A/N: I wrote this absolutely ages ago, but just decided to post it now. It's a very short One Shot about Lucas' thoughts on his way back from the road trip to see Ellie in Brave New World

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional

Lucas' POV

Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep, this air is blessed, you share with me.

I sit in her car wondering if I did the right thing, going to see her mother with her. Should I be with Brooke instead?

I had just started dating her, and Peyton could easily go to see Ellie by herself.

I look over at Peyton once again.

If this is the wrong decision, then why does it feel so right?

Without noticing I put my arm around her shoulder. She looks over at me surprised, but then relaxes.

It is a bright, sunny day and the way the sun shines on her hair makes it look absolutely golden. Her head is bopping along slightly to Dashboard Confessional, it makes me want to –

I am dating Brooke. I love Brooke. She's the girl for me. I should be thinking about her.

I decide to mentally make a list of all of my favourite things about her.

I love her smile when she finally understands something I've been trying to explain to her. I love the way her hair smells, and the way she makes a big deal out of a tiny little thing, I love her independence and the way she tries listening to the music I listen to, just for me, even though she hates it.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me, so I die happy.

Peyton looks over at me and smiles, and suddenly, I feel slightly light-headed.

Those eyes, those big green eyes, and that smile, seldom as it comes, has to be the most beautiful smile in the world.

My heart is yours to fill or burst to break or bury, or wear as jewellery, which ever you prefer.

My heart belongs to Brooke. Brooke who is brave, and caring, and funny. But there is a small part of me screaming out, brave? What makes you think that? How do you think Brooke would react if she found out was adopted and her real mother wanted to see her? She wouldn't go and visit her, that's for sure.

But I don't listen to that voice inside my head. I won't. I can't. So instead, I listen to the music.

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember, I'll always remember the sound of the stereo.

Why? Why does this song make me think of Peyton? Why does she have this inexplicable control over me? Why did I come on this road trip? Why am I even dating Broo– That's not what I'm thinking.

But that little voice inside my head keeps at it. You're still hiding from Peyton, it says. But I know it's not true. Because I am in love with Brooke Davis.

Did you ever love Peyton? Yes. But that was a long time ago. Things are different. Things are different how? When did you even get closure, a chance to get over her? All of the second half of Junior Year, I think to myself. And now I'm with Brooke. And she's The One.

'We're back.' Peyton says, snapping me out of my thoughts.

We walk inside and I see Brooke sitting on the couch looking tired.

'You're back!' She jumps up and goes to hug Peyton, and then goes to kiss me. But I pull away slightly quicker than usual feeling uncomfortable.

'I missed you..' she says to me.

'I missed you too, I love you Brooke.' I say. But I'm not quite sure who I'm trying to convince. I'm not quite sure of anything anymore.