The Powerpuff Girls
Battle of the Brats
Deus Ex Procella
The town of Citysville! An industrial city filled to the brim with corruption and deceit! Ah it's a horrible place to live, not even The Powerpuff Girls would think about living there again! Still this wretched rat's nest thrives and bustles with all the commotion of a freight train hitting a brick wall. Yes it's truly a wonderfully rotten place, perfect for any manner of underhanded trickery. Why even today a secret organization bent on world domination is planning to overthrow the nations of the world. Let's peek in on them!
Six shadowed figures sat around a circular table. Each was dressed in the finest business suits on the market. The six men all had their faces hidden in shadow, though why the lighting was so dim was unapparent, sophisticated crime organizations seem to just like the sinister glow it puts on them. A man at the head of the table rose and began to speak in a thick German accent.
"Gentlemen, velkommen zu this great untertaking! Ve hafe obtained die necessary chemicals for our plan to mofe forward!" The German walked away from the table, prompting the other five to rise and fall into step behind him. The German gestured and the glass screen in front of him lit up, allowing the other five to see through into the laboratory on the other side. The lab was very stereotypical, filled with beeping machines and booping readers, all connected to tubes that lead to a six foot tall capsule. The capsule was blue with a green-glass panel on the front, allowing the business men to see into the tube, where a tiny figure floated in a glowing liquid.
"You have found the Chemical X, and you have made it better, Boss?" The German, who was known only as The Boss to the underworld, turned to the man and grinned, his pearly white teeth glittering in the darkness.
"Of course, mein freund. Vith this new Zuper Chemical X, ve vill produce ein unstoppable veapon to finally take over the volrd!" Within the capsule, through the duranium plated walls, the small figure in the tube floated on unaware of the dark deals around him. Slowly his brown eyes creaked open just barely, and a subtle smirk stretched across his lips.
"
The city of Townsville! A perfect happy society filled with the happiest most productive citizens to ever grace the grand ol' U S of A! Perhaps the best place to live in the entire world! Why what place could be better than a city with its own personal defenders? Who are these defenders you may ask? Why none other than the greatest heroes in the world, The Powerpuff Girls!Yes Townsville is a Bronze Titan in comparison with the neighboring stink hole, Citysville.
Why would a city as perfect as Townsville need defenders? Well for all its perfection, Townsville is constantly threatened by a number of wicked, dastardly, and even foul smelling creatures. From the nefarious Mojo Jojo to the dark master himself, Him, our fair city is plagued by disaster after disaster. And all of these catastrophes are thwarted one after another, by The Powerpuff Girls
On this bright and shining day no villainous force nor natural calamity has threatened the city, allowing its resident defenders to rest easy! Today finds our sweet, caring, perfect heroines arguing over how to spend their Saturday! Aren't they such darlings?
"I don't want to hang out here, I want to go to the arcade since you two dorks won't play video games with me!" shouted Buttercup, the feisty brunette tomboy hell bent on tormenting her blond sister with pranks and jeers and driving her auburn-haired sister crazy through constant defiance. The red-haired sister in question, Blossom, crossed her arms and tapped her foot narrowing her eyes at Buttercup.
"Buttercup it's been almost a week since we've had a break, why can't you spend that break with your sisters?" Bubbles, the arguably youngest of the three, nodded and looked up from where she lay on the floor watching the colorful characters dancing across the idiot box.
"Yeah Buttercup! I wanna watch this show!" Buttercup snorted and put her hands on her hips, sneering at Bubbles.
"Why? We've all seen that movie twelve times! It's old now!" Bubbles stuck her tongue out and rebelliously turned back to the television, now properly ignoring her sister. Buttercup glared and debated briefly whether she should practice more wrestling moves on Bubbles. However, Blossom's presence did make that idea a little more difficult.
Bubbles was easy pickings, Blossom was a bit more challenging. Well she could take either one going one-on-one, but taking both at the same time she'd probably end up hurting one and then she'd be in trouble and it just wouldn't be good for anyone. Oh well, another day another sleeper hold.
"Whatever, I'm going to the arcade."
