A/N:
Sky: Okay… where to begin :/
I know it's been a heck of a long time since Ayns and I have updated No Matter What. There are several factors to this; rest assured, we're not going to discontinue or drop it. We have plans to work on it this weekend for sure. This story is also mainly just to update people on NMW's status, since A/N posts are banned and I don't want to make an A/N chapter in NMW.
Reason One: Life mainly. Work, limited time, other writing projects and not enough time in the day to get everything we want done. It's sad, I know, but we both got a lot busier than we were back when we started this story.
Reason Two: In the beginning of January, I had to break up with my fiancé. I've been pretty down about it, and still am. It's been hard for me to write romance with a broken heart, and the rest of NMW will be romance. I've mainly been curled up singing "Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson while crying into a teddy bear. I'm hoping that's just a phase.
So, thank you for the e-mails and reviews wondering where we are and if we plan to continue, I'm sorry we're keeping you waiting so long. We'll try to update over the weekend if we have time. Until then, this is a one-shot from Goldilocks' point of view, taking place afters the barrier was first taken down and the Jabberwocky got out.
*****
Just Right
*****
Too big.
Too small.
Just right.
Too hot.
Too cold.
Just right.
Too hard.
Too soft.
Just right.
Really, what does 'just right' mean? Is there anything in this world that fits or feels perfect for a person? Or is it all just an illusion because at the time, it feels so wonderful and so right, it makes you so happy, that you feel like perfection?
People will always say that no one is perfect, that nothing lasts forever, and that nothing is as bad as it seems when it happens. Well, it's true for the most part. No one is perfect—there is no such thing. As for something lasting forever—you'd think as an Everafter, I would believe that something could outlast time. I've lived a very long time and seen a lot of things.
I'd like to think I was never naïve enough to believe things didn't have to come to an end. No matter how much you want something or you try to hold onto something, it will one day be over. People change, feelings change, life changes, and life itself will one day end. Even for an Everafter.
As for the last one—that nothing is as bad as it seems when it's happening… I have yet to decide if the pain I feel now will be as bad as the pain I'm sure to feel later when I think back to this moment. After all, I thought Henry was 'just right' for me. I believed it would last forever, even if a part of my mind was trying to remind me that there are always possibilities and things can always change. For now, the pain is almost unbearable. I find it hard to believe I can function the way I once did ever again. So many of my memories are shared that anything I do reminds me of what I've lost. I hear his voice in love songs and I taste his kisses when I close my eyes.
I'm in agony.
All I can do is hope that the pain will fade with time, as most things do. But how can time hope to heal my wounds when I stand still, unaffected?
Perhaps one day, I can look back on the time I spent with Henry and have no regrets. I can say that I was happy for the times and the love we shared, and instead of wishing I hadn't wasted time, that I'm glad I spent that time being happy. The love songs will fill me with fondness, rather than melancholy regret. I'll close my eyes and see the dreams I once had. Perhaps, one day.
And maybe someday I can look back with a smile. I can't quite think about it without tears right now, but who could blame me if I cry?
It's not the end of my world, I know. For now, it feels like there's no hope, and that there will never be a 'just right' to stand beside me. I shouldn't feel this way. I don't want to feel this way.
Standing from my hotel room, I head to the balcony. A bird lands beside my arm, chirping in an attempt to comfort the sorrow that has to be radiating from every inch of my body.
As I look out into the vast world that I've been sheltered from for so long, the place outside my blissful, ignorant cage, I can feel hope welling up within me.
I should never give up on trying to find someone that feels 'just right' to me. The world has not ended—the world is large, and I am not bound. It hurts more than words describe, but it won't always. Just like our love didn't last forever, my heartbreak won't either.
I'll move on. I'll find out whose hearts are too big or too small, too cold or too hot, too soft or too hard to fit with mine.
And one day, when I find the one who fits me perfectly, my 'just right'…
I will look back on these days and smile.
*****
A/N:
Sky: I know it's short and kinda awkward, and not even that good, but it was a vent for me, mostly. I wanted to update people on NMW, and to write through with the only character in the series I felt could understand or personify the broken heart syndrome I'm going through. Knowing one day it has to get better, but pretty much saying 'yeah right it'll never get better' anyway.
Also, the 'just right' references were of course, pertaining to the Goldilocks fairytale.
You don't have to review this one at all. I know it sucked and was very short.