Set in season 13 during Rollins' first couple weeks.

Amanda plops down on the bar stool, mentally and emotionally exhausted.

"Whatever's on tap," she tells the bartender, and he places her drink in front of her soon after. She takes her first sip, more in line with a gulp, and sighs.

"Long day?"

She turns to the voice was talking to her on the right. A middle-aged man sits a few stools down. He's older than her, graying, a receding hairline, but fit and attractive. She would be put off by him, but he didn't seem to be flirting, just… simple bar talk.

"Yeah," she replies. "Long day."

"Work?"

Amanda nods. "Started a new job recently. It's just… It can be a lot." She gives the man a friendly smile. "You? Long day?"

He nods as he looks at his half-empty beer. "They all seem long these days."

"Hmph," Amanda huffs. "Bad breakup?" she guesses.

The man smiles at the comment. "Something like that."

"I'm Amanda," she offers.

He looks up at her, lifts his drink as if saluting. "Elliot." He gestures toward the seat next to her. "May I?"

Amanda tilts her head to say yes.

"So," he says. "What is it about this new job that landed you in this bar, Amanda?"

"I don't know," Amanda says. "I knew the job would be tough, I expected that. But… There's this woman I work with who I really look up to. I've admired her work for a while now, so I was excited to get to know her."

"But?"

"But it turns out she's kind of a Grade-A Bitch."

Elliot laughs out loud. "I like your honesty," he says.

"I don't get it. Everyone loves this woman, but it seems like she snaps at everyone and everything around her."

"Sounds like a peach," Elliot quips.

She nods. "She's just not the woman I've heard about."

Amanda quiets for a moment, thinking through the last couple weeks. "Man, you should see her while she works, though. She's incredible… I mean, really really incredible. Not to mention she's a knockout. I could give you her number for when you're over your breakup."

Elliot chuckles a bit. "That's not necessary, thanks though. I, uh… I'm not looking." He holds his left hand up to show Amanda his ring.

"Oh, sorry… I thought you said… Or, I guess I assumed."

"You weren't wrong."

Amanda pauses a moment before she catches on. "Ah. An affair."

"No." It's an automatic response he has used for twelve years. But tonight, he hesitates. "Not quite," he corrects. "Not physically anyway." Amanda stays quiet, giving him space to talk. "I just retired, actually."

"Wow, congrats."

"Thanks… And a woman I worked with for over a decade, I uh, I didn't say goodbye to her. I couldn't say goodbye."

"You love her," she says.

Elliot nods, takes a sip of his beer. "More than anything… For better or worse."

Amanda watches as Elliot takes another sip, pain etched into every move.

"Just the thought of saying goodbye to her was already hard enough, but I also knew," he continues, "that if I did… if I'd said goodbye, if I'd gone to her… It would have gotten emotional and we would have…"

"You wouldn't have been able to say 'no' when I asked about an affair."

Elliot looks over at her and shakes his head suddenly. "Jesus, listen to me babbling on about my problems…Sorry, Amanda."

Amanda shrugs. "It's kind of nice to focus on someone else's issues for a change."

Elliot smiles and nods. "Where did you say this new job of yours was?"

"I'm a detective… Special Victims."

Elliot's lips slowly curve into a smile as he puts her story together. Eventually, he has to look away, laughing as he takes another drink.

"What?" Amanda asks. "Not a fan of cops?"

"No, no, that's not it," Elliot says. He gathers himself together and looks at her. "That's a noble work, Amanda."

"Thanks," she says, eyeing him suspiciously.

He stands, fishes a $50 out of his pocket and motions to the bartender. "Her drinks are on me," he says.

"Oh, you don't have to do that."

"It's my pleasure. A small token of my thanks for all the victims you're going to get justice for." Amanda gives a heartfelt smile as Elliot starts to walk out of the bar, but he turns back after a few steps. "And Amanda?"

She looks back, her eyebrows raised. "Yeah."

"You never know what people are going through. Cut Olivia some slack."

