I had some requests to post the Troigan I write, because who doesnt love the on-screen chemistry between Keegan Allen and Troian Bellisario, our lovely Spoby couple? It's hard not to be inspired by them and fall in love with their friendship and both on-screen AND off-screen chemistry. I know full well that Troian is blessed with the fantastic Patrick J Adams, but my heart can't help itself sometimes...
I feel a little awkward writing about real people in the world but here I am. I'll make a disclaimer now that these in no way reflect the true emotions of Troian and Keegan. It is all purely sprouted from my overly-romantic-brain... :)
On the PLL season one DVDs, there is an interview with the male castmates and when it's Keegan's turn he talks about his first kiss with Troian, so I took a lot from that interview to get a vision of how their first kiss went on set. It's mentioned that Troian was sick, but for romantic purposes, I cut that out ;) The Spoby kiss in 1x19 was Keegan's first on-screen kiss ever, so that's always fun to play with. But Troian also admitted in one interview to having no idea Keegan was hiding his delicious abs, so I had to throw a little of that in there too.
As you guessed, this is centered around filming the Spoby motel scene in season one, episode nineteen, A Person of Interest.
Thanks loves! Let me know your thoughts if you can :)
Keegan couldn't remember the last time he was this nervous.
In fact, he was pretty sure he had never been this nervous in his entire life.
He had been pre-warned that his relationship on the show with Troian's character would grow and they would grow closer. He had been naïve to think that they might not become romantically involved. But here they were, episode nineteen, the black font glaring up at him from the crisp white script pages.
-Toby steps forward and kisses Spencer-
He played Toby. Troian played Spencer. He had to kiss Troian. He had to do so on camera. He had to do so with about fifty witnesses, and then after that several million viewers. His friends, family, fellow cast mates and random people he had never met would see him kiss her. It was just the ultimate form of PDA. He had never done anything of the sort on camera before so this was a whole new universe for him.
His make-up artist had laughed when he had come in that morning.
"Ah, it's finally Spoby's First Kiss Day is it?" she teased.
He rubbed his eyes and practically pouted in annoyance. He had barely slept the night before, tossing and turning, going over everything that could possibly go wrong. Were there certain universal procedures that he had no idea about? He knew directors offered specifics when needed, but what if he was too passionate, or too wimpy about it? What if they had to scrap the whole thing because he not only was, but looked like, a bad kisser? What if Troian hated it? What if she was awkward around him from then on? What if Patrick, her boyfriend, saw it and thought Keegan got too into it and came and clocked him one? What if he got kicked off the show because he couldn't be a decent romantic interest because he couldn't kiss on-screen well enough? What if-
The reel in his brain got caught in the spokes when Troian walked into the make-up trailer eating an apple casually.
"Hey Keegs." she greeted easily, like it was any other day.
Well, of course she would. She had already kissed/made-out with three different guys on this show alone, let alone however many in past work.
That was another one. How many guys had Troian even kissed in her lifetime? It must be a large number. She was stunning and so intriguing; guys must fall at her feet when they see her at Starbucks, let alone the ones that actually know her.
He was so doomed.
"Hi Troi." he replied quietly, nodding his thanks at his stylist as she left, her work complete.
"What's the matter?" she asked in concern, noting that he wasn't as warm and upbeat as he normally was, even in the early hours.
He jumped to his feet rather quickly as her make-up artist honed in on her.
"Hmm… oh, nothing. I'll see you later." he said far too quickly to sound nonchalant like he meant to and he practically teleported away he was gone so fast.
Troian was so confused. He was acting like he was afraid of her, or that he was being chased by demons. Either seemed rather unlikely.
"Excited for the big Spoby moment today, Troian?" Marlene King asked cheerfully as she passed by to talk to one of the other girls.
Finally, it hit her. Today was Spencer and Toby's first kiss.
Troian tracked down Keegan after she was all made up. Their scene wasn't for almost an hour but they always got prepared ahead of time in case the lineup got changed around as it often did.