"Be back in time for lunch! It's your turn to cook!" Blossom shouted after her. True to form, Buttercup easily zoned out and ignored her older sister's order, instead focusing on the far more interesting subject of basic math. Two plus two was four, and four plus four was eight. Man this was a lot more interesting than listening to Blossom talk! Buttercup grinned and took to the air the moment she had left the house, quickening her journey to pure gamage by ridiculous fractions the author doesn't care to calculate.
Landing outside the arcade, Buttercup was pleasantly surprised to see it wasn't overflowing with business. Well it wasn't overflowing as far as weekend standards go. By normal standards it was still one of the busier places on the street corner. Buttercup waltzed in, quickly checking to figure how much change she had. Luckily she had found that twenty the Professor had given Blossom for some stupid brown-nosing chore.
"Heheh, sucks for you Red! More videogame pwnage for me!" Buttercup walked over to the cashier nearby, nearly skipping with unbridled joy at the gaming that awaited her. She placed the twenty on the counter and gave her best grin to the man behind the register.
"Gimme this many quarters!" The man nodded and without another word dumped the quarters on the counter, allowing Buttercup to greedily stuff them into her pockets. He shook his head as she jogged away, chingling with ever step she took. Buttercup in moments found the game of her heart's desire.
"Empire Aortic Vessels! My favorite!" She put in the initial fifty cents to begin playing, and in no time at all found herself wearing thin on change. After setting a high score, then promptly suffering a humiliating defeat, Buttercup pulled her remaining change out and begin counting.
"Uh…six, seven…ten, eleven…I think I have enough for," She was cut off by someone behind clearing their throat.
"Hey Julia, turn around and let's play a real game." Buttercup's cheeks flushed angrily and her fist clenched as she whipped around, still holding onto the remaining quarters.
"Hey Jerk face, my name is!" Sparkling silver flew through the air, joined by sparks and plastic shrapnel when a fist colliding with Buttercup's face sent her flying through the arcade machine behind her. Buttercup climbed out of the imprint she had put in the wall and looked up with a glare at the person stupid enough to punch her.
The boy was her height, with light brown hair in a bowel-cut, and brown eyes. He wore a white t-shirt with a green sweater vest over it, completing his look with khaki shorts and white shoots with red stripes. Perhaps the most strikingly predictable detail of the boy's appearance was that he was, in fact, a Rowdyruff Boy. He grinned at her with a venomous arrogance that burned at every fiber of Buttercup's ego. She climbed to her feet and stuck a mitt out, glaring at the boy with an exponentially rising hatred.
"You…" The boy chuckled and lifted his fist, grinning at Buttercup.
"Don't worry Susanne, this is a test, this is only a test. If this were an actual butt-whooping, I'd do this!" Leaving behind a streak of neon orange, the boy crossed the distance between the two in seconds. His fist plowed into Buttercup's mouth and sent her crashing through the back wall of the arcade, where she slammed into a dumpster and fell to the ground moaning in pain.
"Oh crud…that guy can really throw a punch." She heard him approaching and stumbled to her feet, a little jostled by that last punch.
"Thanks Maggie, I do my best," Buttercup blushed again and snarled, charging at the boy and deciding to let her fists do the talking. The boy blocked her initial punch and continued grinning. Buttercup only blushed more and snarled, throwing a flurry of punches that were just as easily blocked or dodged by the mysterious Rowdyruff. The boy jumped back and brought his fists up mockingly, taking a few sloppy swings and crossing his eyes.
"Oh dear, Roberta, if I fall asleep you might actually hit me! The breeze on those punches is nice though!" Buttercup growled and charged the boy.
"My name is Buttercup darn it!" She threw a punch, which he dodged simply by moving his head. The boy sneered and bent slightly before hitting Buttercup with a devastating uppercut, which knocked her soaring through the air. Her speedy ascent came to an abrupt halt as she crashed butt first into a pair of mitts.
"Buttercup! Are you alright?" Bubbles asked worriedly while Blossom floated alongside her eyeing the boy who seemed elated with the appearance of the other two puffs.
