even think about it. Elena is not Katherine nor this Tatia, so we are not even having this conversation. I just wanna find her because if your sister has hurt her, or worse I will drive a dagger threw her heart, and then I was find a way of possessing the rest of the daggers and I will do the same to ever one of your family and leave you till last so you could see me decapitate each of them and drop them into the Pacific but keep your heads mounted on my mantel piece" I really don't think he wanted to test when my threats were real, right now I wasn't have the greatest day and I was looking for any excuse to let rip. I was sick of these Original's they seemed to be able to talk the talk but very rarely did they walk the walk.

He just looked at me rather amused and maybe he was even impressed but to be honest I couldn't give a fiddlers fuck. He didn't reply to my threats, I didn't want to instead he just nodded over my shoulder, "A hundred yards that way" He was nodded to yet another cluster of trees but in the southwest direction. "There is a cave, she is alive but I am sure Rebekah is getting impatient so you might want to hurry" He advised, and well I took it and just took off into a run. "But are you willing to kill Elena in order to kill Klaus?" I'd probably only travelled a quarter of the way when Elijah's voice echoed in my ears and caused my feet to freeze on the spot.

At first I wasn't sure to what he was talking about and that is why I spun on my feet and ask. I knew I didn't have time to waste with Elena's present situation but I couldn't just not let him explain what he had just said.

"What are you talking about?" If he is stalling me for some reason I will go ape shit.

"Oh… why am I not surprised?" He brushed invisible debris from his shoulder, before sighing heavily and looking at me. "You really thought it was that simple? That my mother would perform a little spell and Niklaus, I and the rest of my siblings will die?" He rose an expectant eyebrow, and again with beating around the bush. "Yes, I know of the plan. I am not quite as gullible as my siblings to fall for my mother's forgiveness and happiness of having her family reunited. Plus Elena's blood is quite a remarkable distinct taste and scent" I wasn't aware of all the ins and outs of how Esther managed to bind them all together I just know she had and with Elena's blood.

"What's your point?" I urged him on my impatience really beginning to show.

"The ritual my mother plans to perform, does need to bind my family together to succeed in killing us, but it is not only us it will kill." He tilted his head to the side. "My mother plans to reverse all that she created. She did not only turn my brothers, sister and I into a vampire, she lead to the creation of the whole vampire species. She isn't just trying to destroy her children; she plans to extinguish the whole entire race of vampires."

Say what? No, no that wasn't possible, he was just trying to get my on his side, prevent me from staking him again.

"Nah" I laughed humourlessly and shook my head. "Good try but you have me confused with my brother, I don't fall for bullshit" I offered a tight sarcastic smile and then turned ready to get Elena as far away from Rebekah as possible.

"Well don't say I didn't warn you. But by the time you realize I'm telling the truth, it'll be too late because you'll all be dead… oh… and Elena too." For the second time today I stopped still where I stood, he really was clutching at straws.

"Elena isn't a vampire"

"When my mother turned us into vampires, she also created the doppelganger; Elena is the key to this whole ordeal. I spent half a millennium searching for ways to kill Niklaus; of course I knew exactly what my mother was planning. Why do you think apart from reunited my family I wanted the coffins?" I had not looked over my shoulder, but I could hear him load and clear.

"But Klaus got you to betray us and save his ass by promising to take you to your family. If Klaus was dead your mother wouldn't need to do the ritual would she?"

"Oh you misunderstand my mother, she does not only want Niklaus dead… she wants to destroy us all. You made a big mistake when you opened that coffin; if you think Klaus is powerful? That he is a danger to your life and the lives of the ones you love… well he has nothing on my mother" His voice and words had me frozen because however much I didn't want to think he was being truthful, I had a sudden shiver down my spine and a feeling of dread settling into the pit of my stomach.

I was torn, torn between it being the truth or a lie, and then of course I was hanging around here while I should be with Elena. My head was spinning and a million and one questions formed in my mind and mouth but when I turned to ask just the one: 'if it's true how do we stop her?' but of course… he was gone.