She found him in an easygoing conversation with Ian off-set.
Ian noticed her first, as he was facing her direction. "Troian on a mission. Troian on a mission." he chanted in warning in an undertone, although she managed to hear him from at least ten feet away.
Keegan was confused. "What are you-"
But Troian had snatched his arm, flashing Ian a determined I'm-borrowing-your-best-friend smile, before yanking Keegan rather aggressively down to her dressing room.
He practically toppled into her when she shut the door and she felt her breath shorten at how close they were. Her hands rested on his chest to brace him from actually collapsing against her, but his arms had already swept around her waist to steady himself. His rather minty breath was hitting her forehead and she realized they were intertwined much like they would be later, as if they were about to kiss.
The thought made her lick her lips on instinct.
Keegan meanwhile had loosened his hold on her and then smirked, raising an eyebrow at her, questioning his rather sudden presence in her dressing room.
She stepped back to put some space between them, shooting him an apologetic look.
"I figured out what's going on with you." she explained, somewhat proudly.
He chuckled and moved further inside the room, settling on her sofa. "Awesome."
She knew he was embarrassed but she didn't want him to be, even if it was completely adorable. "Keegan, don't be so worried. It's going to be fine. I've done this dozens of times, trust me on this." she promised, sitting next to him and rubbing his forearm comfortingly.
"Dozens. Great." he muttered under his breath, seeming more stressed by her attempt of reassurance than before. "Some with fancy photographers, some with sweet talking Brits…" he continued mumbling and as soon as she deciphered what he said, she had to hold back a laugh. He was just too cute.
"You're worried I won't like it?" she asked kindly.
He hadn't been looking her in the eye but once she voiced that, he buried his face in his hands.
"Please just let me die here. I'll see you at my funeral." he groaned, mortified that she figured that out.
She couldn't help herself; she had to laugh at his comment. "Keegan…"
He didn't move, silently hoping he would just die right then and there from humiliation. It certainly felt possible at this point.
Troian patiently linked an arm with him, although he left his head in his hands regardless. She knew he would voice his concerns soon enough, she just had to wait until he was ready.
When he felt her head lean against his shoulder, he relaxed some. He finally sat up and leaned back against the couch, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. She leaned comfortably into him, still silent but understanding he needed time to gather his thoughts.
"I just…" He felt his courage wavering but soldiered on. "I care a lot about what you think of me, Troi. Probably too much." he confessed softly.
Troian was surprised at his words. "This doesn't have to change anything between us, Keegs. It's not even really us."
He sighed. "But it is. I don't want things to get weird between us. I love our friendship just the way it is. I don't want it to change." he admitted, feeling like a child rebelling against growing up; the Peter Pan of PLL.
She squeezed his hand. "It'll only change if we let it. But I don't think it will. If anything, we'll grow stronger. This is only the beginning of the two of them. If fans love them as much as they have been, we're going to get a chance to spend a lot more time together."
Keegan liked the sound of that. He hadn't thought that far into it. He was focused on the task itself rather than the goal.
She continued on, smiling slightly seeing the change in his face. He seemed to have relaxed plenty. "As for the kiss itself, it's just a kiss, Keegs. And I guarantee you it'll be anything but romantic. We'll be told where to put our hands, which angle to tilt our heads, all of that fun stuff. I'll tell you right now with confidence that it'll feel more like work than play. There will be no room to worry about performance."
He chuckled slightly, tracing patterns into her palm now.
"It's not just that I'm worried about. It's that it'll look bad. It'll just be so awkward-looking that they won't even be able to put it on the show, and then they'll have to write a whole new story arc and my character will get written out of the show since I'm such a fail at on-screen kissing so I obviously can't be a romantic interest for anybody and-"
Troian's laughter cut him off. "Keegan, seriously, don't stress about that. It'll be fine. You just have to get into your character and it'll be a completely different world. You won't be thinking about kissing me, you'll be Toby thinking about kissing Spencer. Just use some outside influence to fuel your motives like you would any other scene."