"And the award for most useless question in history goes to Bubbles Utonium! Of course I'm not alright, you had to save me!" Bubbles frowned and dropped Buttercup out of her arms. Unfortunately for the blond, her sister had recovered enough to catch herself. The two stuck their tongues out at each other, oblivious to the world around them until Blossom cleared her throat.
"Oh right, so what do you make of this guy, Red?" Blossom crossed her arms and stared at the ruff, a bead of sweat dripping down her temple. Meanwhile the boy continued to stare back, almost like someone had pushed a pause button on him.
"It's a Rowdyruff Boy and judging by your very shameful fight he's been super enhanced, probably so he can beat all three of us." Blossom cringed and looked around nervously, noticing the boy winking at her and blowing her a kiss.
"Oh crap! This is like some kind of bad fanfiction! God please don't make me fall in love with this creep…ew! Or if this is being written by Neo Larry I might end up a lesbian! Ugh this sucks!" Blossom cleared her throat and brushed away these unpleasant thoughts.
"What in the world are you talking about? This is real life Bloss! Not a fanfic!" Bubbles giggled at Buttercup's comment, while Blossom only shook her head.
"You're right, c'mon let's take out this punk!" The three descending on the boy, who was now playing a Nintendo DS, having grown tired of waiting for the heroes.
"Darn it Scooter! Evolve already you, oh hey they're ready!" The boy pocketed the DS and just in time grabbed Buttercup and Bubbles' fists as they charged at him. He then swung them together, stopping Blossom's attack and sandwiching the three together. Twirling around he gave a yell before throwing them across the street. Blossom rammed into a parked car, Bubbles a telephone pole, and Buttercup hit a pedestrian.
"Ow! What is this guy? He's a lot tougher than the Rowdyruff Boys we've been fighting!" Buttercup groaned, pulling away from the now unconscious mailman. Blossom stood up rubbing her head—though she was curious as to why her head would be hurting when she hit the car back first—and Bubbles pulled away from the telephone pole, leaving behind a perfect imprint of her head that frankly piqued Blossom's interest. Cartoon physics were so strange.
"He's like some kind of Super Rowdyruff Boy!" Bubbles exclaimed, throwing her arms up helplessly.
"Oh God, that was written in bold, it has to be important. Man can't they come up with better names for these characters?" Blossom thought mournfully. She nearly laughed when she looked across the street and saw the Rowdyruff Boy holding a book entitled "Proper Etiquette for Fanfic Battles." He noticed her and looked up, quickly closing the book and returning it to the hammer space of his khaki pants—or possibly just sticking it in his underwear.
"That's right Jefferson Airplane! I'm the Super Rowdyruff Boy, Battle,created just for kicking your butts! The Boss just sent me here to test my power out on one of you, but I think I'll put all three of you down for the count instead!" Battle hunched over and in a ridiculously cliché fashion clenched his fists and began to radiate an orange aura while yelling for no apparent reason.
"Oh man, look at that power!" Buttercup exclaimed, bringing her fists up defensively. Blossom only nodded and stared in amazement. The author of this fanfic actually had the audacity to rip of Dragonball Z, can you stoop any lower?
"Wait! No! Don't listen to him! Please God don't make me fall in love with this guy! Or worse the Rowdyruff Boys or my sisters! Please I beg you!" Okay then, Blossom was shocked and amazed by how much power Battle was exhibiting. Bubbles stood on shaking knees, her hands to her mouth in horror while the ground beneath Battle began to crack and rocks floated into the air.
"Oh no…we're in trouble girls," Blossom muttered helplessly. Battle grinned and there was a bright flash, as he relaxed and brought his leg back, his aura radiating comfortably around him.
"You got it Jordan! I'm going to mess! You! Up!" Battle shot across the pavement, splitting the street apart and slammed his fist into Blossom's chest. She gasped and fell to the ground, darkness swimming over her vision and knocking her into unconsciousness. Battle jumped and threw a roundhouse kick at Buttercup's head. The blow was hard enough to knock her out on contact, yet somehow when she hit the wall of the building behind her she only bounced off it and fell to the ground. Bubbles screamed and tried to dodge when Battle attacked her, but it was useless and a few seconds and a piledriver later she too succumbed to sleepy land. Battle laughed and floated above the defeated Powerpuff Girls, crossing his arms.