::

EPOV

I tried my best just to focus my attention on the road ahead, watching as we drove past house after house. It was now night time, from the digital clock on the dashboard it was saying it was just after seven at time, it felt so much later. I might have drifted off to sleep if I wasn't so busy looking out the window, seeing a few families clustered in their front rooms enjoying simply family time. Driving by in the car only made it a quick glance, just like much in my life. I can see and have something one minute and it gone the next.

I lifted my hand up and as quickly and discreetly brushed the stray tear from my cheek. "What did I do?" I thought allowed, not really aware that I've voiced my thoughts; I continued to stare out the window but I could sense a pair of eyes on me.

"You don't have to do anything wrong. Sometimes life just sucks and it's not Karma" I no longer felt his eyes on me but it was obviously replaced with his words and I swallowed hard and managed to lift my head from where it rested on the glass. It felt extremely heavy and did hurt from the multiple injuries it had sustained.

My eyes fell on him as he sat driving in the driver's seat. "Do you ever wish… you hadn't come back to town? Or that Katherine never came to Mystic Falls in 1864?" I questioned, my head finding a slight sense of ease against the headrest.

He did not remove his eyes from the road but from where I sat I could see from his expression he was thinking, but it didn't seem to last long. "I've learnt not to dwell on what could have been and if things had been different. They aren't, and this is life now… unfortunately for us it's all about surviving not necessarily living but hopefully one day it'll all pay off and we can all ride off into the sunset." He spoke but laughed sombrely, obviously being sarcastic.

"You could leave, nobody is after you. You could be free, free of Klaus and all the mayhem, free of this place… and the people in it" I looked at him out the corner of my eye to try and judge his reaction.

"Sound eager to get rid of me. Shouldn't be surprised after this morning" I became a bit more alert.

"No… I didn't… I didn't mean that" I shook my head, and tried to stress that that wasn't what I wanted. Whatever happened this morning yes I was still hurt and I angry in ways but I didn't want him to leave. The thought actually frightened me. The protest I'd conveyed with shaking my head quite frantically had sent me dizzy and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes willing the light-headedness to go away as well as the pounding. I placed my hand to my head and returned to looking out the window, I don't want to seem like a drama queen and have any fussing. Not that he would fuss he's not as much as looked at me since he found me. I hated it in all honesty and I did want to put it right but he still hurt me too, and bizarrely with each time he refuses to look at me it all feels like another punch in the gut. Of course it scared me because there might be underlining feelings there but it doesn't just have to be romantic. Even if he is a pain in the ass he has become as good as a best friend.

"Drink!" His voice prickled my ears and I popped my eyes open to see what he meant and my vision cleared to see he was holding his arm out to me. His sleeve was rolled up and revealing his wrist, blood oozing from the broken flesh where he had bit himself. I knew exactly what he was getting at.

"I'm fine" I spoke but my eyes were fixated on wound. I wasn't the best person with blood but I was fascinated in watching the bite mark begin to heal miraculously.

"No Elena you aren't, you have a gash on your head. You've been in a car accident, thrown across a wall, and bitten. Just drink the damn thing before it heals. You drink it willingly or I force you" My eyes flickered in his direction to wonder if he is being serious, but I know not to test him; he had made me drink his blood before but never with the intent of healing me.

He was drawing his wrist closer to my mouth as if to say don't push him, and people say that I'm the stubborn one. I groaned a little bit, because of the situation and also because of the dizziness in my head. But truth was the main source of my pain couldn't be healed with vampire blood, but we not go into that shall we?

I gave in and just went with it and drew his wrist to my mouth and parted my lips and wrapped them around the wound and began sucking, the blood entering my mouth almost instantly and trickled down my throat. I scrunched my eyes together to help focus on anything but the taste but in all honesty it didn't taste as bad as I had expected, there was a tinny taste to it but other than that I can say I've tasted worse things. I'm not going to make this a habit of course; its bearable doesn't mean I'm going to be sitting at night wondering what I fancy for dinner and Damon's wrist popping into my head.

There weren't any huge sensations but I could definitely feel a build-up of energy pulsing through my veins like I'd just drank the strongest coffee in the world.

"Elena?" I keep suckling. "Elena, it's healed." I was a little out of it "Oh… well she won't kiss me on the lips but she'll make out with my wrist." As soon as Damon's words settled into my mind, it dawned on me that there was no longer any sensation of blood seeping into my mouth and I stopped and detached my mouth before glancing down to see he was right; it had healed.