"I don't know. This just seems so much more personal…" he commented, looking unsure.
"Well, it is I guess." she agreed with a chuckle. "But it'll be that much more rewarding on screen. The fans are going to eat up this episode, I just know it."
He smiled at that, agreeing, but didn't verbally reply.
She sighed. "Do you just not want to kiss me?" she teased, knowing he was taking this far too seriously right now. She understood though; she had been the exact same way her first on-screen kiss, even on this show. It had been with Julian, who played Wren, and she had only known him for about five minutes. Personally, she was excited that it was Keegan she was kissing. He was one of her best friends so it was a little weird, but she knew it would be much more believable than the other ones.
He laughed at her question. "I don't think there's a right way to answer that question." he replied amusedly.
On the contrary, he knew he wouldn't need outside influences to help motivate him to kiss Troian. It's not like the thought had never crossed his mind in the past. She was incredibly beautiful and someone he loved being around. He wished he could be kissing her as himself rather than as Toby, but he guessed he had to take what he could get. It wasn't until he got the script last week that he realized his feelings for her, like Toby's for Spencer, had been growing. He was trying not to think about that though because he knew she was in a serious relationship and that they would always just be friends.
In some ways, he didn't want to kiss her, because he was scared his feelings would get the best of him and he would be too enthusiastic in doing so, thus alerting her and the rest of the crew that he was interested in her that way. His other concern was that once he finally kissed her, he wouldn't be able to deny his feelings for her like he had been, and things between them would get awkward, whether she was aware of it or not.
Troian mulled over the idea for half a second before breaking from his hold and getting to her feet. Keegan seemed a little panicked, as if his response had offended her in some way. But she merely smiled reassuringly at him and held out her hand.
"We're going to practice. Right now." she instructed matter-of-factly.
His eyes went wide and she tried not to grin.
"Right-right now?" he asked, his voice strangled.
She nodded quickly. "Yep. Right now. Up ya get."
He got to his feet uneasily. This was feeling like a bad idea. Alone in a room with Troian… kissing her? He knew he would lose control.
"Umm I don't know about this…" he mumbled and she could see how much fear he really was harboring in his eyes.
She sighed, squeezing his hands in hers. "Keegan. It's just me. You know I adore you. Stop thinking so much and just kiss me."
His hands broke from hers to gently grip her waist, pulling them closer.
He sighed sadly, like this would be their last kiss before his death or something dramatic. "Okay. But if this goes badly, I'm not showing up on set later. They already recast Toby once, they can do it again." he pouted, causing her to laugh.
"Just kiss me already." she teased.
After another melodramatic sigh, he stepped closer to her. He looked deep in her chocolate eyes and she nodded her permission, offering a half-smile of encouragement. Finally, he gradually leaned down to meet their lips.
Troian knew she had to leave the most of it up to Keegan. He was going to have to get used to kissing someone he didn't have direct feelings for, and she wanted him to decide the direction of the kiss. It was scripted so that Toby was taking Spencer by surprise, so he was obviously doing the leading.
His mouth was nervous, almost shy, as it brushed hers, but when she let hers respond to his he seemed to grow more confidence with what he was doing.
Keegan's hold on her waist tightened as he kissed her more firmly, with more purpose, and he tried not to get excited when he felt her mirroring enthusiasm. He knew at the back of his mind that she was acting, but he couldn't convince the rest of his body of that.
His hand had rose to cup her face, the other still resting on her waist, his hesitant kiss growing into something much more. Troian meant to be paying attention to what it must look like from the outside, wanting to be able to offer him any pointers so things could go even smoother on set, but she found herself getting far too distracted.
Without thinking, one hand tangled in his soft hair. Her other fingers were buried in his t-shirt on his lower back, pressing him closer to her. She knew if she didn't do something soon, he would end the kiss and without even being aware of the emotion, she didn't want that to happen.