"Take that Earth, Wind, and Fire! I'm out of here!" Battle flew off, leaving the greatest heroines in the world lying defeated in the street.
"So you see Gentlemen, Battle is die real deal. Vhere vill die bidding begin, ja?" The Boss stood with his hand on Battle's head, the Super Rowdyruff Boy grinning and crossing his arms as the other five business men began to fight over who would use him for their own gains. He glanced over his shoulder and noticed that the amazing "Spy on Anywhere Without Cameras" screen was showing the Powerpuff Girls recovering from his beating.
"Hey Boss, the girls are getting up!" He said, turning and pointing to the screen. The Boss looked up and saw this, then patting Battle on the head and stroking his chin—not necessarily in that order—he grinned and turned to the others.
"Gentlemen, watch as Battle now destroys the Powerpuff Girls. I'm sure after this display you'll be ready to pay double for his services!" Battle grinned and took off, flying through the hole he'd made in the ceiling previously to take down his worst enemies.
"Why are they my worst enemies? Oh right! The Boss said so and it's in the script! Let's do this!" Laughing evilly—as all evil people do—he took off faster, eager to end his foes' lives.
The battered and beaten Powerpuff Girls rose to their feet, nursing their injuries and their far more wounded pride.
"Oh man…that guy was too strong, how are we supposed to beat him?" Buttercup complained, holding her throbbing head. Blossom sighed and crossed her arms. She had a feeling she knew the answer, but God knows it was going to be awkward. Even worse if the author of this ridiculous story decided to throw everyone completely out of character. Bubbles looked up at Blossom from where she was seated on the ground.
"Blossom? Do you have any ideas?" Blossom groaned and nodded.
"Yeah…I think I know how we can beat him, but you aren't going to like it. I don't even like it," Buttercup and Bubbles walked over to their sister. Buttercup was a little miffed when Blossom jumped and jerked away, sweating and looking very frightened when all Buttercup did was put a supportive hand on her sister's shoulder.
"What? I was just trying to be nice…geez grow up Red," Blossom shook her head, breathing a sigh of relief. She was still safe, no sudden attraction between her and her sisters, no sudden romantic feelings developing out of nowhere. Everything was good, everything was still normal.
"Well…we're going to need help…" Buttercup and Bubbles stared in confusion. Blossom groaned and waved her arms, "You know…more people like us," Her sisters continued to stare in complete ignorance. Blossom moaned in annoyance. Could her sister's be more oblivious to the typical fanfic solution to any unstoppable enemy? "Just follow me and don't complain too much," Blossom took off, leaving behind two still very confused sisters. Bubbles and Buttercup looked at each other, shrugged then took off flying after their red-haired sister.
"You want us to what?" The three super-powered evil little boys laughed scornfully. Blossom lowered her head and blushed, having a hard time believing she was being forced to stoop this low. What did she do to deserve this kind of torture? Why was she being forced to endure this unbearable nightmare just because some geeky teenager thought it would be cool to "write their own story!!" Man this really sucks!
"We need your help you jerks! This Super Ruff is way tougher than all three of us put together!" Buttercup shouted, getting very irate with the boys' attitudes. Brick, the red haired leader of the Rowdyruff Boys, snorted and shrugged leering at Buttercup dangerously.
"So what? That's not our problem Powerpuff Wussies!" Butch the black-haired ruffian of the three chuckled and crossed his arms.
"Yeah wimps! We ain't afraid of some Super Loser you girls can't handle!" Boomer, the idiot, laughed absent mindedly. He wasn't entirely aware of what the others were talking about, but he saw his brother's laughing and figured he should too.
"He's stronger than you guys too! Please you have to help us!" Bubbles whined, taking Brick's hand and giving him her best puppy dog eyes. Blossom sucked in a breath between her teeth and cringed. This was it, the author was going to sell out and start a romance. Thankfully, God was kind and Brick slapped Bubbles' hands away and laughed in her face.
