Chapter 1

In heaven, there were many beautiful things. There were the different lakes and places that were perfect replicas of the places that the dead used to roam. People had different things to do, and they always had different places to go. If a soul so desired, they could hike on a mountain without risk of death or injury. A person so lucky to go to heaven would probably never run out of things to do. It was what the thought was anyways.

It was not the same on the level of emotion, though. Lily could not remember a day that James and she did not fight. She wanted to give up so badly. Her stubborn will was starting to crumble under the pressure. There was no way she could be happy with James, not anymore. Something within her had gone somewhere else. Maybe, she just did not love James anymore. She understood that he was the father of her child, but she could not change her feelings.

The fights were becoming too much for her to stand. She got up and looked right at James. As much as she wanted it over with, pain came to her heart. Lily still did not want to do this to James. "James…" She muttered and then looked into his eyes when he looked back at her. Even if what she knew was true remained to be so, there were still years between the two of them. That was something she could not just erase, even if she wanted to.

"I…" There was just no easy way out was there? She wanted to escape, to hide away from her problems. Lily knew that wasn't her though, and she was hiding away from the fear that this would ruin everything for too long. The girl thought that heaven would be happiness, eternal bliss. It had turned to hell though as she saw the things that Snape did for her and her son. He made up for everything he had ever done to her every second he defended Harry. Lily even knew that secretly, Severus was getting attached and just could not admit attachment for her son.

"You what, Lily?" James automatically was ready to defend himself, ready to take her blaming him again. He knew the drill, and he was not going to take it sitting down. Lily sighed as she saw the expression on his face. He would be hurt no matter what because he did not understand. He would not see how hard this was for her, and this was where disconnect between the two had began. It had been harder for Lily to accept that she could no longer help her son or do anything to help anyone. The thought if it made her weak, while James acted like it was not a big deal.

"…Don't love you anymore." She was silent after these words and let the silence fill the air. Lily knew this would be her only moment of peace for awhile.

"What? How could you say that? After all we have been through, after marrying and having a child together! Why?" James got very angry at this once he understood that she meant this and this was not just some sick joke.

"It's complicated."

"It's complicated? Why is it complicated? Is that all you can really tell me that its complicated?"

"Because I…" Lily seemed unable to say it.

"Because you love good old Snivillus, don't you?" James shoved it in her face bitterly.

"Is that what this is about? Some bitter rivalry you and Severus had with each other in the past? Grow up."

"He was a death eater and I knew it! He doesn't care about me or our son!"

"Y-you're… lying!" Lily started to turn away and leave but James grabs her and makes her look his way. She met his glare and started to cry. This was just too much to take. She wished that this wasn't happening.

"Fine, if that's what you want." James says in a voice colder than she had ever heard before. Lily knew that this was just so he wouldn't break down in front of her. She was let go and she ran away from there as quickly as she could. The farther away she got, the better was her opinion. There was no telling what she was going to do or even where she was going. She neither knew nor cared.