They snuck bits of air in as their lips parted, but finally Troian persuaded his mouth to open to hers. She struggled to quiet the moan that bubbled up her throat when she felt his tongue brush hers sensually, wrapping around hers and getting to know it intimately.
Although their make-out session was rather tame, Troian found it heating up parts of her that should not have been this excited for a 'practice kiss'. In the recesses of her mind, she wondered why he had ever been nervous; this was incredible.
Keegan suddenly sucked on her bottom lip, nibbling it gently between his teeth, and Troian couldn't help herself. She let out a breathy sigh of pleasure.
He tried not to grin. He knew that wasn't acting. She was actually enjoying herself.
Wanting to quit while he was ahead, he placed a few more soft kisses on her swelling lips and pulled back.
Her eyes were bright and full of life he hadn't seen in them before. They both struggled to catch their breath, Troian leaning against his body for support. He smiled nervously at her, raising his eyebrows in question and she buried her laugh in his neck as she hugged him tightly.
"You did it. I knew you could." she told him happily, squeezing his firm torso before pulling back to grin at him.
"Now just to do that in front of everybody else." he muttered amusedly, but smiled gratefully at her. "I do feel better about it now though. Thank you, Troi. Although it's sort of weird, I'm so glad it's you I'm doing this with. Anyone else and I would've had to quit all together."
She chuckled at that, but her insides fluttered at his sweet comment. "I'm glad it's us too. Once I saw us getting scenes together, I hoped it would go this direction." she admitted without thinking.
He didn't look bothered though. He simply smiled more broadly.
"It's sort of exciting. This is a momentous occasion in my acting career." he said, seeming much more comfortable with the idea now. She was so glad he had stopped stressing over it so much. Now he was at the acceptance stage and could get excited about it.
"I'm glad I get to be your first." she said coyly, meaning it. It made her feel special even though she knew it wasn't by her doing.
"Same here." he told her honestly, pressing a brotherly kiss to her forehead as he pulled her in for another hug.
A knock came from behind the closed door. "Due on set in ten, Troian." the voice called.
She smiled broadly at Keegan. "Here we go."
Of course, once they got on set they remembered that the kiss wasn't the first scene. They still had the rest of the motel part to film. They had done the initial day stuff the day before, but they still had to do the moments before sleep.
They were playing Scrabble and then Toby offers Spencer his shirt to change into, since she was wearing probably the most uncomfortable outfit for sleep ever invented. He then leaves her with it to decide for herself and goes inside the cheap bathroom to change into his pajama pants. The shutters are broken so they don't fully shut which leads to Spencer finding herself watching him unbutton his shirt, exposing his magnificent upper body. It was supposed to be even further clue that she was fighting feelings for him.
They had both been warned of the 'shirtless scene' but Troian and the rest of the cast had never seen Keegan without a shirt on. He seemed appropriately awkward just like the other men on the show when told of scenes of such nature. It was a rather vulnerable moment no matter how attractive you were to be unclothed in any manner for millions of viewers.
Troian knew he was somewhat built because he had carried Tammin, who played Jenna, like she was nothing much earlier in the season, but she had no idea that he had the best body on the entire show. Considering the attractiveness level of the other men on the show, that was saying something.
After the director's cut the scene, Troian smacked him in the arm when he was on her side of the room.
"Sheesh, what was that for?!" he asked, laughing, shoving her hands away.
"Where did you get THOSE?!" she asked exasperatedly, gesturing wildly to his incredible six pack. She had no idea his entire upper body was sculpted like a Greek god. He usually was just in jeans and a t-shirt, or a suit at events, and he didn't look particularly ripped. She could hardly keep her eyes in her head as she swept them over the toned, exposed skin.
He blushed adorably, scratching the back of his neck. "I don't know… I've always had them. Genetics I guess. Plus the weird sports I'm into like long boarding. You need a strong core for balance."