"Get away cootie bag! We aren't going to help you losers!" Blossom sighed and put a hand on her hip. If the Ruffs didn't help them there was no way they were going to defeat that annoying Super Rowdyruff Boy. Fanfic authors were never nice enough to let the Powerpuff Girls, the stars of the show, be competent enough to beat the bad guys themselves. Heaven forbid the girls be powerful enough to deal with their own problems! God people were such jerks!
"B-Blossom…Blossom look he's here!" Blossom looked up and saw a huge explosion across the street. The dust and smoke cleared, allowing the Powerpuff Girls and Rowdyruff Boys to see Battle within the crater. Battle floated up from the crater and grinned at them.
"Hey Jackson Five! I left you alive last time but this time I won't be so nice!" Blossom rolled her eyes. Could he be any more lame? Seriously? That's the best way to say he was going to kill them this time. What in the world is wrong with this story?
"You got lucky last time! This time I'm gonna whip your butt!" Buttercup shot through the air and was joined by Bubbles. Both left behind colored streaks as they charged at Battle. The Super Ruff arched his back and began yelling again. Somehow yelling and tensing up caused his orange aura to flare up. He leered at the Powerpuff Girls and charged at them, smacking Bubbles and Buttercup aside and charging at Blossom.
"Take this Kakarotto!" A huge bead of seat leaked down Blossom's face moments before a fist crashed into her nose and sent her flying through the air. Battle caught up to her in moments and began to unload a furious barrage of punches and kicks on her body, ending by hitting her with an overhead slam and knocking her into the ground. Battle flashed and caught Buttercup and Bubbles in the air.
"Sonic Scream!" Bubbles shouted just before screaming and sending a wave of sonic energy at Battle. Battle grinned and wound his arm up then swung it around like a windmill, canceling out the sound waves. Buttercup raised both fists which began glowing bright green.
"Plasma Blast!" Battle swung his arm and batted away the plasma easily. The then brought up both hands and grinned.
"Try this! Super Ultra Special Funky Sparkling Beams!" Twin beams of rainbow energy shot from Battle's hands and knocked Bubbles and Buttercup out of the air. He laughed and turned to the Rowdyruff Boys, who were watching awestruck for no apparent reason.
"Hey Queen! Your hair is gayer than your lead singer!" The Rowdyruff Boys stared back in shock, then began fuming with anger.
"We're not gay! Rowdyruff Boys go!" Blossom sat up and watched the Rowdyruff Boys join Bubbles and Buttercup in attacking Battle, who was knocking them away and beating them around easily. She groaned and rubbed her head, sighing.
"Insulting their sexual orientation? That's all it took? God darn it I could have done that!" Blossom watched the others fight and simply shook her head at the sheer audacity of the whole situation. Battle was beating down the others with ease, using attacks whose names couldn't be more ridiculous. Battle landed as Butch and Buttercup faced off with him. Buttercup brought her arms back while Butch's settled at his side like holding a ball. Battle raises his over his left shoulder, and grinned.
"Garlic Gun!" Battle threw his hands forward, firing out a giant purple beam at Buttercup and Butch.
"Oh my GOD! He's using Dragonball Z attacks!" Buttercup thrust both hands forward.
"Tribeam!" Yellow light shot from Buttercup's hands and rammed into the Garlic Gun, merely slowing its path. Butch knelt down a bit, causing blue light to glow in his hands.
"Kamehameha!" Butch thrust his hands forward, releasing a colossal tunnel of light which slammed into the Garlic Gun, only further slowing its approach.
"Oh come on! Be original! Is that the best you can come up with!?" Blossom screamed, looking around at the sky trying to find the author. She watched Bubbles descend from above charging at Battle.
"Rasengan!" A swirling ball of light appeared in her hand which she promptly slammed into Battle, who grinned and completely ignored the pain like it was nothing. Boomer held his hand out causing a sword made of yellow energy to be formed. He charged at Battle and leapt into the air.
"Omni Slash!" Boomer began to attack Battle with an endless barrage of blows, but still the Super Rowdyruff ignored the pain like it was nothing. Brick stood behind Battle and floated up spread eagle. He gathered yellow energy into his hands and slammed them together.