I pushed his arm away like it was the plague or something when it soaked into my brain all he had said. How could he say that?

"I was just joking"

My eyes snapped in his direction as he replaced his hand to the wheel. "Oh so you can manage to make jokes about things like that but can't even bring yourself to look at me?" I spat, feeling a new build-up of annoyance settling into my bones. For a moment I watched as his jaw tightened, but yet eyes firmly fixed to the road. I laughed in irritation. "Why did you even bother? Let's face it I've been nothing but an inconvenience to you since you arrived back in town, why didn't you just let Rebekah do whatever the hell she wanted with me and then you could have ridden off into the sunset together going from one place to the next, having wild sex and trashing houses." Okay I think the blood had gone right to my head, forget tequila getting you drunk and demolishing your ability to think about what you are saying before you actually speak the words.

"You know you're quite ridiculous when you're jealous"

Oh now my eyes were wide. Did he just say I was jealous? He thought I was jealous? Oh he was such a cocky prick, thinking I'm jealous. What an asshole.

"You know one of these days your head is going to explode right? And you think I'm jealous, of her!" I exclaimed jutting my finger out to the back pointing to the trunk of his car where a very daggered Rebekah took up residency.

"Well if you weren't I don't see a reason for you to pick a fight with her this morning" Oh now my eyes really were narrowed.

"Picked a fight? Picked a fight?" Okay so my voice was escalating with this ridicule. "Ooo defending her now are we? How cute. Why me? Of course it's my fault, everything is isn't it? First my parents, Jenna, John, Isobel, Luka and his father… they all died because of me one way or another. Then Klaus, Bonnie is still annoyed with me for sending Jeremy away. You and Stefan are constantly fighting. Stefan is this bloodthirsty monster because I couldn't be enough for him. You both have repeatedly been hurt because of the danger I've put you in. Then you are there for me, when nobody else was and and…" I stuttered a little "I just… I just… ugh" I ranted to myself throwing my hands up in the air out of frustration.

"And you are feeling sorry for yourself" Damon blurted. Well isn't he just the supportive friend? Here I am having a mini break down and he just makes it worse by stating the obvious and being blunt.

"And what if I am? Huh? Everyone goes on about everything is all about me, and maybe it is a lot of the time but do you think I want this? Do you think this is the life I wanted? I get it, this is my life now and whether Klaus is dead or not I will always be aware of the supernatural because I am supernatural and even if I do regain some sort of normalcy I will never just be normal and you know something I worry about? what if secretly I am like Katherine? What if when this is all over I have become so used to it that a normal life would just be boring? That a part of me wants there to be some sort of danger because danger and the supernatural is all that seems real now. And I never sit and complain to someone, I don't, I can't, how can I bother someone else with everything when they all have their own problems? I just sound like a spoiled little brat and now I'm just ranting on to you of all people." I don't think I came up for breath once. "You, Damon Salvatore, a guy whose moronic ass I wanted to kick a few hours ago, a guy who can't even bring himself to look at me." I don't remember the last time I let so much off my chest, and I know he should be the last person I could be rambling on to, but he'd just ignited something within me and I couldn't hold it back. I'd been so wrapped with getting so much off my chest that I hadn't even realized the car had stopped and we were now outside my house.

I looked out the window and up at my home, it seemed so dark and lacking in life to all the other houses and how I used to remember it. I roughly wiped my cheeks from crying, I wasn't just crying because I was upset and feeling sorry for myself but because I was frustrated with myself.