Amanda nods, then her eyes widen as he leaves the bar, realizing she never told him Olivia's name.

Amanda sits in awkward silence with her Grade-A Bitch partner for the day. They've been on a stakeout for an hour now with no end in sight. Any question she asks Olivia or topic of conversation she throws out, Olivia shoots down immediately.

But she keeps wondering about Elliot, the man she met at the bar. She'd always heard about Olivia's partner by his last name… Benson and Stabler… but she wonders if it was him. How else would he have put Olivia's name together after she told him she was working at SVU?

"You go out much?" Amanda asks.

Olivia doesn't even flinch, just keeps looking out the window. "Not much."

Amanda rolls her eyes. Olivia makes this way more difficult than it has to be. "Never?" she says.

Olivia exhales sharply, annoyed. "Sometimes, I guess," she says. "We used to a lot more."

Amanda nods. "I got a drink at this bar a couple nights ago. It was actually the bar at the Marriott Hotel.

"Never been."

"Me either, but it was nice. Met this really kind man."

"No offense, but I'm not interested in your sex life, Amanda."

"No," Amanda says, exasperated. "That's not where I was going with that. He was just friendly, we talked. He told me about this woman… He was in love with her, but he was married to someone else."

Olivia huffs. "A man at a bar whining about his mistress? How cliché."

"Actually, they never acted on it."

Olivia rolls her eyes and looks back out the window.

"But I could tell he regretted it… never acting on it. Seemed like a good man… Moral. But his being good cost him the best thing he never had. It killed him." When her comment is met with silence, she continues. "I could tell he was lonely. And I've never seen so much love in someone's sad eyes. He said he left her, and he didn't say goodbye because he knew he wouldn't be able to resist her."

She tries to gauge Olivia's reaction, but her face is turned too far.

"Anyway, I walked by the hotel last night and saw him there again, drinking alone," Amanda says. "Guess he's just been on my mind."

Olivia's voice cracks when she speaks. "Why are you telling me this, Rollins?"

Amanda shrugs. "Just thought you'd wanna know." But she can't help herself, she has to ask. "You loved him too, didn't you?"

After a beat, "More than anything," Olivia whispers. "For better or worse."

Amanda sits back with a smile, remembering the exact same words from Elliot.

She watches his back for twenty minutes from the lobby before she goes into the bar. His head hangs low, only lifting to take sips of his drink. Her stomach in knots, her heart pounding, unsure of how he will react to seeing her.

Finally, she enters, fitted red dress hugging her curves as she makes her way to the bar and sits on the open stool beside him. "Gin, please."

"Liv…" Elliot says in shock before eyeing her outfit. He lands back on her face for a few moments before he realizes it. "Amanda?"

Olivia nods, then thanks the bartender when her drink lands in front of her.

They sip in silence.

"You could have talked to me," she finally whispers, her voice already straining.

He shakes his head. "I'm sorry," he says, his voice low. "I needed to make this decision without you or I wouldn't have made it at all."

"And you just leave? Without saying anything to me?"

"I couldn't."

"Why?"

"Because every time I thought about it… I knew that I would have… that we would have…" He huffs, unsure of how to finish the sentence.

Her voice is barely audible. "Would that have been so bad?"

He doesn't dare lift his head to look at her. "No," he answers. "That's the problem, Liv. It… Dammit, if I finally let myself touch you, I'll never want to stop."

Her heart hammers in her chest at his words and she wants nothing more in this moment than just that—for him to touch her.

He looks up when she stands. "Liv, wait."

She digs into the pocket of her purse, pulls out two key cards, slides one to the bar in front of him. It reads, Marriott Hotel Room 338.

She makes eye contact with him for the first time tonight. "If you don't show, I understand and respect that. But if you do…" She doesn't finish the sentence, just bites her bottom lip nervously. "Decision's yours."

Option A or B for chapter 2? One's sad and angsty and one is raw and sexy. It's up to you, even though you won't know which one you're choosing. Take a gamble! :)