Troian didn't even realize that she was openly gawking at him, her hand trailing down from his bare chest to his abdomen. She quickly stepped back. He was watching her carefully, unsure of what she was thinking.
"I think you should worry about what the fans are going to do when they see this. The kiss won't even be on their radar after that." she told him shortly before going back to her mark as the director signaled they were going to roll it again.
Keegan tried not to smile. It's not that he wasn't aware that he was fit therefore had an attractive body… but he had never seen Troian so flustered before.
Maybe there was hope for him yet.
Troian was incredibly grateful that when it came time for the kiss, Keegan had to put a shirt back on.
She wasn't someone who was normally blown away by people's appearance… but something about Keegan Allen had her unable to concentrate on anything else but the look of his abs contracting with every breath he took, or how when he twisted his torso a certain way his muscles looked even more chiseled than they already were.
The script had Spencer wake up with her head on Toby's chest, moving in their sleep into a comfortable lovers position. But Troian couldn't do it. His chest was so hard it was like lying on stone. She knew it looked awkward.
The director decided to try having them wake up spooning, Spencer's arm looped around his waist and his arm holding it securely there.
That she could do. She wrapped an arm around Keegan's torso and pressed her body closer. Their full bodies were aligned and she couldn't help but notice how good he smelled. He always smelled like he had just gotten out of the shower. She loved that clean, sweet odor.
Keegan too was distracted by how close she was. Was this what it was going to be like for the next however long where they had to be in close proximity all the time? He could feel her soft breath against the nape of his neck and her tiny frame leaning against him from behind. It was setting his entire body on fire under the surface, although he tried his best to hide it.
In one take, one of her bare feet slipped between his and the suddenness caused him to jump, resulting in the entire studio laughing at him. It was timed perfectly with Spencer moving her arm, so it looked like he was scared of her pulling away from him.
Finally the scene wrapped up and it was time for the kiss.
Only some of the crew was aware that this was Keegan's first filmed kissing scene ever. His nerves multiplied when he saw a bunch more people crowding in the small studio to watch the first Spoby moment of the season. He knew it was just polite curiosity but he wished they'd understand that this was hard enough…
Troian read his expression like his thoughts were typed out on his forehead. "It's just you and me. Just like earlier in my dressing room. You're going to be great." she promised quietly, smiling encouragingly at him.
He smiled back at her. "Thanks, Troi."
He listened intently to the directions, tried not to get sick, and finally was leaning down to kiss Troian for the first time with witnesses.
Their kiss was different than earlier; it felt a little awkward being watched, but for the most part it was good. Their lips moved fluidly together, tender and slow, and Troian tried not to let her knees give out when he deepened it on instinct.
He pulled back, realizing he was supposed to end it after three Mississippi and Troian clued in that it was her line.
"I… wasn't expecting that." she dialogued a little breathlessly. Her mind was taunting her, reminding her how true the words she was saying really were. Before today, she had only thought about what it would be like to kiss him a handful of times. Now she wasn't sure if she would ever be able to think of anything else.
"Me neither." he breathed back as written, but his eyes were dancing with mirth and she realized he was having mirroring thoughts.
They finished the short scene and when the directors were distracted, the pair high-fived and laughed about it. Keegan loved how easy things were with Troian. She was definitely one of his favorite people on and off set.
Once the directors had finished discussing, they ran the scene again and shot the kiss part repeatedly, getting it from different angles so they could edit it in a steady flow of shots. The two actors tried their best to imitate the first kiss exactly, but instincts sometimes got in the way. Troian felt their kiss become more and more scripted as they continued, but she still found her brain hazy. If there was one thing she knew now, it was that Keegan was an excellent kisser, on and off screen.
And when he shot her a dazzling smile after they were all finished, and her stomach did about sixteen somersaults, she realized that things had changed between them. And there was nothing she could do about it now.