"There is no such thing as normal, but yes even if there was your life is so far removed from it, I can't tell you everything will be okay or why it has to be you faced with it all but what I can tell you is… Things might be bad and definitely not easy but you are the only person I have met in my… hundred and seventy years who could live through this and wake up in a morning and go to school and be there for anyone that needs you, who could go on living and in the end you will come out of this fighting. And I know this because you are the strongest person I know and Stefan and I… we might fight because deep down there are parts of us that are your typical guys who wanna be heroes and save the day and save the damsel and gain her heart and all that nonsense, but there is no damsel in this story Elena… Stefan and I aren't the heroes… you are. And it drives me insane at times to a point where I could strangle you but when it comes down to it… it's the reason I love you" His china blue eyes were where I've been wanting them to be this whole journey; locked with mine. Nobody had ever said anything like that to me before, I'd never felt so stripped bare as I felt right now. How is it that he is the one here and now saying these things? When he first came to town I can honestly say I hated him but now I look at him and I couldn't see that guy I hated even after this morning I couldn't hate him. I wasn't staring into the face of a monster; I was staring into the face of a man. I didn't have tears soaking my cheeks because he's upset me, or because he'd done something to hurt me, I had them because for the first time in a long time I felt special, understood and loved. And you know something? For the first time I stopped wondering if he deserved my love and instead I wondered if I deserved his.

A light watery smile formed on my face and I didn't want to look away but I just had to stabilize my heart rate because I'm sure he could already hear it. Plus I couldn't go getting myself wrapped up in him, well not any more than I already had. Last night and this morning was still all up in the air. I knew even though he had said what he had he was still hurt and he was still distant.

"I don't… want to have to be the strong one all the time Damon" I admitted even thought my actions in the past wouldn't back me up.

"I know. And that's why sometimes it's okay to let us help. You didn't have to fight all the battles on your own. It's not that I don't think you can handle yourself, I'm well aware that you can but sometimes you are so blinded to danger and you can rush into things without thinking things through or wanting to involve everyone. You're so obsessed with putting everything right that you don't see you aren't the only one in this. Everyone is tied into this for one reason or another and we all have our parts to play, we all have something at stake to fight for. You have an army behind you Elena but we have to work together and sometimes you will have to back down and be overruled because maybe in some ways it started with you but in the end, it will end with all of us."

Okay when did Damon Salvatore get so epic and poetic? That was baffling and I suppose maybe I did understand and I can't believe I'm going to say this but maybe he is right too but there is still my worst fear. "But I can't lose anyone else anyone else I care about" That should really be my slogan.

A slight groan rumbled in his throat as he sat back in his seat. "And what about us? You don't think we've lost people Elena? You don't think we don't have that same fear? We do but what right do you have to say you can fight for the people you love and care about we can't? You don't. And it's about time you realized it Elena because we can't afford to have any weak links and right now the way you are behaving it's one of them." Well one thing you don't have to be afraid of with Damon, he sure doesn't hold back in order to make you feel better but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe sometimes I do need someone to be honest and tell me I'm wrong even if it's not what I want to hear. "This is going to be a whole lot bigger than any of us thought but we have their weaknesses. I thought my family was dysfunctional, it had nothing on theirs. They've barely been out of the coffin's five minutes and they are turning on one another, going behind each other's backs, they will be each other's downfall. And Esther… well she has just made herself and her family the most wanted assholes on the planet, there is not a vampire on earth who doesn't want them dead." He said and he was smiling and looked pleased about something and everything he was saying he was confusing me because we already had the plan on how Klaus would die but I got the feeling Damon was up to something.

"What are you talking about? We already have a plan… Esther is going to…"

"I'll explain" He cut me off. "But not tonight"

"What? Damon you have just said we all need to work together and now you are…"

Once again I didn't get the opportunity to finish "I'm not going back on my word Elena, and neither am I going to keep things from you but for tonight you don't need to know, but what you do need to do is go inside your house; have something to eat, maybe watch some rubbish TV or paint your freaking nails - whatever a normal eighteen year old does and then put on your cute little PJ's and get in your bed and sleep" He really was bossy but he was doing it with a smile I appreciated and enjoyed. Of course I wanted to protest but he gave me a threatening look.

"Fine, but only because if I go against you right now I fear you might lock me in the boot with Rebekah" yes I actually chuckled and it was real, and by even more of a surprise; he actually joined in too.

"Well that wouldn't have been the plan but thanks for letting me know what I have to threaten you with in future, now I can get my way all the time." He smirked and of course I narrowed my eyes but only playful – well sort of.

"Oh don't push your luck, Salvatore. I've been trained to kill at the first sign of danger remember?" Now I was the one smirking and obviously meaning my few nifty tricks I'd learned recently, of course I knew they weren't enough but let me just have my moment. I'm enjoying it.