"It's over now! Final Flash!" Blossom nearly began crying when the beam shot from Brick's hands. None of these incredibly cliché attacks were doing a thing to the Rowdyruff Boy. God could this story get any worse? She had to end it! She had to put this God forsaken story out of its misery! But how?
"Oh please don't make me do this...oh alright, I'll do it! If I don't end this story now it may become a horrible romance…ugh anything to avoid having to play kissy face with a Rowdyruff Boy or one of my sisters!" Blossom threw away the dignity she had left and hunched over, yelling like she was trying to give birth. It took a few moments but soon pink light began to glow around her. She arched her back and screamed louder, causing the light to become completely opaque.
Battle shrugged his shoulders, causing a bright orange light to explode around him and send the three Ruffs and two Puffs flying through the streets. They all landed painfully on the ground, barely able to push themselves up. He laughed, then noticed the pink light and took a step back fearfully.
"Oh man! This is the part the book said to look out for, if someone starts glowing they're going to transform! Man I hate this!" Blossom gave a harsh yell and the light exploded. The dimming light revealed a new, more powerful Blossom, one who had gone beyond her previous limitations by harnessing the endless powers of the Fanfiction Laws. Her hair was now free from its clip and bow, and was hot pink. Her pupils were gone causing her eyes to be solid pink as well. Her dress had become white and her belt had changed from black to shining gold.
"Oh wow Blossom became a Super Puff!" exclaimed Buttercup. Blossom groaned and put a hand on her hip.
"Why did she have to say that? Oh alright I'll play along to get this stupid story over with," Blossom raised her hands above her head and began focusing, causing a blue ball to form above her hands and begin growing.
"Uh…give me your strength! So I can beat this guy! And put myself out of my misery…" The Ruffs and Puffs, moved by Blossom's transformation and her compassion to stand alone against Battle raised their hands and for no apparent reason their energy was given to the ball above Blossom. Blossom sweated and glared at Battle who had now charged at her.
"Kakarotto!" He screamed, confusing Blossom more than ever. She floated up and leaned back.
"This is for ruining my Saturday with this awful fanfic! Spirit Bomb!" Blossom threw the spirit bomb at Battle and upon contact he began screaming as a brilliant light erupted from his body and completely wiped him out. Blossom flashed and returned to normal, crossing her arms and sighing.
"Oh thank God it's over…maybe I can still catch The Daily Show with John Stewart!" Blossom prepared to fly away but was stopped when a puff of red smoke rose from the ground and the demonic Him appeared, holding a scroll and feather quill pen. Blossom stared at him in confusion then began putting everything together.
"This was your fault! You wrote this stupid fanfic!" Him laughed and waved his claw at Blossom.
"Oh of course I did! And I must say you really stole the show my dear! But there is a part that's missing…heheheh," Him giggled evilly and began writing. Blossom took a few steps back in horror, bracing herself for the worst. She bumped into someone and suddenly felt Brick breathing against her ear and rubbing her shoulders.
"Hey Bloss…you were amazing back there," Blossom's face went pale and she screamed when Bubbles and Buttercup hugged her arms and rested their cheeks against her shoulders.
"Yeah I've never been more turned on Red, you were so gorgeous," Buttercup said lustfully. Bubbles only giggled and nuzzled Blossom's neck. Butch and Boomer held her hands and stared at her with hearts in their eyes.
"Blossom I always wanted to tell you, but I was too afraid…" Butch began. This was too much for Blossom who screamed and shook them off, taking off flying away as fast as she could.
"NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" The others turned and took off after her at full speed.
"Wait Blossy! I love you! I always have!"
"Bloss please don't go! I want to marry you!"
"Have my babies Blossom!"
"Don't leave me, we're destined for each other!"
"You're just playing hard to get!"
Him watched the kids go and laughed hysterically to himself.
"Oh another day, another emotional scar for my dear Blossom! Could this story be any better? HAHAHAHA!" Him laughed and vanished in a puff of red smoke, as the five love-struck heroes tore the city apart trying to catch their unwilling object of desire.
And so once again the day is saved, thanks to The Powerpuff Girls! Oh Blossom! C'mere you!