"Sure if it's posed by a fly"

My jaw dropped and eyes widened in shock and insult. The remark even if he is being playful earned him a half-hearted shove to the shoulder. Okay I say it was half hearted but there might have been a little more force, it's just that he was much stronger than me of course.

"Goodnight Damon" I decided against biting back or sparring with each other it might get a little out of hand. So I turned and opened the door and climbed on out.

After I'd walked around the front of the car and onto the pavement it was as if he knew what I was going to do because he was already winding down his window, either that or he had something more to say too; well I was getting what I had to say out first because I don't think there could be anything more important than what I had to say.

I approached the window and he was already waiting for me, and I crouched down so I could see him properly while in my head I tried to form sentences that would be substantial and expressive enough to show how sorry I was but I don't think it was possible.

"Damon, I didn't… I didn't mean what I said" I told him lifting my eyes so they were locked with his because I needed him to see I was telling the truth, he could read me like a book and I got the feeling that by now he would be able to tell when I'm lying or not and I definitely wasn't now. "I… I'm so sorry." I whispered, tilting my head to the side an apologetic smile appearing on my face. "What I said this morning was… disgusting and I am disgusted with myself because you are the last person I should be saying those things too. And I realized recently you have been the only one who has truly cared about me and been there and I have taken advantage of that and you, and then treated you the way I did…" I shook my head because I really was disgraced with myself. "I didn't mean a word of what I said I… I was just hurt… you hurt me" I admitted, and his blue orbs shone into mine and I could see a sadness breaching past his barriers.

"I know" He told me and now he looked apologetic. "And I'm sorry I hurt you… but least this time I didn't kill someone" He spoke trying to make light of the tension and conversation.

"Somehow, I don't know how but this time what you did… it hurt more. Don't know how it's possible but it did" My voice was so small because I feared admitting such a thing, one because it was beyond wrong, and two because maybe I was admitting a lot more than I should be doing because if I didn't feel more for him than just friendship why would I be hurt? Why would I have been jealous? "Maybe it was because of her and that she is an original and also because her and Stefan… have a past but I know your life mission isn't to have your brothers sloppy seconds, that was just… it was just my way of lashing out at you and I was searching for a reason why you would do that to me that I was just blinded by rage and it was the only thing that made sense." I rolled my eyes because now I obviously knew it didn't make sense because he did care for me and I wasn't just some prize to be won by him or just some toy of his brothers that he wanted to play with.

"I didn't do it to hurt you Elena. I did it because you hurt me, because however much I love you, you made me realize it is wrong for me to feel that way for you."

My eyebrows knitted together because I didn't quite understand, was he saying loving me was wrong? Well of course it was, but why was he thinking that? I didn't… want him to think that even if deep down I was aware that it was true for a couple of reasons, all of which involved Stefan.

"I've been pursuing you, even if I tell myself I haven't. I've hoped you will eventually realize you love me and will tell me and I've waited but I can't wait anymore, and not just because it hurts; but because it isn't right. If you are fighting against having feelings for me you don't want to have those feelings for me, because you know just as much as I do that it is wrong. I'm not saying I'm going to stop feeling the things I do for you, I'm not, but I'm not going to chase you either, because in all honesty I can't handle it anymore. I'm not going to be the rebound guy and I'm done with being second best. I will be there by your side fighting and to do everything I can to put Klaus and his family in the ground and make sure you are free but like I said we can't afford to have weak link's and we need to be working together and right now that isn't going to happen if Stefan and I are fighting against each other for your affections. And to be honest its getting boring, we've been at it for a hundred and forty-six years and not only don't I want to fight with him anymore because he's my brother but because whenever we do it always ends in disaster, so I'm going to do what I should have done all those years ago… I'm going to walk away." He spoke and while his words turned my stomach it was nothing compared to his eyes, because anyone could say words and not mean them but the determination in his eyes scared the living daylights out of me, because he was telling the truth and because even thought I knew most of what he said was right, the selfish part of me didn't want him to walk away because I didn't think I was capable of walking away from him.

But it was too late now, but how come it took for him to break my heart to know he was in the same heart, and had been for a time? Because I was a fool, that's why and I was pissed at myself for so many things but there was not a bone in my body that felt angry with me, sure I was upset but can I blame him?

I blinked back the tears that threatened to break free of the confinements of my eyes. This was something he needed to do, and it wasn't just for him, he was doing it because he felt it was right for his brother and also because he thought it was what I wanted and he was right, it had been… up until this point.

Yet another tearful smile formed on my face and I couldn't help leaning in through the window and I puckered and pressed my lips to his cheek. I was not doing it because I wanted to waver his determination or go back on what he had just said and decided; I did it because I wanted to and because I was sure a simple kiss to the cheek wasn't going to succeed in doing either of those things. But either way I couldn't help but let my lips linger for a moment or two, but pulled back an inch or two as to not push my luck but I couldn't help telling him what I thought. "You are a good man Damon Salvatore" I whispered close to his ear, and he truly was.

I extracted myself away from him, but let him see a smile that graced my face and I saw a hint of the vulnerability in his features I saw this morning as he slept. "Goodnight" I murmured as I stood up straight before I lost myself any further.

"See you tomorrow" He spoke and I simply nodded, of course he means because of his plan or the new piece of information on the original's he had. Of course it was all about destroying them now right? There was an underlining fear in the pit of my stomach, what would happen once they were gone? I didn't want him to leave; he'd told me he wouldn't… I just had to hope he was going to keep that promise.

"Of course" I forced the thoughts to the deepest darkest place in my mind for now and smiled offer him a light wave of my hand keeping up the appearance that I was perfectly fine, while inside was a while other story.

As I turned away I heard the sound of his engine rattle to life but I kept my head up, and walked towards my house, climbing the few steps fighting with myself not to look back. I failed when I reached the top and I heard the screech of his tyres, and on looking back all I was greeted with was the image of rare end of the Camaro flying off down the street. I sincerely hoped that wouldn't become a reoccurring event.

On turning back towards the door, I began fumbling in my pockets looking for my keys getting agitated when I couldn't seem to find them, actually I think my frustration was caused by a little more than the inability to find my keys and a lot to do with the million and one things going off inside of me. It was like for so long I've had these walls around me and the past couple of months they had been crumbling, then he made me the promise he'd never leave me and was there for whenever I needed him and of course then there was the kiss. These had all been hits to my wall but nothing that destroyed it, it was only now I see they had created weak spots, chink in my armour so all he needed to do was come along and give it a push in the right place and it completely demolished and the strangest thing was… I didn't want to assemble it back together and even if I did I wouldn't be able to.

My shaking hands rattled the keys between my fingers and made it increasingly difficult to try and slip it into the keyhole and to add further impediment I was unable to see dew to the tears that were marring my vision. I fought; I fought so hard not to let myself cry, not to let the sobs that built in my chest break through the surface but it was a losing battle. I gave into defeat that the key wasn't going to do its job, and beat the palm of my hand against the timber, and then my fist and defeat set into my bones and broke away any restraint I had left and a sob tore through my chest and completely let go my fists pounding at the door, my feet following suit. I'm sure I looked crazy right now but maybe I was. Of course I was, you know I wouldn't be surprised if one of these days I wake up in an asylum and all this has been in my head and I'm loco.

Why did he have to do this? Why did he have to become this guy… this guy who excusing his downfalls and moments could be truly amazing? Yes you heard me right I said Damon Salvatore was amazing, my head really had taken some impact today but well I was already aware of this before today, I'd been aware for a few weeks now, maybe a bit longer. Honestly I don't keep tabs.

I don't know how long I threw my tantrum for; all I was aware of is that my throat and eyes felt like that had acid in them they were so sore. My stomach felt warped, my chest trampled and my body utterly spent.

I brought my forehead to rest upon the front door, my body still vibrating from all it was having to endure while I took deep breaths to calm me. I couldn't get like this, I had to be strong. But it's amazing isn't it? I can handle the supernatural but the human emotions were so hard to manage. But my ears pricked up when I heard the sound of a car's engine coming to a stop, then the closing of a car door and suddenly my heart was all erratic for the opposite reasons it had been a moment ago. I could hear footsteps, and all my hope went into convincing myself it was him, that I actually did convince myself.

The footsteps were getting closer and the beating in my heart was becoming all the more unsettled, but a feeling of hope felt like it was swelling the vital organ to the point in which it was compressed against my sternum and ribcage. He's changed his mind! He'd come back to tell me he's changed his mind and couldn't walk away from me. Another sob broke past my chest but this time one of relief and that triggered a smile to spread across my face and I quickly wiped my eyes because I didn't want to see me in such a crying mess.

I sucked in a deep breath lifting my head from where it lay against the door, his feet climbing the steps. There was nothing I could do about my eyes and I have no idea what was about to happen but for the first time in a long time I didn't have a plan and would just let whatever happens happen.

My smile remained because it was the first thing I wanted him to see, it might distract him from my bloodshot eyes or snotty nose. I began to turn around to be faced with him as his footsteps had now come to a halt. "You better be here to tell me you have changed your mi –"

Unfortunately I didn't get the chance to finish, and the smile was completely obliterated from my face when I came head-on with my visitor.

"S…Stefan" I stuttered, as my hopes plummeted. Oh god lord.

"Elena?" He eyes me worriedly. "What's wrong?" He expressed concern and this was so messed up because a few days ago I would have felt comfort in seeing him being able to express some sort of affection for me and now… now all I could feel was utter disappointment to come face to face with him.

How am I supposed to tell him the truth? Somewhere deep down a sense of guilt did sparked to life but I was just overwhelmed with frustration and a spell of the blues.

"I uh… I just…" My eyes glanced around hoping for some sort of help, but unless the hanging basket of flowers could offer me up an explanation to give him; I was on my own. "It's just been… a really long day" I casted my eyes down, deciding to try and unlock the door once again, hoping this time I would succeed. "Did… did Bonnie get home okay?" I asked because one I really did hope she had and two because it would be a distraction.

"Yes she said she would call you later or some time tomorrow." He told me but I wasn't really listening, instead just nodding as if I was. "What did he do? What did Damon do?" My thoughts were snapped away from me when I heard him speak his name, and heard the manner in which he spoke it. I didn't like it and I drew my eyes in his direction, and narrowed them.

"Why is it that you always have to think he had done something?"

He seemed a bit taken aback by my tone, I wasn't trying to hurt him even if he had hurt me but I was just sick of people thinking Damon was Satan and the cause of all evil. "Maybe because he brought you home and because you've been crying." He said, and well I suppose maybe it would be enough to ask questions.

"Then you ask 'If' Stefan. You asked if he had done something, not 'What?' But of course everyone always assumes don't they before getting their facts straight. You know everyone is always assuming the worst of Damon when he has done nothing but prove himself over and over, he had saved my life multiple times, and yours, he was bitten by Tyler trying to fend him off from Caroline and Matt and yet everyone still thinks he is some sort of ogre. And hey I have done it myself before… a few times but I've learned not to and I'm eighteen years old. I thought if I was capable, a hundred and however old you are would be able to manage" I turned my back on him intending to turn the key and unlock the door so I could go inside and just close myself off for a little while. "And who says anything has happened huh? Isn't it enough that I crashed my car today… again, that I've been thrown across a room, bitten, kidnapped, and nearly set on fire? Or maybe it's just because sometimes I can be weak and cry for no reason like a typical hormonal girl does" I ranted on, and was relieved to hear the click of the door, because I wanted to remove myself from this situation.

I was about to push open the door and enter but before I could I felt him grab my arm, he wasn't being heavy handed at all but I still didn't want him grabbing or touching me right now. "Get off me" I snatched my arm out of his grip for the second time today. My eyes met with him and I had to know, even if I knew already I had to hear it from his mouth. "Why did you do it Stefan? Why did you let me go up to Damon's room this morning knowing what I would find, or should I say who?"

Obvious guilt set into his features because he had known he had done wrong "I'm sorry" He apologized and meant it.

I shook my head furiously. "No, that isn't what I asked of you, I asked why?" I would make him say it, he needed to say it. "Tell me!" I demanded, my chest visibly shaking.

"Because…" He raised his voice, and paused before looking around. Nope the hanging basket isn't going to help him either. "Because… I'm scared. I'm scared I'm going to lose you; I'm scared that all this time you and Damon have been spending together is going to change things for us. That… that you'll fall for him. So yes… I sent you up there knowing what you would find because I can't bare it if you fall for him and come to me and tell you you've kissed again. I couldn't let you be blinded by him, and I thought going up there you would see, see for yourself that that is what he's doing. I'm sorry Elena…" He approached me and I don't know what he was going to do… beg? Maybe but I didn't care, I was so angry and in an act of anger I did something I had never done before – I slapped him. It was either slap him or spit in his face, the latter wasn't my style.

"You are… unbelievable" My voice low but so full of animosity. "Have you heard yourself? How pathetic and selfish you sound? You were worried about the time Damon and I were spending together and how it would change things for us? We were spending time together trying to get you back so there could be an 'us', even though he loved me and he could have spent the time trying to win me he didn't… because he knew I loved you and you loved me and he couldn't do that to you and because he doesn't think I am something to be won; unlike you and because you are his brother. I'm not a toy Stefan, I can't be won over by you getting one up on your brother, it is not a game and I am not a prize!" I seethed.

"As for you being scared of losing me how dare you say that? How dare you when you chose blood and killing Klaus over me? When you saved Damon's life, when you put Damon before me and you left it did hurt yes but I was proud of you, and it was my pride and love for you that kept me going, the reason I couldn't give up. I didn't give up on you Stefan… you gave up on me! You pushed me away.

"You think… no, you expect for me to wait for you? You expect for me to wait for you to find the old Stefan again and even thought you hurt me you expect me to just forget everything that has happened these past few months and run to you with open arm?"

"Well you sure did with Damon" He hissed and I could see he was getting angry as well as upset and it definitely wasn't a good mix but the thing was I was so enraged that I'd probably advise him to be scared rather than I.

I took on step closer and then another, my eyes boarding into his as I looked up at him. "When will you understand?" My voice extremely low but nothing small or timid about it when expressed. "This. Is. Not. About. Damon" I punctuated each word. "This is about you and me, this is about how you dropped me like I was nothing. How you made me feel worthless, like I was nothing even though I had done nothing but accept you for who you are and help you when you were so far past helping yourself. You want someone to blame for this Stefan, you need to take a good hard look at yourself in a mirror. I hope one day you can forgive yourself and one day I will forgive you but it changes nothing. You don't have to fear losing me Stefan – you've already lose me when you gave up on me, on us." My anger was fading and instead it was replaced with sorrow, the sharpness in my eyes had disappeared also, all because it was heart breaking to say because of remembering what we once were, but it was the truth. "A part of me will always love you Stefan, you were my first love. But… I'm no longer in love with you." I surprised myself with those words because I once thought he was it for me, I actually believed that there was such a thing as soul mates and I'd found it in him, but I was naïve and now I'd grown up.

However much he had hurt me I didn't want to hurt him but I knew after my little outburst and all I have said it was inevitable for me not to hurt him. But I have needed to get it off my chest because it had been eating me up.

I stepped back and away from him as he just stood there and I could see he was in pure shock and he did look heart broken and I hated that I did that to him, just like I'd done the same to Damon but the difference was I'd meant what I'd said to Stefan.

"Let me go…" I whispered and offered a sad smile as I reversed my way into the opened door way. I worried what might happen from here, how Stefan would behave or react but I couldn't bring myself down with him anymore, I couldn't stop him… he was the one that taught me that. I also worried about how Stefan would react with Damon but from the look in his eyes he knows this isn't about him, this isn't about any growing or grown feelings I may have for him.

My hand gripped the handle of the door and without another word… I closed the door. I'd closed a chapter on my life, the Stefan chapter. I meant what I said, a part of me would always love the guy I knew him to be but I wasn't in love with him, and what made me all the more sure is that as I leaned back against the door, my eyes closed… I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders.

Both of the Salvatore brothers were going to let me go... but there was one I couldn't let go of myself. And he was the one I never thought it would be…

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Okay so there it is... no its not the perfect happily ever after and all that lol, as I said I've kept pretty much to what we know but yes I have tweaked it for my ideas.

I know the Esther plan might be a bit out there but just from hearing her say what she did in last episode... I thought it would definitely be yet another twist in the words.

Anyways, I REALLY hoped you enjoys, Please PLEASE Review... I love them whatever your critique.

Ciao,
Danielle xx

REVIEW! XD

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